American Silent Horror Part Six

DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE
(1920)
Dir - J. Charles Haydon
Overall: MEH

 
In 1920, two different versions of Robert Louis Stevenson's The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were made in America alone, (there was also F.W. Murnau's lost Der Januskopf which stared Béla Lugosi), and the second though allegedly first to go into production was from the little known Pioneer Film Corporation.  Directed by J. Charles Haydon and produced by Louis Meyer, (though not MGM's Louis B. Mayer, to add even more confusion), this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde features Sheldon Lewis in the title roles and is an unremarkable adaptation that merely keeps the rudimentary premise of Stevenson's source material.  Running merely an hour, it still slogs along due to its unimpressive production values and Haydon's less than inspired direction.  As Hyde, Lewis merely contorts his face and shags up his hair, running around and strangling a few people but otherwise providing little menace on screen. Jekyll begins the story as a benevolent fellow running a children's hospital for the poor, whose experiments are conducted under the thesis that man has no soul.  Then the cop-out ending allows for him to recant this statement in a manner that was in fashion at the time since unchecked blasphemy was hardly allowed.

 

MIDNIGHT FACES

(1926)

Dir - Bennett Cohen

Overall: MEH

 

This largely forgotten old dark house quasi-comedy is not one of the more memorable of the lot, stemming from the mind of writer/director Bennett Cohen who haphazardly throws together various cliches without elevating any of them.  Cohen also hardly has a keen eye for visuals, as Midnight Faces is flat from beginning to end.  The checklist of motifs include a young man who inherits a large estate from a rich old relative that he never knew he had, said young man having an African American scardey-cat male servant who falls down a lot and says "lawdy lawdy", a mysterious "phantom" who runs around in a cloak and disappears into the walls, creepy hands emerging from behind people's back, secret passages, shady housekeepers, a Caucasian actor in yellow face, bumbling police detectives, and of course a needlessly convoluted plot that collapses under even the most minute scrutiny.  It is poorly paced and lacking in atmospherics, (the setting is just a bog-standard country house and the day for night sequences do not even try), but the cast at least pretend that they are in a better movie than they actually are.

 

SEVEN FOOTPRINTS TO SATAN

(1929)

Dir - Benjamin Christensen

Overall: MEH

 

Seven years after making the seminal witchcraft mockumentary Häxan in Sweden, Danish filmmaker Benjamin Christensen delivered the unremarkable, synchronized sound old dark house farce Seven Footprints to Satan.  It is an adaptation of Abraham Merritt's 1928 novel of the same name, an absurd romp that is low on chills and even lower on laughs, but it has a wacky premise on paper.  Creighton Hale plays a bespectacled fellow with a lot of his rich uncle's money at his disposal who plans to take a lengthy expedition in Africa for adventures sake.  Instead, Hale finds himself and his top-billed love interest Thelma Todd caught up in an elaborate and bizarre kidnapping scheme in a mansion full of wacky occupants who all seem to be either prisoners or servants of actually Satan or just some eccentric fellow who calls himself Satan.  It has a comedic tone where our main characters act frightened and confused while continuously saying that they would simply rather go home then participate in any of the insanity that they are forced into, but laugh out loud moments are none to be found.  There is a guy in a gorilla suit, a guy dressed up as an Asian mystic, a guy with the most ridiculous facial hair in mankind's history, (see picture), a guy on stilts called "The Spider", and a woman with a whip, but sadly it all spells mediocrity.

Hammer House of Horror Part Three

CARPATHIAN EAGLE
(1980)
Dir - Francis Megahy
Overall: MEH
 

Boasting a female slasher premise, (meaning a woman who is a slasher killer, not your typical male killer who slashes women), "Carpathian Eagle" packs in a few sleazy and singular tweaks, even if it still ends up being unremarkable.  Suzanne Danielle is ideally cast as the enticing vixen who leads a double life and seduces a slew of horny men merely by walking down the street and swaying her hips, only to bust out a sacrificial blade to remove their hearts once she makes them close their eyes and promises them a "surprise".  Several episodes of Hammer House of Horror featured the bad guys/monsters getting away with their deeds, and the final act here provides an adequate surprise in this regard, even if some of the Easter European yarn-spinning is not delivered upon.  A young Pierce Brosnan shows up too for what it is worth.

GUARDIAN OF THE ABYSS
(1980)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: GOOD

 

For "Guardians of the Abyss", John Carson once again plays a practitioner of the black arts in a Hammer production.  Instead of utilizing such magik for zombie slave labor as he did in 1966's The Plague of the Zombies, Carson is up to an even more sinister deed here, trying to resurrect a demon that is, (as the title would suggest), hell's guardian.  Specific rituals that are at the whim of the screenwriter, upside down crosses, robed cult members, hypnotism, ancient relics, and a twist ending of sorts that spells our hero's doom, it has the usual ingredients except wields them in a consistently sinister manner.  Doctor Who writer David Fisher and Hammer director Don Sharp each showcase a penchant for such genre material, (the type of material that the studio was often times best at in their heyday), and it plays like an updating of the exceptional Dennis Wheatley adaptation The Devil Rides Out. 

 

VISITOR FROM THE GRAVE
(1980)
Dir - Peter Sasdy
Overall: MEH

 

Ruined by a perpetually grating performance from Dark Shadows' Kathryn Leigh Scott, (as well as Simon MacCorkindale playing her ill-tempered and aggressively annoyed boyfriend, even if understandably), Hammer House of Horror's "Visitor from the Grave" at least has some atmospheric menace that director Peter Sasdy manages to conjure up.  This was the third and last episode of the show that Sasdy was behind the lens on, but the script by Anthony Hinds, (the son of Hammer founder William Hinds and a producer for the company himself), unfortunately leaves little for Scott to do besides act hysterical and scream in an unhinged fashion in practically every scene.  Even if a guy with half of his face blown off who is supposed to be dead and buried keeps tormenting her and anybody would be upset with such business, it makes for a labored watch.  The scheming gaslighting may be predictable, but it does manage to deliver a supernatural comeuppance coda, so that is something.

 

THE TWO FACES OF EVIL
(1980)
Dir - Alan Gibson
Overall: GOOD

 

A doppelgänger/Invasion of the Body Snatchers hybrid with a title that references Hammer's 1960 Robert Louis Stevenson adaptation The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll, "The Two Faces of Evil" has some predictable beats here or there, but it is also consistently eerie and plays one of the genre's most frequented narrative cards of "this poor upset woman must be suffering a mental strain and ergo what she is ranting and raving about cannot actually be happening" better than most.  The opening scene has a family on their way to holiday picking up a man in a trench-coat who nearly runs them off the road in the pouring rain, and after such a bad decision on their part is made, things gradually spiral from there.  Cinematographer Frank Watts, (who shot nine episodes for the series), does some splendid work with long hallways and tweaked lenses, plus writer Ranald Graham makes the sinister presence undeniable yet still manages to throw enough psychological doubt into the proceedings to keep us guessing until the final set piece which is the most creepy.

 

THE MARK OF SATAN
(1980)
Dir - Don Leaver
Overall: MEH

 

Hammer House of Horror gets around to its inevitable Anti-Christ/"Book of Revelations"/The Omen installment with the closer "The Mark of Satan".  While Dan Shaw's script is not specifically concerned with unleashing its own Damien on the planet, it does reference the usual motifs such as bible verses, an obsession with numbers, (nine here instead of six, being the inversion of the latter), and a conspiratorial plot where no one can be trusted.  Peter McEnery plays the hapless sap who undergoes such paranoia, and at no point does the supernatural become tangible, which renders this a psychological tale where one man goes insane, possibly due to a viral outbreak.  There are a few ghastly moments sprinkled around, and director Don Leaver stages a Rosemary's Baby-styled hallucination scene full of warped camera angles, cackling white people, and Vaseline on the camera lens.  Tone wise it steers away from camp as much as it can, but it still fails to be as evocative and unsettling as it should be.

Hammer House of Horror Part Two

THE HOUSE THAT BLED TO DEATH
(1980)
Dir - Tom Clegg
Overall: MEH

 

One of many supernatural tales that takes its inspiration from The Amityville Horror, "The House That Bled to Death" is one of the few that touches upon the hoax aspect of the actual case, one that was perpetrated and embellished by author Jay Anson and proven hucksters Ed and Lorraine Warren.  While this gives the Hammer House of Horror segment a differentiating quality from just anther haunted house yarn, David Lloyd's script easily falls apart under even the most minute scrutiny.  It is a disappointing twist in any respect, revealing icky people doing icky things and traumatizing their own child in the process.  If one can forgive the narrative shortcomings, lack of likeable characters, and stock nature of the material, there are a few fiendish set pieces to enjoy, namely a birthday part that goes straight to hell via bloody water pipes.

CHARLIE BOY
(1980)
Dir - Robert Young
Overall: MEH

 

Five years after Dan Curtis' seminal Trilogy of Terror found Karen Black fending for her life against a cartoonishly creepy Zuni fetish doll, the Hammer House of Horror installment "Charlie Boy" presents yet another small screen foray into an African idol on the loose.  This one pulls off more of a drawn-out string of unfortunate events instead of just going full tiny slasher mode.  Leigh Lawson gets his hand on said mystical antique which as it turns out is possessed by a no-good sorcerer, and in a fit of rage against some people who he felt wronged him, he stabs the thing, the thing bleeds, and one-by-one people start getting picked off by elaborate means.  The plot follows a framework that is easy to foretell and there are odd musical choices made along the way that disastrously dilute any sense of proper atmosphere, but both the aforementioned doll and the basic premise are unsettling, plus the death sequences have some ghastly charm to them.

 

THE SILENT SCREAM
(1980)
Dir - Alan Gibson
Overall: GOOD

 

Notable for being the last Hammer production that Peter Cushing would ever appear in, "The Silent Scream" is one of the more ghastly entries in the Hammer House of Horror program.  Cushing of course is wonderful and ideally cast as an elderly pet shop owner that is not entirely what he seems, even when we are shown that he likes to keep a collection of exotic pets surrounded by electric gates.  A spry Brian Cox is also on board as a recently released petty criminal, and Francis Essex' script takes some foreseeable turns that nevertheless remain intentionally unpleasant.  It is a torture porn precursor of sorts, but it is done in a non-graphic, television friendly manner that pulls off a nifty trick of having an ending where justice is served yet everybody still loses and loses hard.  Despite its unpleasantness and some sequences that will not please animal lovers, it achieves its objective to disturb, plus Cushing fans would be doing themselves a disservice to miss the beloved actor in one of his final horror forays.

 

CHILDREN OF THE FULL MOON
(1980)
Dir - Tom Clegg
Overall: MEH

 

With a title like "Children of the Full Moon" in a program like Hammer House of Horror, one can accurately guess that werewolves will be afoot.  That said, Murray Smith's script does some singular things with such obligatory monsters, even going so far as to have a rug-pull midway through where we are made to believe that what we had previously witnessed was merely an acute nightmare.  Besides that narrative cliche, we also get the ole gag of a couple's car breaking down, them huffing it up to a spacious and isolated mansion to use the phone, said phone not working, the person living there being disturbingly chipper, and other curious hints that something odd is going down.  As far as actual lycanthropian shenanigans, they are few and far between, plus the scant makeup shots are hardly up to par with Hammer's The Curse of the Werewolf from nearly two decades prior.  It gets by to a point on its inventiveness, but it is still an unremarkable production overall.

Hammer House of Horror Part One

WITCHING TIME

(1980)

Dir - Don Leaver

Overall: MEH

 

Though it boasts a cromulent premise, the Hammer House of Horror program gets off to a clunky start with "Witching Time".  A condemned practitioner of the black arts who gets burned alive during the era of witch executions, only to vow vengeance and return centuries later to wreak more havoc is a premise as old as time.  The Rocky Horror Picture Show's own Patricia Quinn portrays such a resurrected evil sorceress, tormenting and fornicating with a mulleted Jon Finch as he deals with some extramarital drama.  Quinn's performance is fittingly caricatured, but there are numerous scenes that are handled awkwardly by director Don Leaver, providing some unintended hysterics that to not jive correctly with a tone that seems to be taking itself seriously instead of winking at the audience.  The ending particularly goes off the rails as Quinn and Prunella Gee clumsily catfight and scream at each other as the later miraculously bests her opponent in unholy magic with no knowledge or skill whatsoever.

 

THE THIRTEENTH REUNION

(1980)

Dir - Peter Sasdy

Overall: MEH

 

It takes awhile for the second episode of Hammer House of Horror to officially lay all of its cards on the table, but viewers will pick up on the ghoulish gag in a more prompt fashion.  While this does not make "The Thirteenth Reunion" a waste, it does dilute its final two set pieces which should rely on white-knuckled tension but instead are pedestrian.  Until the anti-climactic finish though, we are given some clever tidbits where Julia Foster's reporter is delegated to check up on a shady weight loss clinic where James Cosmo screams at fatties until they cry and one of their clients dies mysteriously after being given the green light to pork-up.  As the title would suggest, we also meet a group of people reuniting for a dinner party, welcoming a snooping Foster with open arms and haphazardly letting her escape because the script is going to get her back anyway.  Many of the details to said script from Jeremy Burnham do not add up, plus Hammer regular Peter Sasdy has done better work from behind the lens.

 

RUDE AWAKENING

(1980)

Dir - Peter Sasdy

Overall: GOOD

 

A ghoulish precursor to Groundhog Day, Hammer House of Horror's "Rude Awakening" finds returning director Peter Sasdy and television producer/screenwriter Gerald Savory delivering a stream of waking nightmares for Denholm Elliott to endure.  Not that Elliott's, (perhaps), unfaithful real estate agent is not deserving of his eventual comeuppance, yet the story wisely plays the psychological horror game where the protagonist succumbs to his desires due to a loveless marriage that he feels trapped in.  Elliott reliving different variations of the same supernaturally-charged day, it is presented as if he is having an affair with his secretary, (Lucy Gutteridge of Top Secret! fame), but there are obvious clues along the way that he is existing in a perpetual dream state that is fueled by his already troubled mind.  Though the specifics may not add up under a microscope, each sequence is full of the type of macabre inventiveness that those always wonderful Amicus anthology movies were ripe with.  

 

GROWING PAINS

(1980)

Dir - Francis Megahy

Overall: MEH

 

The Hammer House of Horror program knocks-off their obligatory "evil kid" story with their forth entry "Growing Pains".  One of only a handful of roles for retired child actor Matthew Blakstad, he portrays the adoptee of Gary Bond and Barbara Kellerman as the typical weird and humorous child that says and does inappropriate and upsetting things while remaining annoyingly calm.  A supernatural element becomes clear after awhile where more unwholesome stuff happen like various animals getting murdered, the new parents understandably regretting their decision to take in a new son as a replacement of sorts for their tragically deceased one.  Though it is competently done and there is a certain level of mystery throughout the first half, little else in the story works.  This is mostly due to the tricky subject matter, (asshole kids and pets getting killed are a rough combination to make entertaining), but it has a humdrum reveal, plus Francis Megahy's script shows a lack of creativity as far as set pieces go.

Play for Today Horror

ROBIN REDBREAST
(1970)
Dir - James MacTaggart
Overall: GOOD

 

One of the earliest surviving Play for Today installments, (though it currently only exists in black and white, the original color videotape long gone), Robin Redbreast exemplifies the type of slow moving folk horror that British television was adapt at delivering around the time.  As was common practice, the interiors are shot on video while exteriors were done on film, but this is only minimally jarring, due to the fact that most of the proceedings are done in doors and also because director James MacTaggart maintains a consistent tone of gradual unease.  There is no incidental score and only one tense set piece in the finale, the rest of John Griffith Bowen's script allowing for Anna Cropper's protagonist to grow more paranoid by the unorthodox behavior of her new country neighbors, especially by the time that she becomes stranded there against her will with an unplanned baby on the way.  The twist is both sinister and satisfying, playing off of Pagan folklore that leaves the fate of Cropper's child unresolved as the countryside village bides their time.

 

PENDA'S FEN
(1974)
Dir - Alan Clarke
Overall: GOOD

 

A rare work in English folk horror that is philosophical in its intent, Penda's Fen is one of eleven Play for Today installments made by director Alan Clarke, authored by David Rudkin who also adapted the M.R. James story "The Ash Tree" for BBC's A Ghost Story for Christmas strand.  Through the troubled eyes of a young adopted protagonist that is on the cusp of entering into adulthood, the story ponders over much, namely the social and religious state of contemporary England and how it melds with its pre-Christian past.  Spencer Banks is opinionated in his beliefs, a traditionalist who is at odds with his parents, teachers, and classmates, but also one who becomes susceptible to psychological influences that take on an otherworldly nature.  He has a conversation with a long-dead Edward Elgar, (whose "The Dream of Gerontius" composition has a profound spiritual effect on him), he witnesses Pagan rituals, angels and demons appear to him in dreams, homoerotic fantasies intrude upon those dreams, and he eventually comes face to face with King Penda and the "mother and father of England", all of which spells his coming of age where he must find his place in a landscape that persistently challenges him.  Though Elgar's music plays a significant role, Clarke lets things play out with no incidental score, lingering on most of the images to create an enigmatic and lingering effect long after the credits role.

 

A STORY TO FRIGHTEN THE CHILDREN

(1976)

Dir - Herbert Wise

Overall: GOOD

 

An interesting police procedural that takes a muted approach to its material, "A Story to Frighten the Children" has a misleading title as it concerns an adult woman who gets stalked, murdered, and raped late at night in a populated neighborhood whose inhabitants fail to help her.  In this respect it is more a cautionary tale for women and communities, showcasing the harrowing aftermath of indifference and fear.  As was the case for many Play for Today segments, it is presented in a sobering manner with no incidental music and no cinematic flourishes.  The opening inciting incident is particularly disturbing as it is played out in real time, with the victim's screams falling on deaf ears as she is persistently unable to shake off the murderous advances of her pursuer.  What follows is law enforcement's frustration with interviewing a slew of people, some of whom are not forthcoming with any useful information until after a television crew shows up.  Besides the killer, everyone else's intentions are coming from a good place, despite their inability to be cooperative at times.  It is only that they are fueled by apprehension and guilt, presenting a complex and all too real scenario that crime investigations often find themselves navigating through.

 

A PHOTOGRAPH

(1977)

Dir - John Glenister

Overall: GOOD

 

A quasi-companion piece to the season one Play for Today folk horror installment Robin Redbreast in that both were written by John Bowen and feature Freda Bamford playing the same supporting character, A Photograph plays a long con on the viewer, which is fitting considering the subject matter.  This is because it focuses on a dysfunctional husband and wife couple, (John Stride and Stephanie Turner, respectively), the husband of which is a self-centered blowhard who frequently flies off at the handle, neglects his understandably troubled spouse, and never comes clean about his extramarital affairs despite having numerous opportunities to do so.  The inciting incident is when they are mailed a photograph of two women sitting in front of a caravan with no information attached to it, which prompts Stride to embark on an investigation to find out who is in said photograph, also serving as an excuse to get away from his irritable wife.  Besides the couple's painfully unhealthy report with each other and Stride's insufferable disposition, the only other unsettling events are the bookending ones, as the story opens with a shot of Stride wide-eyed on his back with his mouth open, an image that explains itself in the ominous finale.  It may have too little and sudden of a payoff for some viewers, but it presents domestic turbulence in a refreshingly stark manner that makes the enigmatic conclusion land with a well-earned amount of weight.

 

VAMPIRES
(1979)
Dir - John Goldschmidt
Overall: GOOD

 

Though it is equipped with a curious ending that seems to miss its mark, Play for Today's 1979 installment Vampires is otherwise another subdued and interesting one that subverts whatever expectations the title may suggest.  Contemporary set, it follows three young boys going about their days in dreary Liverpool after they become enchanted by the undead when they catch Hammer's Dracula: Prince of Darkness on television during an unsupervised evening.  This sets the stage for an upbringing where parents are largely out of the picture, allowing the boy's fantasies to run rampant when they become convinced that a local fellow who works at a graveyard is indeed a blood-sucker.  Director John Goldschmidt's presentation is in keeping with other's from the program, meaning that there is no incidental music and whatever humor is present is played calmly enough to be undetectable.  It is far from a miserable watch though, showcasing the power of children's imaginations when said children are surrounded by few prospects and take whatever educational mentoring that they receive from school for granted.  The finale moment works only if one looks at it as just a more pronounced visual depiction of the children's spiral into otherworldly fancy.  If taken at face value though, it jives incorrectly with the previously established themes.

Beasts - TV Series

SPECIAL OFFER

(1976)

Dir - Richard Bramall

Overall: GOOD

 

The first episode in Nigel Kneale's one-off anthology series Beasts sets the template where some supernatural form manifests itself into a physical presence, this one terrorizing a local convenient store.  Save for some of the characters taking a quick jaunt across the street to a coffee shop, "Special Offer" takes place entirely in one location, all filmed in studio as was the common practice for BBC and ITV programs at the time, this one being produced by the latter.  Pauline Quirke is the unfortunate protagonist who is bullied by her brutish boss Geoffrey Bateman, to the point where poltergeist activity gradually ramps up in the form of the store's cartoon mascot that remains unseen throughout.  It gradually becomes obvious who is the culprit of such activity, and Quirke turns in a wonderful performance as a homely and emotionally stilted young woman who crumbles under the endless scrutiny that she suffers, channeling her feelings to the one man who treats her the worst.  The presentation gets repetitive after awhile and there are some minor plausibility issues, (Why does such a tiny convenient story have upwards of six employees working there at a single time?), but it is still an interesting and unsettling character study.

 

DURING BARTY'S PARTY

(1976)

Dir - Don Taylor

Overall: MEH

 

On paper, Beasts' second installment "During Barty's Party" serves as Night of the Living Dead with rats, but the problem is that the threat of hyper-intelligent rodents terrorizing a middle aged couple in their home is poorly conveyed.  Up until the closing moments when the lights go out, the neighbors are attacked, the doors started getting poked through, and the furniture starts shaking, the only inkling that we get of a problem comes in the form of the gradual squeaking and the over-the-top performances of Elizabeth Sellars and Anthony Bate.  Sellars in particular is overwrought from the opening scene, and even when her husband comes home and the two argue with each other for half of the episode, never once do they just leave, call an exterminator, or even the police.  Instead, they wail away melodramatically and phone-in to a radio program for help, all the while the rats stay off camera and continue to just make a lot of noise.  Our lone duo of on-screen actors certainly try to sell the life or death scenario, but it all comes off as silly since the less-is-more approach proves ill-suited for Nigel Kneale's psychologically-wrought material.

 

BUDDYBOY

(1976)

Dir - Don Taylor

Overall: MEH

 

If anything else, Nigel Kneale deserves credit for originality since his Beasts installment "Buddyboy" has got to be the only work in psychological horror about the lingering spirit of a dolphin that drives people to be either terrified or detrimentally melancholic.  As one could guess, this is a difficult tale to wrap one's head around.  We hear various stories pertaining to the aquatic mammal of the title that was once the prized attraction of an aquarium, some told in loving revere and some also told in loving revere yet immediately followed by panicked outbursts.  This brings us to Wolfe Morris' bizarre performance as a man who is desperate to sell his now derelict dolphinarium, haunted by some unspecific detail or details about good ole Buddyboy that we are never properly given.  At the same time, one of his former employees has turned squatter and partakes of long musings about her old dolphin friend, leading her to do something in the abrupt finale that does not add up.  Then Martin Shaw plays a scumbag nightclub owner throughout the entire ordeal who is probably left just as confused as the viewer is by story's end.

 

BABY

(1976)

Dir - John Nelson-Burton

Overall: MEH

 

Teasing at folk and explicitly leaning into psychological horror, "Baby" spends the duration of its running time posing questions and then frustratingly never answering them, much to the chagrin and turmoil of Jane Wymark's pregnant protagonist.  It takes place in an undisclosed location out in the country where Wymark and her obnoxious, self-centered, and dramatic husband discover a mummified "thing" in a clay pot behind one of the walls.  We are not told what the creature is and neither are the characters, setting up an ideal situation along with all of the other petty domestic drama for Wymark to crack at the seems.  Since little happens as far as moving the plot along, (not to mention would-be supernatural sequences that are sparse at best), director John Nelson-Burton has no choice but to adhere to a talky approach, presenting a never-ending slew of rowdy and unlikable characters to prattle on about things as we and Wymark just want to know what if any otherworldly forces are at work.  The closing scene is creepy and well-executed, but it is also the only such scene done in this manner, and the whole thing wraps up on a "Wait, that's it?" feeling that fails to impress.

 

WHAT BIG EYES

(1976)

Dir - Donald McWhinnie

Overall: GOOD

 

As was writer Nigel Kneale's modus operanti for the ITV Beasts program, "What Big Eyes" examines the psychological effects of its subject matter instead of any overt horror ones.  For this round it is lycanthropy, particularly what happens to an eccentric scientist who dedicates his adult life, (and more devastatingly, the entire life of his only daughter who he subjugates to his every whim), to the pursuit of proving that man can transform into an animal.  Ideally cast, Patrick Magee portrays such a kooky fellow, one whose abusive and short-tempered nature mirrors the type of experiments that he has been doing on wolves for years.  Kneale's teleplay teases at the success rate or lack-thereof that Magee's experiments have had, both his outbursts and subtle mannerisms either alluding to the fact that he is onto something or has merely succumbed to full-on madness.  Perhaps the line between the two is thinner than we imagine, and Magee's penchant for scenery-chewing was rarely better suited to the material than here.  On that note, Madge Ryan delivers just as much of a heightened performances as Magee's meek daughter, especially during the finale when she gets to let out decades of pent-up emotional distress.

 

THE DUMMY

(1976)

Dir - Don Leaver

Overall: GOOD

 

Arguably the finest of the bunch, "The Dummy" closes out ITV's short-lived Beasts series with a singular premise, namely "What would happen if a guy in a rubber monster suit went bonkers while in said rubber monster suit?".  It fits the concept of the anthology program where Nigel Kneale examines emotional anguish within a framework that loosely has to do with bestial horror, this one stretching that concept as much if not more than the other five installments that proceeded it.  The cast is made up of several recognizable faces to anyone who has watched small or big screen British productions from the time period, Bernard Horsfall in particular being one of the most regularly featured actors on Doctor Who.  Here he portrays the title "beast", a thespian whose biggest claim to fame is being inside of the monster suit for a slew of silly English kaiju B-movies.  During the shooting for the latest of them, Horsfall suffers an emotional breakdown since producers made the asinine mistake of casting the same man who stole his wife and child away from him as his costar.  Broken into two parts as was every episode of the show, the first half takes its time establishing Horsfall's devastated mental state, how it got there, and how the other characters play into it.  The second half is when the gloves fly off though, and it presents a scenario that looks like and should be ridiculous, yet somehow comes off as tragic and nuanced instead.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Four

DEMON IN LACE

(1975)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

Taking the loose concept of a succubus, (basically only adhering to the idea that its form is that of a female), "Demon in Lace" boasts its fair share of recognizable guest stars, including Andrew Prine, Carolyn Jones, and Jackie Vernon.  Premise wise, a malevolent entity is connected to an unearthed Mesopotamian tablet, said entity taking the form of recently deceased women so that it can attract and then murder any men who fall under her spell.  As far as the internal INS drama is concerned, editor boss Tony Vincenzo is as fed up as always and toys with the idea of edging his newspaper to a more glass half full agenda, which of course clashes with Kolchak's knack for reporting on brutal deaths via supernatural means.  Not that his stories ever get printed to the public anyway.  Some of the death scenes are creepily staged, (with gnarly makeup appearing when the succubus reveals its true form), Keenan Wyn shows back up as Kolchak's law enforcement nemesis, and our title character gets a little help from an aspiring college reporter, providing him with a would-be sidekick that would have been a fun avenue to explore had the program lasted longer than a lone season.

 

LEGACY OF TERROR

(1975)

Dir - Don McDougall

Overall: GOOD

 

Two years before becoming a household name on CHiPs, Erik Estrada popped up in the Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode "Legacy of Terror" as the final victim, (and only willing one), as part of a ritualistic Aztec sacrifice that is performed every fifty-two years, all in purpose of prolonging the power of a mummified priest whose cult is still alive and well.  For its "monster of the week" formula, the show would frequently venture into the mythology of various cultures to cherry pick some supernatural opponents for Carl Kolchak to go up against, and this one fulfills the south of the border quota.  The death scenes are particularly aggressive here, with feathered cultists bursting at full speed upon their prey while one of them ominously plays the flute.  Often times the closing showdown for the program was a highlight and this is no exception, with Darren McGavin slowly creeping around an eerily quiet stadium until he manages to talk Estrada out of his fate, at which point the mummy itself starts swinging a machete until it and his followers mysteriously disappear of course.

 

THE KNIGHTLY MURDERS

(1975)

Dir - Vincent McEveety

Overall: MEH

 

An animated suit of armor can be creepy in the right context, and there is indeed a sequence in Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "The Knightly Murders" that ranks as a suspenseful one where our medieval-clad pursuer smashes through a bedroom and bathroom door Jack Torrance style after Darren McGavin faintly hears the clanging of its armor coming down the hallway.  Prolific character actor John Dehner's police captain is easily the most Kolchak friendly in the entire series, actually sitting down and theorizing with our hero instead of foaming at the mouth, smashing his camera, and threatening to throw him in a cell for asking silly questions that imply impossible otherworldly events.  Aside from that, the episode follows the usual pattern for better or worse, with some investigating on Kolchak's part that relies on conman antics, some playful and annoyed banter between he and Tony Vincenzo, and a climax where McGavin once again stands alone against the supernatural force at play, wielding a giant museum piece axe that seems to weigh more than he does.

 

THE YOUTH KILLER

(1975)

Dir - Don McDougall

Overall: GOOD

 

For the penultimate Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode "The Youth Killer", our title reporter who never changes his outfit in order for the production to save money on costuming, (presumably), uncovers a mystery where the ancient Greek goddess Hecate is living in a swanky area of Chicago of all places, also running a singles hookup site of all things.  It is all part of a scheme of course, one that involves giving new members a ring that they cannot take off, a ring that somehow grants Hecate the power to drain its wearer of youth, thus granting her a few more days to enjoy her human form sans heavy wrinkles under the eyes.  This vibrancy-draining premise allows for a few fun set pieces where people are exercising or on their way to a date, only to grow old and drop dead before our eyes.  Conveniently, Tony Vincenzo is all about getting healthy himself, happy to have lost five pounds that none of his newspaper staff notices.  Also dropping in is Kathleen Freeman who runs a separate dating operation, but the nifty premise and Kolchak trying to get one of the rings off his finger by way of mayonnaise from a cab driver who happens to be an expert on Greek mythology all makes this a cromulent note to almost go out on.

 

THE SENTRY

(1975)

Dir - Seymour Robbie

Overall: MEH

 

Kolchak: The Night Stalker goes full Doctor Who monster with its final episode "The Sentry".  Director Seymour Robbie and cinematographer Ronald W. Browne had the good sense to have the title creature smash most light sources when it aggressively bursts into rooms, thus making it possible to shoot the thing in relative darkness and with quick cuts in order to disguise how silly and unconvincing it looks.  Despite the fact that an upright reptilian may have been beyond the means of the small screen production, the rest of the program gets by with the usual motifs.  For the first time, a woman is in charge of the police force that Darren McGavin butts heads against, played by Kathie Brown as someone who admits to liking our reporter hero in need of a wardrobe change, but she eventually grows just as frustrated with him as all previous law enforcement officials were.  Tom Bosley pops up in a few scenes as a guest star, and Simon Oakland gets his prerequisite amount of comic relief moments, but the rest of the INS crew had long been left by the wayside at this point, including Jack Grinnage's Ron Updyke who had practically vanished from the program several installments earlier.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Three

HORROR IN THE HEIGHTS

(1974)

Dir - Michael T. Caffey

Overall: GOOD

 

A clever melding of a malevolent entity from Hindu folklore that finds itself in the middle of Chicago's Jewish district, (all of which draws attention to the often marginalized elderly who are stuck in less than agreeable neighborhoods due to their poor financial states), "Horror in the Heights" works better than even the most agreeable episodes in the program.  There are no official meetings between the press and the police to provide Carl Kolchak the chance to get on their nerves, but he still manages to annoy the foremost expert in Eastern legends, as well as his usual knack for driving his editor Tony Vincenzo up the wall with his inability to keep a low profile and follow assignments.  The demonic creature is a creepy one, probing the psyche of its victims and appearing as someone that they trust in order to get close and crush them with a bear hug.  We also get a history lesson on the swastika's non-Nazi origins and a humorous scene where Darren McGavin eats beef curry in an empty Indian restaurant while his Jewish waiter warns him that the abdominal pain should kick in at any moment.

 

MR. R.I.N.G.

(1975)

Dir - Gene Levitt

Overall: MEH

 

Some sci-fi is reintroduced in Kolchak: The Night Stalker for "Mr. R.I.N.G.", the second of three stories for the series that was authored by L. Ford Neale and John Huff.  This time our title character finds himself slowly uncovering a military project that produced a sentient android that escapes, steals a mask, and then also steals some mortuary makeup to crudely cover that mask in a misguided attempt to appear more human.  These themes of an artificial intelligence trying to integrate itself are not explored as much as the concept of just having it terrorize the Chicago suburbs, exhibiting superhuman strength when up against the police and anyone that gets in its way.  Thankfully Julie Adams gets an easy paycheck in two scenes as a bitter and alcohol-pickled widow to the scientist that serves as the title robot's first victim, though her character provides little to the story besides adding a few minutes to the running time.  Said android looks unsettling enough in its various forms, plus Darren McGavin and Simon Oakland have the usual quota of funny scenes together, but the premise is not one of the show's strongest.

 

PRIMAL SCREAM

(1975)

Dir - Robert Sheerer

Overall: MEH

 

One could accuse "Primal Scream" as an example of Kolchak: The Night Stalker scrapping the barrel, running out of traditional monsters to use and instead going with an ape-man the spawns from some recovered Arctic cell samples, because you gotta go with something.  The opening scene recalls Ken Russell's Altered States where the primordial savage bursts through a laboratory and runs amok, but in place of any trippy and/or frantic set pieces, the story instead settles into its usual algorithm of Darren McGavin sneaking around, annoying officials, and going up against the threat single-handedly until the frustrated police catch up to him.  In other words, it is a combination of a less than interesting premise fitted into the show's steadfast formula, making for a watch that is far from bad yet also not as memorable as other entries.  At least John Marley gets to the play the police chief this time who is up to here with Kolchak's mischief, and also M*A*S*H's Jamie Farr shows up as a character named Jack Burton, not be be confused with that of Kurt Russell's best role in Big Trouble in Little China.

 

THE TREVI COLLECTION

(1975)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

Organized crime, fashion industry politics, witchcraft, animated mannequins, and poltergeist activity all join forces in "The Trevi Collection", a Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode that gets by on its desperate combination of elements.  Dark Shadow's Lara Parker hams it up to eleven as a black magik practicing model with grand ambitions, turning in a performances that could be seen as ruining if not for the overall silly nature of the material.  In other words, it makes sense in this context to have Parker thrashing about wide-eyed while covered in blue paint and sores on a street while Kolchak publicly accuses her of witchcraft to a bewildered crowd in order to strip her of her power.  The police stay out of it more than usual as our title character follows leads on his lonesome and figures out what is happening, including why the mob is after him and why he has become a target of malevolent influence.  One of the show's campier installments, a goofy black mass and the aforementioned mannequins coming to life provide some fun set pieces as well.

 

CHOPPER

(1975)

Dir - Bruce Kessler

Overall: GOOD

 

A sword-wielding headless biker comes back from the grave in Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "Chopper"; another episode of the program with a silly premise that leans into its camp appeal.  Notable for a young Robert Zemeckis receiving story credit, several moments are played for laughs, particularly those that revolve around an over-acting Sharon Farrell who plays the widow of one of the biker's victims.  Farrell wails away at a funeral and when packing her bags to get the hell outta Dodge when the bodies start piling up, meanwhile Vincenzo deals with an ulcer, and a new hotheaded police captain is having even less of Kolchak's shit than most of them do.  There is little to distinguish this one from the lot of them as it follows the same path of Darren McGavin getting to the bottom of the unbelievable events by way of shrewd journalism tactics, usually either lying or schmoozing his way into restricted areas to interview who he needs to interview.  The killer motorcycle ghost looks ridiculous of course since there is no other way to pull it off on screen than to have an actor with an elongated torso, but there are enough amusing details in the script to keep it cruising along.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Two

FIREFALL

(1974)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

One of four Kolchak: The Night Stalker episodes to be removed from its original syndication run so that it could be combined with others to form two more television movies with new scenes and narration added to link them, (long story), "Firefall" thankfully stands on its own in its initial solo form.  Scripted by Bill S. Ballinger, the premise is void of most familiar trappings, concerning a ghost that tries to take over a famed conductor via becoming his doppelgänger, spontaneously and instantaneously being able to char people's bodies to death, and doing so whenever his victims get some shuteye ,which warrants Darren McGavin trying to stay awake for several days straight once he ends up on the baddie's hit list.  The supernatural rules are loosey-goosey at best, (one would-be doomed character is able to take a nap in a church while his ghostly pursuer just grins at him from the windows), but the guest and regular cast do their usual charming work, plus the horror bits are as well executed as ever.

 

THE DEVIL'S PLATFORM

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

Beating Richard Donner's The Omen to the whole "Raising through the ranks of political office via Satanic means" gag by two years, "The Devil's Platform" is a Kolchak: The Night Stalker stand-out for several reasons.  For one, the usual and occasionally tired practice of having Darren McGavin square-off against police detectives who are having none of his tomfoolery is finally given a break, though he and editor/boss Simon Oakland still have their moments of raising each other's blood pressures.  This is hardly an issue though since the two main player's chemistry with each other was always hilarious and goes back to the original two television movies that spawned the series.  Ruth McDevitt had appeared on the program as another character before, but this marks her first official appearance as INS's columnist, adding yet another fun addition to the small newspaper crew ensemble.  It is the concept of Tom Skerritt making a deal with the Devil though, (and turning into a ruthless rottweiler with a pentagram necklace on), that is the most memorable.  Strange, creepy, and playing into the era's goofy occult obsession, it has as much to offer as can be expected.

 

BAD MEDICINE

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall: GOOD

 

Not the most culturally sensitive of mid 70s television with 7'2", (and Caucasian), Richard Kiel portraying an evil Native American Diablero shaman spirit who is after rich old people's diamonds, "Bad Medicine" still ends up being another textbook solid installment of Kolchak: The Night Stalker.  Victor Jory also appears in redface, though he is only granted one scene to deliver the expository dialog necessary to cue Darren McGavin in on the specifics of how to defeat this week's evil doer.  Besides such common casting practices of the time, (as well as the fact that L. Ford Neale and John Huff utilize some stereotyped motifs to fuse quasi-Native folklore into a menace), the episode is loaded with interesting and atmospheric set pieces.  Kiel is able to transform into a coyote and a crow depending, and the title character's stand-off against him at the top of a forty foot building is a high point for the program, benefited from the suspenseful ambience that the show's closing moments often had, as well as some eerie chanting to make up for the fact that the Diablero is bested by silly means.

 

THE SPANISH MOSS MURDERS

(1974)

Dir - Gordon Hessler

Overall: GOOD

 

As far as monsters of the week go, Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "The Spanish Moss Murders" features one of the program's more unique, a Cajun boogieman that springs to life once a guy undergoes a six week-long sleep experiment where he is not allowed to dream.  This Père Malfait creature, (roughly translated to "father of mischief"), is poorly realized, looking like nothing more than a tall actor in some blankets with moss haphazardly thrown around it.  The thing, (or actor portraying the thing), also grunts around in an unintentionally silly manner, but as was the show's M.O., the scary bits are played straight with plenty of bodies pilled up to keep the stakes high.  Keenan Wynn makes his first of only two appearances as this week's law enforcement official who Kolchak pushes to a breaking point, which is a shame since he is the most amusing of the lot, working on centering his zen in group therapy only for Darren McGavin to undue all of his noble efforts with his overstepping, aggressive questioning, and wildly accurate supernatural accusations.

 

THE ENERGY EATER

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall: MEH

 

Tweaking that ole motif of a haunted house being built on an ancient Indian burial ground, "The Energy Eater" instead has a hospital being built on a place where a fictional Native American bear god called Matchemonedo has slumbered for centuries.  Of course now is the time for said entity to arise and drain the facility of power in order to reclaim its former glory, remaining invisible, (aside from some x-rays which miraculously produce a close up of one of it's eyes), as it destroys the building's foundation and leaves a train of bodies in its wake.  To help our determined title character crack the case, William Smith appears as an indigenous construction foreman who is about as Native American as Queen Elizabeth, but such white-washing aside, his character provides that rarest of moments where Kolchak is able to go up to the people in charge with a willing witness at his side who backs all the supernatural bologna that he claims.  In fact several characters accept the otherworldly scenario here, differentiating this from the usual shtick of Darren McGavin having no allies on his lone quest.  It is not as atmospheric or fetching as other episodes of the program, (and it has an anticlimactic ending), but it is still far from a waste.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part One

THE RIPPER

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

The first installment "The Ripper" in Kolckak: The Night Stalker, (simply dubbed The Night Stalker for the opening four episodes), is an enjoyable romp, but it is also a carbon copy of the initial film from 1972.  Instead of facing up against a vampire who murders women at night and is seemingly indestructible in the face of police fire power, the culprit here is seemingly Jack the Ripper himself.  Carl Kolchak annoys both his editor Tony Vincenzo and the cops by taking photos at the scenes, drilling them with questions, and presenting evidence that what they are up against is an immortal fiend, getting his story squashed by the authorities in the end after confronting the bad guy in his own home in an eerie, suspenseful set piece.  The lack of differentiating qualities between this and the two television films that proceeded it, (and proved successful enough to warrant the series being greenlit in the first place), is the only thing that makes it a subpar watch.  For those who do not mind and crave a shot for shot remake of The Night Stalker though, this delivers exactly that.

 

THE ZOMBIE

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall:GOOD

 

Supporting players Carol Ann Susi and John Fielder are introduced in "The Zombie"; Kolchak: The Night Stalker's sophomore episode.  Susi is the schlubby niece of one of the newspaper's bigwigs who has aspirations of becoming a reporter despite Kolchak's knack for dismissing and ditching her in the field, while Fielder plays the soft-spoken coroner who divvies out sensitive information on the recently deceased when you throw him some twenty dollar bills.  The structure is still adhered to where our raffia hat-wearing title character irks authorities with his factually correct deductions about the supernatural tomfoolery that is afoot, tracking down a voodoo practitioner who has resurrected the body of her grandson in order to hunt down the undesirables that contributed to his murder.  Mobsters also get involved, (which means that Joseph Sirola and Antonio Fargas get to show up), and even Scatman Crothers gets a scene while utilizing a Haitian accent.  Not one of the most atmospheric installments on the program, but Darren McGavin's charisma still effortlessly wins through.

 

THEY HAVE BEEN, THEY ARE, THEY WILL BE...

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: MEH

 

Soldiering on with the monster of the week framework that the show helped popularize, Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be..." actually does not feature any monsters in the traditional sense.  Instead, it finds a roundabout way to use extraterrestrials, invisible ones at that who suck the bone marrow out of animals at the zoo, are drawn to electrical devices, are able to make walls explode soundlessly, are also able to make tons of lead ingots disappear, and are somehow distracted by intense lights when the plot needs them to be.  The details are wacky and do not add up in any plausible sense, but the story has the usual strengths and weaknesses for the program.  As the head police officer who refuses to believe anything that our title character says even when he witnesses it with his own eyes, James Gregory seems drunk in most of his scenes, slurring his dialog more than usual.  Len Lesser and Dick Van Patten are also on board as supporting players, and Kolchak comes to his conclusions in as compact a manner as possible.  Unfortunately the story is not as interesting as others, plus the ending is anticlimactic.

 

THE VAMPIRE

(1974)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD 

 

In the apply titled "The Vampire", Carl Kolchak goes up against the undead only two years after he did so in the initial The Night Stalker TV movie, the tweak being that the blood-sucker here is a woman instead of Barry Atwater's super-powered immortal.  Our delightful tittle character is as oblivious as ever as to how insane he sounds when pleading his case to disinterested and furious law enforcement officials, (William Daniels guesting as the irked lieutenant for this round), going on and on about how strong vampires are and the means by which they need to be defeated.  Though she has little if any dialog, Suzanne Charny still manages to chew the scenery as the vamp baddie, mugging with fangs in tow as she hurls herself at her victims, wrestling them to the ground, and making wild animal noises.  The location is switched from Chicago to Los Angeles, (though the program was set in the former, it was almost entirely shot in the latter), but it is still the identical formula at play once again.  It fails to compete with the aforementioned 1972 film that had only a slight variation of the same plot, but the side angle of Kolchak trying to hoodwink Vincenzo over the phone with an electric shaver and a real estate agent typing up his faux articles for him is a hoot.

 

THE WEREWOLF

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

Airing a month after an episode where a vampire made goofy noises while lunging at people, "The Werewolf" has a werewolf making goofy noises while lunging at people.  Set on a luxury cruise ship where swinging singles get to co-mingle with each other, our trusted narrator and title character is sent there instead of his boss Tony Vincenzo who was originally planning a vacation yet gets stuck in the Windy City during a blistering winter for auditing purposes.  David Chase and Paul Playdon's plot still manages to throw in an authority figure for Kolchak to endlessly annoy, the ship's no nonsense captain in this case being portrayed by character actor Henry Jones.  Though the show had yet to shake its cut-and-paste structure, and the title lycanthrope does not have the most convincing makeup job applied to him, the new scenery is appreciated, plus there are some intense set pieces scattered about.  As usual, the supporting cast have their own charisma to go against Darren McGavin, save for Eric Braeden who turns in a fitting if downer performances as the ill-tempered man who goes full beast when the full moon rises.  Why he chose to hop on a yacht full of people to attack while simultaneously trying to cure himself is never explained.