Dir - Narciso Ibáñez Serrador
“Talk to her mother”
This was a surprising little “discovery” I made just recently, Mexican filmmaker Guillermo del Toro naming it one of his favorite horror movies in a recent issue of Maxim of all magazines, (his other choices btw were likewise excellent). An Italian produced “boarding house” film shot and mostly dubbed in English, La Residencia, (or The House That Screamed as it was released in America), is somewhat of a low-key giallo affair for the bulk of it. The death scenes are few and far between, but brilliantly shot, in a slow, deliberately dream like manner. The girls who attend the French boarding school where the film takes place are occasionally treated to some rather nasty torment, both by students and Lili Palmer’s Headmistress Señora Fourneau alike, but again, this is all shown sparingly. Though my one complaint can be in the biggest non-nude coup-out shower scene in film history, all is forgiven with one of the finest “twist” endings I have ever fell for.
Dir - Stuart Gordon
Zombie Science 101
I oddly did not get around to finally seeing Re-Animator until research for this list was underway, though I have obviously been aware of it for some time. No excuse as usual. As a comedic horror film, this one succeeds like few others. Right from the get-go we are treated to a gore and puss-filled death scene, and things only get sillier, gorier, and pussier as the movie goes on. Emphasis on the “sillier”. Jeffery Combs' deadly serious portrayal of the obsessively creepy Herbert West is stupendous fun, made more so by the amount of ridiculousness the whole film has. The “holy shit, they went there?” sex scene and gutstastic final showdown in the morgue had me laughing out loud, as did most of the film, especially as they kept pumping more and more glow juice into everyone. Stuff like Peter Jackson’s Braindead would later take the spatter comedy approach to unreachable heights, but there is still plenty to be equally appalled and amused by here.
Dir - Konstantin Yershov/Georgi Kropachyov
Stay inside that sacred circle
The first Soviet-era horror film produced in the USSR, I heard about this one from a list of “20 Greatest Horror Films You’ve Never Seen”. Much of the movie has a deliberately comedic tone to it, mostly stemming from watching our booze-loving monk-in-training, (Lionid Kuravlev), stumble around in a drunken stupor, and there are indeed some enjoyably funny moments in the first half. Once the beautiful Natalya Varley starts working her witchy ways though, the fun really starts and produces some of the most visually exciting horror I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. I would recommend not looking up any stills or anything from the film before viewing it, (though I guess I just blew that with the picture above, doh!), as I was pleasantly surprised by the wonderfully ghoulish climax. Viy is based on an 1835 short story by Russian writer Nikolai Gogol and supposedly sticks pretty close to it, though I have yet to read it myself. There is also a 1990 Serbian version of the film as well as a remake that just came out this year, neither of which intrigues me too greatly, (we will just have to see once the reviews come in on the latter).
Dir - Rob Zombie
"I am here to do the Devil's work."
From a purely statistical standpoint, Rob Zombie may be the worst filmmaker on this list. Now maybe it is not his chops behind the lens that are particularly awful, but three of his four films most certainly are. After the eye-brow raising House of 1,000 Texas Chainsaw Massacres debacle, expectations were otherworldly low for his next opus. Then the one-two diarrhea-fest that was his Halloween “interpretations” that followed makes The Devil’s Rejects stand-out all the more. The film is far from just surprisingly not-terrible; it is actually quite excellent. For whatever reason, Zombie’s ultra-gritty, gory-as-fuck, white-trash fueled vision jives perfectly with the material here. All the major characters, (each a sadistically evil serial killer), gets ample, scenery-chewing screen time. Even the ever present Miss Sherri Moon, (who I actually do not think is as acting-challenged as most people), does an admirable job. I really do want to root for Rob Zombie the filmmaker, (I mean the man was in White Zombie for fucks sake), but as it stands at this typing, Rejects is the only quality film he has got to offer. C’mon Rob, surprise me!
Dir - Robert Wiene
Cesare sleep now
Few if any horror movies can lay claim to being as influential as the German Expressionist classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Pre-WWII German cinema, 1940s film noir, and all future tales of the macabre can stand on its shoulders. Shit, even the “twist-ending” was born here, (in cinematic form at least). The film’s cartoonishly nightmarish sets are still unequaled all these years later and in both Cesare the Somnambulist and the title character, we have two of the horror film’s most iconic and enduring creations. Though movies do not generally scare me at least, I know of at least two people who were terrified at the proceedings here. Though maybe they just do not like skinny emo guys who open their eyes really wide, in which case, who does? Caligari is more critically lauded than perhaps any movie on this list, but do not let that deter the uninitiated film snob out there who has yet to see it. It is as much the sinisterly artful masterpiece that everyone says it is, and at just over an hour long, there are surely worse things you could do with your time.
Dir - Jack Hill
"It's not nice to be mean"
This is one of the earliest outings from schlock master Jack Hill, (Foxy Brown and Coffy), and though not all together frightening, is still wickedly entertaining. Made for about $65,000 back in 1964, it did not get released until four years later and disappeared for decades afterwards. It eventually went the way of countless other low budget exploitation gems by becoming a “cult classic”. It is notable for containing probably the last memorable performance from the once-great Lon Chaney Jr., (sadly washed-up at the time but who supposedly sobered-up during the film’s twelve day production at least), and one of the earliest performances from Hill and eventual Rob Zombie regular Sid Haig. A black comedy as well as a horror film, Spider Baby has some intentional laughs, (like that great opening theme song, “sung” by Chaney himself), to go along with some bizarre, somewhat disturbing imagery and subject matter like inbreeding, retardation, and cannibalism. Nothing gets too heavy though and the film has oodles of fun, gruesome moments, least of which is one of the better horror movie dinner scenes ever.
Dir - Georges Franju
Damn right Billy Idol power ballad
Properly described by director Georges Franju as an “anguish” film as opposed to a horror film, Eyes Without A Face delves far more into the inner turmoil of its characters than the terror surrounding them. It is a moody end result, unfolding slowly without any mystery, and nevertheless delivering some successfully unnerving moments. Christiane’s featureless mask is undoubtedly creepy and our one look at her disfigured face underneath is more blurred than graphic, (sans the eyes), making it all the more unsettling. Also, the surgery scene that seems to go on for ages is still plenty shocking. These are the money shots for the horror fanatic, but far more is alluded to in the film than shown, with the ole “less is more” approach working wonders. It was done to avoid heavy censoring, (animal torture, blood and guts, and mad-scientist elements all had to be dramatically trimmed down from the original story or omitted all together), but this is a rare example where studio restrictions actually produced a far more satisfying work than what an all-out, exploitative gore-fest would have given us.
Dir - Ubaldo Ragona/Sidney Salkow
"You're freaks! I'm a man...the last man!"
I have six Vincent Price features on this list and this is the first, (or is that last?). A low-budget, Italian made production of the Richard Matheson novel “I Am Legend”, The Last Man On Earth was the first of three adaptations of the book and for my money, also the best. Vincent Price is my favorite actor and as well as being the lead, he is also the sole person on screen for most of the time. So clearly, they could have done a worse job casting wise. Some could complain that the film's villains seem to pose as much of a threat as a glass of orange juice, but hair-raising terror is hardly the goal here. The utter loneliness and hopelessly monotonous every-day existence of Price’s last man Robert Morgan is really what the film is all about, as he has long given up on a cure for the world’s remaining inhabitants and is simply going through the motions of staying alive. Hardly sounds like the stuff of horror legend, (pardon the pun), but throw in some groaning vampires and fire pits loaded with infected humans and you got yourself a horror film to be sure. The 1971 Charlton Heston version Omega Man is also badass, but the few terribly CGI infested scenes I have seen in Will Smith’s I Am Legend was enough to keep me away. I will take slow moving vampire zombies over distracting cartoons any day of the week thank you.
Dir - Brian Yuzna
Do these guys know how to party or what?
I never heard of this movie nor met anyone else who had before I saw it on the Time Out list. After watching it, this makes perfect sense since anyone I have ever met who had seen it would have certainly mentioned it to me at some point by now. It is very difficult, (make that impossible), to go into much here without discussing the ending. The only thing I can really say about the film to the uninitiated is “stay with it”. From the opening scene, one can easily get the impression that you are about to watch a MST3K-worthy, late-night USA network crapfest. Yet despite the film’s terribly dated look and perhaps unintentionally eye-brow raising moments, (what the fuck is with the Clarissa’s mother anyway?), there was a strange mystery unfolding here that I could not help but be intrigued by. So when the big reveal hits, well, there really are no words. Except maybe “Jesus tap dancing Christ, what the fuck did I just watch?”
Dir - Drew Goddard
"I am never gonna see a merman ever."
I proudly fall into that “everything Joss Whedon does is brilliant” demographic, so news of his involvement in a horror movie I knew absolutely nothing else about at the time was enough to get me rushing to the theater. Whedon’s frequent partner in crime Drew Goddard, (who also wins brownie points from me for his work on one of the greatest television show of all time, Lost), directed and co-wrote this excellent parody of horror movie clichés, and I thoroughly enjoyed it as much as I am sure they enjoyed making it. Whedon’s best work on both Buffy and Angel usually never went full-on into either comedy or horror, (he is very much a kindred spirit to the great John Landis in that regard), and that is still very much the case here. Though it is pretty clear from the first scene that something different that what we are used to is definitely going on. I for one took the plunge and followed this increasingly over-the-top premise to the bitter end. The more ridiculous that shit got, the more I dug it and I can only hope that these fine upstanding filmmakers will keep treating us to gems like this in the years to come.
