Dir - Ben Wheatley
"Do they know who you are?"
That whole “not knowing anything about a movie before seeing it” thing I mentioned in the forward has probably never produced a more satisfying result for me than last year’s Kill List. My brother told me to watch it and not a word else was spoken before I did just that. I did not look up a single thread of information about it before I did so and only had a sneaking suspicion that it was a horror movie in the first place. With fly-on-the-wall direction, (lots of hand held camera work, ala documentary style), the film unfolds like a low-key, gripping crime drama, with both intense and humorous moments here and there. Something odd is happening though; some sinister underlining. The words “thank you” have never been more chilling or absorbing. When the title hit at the end and the credits rolled, a type of excitement I rarely experience yet am always looking for overcame me. As everything slowly began to sink in, all I could think was, “Holy fuck, that was brilliant!”. I can really give no further details as such ignorance going into the film was paramount in my enjoyment of it. The only other thing I can say is what my brother did; everyone needs to see this like now.
9. THE THING (1982)
Dir - John Carpenter
"I know I'm human"
I have no excuse whatsoever to only having experienced John Carpenter’s The Thing for the first time all the way through only just this year. I mean, I love John Carpenter, I love Kurt Russell, and I love monster movies. What the fuck? Now that I have though, rest assured, it is great. Like great, great. Like seriously one of the best movies ever made great. Halloween understandably gets the honor of Carpenter’s best film in most circles, but I, (and the Time Out film pole both), have to give that title to The Thing. I mean, I am still quite partial to Big Trouble In Little China, but I digress. Everything about this movie whoops-ass, from the utterly desolate setting, to Rob Bottin’s phenomenal make-up and creature effects, to the excellent though rarely-not-penned-by-Carpenter-himself score, and finally to the ambiguous ending. Most of all though, the increasing tension is brilliantly paced as each of the Antarctic team members grows unbearably paranoid which peaks in that utterly memorable blood testing scene. Stupendous stuff I say.
8. SUSPIRIA (1977)
Dir - Dario Argento
Rise of the Mother's Three
I got into Dario Argento somewhat late in the game, (early twenties, at least “late” for a horror buff such as I). In a pretty short amount of time though, I had gone and seen all of his films up to that date. The one I started with was Suspiria and there can be no denying that this is the man’s masterpiece. I pretty much made up my mind I was an Argento fan about twenty seconds into this movie. The bright colors and surreal camera work and narrative coupled with the man’s usual flair for outlandishly gory death sequences find the perfect tone here. The film is as beautiful looking as it is gruesome. That said, we cannot by any means forget the best score ever composed for a horror film. Goblin’s soundtrack is actually my favorite movie soundtrack ever and rarely has the music complimented a film as flawlessly as it does here. A wonderful silver lining is that a Suspiria remake was in development hell for some time before the gods intervened apparently and stopped it from happening. It would make as much sense and go over about as well as a Godfather remake so low and behold, justice has been served. For now.
7. JACOB'S LADDER (1990)
Dir - Adrian Lyne
"Something weird is going on here"
A head-trip of epic proportions, Jacob's Ladder threw me for a mighty loop the first time I saw it several years back. I have since been able to make “sense” of it just fine but man, what a spine-chilling ride it all is. This is the only movie at all like this in Adrian Lyne’s filmography, who has dealt almost solely with sexually-charged dramas, (Fatal Attraction, Flashdance, Indecent Proposal). You would never know it by the looks of things though as Jacob’s Ladder is as masterfully directed and suspenseful as a horror film can get, with some genuinely disturbing and seriously creepy imagery thrown at us along the way. Tim Robbins is utterly outstanding in the performance of his career as the mentally tortured Vietnam vet Jacob Singer and the world he lives in is all kinds of terrifying, (that hospital scene is one for the books). The Silent Hill game series was heavily inspired by the film, (which is one more reason to check it out), and I would be lying if I said I did not secretly wish every horror movie I ever watch would be just as good and basically just like this.
Dir - David Cronenberg
"I had a very disturbing dream last night"
David Cronenberg’s full-length debut is by far my favorite of his films besides Crash, but that one is not a horror movie so we need not go there. I first saw They Came From Within, (or Shivers in most markets, I just prefer the longer, more pretentious title), about ten years ago. It was one of the first Cronenberg movies I remember seeing where I was aware of the director. It was also at a time when I was beginning to take films more seriously. This is a very different kind of horror, certainly for its time. Monsters, zombies, vampires, and ghosts were proven classics and for the most part, they were all about killing you in gruesome ways. The enemy here works far more disturbingly though. It is a fitting critique of the complacent, excessive decade of the 70s as the film sets itself in an ultra-modern, luxury apartment complex which is located on its own island, there taking out its rather convenience-seeking residents. The film grows increasingly creepy as it unfolds and Cronenberg gives it the perfect tone and mood throughout. Outstandingly impressive for an up-and-coming filmmaker to say the least.
5. DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
Dir - George Romero
Hell runneth over
George Romero’s first and by far best sequel in the Dead series in Dawn of the Dead is THE zombie film to judge all others by. As much a masterpiece as Night of the Living Dead is, Dawn scores infinite guts tokens by having arguably the best setting ever for a zombie movie. Throwing our protagonists in a fully stocked abandoned mall is all kinds of genius, least of all because it gives the always social critic Romero the ideal means to blatantly parade his flesh-eating hoards around as mindless consumers. Also, having a huge fucking mall to yourselves is just plain cool, so it eases the audience in to be more accepting of the intended commentary. Sex machine Tom Savini deserves nearly as much credit as Romero for delivering genre-defining gore. I still have to turn my head when they rip that biker’s stomach open. Out of the three available versions of the film, the Dario Argento-edited European one with a Goblin soundtrack may be the tightest, but the two and a half-hour director’s cut is for the real zombie purist.
4. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
Dir - George Romero
Barbara is doomed
The groundbreaking game-changer that Night of the Living Dead is certainly provides a reason that I put it just above its possibly-even-better sequel Dawn of the Dead. Back in 1968, horror movies simply were not made like this, big budget or not. Monsters, supernatural entities, space aliens, or just giant creatures running amok were still very much the norm. Even zombies beforehand had simply been depicted as mindless slaves controlled by some voodoo priest. The flesh-eating, re-animated corpses with no real origin story to speak of were birthed here. The film’s utter bleakness, documentary-style look, and realistic gore further took the horror film where it had never gone before. It is indeed quite admirable that George Romero and co shot it so cheaply ($114, 000, after only an initial $6,000 from the production company did not cut it), and that the entire cast and crew got behind it so vigorously with everyone pitching in with post production and whatnot. Romero’s work obviously was not done yet, but even if he never made another film after this, his reputation would still most certainly be sealed.
3. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007)
Dir - Oren Peli
As Dan Aykroyd would say, "Wanna see something REALLY scary?"
Movies do not scare me. This may sound a bit daft, especially this close to the completion of a list of horror movies. Honestly though, I can count the number of times one of these entries have kept me awake at night on less than one hand. I knew of Paranormal Activity’s existence for less than a week when I saw it with a group of people the night it was released in wide distribution. I think I heard a Blair Witch comparison and that it got exceptional reviews at least for a horror movie, but that was about it. As probably the most effective slow boil I have ever seen just continued to grow, I kept expecting something groan-inducingly stupid to happen which would send the whole film off its rails. Such a moment never happened though. Instead, by “Night 21” the unthinkable occured as I was utterly giddy over how fucking scared I was. This was a sensation I reckon I will never experience again. After repeated viewings since obviously I now know what is coming, I have an easier time sleeping when it is all done. Yet for those first few, I donno, weeks after first seeing it for the first time, that was something else entirely. I went as far as the next two installments in the series and each one took away more and more from the original. As viewed as a stand-alone entity and in the simplest of terms though, Paranormal Activity is the scariest movie I have ever seen.
2. THE HAUNTING (1963)
Dir - Robert Wise
"We who walk here...walk alone"
The absolute pinnacle of black and white, supernatural horror can be found without question in my mind in Robert Wise’s masterpiece The Haunting. Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, (for which the film is very faithfully based), brought forth arguably the greatest haunted mansion in all of fiction in the form of Hill House which was built “ninety odd…very odd…years ago” before the movie takes place. The small group of guests who go to the abode, (especially the star of the show Eleanor), are treated to some ghostly spectacles that would turn one's pubes white. Yet the film’s brilliance lies in how we the viewer experiences it all. Lighting, camera angles, and the occasionally deafening soundtrack coupled with how much is never shown, (including any ghosts at all), produce such effectively terrifying results that it almost makes all other horror movies look like they have no idea what they are doing. There are moments in The Haunting that simply define “chilling”, with “Who’s hand was I holding?” and the bedroom door “pushing” in trumping them all. Perhaps the craziest thing is that this is not even the best haunted house movie ever made because, well…
1. THE SHINING (1980)
Dir - Stanley Kubrick
"Come play with us Danny"
…THIS is the best haunted house movie ever made. It should come as no surprise to anyone who has talked horror with me that Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining is my favorite horror movie. So if this final unveiling seems underwhelming, then I guess an apology is in order. Nevertheless, I mean, c’mon; who doesn’t like The Shining? First off, Stanley Kubrick is the greatest director who ever lived so if anything else, it makes all the logical sense that his one and only horror movie would be the best one there is. The Stephen King source material is probably by all accounts the man’s best novel, (Carrie and Salem’s Lot are right up there too. most would agree). Having this as a groundwork could really only have produced such brilliance. The premise is as perfect as you can possibly have for a horror story. Guy and his family get snowbound in an enormous hotel for the winter, spooks run wild. Fuck…yes! It has always been humorous to me that King dislikes the film so much because all of his complaints towards Kubrick’s changes are for the most part my favorite parts. The axe instead of the crochet mallet, the twins in the hallway, (possibly the most terrifying scene in film history), and the maze that gives us a far superior ending are all elements nowhere to be found in the book. Jack Nicholson has had so many iconic performances over the years but of course, I gotta go with his batshit crazy Jack Torrance as my favorite, (his Joker a very close second), and Shelly Duvall’s Wendy is so hysterically terrified that it looks like she is about to have a heart attack for the last half hour of the movie. This rather unfortunately proves that Kubrick very much knew what he was doing in tormenting the shit out of her during filming, (seriously, look it up). There are so many more reasons why The Shining is at the top of this list and so much more to discuss, but we do not have all night so I guess that will do it folks.