70's Italian Horror Part One

BEYOND THE DOOR
(1974)
Dir - Ovidio G. Assonitis
Overall: MEH

It is hard to tell this is one of the best or worst rip-offs of The Exorcist, though it probably steers closer to the latter.  Beyond the Door, (Chi sei?, Devil Within Her), is an infamous Italian/American co-production that went under a different title in almost every country it was released in, the most hilarious being Greece's To Sperma Tou Antichristou, (Sperm of the Antichrist).  There are one or two solid scenes, (wait for when the rocking chair in the two little brat's room starts rocking by itself for the best of them), though most of the other horrific moments are too derivative of the film this is clearly inspired by.  So blatant was the case that Warner Bros. actually filed a lawsuit to claim copyright infringement which was settled five years later.  As far as the story goes, it an incoherent mess that is likely due to the whopping seven credited screenwriters on board who are clearly going for a "just have a girl use profanity and spit bile on people, plus something about the antichrist" box office cash grab here.

NUDE FOR SATAN

(1974)

Dir - Luigi Batzella

Overall:  MEH

Hack-maker Luigi Batzella, (who had a hodgepodge of other on-screen aliases as well, so much to the point where there is debate as to what his real name was), is apparently known as the Italian Ed Wood.  After seeing Nude for Satan, (Nuda per Satana), one can very clearly see the comparison and not just because he looked remarkably like him.  Just substitute Wood's "not knowing where to put the camera" for Batzella's surprisingly competent cinematography in the hands of Antonio Maccoppi and then substitute Wood's fondness for stock footage for Batzella's inter-splicing of hardcore porn.  Twenty seconds in we see a woman running naked in slow motion and twenty minutes in we are greeted with a blowjob scene, so, you cannot say it does not deliver on the title.  As an actual film though, it is unsurprisingly and completely ridiculous.  The dubbing is typically horrid, there is a spider that would make Wood look as competent as Stanley Kubrick, porn doubles are embarrassingly and noticeably used for the hardcore scenes, (down to hair color, breasts size, the physical setting, and their actual faces being completely different), and there truly is no plot.  The plan seemed to be just throwing some words together for other actors to later dub, shooting a bunch of stuff in a creepy castle, and then inserting, (huh huh), the fornication.  It is occult and porno trash under the guise of avant-garde pretentiousness, which in this case may as well be a compliment.

 

DIABOLICAMENTE... LETIZIA

(1975)

Dir - Salvatore Bugnatelli

Overall: MEH

One of only seven softcore sleaze movies made by sporadic director Salvatore Bugnatelli, Diabolicamente...Letizia, (Sex, Demons, and Death), is a nonsensical and sluggish one that still provides some unintentional chuckles for Euro trash enthusiasts.  Franca Gonella plays a wide-eyed, pushing-thirty teenager with vague, malevolent superpowers who recently shows up at her aunts house to make everyone there horny while fighting with each other.  Such a bare-bones premise is sufficient enough to hang a series of naked, silly set pieces on and one of the more memorable ones involves Gonella turning into a shewolf for a split second to scare the shit out of the household's maid.  For the rest of the time, she utilizes telekinesis, voodoo, and hypnotism to reap her family revenge for a previous crime that is not entirely explained.  While the nudity and ridiculousness is amusing in an exploitative fashion, the pacing is dreadful and the plot structure is tedious as it spins in circles with Gonella dragging out her scheme for no other reason than for the movie to reach the ninety-odd minute mark.

70's Mexican Horror Part One - (Juan López Moctezuma Edition)

THE MANSION OF MADNESS

(1972)

Overall:  GOOD

Juan López Moctezuma's directorial debut The Mansion of Madness, (La mansión de la locura, House of Madness, Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon), is an absurd affair as only it should be, both for being about a lunatic asylum and being helmed by an Alejandro Jodorowsky alumni, (Moctezuma was one of the producers on El Topo).  The tour we get of Dr. Maillard's vast abode that openly houses a wealth of certifiably insane "patients" are the best, most striking moments.  We meet people dressed and acting like soldiers, others building inventions out of scrap metal, others keeping guard in smoke-stacks, and a man who thinks he is a chicken.  After that, it gets weird.  There is a high priest fellow who is made to look remarkably like Aleister Crowley and such a Crowley reference is hardly an isolated incident as Dr. Maillard quotes "Do what thou wilt".  Also, the entire "mansion" of the title acts as a heathens den of unsupervised maniacs running amok and doing just that; "what they wilt".  Also, there is some naked dancing, farm animals, and occult ceremonies as well there should be.  The problems can easily be justified, (if one is feeling generous), as enhancing the surreal tone.  Goofy music accompanies random scenes that are scattered around otherwise horrific ones and Cladio Brook gives an overtly eccentric yet borderline annoying performance.  Pacing wise, it dips a bit too often as well, but the overall wacky nature is enjoyable to be sure.

MARY, MARY, BLOODY MARY

(1975)

Overall: MEH

The first American co-production and English language film from Mexican director Juan López Moctezuma, Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary is a contemporary set, exploitation vampire movie with none of the surreal insanity of his other two cinematic works that surrounded it.  The story involves a painter who is genetically prone to blood-drinking, embarking on a killing spree that moronic police detectives never trace back to her, though to their credit, another lunatic is also running around at the same time draining bodies of blood.  Unfortunately the movie feels its length, meandering with drawn-out scenes set to daft soundtrack choices that range from lush, romantic soft jazz to California light rock to generic horror movie music.  The demise of each victim is predictable in a slasher film sense, such kills scenes are small in number as well as mostly minimal in their violence, and the story itself is a snore.  For genre fans, poor John Carradine collects another easy paycheck within the last five minutes, (assuming a body double was used for his character's minuscule amount of prior scenes where his face is completely disguised), and he does get to gulp down dark red blood with pathetic, patchy makeup on his face in the movie's goriest scene, so that is at least something.

ALUCARDA
(1978)
Overall:  GOOD

Unique in an over-the-top, gnashing of teeth way,  Juan López Moctezuma's Alucarda, (Alucarda, la hija de las tinieblas, Alucarda, the Daughter of Darkness), arguably contains the most screaming per-second in any horror film. The Mexican convent setting exists in the caves and the bedrooms therein are simply large enough holes to house a bed and give you some leg room to thrash your body around, Devil-possession style.  The penance room looks like a dungeon or a catacomb and the actual church is the most disturbing location of all which is almost pitch black save for numerous, eerily lighted, life-sized crucifixes that are realistically detailed.  Then there is the comparatively brighter lit crypt where Satan and his demon lot are laying around in coffins, statues, or the very walls, just waiting for some poor orphan girls to stumble upon it.  Let us not forget the gypsies who appear out of nowhere and dance around in a naked, demon-raising ceremony.  Back to the screaming, every female character either spends all of their scenes or ninety percent of them foaming at the mouth while praying to the Lord, (or in the case of the two leads), praying to the Dark Lord.  Also, the nuns are wrapped up head to foot like mummies in bloody bandages, being extra bloody in the crotch area, (whatever that is all about).  So kind of like Ken Russell's The Devils meets anything by Alejandro Jodorowsky.

30's Bela Lugosi Part One

MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE
(1932)
Dir Robert Florey
Overall:  GOOD

The very first full-length film adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's The Murders In the Rue Morgue was the Universal version made a year after Dracula and Frankenstein and it remains one of the better non-monster horror films from said studio.  Bela Lugosi gets the chance to play his first mad scientist Dr. Mirakle who is hell bent on mixing the blood of his savage "pet" ape Erik with that of a woman because that is just something you do.  This would not even be Lugosi's sole on-screen pairing with a primate since Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla also exists.  As silly as this loose interpretation of Poe's source material sounds on paper, it is mostly successful.  Dracula cinematographer/The Mummy director Karl Freund is back again, doing wonders as the film looks a whole lot creepier than it actually is.  It is also typically slow for the time period though sinisterly atmospheric.  Images of women being tied up crucifixion-style and left hanging upside down in a fireplace are plenty gruesome for pre-code Hollywood.  The edits between a real life chimp and "King of the Gorilla Men" Charles Gemora in a monkey suite are hardly convincing, but they are hardly Ed Wood ridiculous looking either.  In his first but not last unibrow-sporting villain role in one year, it is Lugosi that naturally steals the show.  Equal parts bat-shit crazy and charming, (OK probably more parts bat-shit crazy), the Hungarian legend is his usual, superbly menacing self. 

WHITE ZOMBIE

(1932)

Dir - Victor Halperin

Overall: MEH

 

When originally released and for still several decades afterwards, most of the complaints with Victor Halperin's White Zombie revolved around the plot and non-Bela Lugosi performances.  Such complaints are indeed still warranted.  Lugosi is great even when he is being a cartoon character version of himself, (which actually happened quite often), so no surprise that he is the best thing here.  Those soul piercing eyes and that Dracula-with-a-unibrow look, as well as the sinister body language and of course the accent, all make Lugosi's Murder Legendre one of his finest screen roles.  Once you get past his scene steeling scenes though, there is really not much to appreciate.  Some of the atmosphere conveyed is well done, but that is mostly due to the borrowed Universal Studios set pieces, (previously used in everything from Dracula, Frankenstein, and even Lon Chaney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame).  Otherwise, the pacing is horribly dull and the plot is ridiculous.  Laughably melodramatic acting from the rest of the cast has also aged the film rather poorly.  Good at least for Lugosi and his sinister hand gestures, but still admittingly shy of its somewhat admired reputation.

 

MARK OF THE VAMPIRE
(1935)
Dir - Tod Browning
Overall: MEH

Since London After Midnight has been certifiably "lost" for almost a century now, not a prayer is left that anyone will ever see said Lon Chaney Sir's sole vampire film.  Even as utterly awesome as the few stills and pictures of Chaney in full fang-toothed glory have always looked.  1935's Mark of the Vampire however has remained very much in print and is MGM's talkie remake of Midnight.  Coming four years after Universal's Dracula, it makes sense that MGM would not only hire Bela Lugosi to be the undead fiend in this one, but also Dracula's director Tod Browning to helm.  The "twist" here is hardly surprising this day in age to any horror buffs who know that this film exists, but this fact certainly does not ruin the whole.  Even though the running time is just barely an hour long, it does comes off as heavily padded.  It is understandable then to skip all the parts that do not have Lugosi and Carol Borland slowly creeping around their cobweb infested castle or fog shrouded graveyard, as those are easily and arguably the only satisfying moments herein.

70's Spanish Horror Part One

THE BLOOD SPATTERED BRIDE
(1972)
Dir - Vicente Aranda
Overall:  GOOD

While the word "tasteful" would hardly be accurate in describing Vicente Aranda's The Blood Spattered Bride, (La Novia Ensangrentada lit, The Bloody Bride) is also hardly the exploitative gore-fest it sounds like and is actually more story-centered than anything else.  There are some heavy and in-your face themes being explored here in the very dialog alone, with misogynistic fears morphing into twisted feminist empowerment via lesbian vampirism.  Cleverly still, much is left debatable.  Was there actually a vampire afoot or were the psychiatrist's more rational theories really what was at play?  Normally in about a hundred out of a hundred and one horror movies, the voice of skepticism is the one the audience groans at because we know we are watching a horror movie.  In the case, such things are more debatable than usual for such Euro-horror fare. On that note, typical bizarreness including an excellent scene on the beach and the genre-standard dream sequences are also present.  The pacing is sluggish and only interrupted by by rather brutal violence and nudity.  Script wise, only a few things do not add up, including the ending and the mysterious dagger that for whatever reason no one can figure out can just be driven out of town or thrown into the ocean at any time to be rid of it.  Out of the many horror films inspired by the Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu story Carmilla though, this is easily one of the most unique and in turn better ones.

A BELL FROM HELL
(1973)
Dir - Claudio Guerín
Overall:  GOOD

A Bell From Hell, (La campana del infierno), was tragically director Claudio Guerín's last film as he died on the last day of shooting by falling from the very bell tower featured herein.  It is a very stylized, borderline giallo affair, be it far more ambiguous though.  Renaud Verley is fantastic as our main protagonist Juan.  That is assuming that we the viewer are not meant to know if we are supposed to root for him or not.  Far from conventionally sympathetic even after performing a handful of heroic deeds, he still comes off as the most untrustworthy, conniving, dangerous, and certainly insane inhabitant of this here Spanish village.  He also appears to be the film's hero and is surrounded by no shortage of equally morale-ugly family members and neighbors.  This morally grey area is certainly intentional and makes for an interesting and strange experience to transpire.  Made a few years shy of the end of Francisco Franco's fascist regime, A Bell From Hell therefor still fell under said reigns censorship laws and does not delve into full-on gore or sexual depravity.  Truth be told though, we are given some wincing real-life slaughter house footage to be warned about.  As can often be the case and certainly the case in the hands of a skilled director like Guerín, such limitations on presentable visuals does in fact produce a more clever and intellectually satisfying result of sorts.  The end of Bell may leave one turning their head like a pug when it hears a funny noise, but as elaborate and far reaching as it may seem, it fits the tone and complements the relative dementia of the whole.

SATAN'S BLOOD
(1978)
Dir - Carlos Puerto/Juan Piquer Simón
Overall:  GOOD

Quick, what's the most natural thing in the world to do after being hypnotized into a Satanic orgy in the wee-hours of the night?  If you answered never mention it again and continue pretending that it was a scene from a totally different movie you were just in then, well, congrats.  You would therefor feel right at home in Satan's Blood, (Escalofrío).  This deliciously 70s and deliciously Euro-horror treat about the Horned-One's loyal minions having their way with a susceptible couple in a creepy house in the middle of nowhere, (where of course the car breaks down, it storms outside, and the phone does not work), is goblet-full of all the cliches occult cinema in this decade often has.  There is male and female nudity, hot oil rub-downs, tons of spoken prayers to the Great Deceiver, occult books, an Ouija board, creepy guys in robes, cartoonishly out-of-key organ music, and fuck it, even a creepy doll.  Also, a good deal of nothing at all makes any sense.  Mostly over the top mess, it is also rather a riot because of it.  Writer/director team Carlos Puerto and Juan Piquer Simón, (the latter of which also co-wrote the even more ridiculous Pieces), crafted a film here that just spirals along into evil and naked, popcorn-munching nonsense.  Which in this case, is a fine thing.

70's American Horror Part One

THE DUNWICH HORROR
(1970)
Dir - Daniel Haller
Overall: MEH

An early H.P. Lovecraft adaptation of the book of the same name, The Dunwich Horror was produced by American International Pictures who were behind the virtually flawless Roger Corman/Vincent Price/Edgar Allan Poe films from the 1960s amongst many others.  In fact, Corman's name got thrown onto this one as well, in executive producer form.  The source material is fool proof enough, but it has some pacing issues, (as well as a random angry mob), during its finale that kind of drag things down while Dean Stockwell seems to take FOREVER to summon the Old Ones on top of demon cliff.  Also, Sandra Dee spends about 80% of her screen time moving her sleepy head black and forth and moaning whilst under Wilbur Whateley's spell.  Speaking of Stockwell's Whateley, he is so goofy and creepy from our very first meeting with him that the fact that everybody does not just back away and leave well enough alone is rather a hard pill to swallow.  There are multiple close ups of his eyes so I guess he was using some kinda Old One's power to keep people thinking he is charming instead of an eccentric nerd?  Sure why not.

FRANKENSTEIN
(1973)
Dir - Glenn Jordan
Overall: MEH

The second Gothic literary adaptation from producer Dan Curtis, Frankenstein was an early installment in season one of ABC's Wide World of Mystery series, debuting the same year that England also aired their own television version of Mary Shelley's famed source material with Frankenstein: The True Story.  This one also has Curtis serving as co-writer and it premiered on the same evening as The Night Strangler, signifying an era where Curtis' productions were all over the small screen.  Taking as many liberties as any variation of the novel, this one maintains the idea of Frankenstein's creation living in hiding for a number of months where he observes the behavior of others to pick up speech, only to demand a female companion once he is reunited with his maker.   As far as the monster goes, this has a typically pitiful portrayal from Bo Svenson, with the usual motifs of everyone running away or attacking him in terror and all of his early murders being accidental in nature.  Robert Foxworth also makes for a pathetic title character who frustrates everyone around him with his stubborn, obsessive insistence on keeping his experiments on the down-low.  The over two-hour running time is excessive and the shot-on-video presentation allows for no convincing cinematic atmosphere, making this an adequate yet redundant interpretation amongst many.

TOURIST TRAP
(1979)
Dir - David Schmoeller
Overall: GOOD

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre/House of Wax rip-off/homage Tourist Trap was produced by the short-lived company that also put out Halloween the previous year and is a perfect example of a horror film that never loses sight of its tone.  There are a number of things, (make that most things), going on here that are just impossible to take seriously and the film clearly knows this.  Everything from the score, acting, and camera work all contribute to make the viewer feel a bit uncomfortable while simultaneously amused.  The opening scene is quite effective and further creepy moments follow, though everything grows increasingly more bizarre than scary.  There are flaws to be sure as well though.  Every single line of dialog from our main villain Leatherface or whatever he is called is absolutely terrible.  The movie would have benefited if he was mute, considering that many of his actions would seem far more unsettling instead of just weird and laugh out loud funny.  Again though, much of this humor seems intended.  There are also budget detriments that sell many of the effects short and of course every character makes mostly moronic decisions that only characters in horror movies do.  The film was overlooked when originally released, but as is the case with many of these low-budget horror gems, its reputation has aged most well and deservedly so.