2013 Horror Part Two

ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE
Dir - Jim Jarmusch
Overall:  GOOD

For his first foray into horror, Jim Jarmusch's Only Lovers Left Alive is a very specific and stylized take on the vampire film.  Quirky, off-beat, and explicitly "Jarmuschy", the usual blood-sucking shtick is bypassed quite a bit for a humorously cynical, self-loathing, and hipster-centric approach.  Certain vampiric traditions are still upheld, but it is amusing how Jarmusch is clearly goofing on them.  Tom Hiddleston's Adam is more a parody of a brooding, no sense of humor, centuries-old vampire than a textbook, romantically-inclined sexual fiend.  Both he and Tilda Swinton as his estranged soul mate of ages Eve, (get it?), score blood from doctors in typical drug addict fashion, but not just because they do not want to get caught killing people every night.  Instead, they simply think human blood is contaminated and therefor unhealthy.  There are plenty of other humorous twists thrown in and the overall theme seems to be in finding a little meaning in making yourself useful when you have no choice but to not die.  While at the same time loving vintage instruments, vintage gear, 45s, and generally thinking other "zombie" people suck and you're the coolest undead kid in the room.

THE BORDERLANDS
Dir - Elliot Goldner
Overall:  GOOD

The full-length debut from Elliot Goldner, The Borderlands, (Final Prayer), is an exceptionally good fount footage film amongst many lesser ones.  Setting up a concept where camcorders are strapped to the characters heads as they are sent on a job to "document everything", it therefor lets the camera be the eyes of the protagonists and frees up any distracting questions of "Why would they keep filming all of this?" from the audience.  Goldner seems to know all these plus sides to the format and utilizes them well.  It also boils very slowly and has a small, likeable, and relatable cast.  Minor complaints can be made in that these very characters willingly venture into the most absurdly frightening set pieces near the end, but the stretch in logic is forgivable since naturally, they do not know they are in a horror movie.  The jump scares are also there of course, but they are used very sparingly at least.  Plenty of intensely creepy moments are scattered through the movie and the finale is particularly superb.  Even if it makes absolutely no sense how such footage got in the hands of anyone else to ever watch it, but still, this is about as decent as the sub genre ever gets.

THE DEN
Dir - Zachary Donohue
Overall:  WOOF

Well this was rather unpleasant.  Shrugging off a person clearly in peril instead of easily helping or at least being sympathetic to them comes off both headscratchingly illogical and obnoxious in Zachary Donohue's found footage dud The Den.  Law enforcement basically tells our protagonist "You're on your own, now stop bothering us" more than once and it becomes a lazy excuse just to make the movie go on in the first place.  There is a heavy-handed message lurking here that the internet and all the information that can be tracked and exposed therein is dangerous, so the concept behind this movie is creepy on paper, presenting a worst case scenario for anyone paranoid about having their face and/or info online.  Yet when no one on camera seems to be concerned enough with said person caught up in such a nightmare, then good luck making the audience care either.  More than that though, the whole ordeal is just uncomfortably depressing.  Similar to how torture porn tests the audience to a sadistic, completely unentertaining extent, everything that goes on here is just either insulting or miserable or both.

2014 Horror Part Four

GODZILLA
Dir - Gareth Edwards
Overall:  MEH 

Comparing Gareth Edwards' major-budgeted Godzilla relaunch to say Cloverfield which took such a concept, went with the hand-held camera angle, and very successfully put the viewer in the fly on the wall seat, this film has no such effective tension.  For a "giant monster destroying metropolitan areas" movie, it is yet another stock and generic one with nothing more to offer than brand recognition and updated special effects.  Running over two hours and featuring about six minutes of actual monster footage, the majority of Edwards' Godzilla is just lame, emotionally barren characters doing things lame, emotionally barren characters do in disaster films.  Families get separated, the military has bombs and only bombs as their answer to everything, every five minutes something incredibly convenient happens to our protagonists to put them in direct contact with monster shenanigans, children are at risk, scientists look concerned, people hug at the end, etc.  So many marks are hit and all would be forgiven if the actual monster money shots were way more frequent and interesting.  Instead, this is just the same shit different movie.

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW
Dir - John Erick Dowdle
Overall: GOOD

On the one hand, John Erick Dowdle's third found footage horror film in seven years As Above, So Below is a cliche ridden, heavily flawed bit of work.  While the premise is quite interesting, the story does not have much going for it and is basically there as an excuse to feature as many randomly creepy things as possible.  Yet those creepy things are quite memorable to say the least.  The film takes place in an ideal setting for a horror movie that helps one look past the boo scares and some of the cheap genre tricks.  Since said drawback are undeniably there though, it is more successful as fun, supernatural horror movie window dressing than it is at having a properly compelling narrative.   Its unnerving details are impressive and the hand-held camera, guerilla style framework is more complimentary than not since generic, scary music and the like is nowhere to be found.  Dowdle's Quarantine remake is probably better overall and his The Poughkeepsie Tapes certainly worse, but this one fits in the average category and is highly worth viewing at least once to see all the weird, spooky stuff transpiring while enjoying your popcorn.

V/H/S: VIRAL
Dir - Nacho Vigalondo/Marcel Sarmiento/Gregg Bishop/Justin Benson/Aaron Scott Moorhead
Overall:  MEH

Three entries in and each V/H/S movie has followed the same format while offering up the same results.  As is the case with all anthology films, one can easily pick out their favorite moment as well as their least.  Unfortunately, most of V/H/S: Viral is in the "least" category.  The linking segments in these films have all been various levels of terrible, the one here most of all.  It is a distracting, incredibly confusing mess with zero redeeming factors, made worse by the fact that it takes up the most screen time and seems unavoidable.  Besides that, there are only three additional stories which is less than the first two installments in the series.  "Dante the Great" takes more liberties with the found footage formula than perhaps any other in history so far.  Presented as a documentary, most of what we see seems to be screaming at us from the heavens "Who in the hell is filming all of this?".  "Bonestorm" has a nifty premise, but it is ultimately stupid and features a cast made up entirely of obnoxious skateboarding punks that you want to be murdered as soon as you see them.  Which leaves the only good segment in "Parallel Monsters", helmed by Spanish filmmaker Nacho Vigalondo.  Truth be told though, it only seems better due to the rest of the film being of such poor quality.  The high water marks in V/H/S and V/H/S 2 are far higher than anything here so yeah, this is the weakest one by a pretty easy margin.

2014 Horror Part Three

A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT
Dir - Ana Lily Amipour
Overall: GREAT 

American/Iranian first time filmmaker Ana Lily Amipour's A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, (Dokhtari dar šab tanhâ be xâne miravad), is not the stuff of amateurs.  Based off Amipour's own graphic novel of the same name with a deliberately underscored and quirky presentation to say the least, it is easily one of the most stylish and uniquely mesmerizing art horror films perhaps ever made.  Forgoing cliches almost exclusively and existing in a surreal, out of time and out of country universe, (though it probably says more about Iran than America), nearly all the moments are memorable.  On top of this, the story is dreamlike and compelling, with gay and feminist themes lurking in the shadows and never once becoming overbearing.  The words "noir" and "western" have been attributed here and you can just as easily throw the word "hipster" into the mix as well, but the results are so individual that it truly does not fall into any defined boxes.  A few cinematic odes can be picked up on, but the sum of all the parts is very much its own beast.

[REC] 4: APOCALYPSE
Dir - Jaume Balagueró
Overall:  MEH 

It is as much a cliche to agree with the sentiment that horror sequels ultimately take away more than they enhance the initial film in such a franchise, as much as it is a cliche that horror films seem incapable of escaping the franchise treatment in general.  The writer/director duo of Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza, (who made the first two [REC] movies as a team), decided not to quit while they were ahead.  Instead, they split up with Paco going solo on [REC] 3: Genesis and now Balagueró dropping [REC] 4: Apocalypse.  While Genesis was universally panned, Apocalypse is a direct sequel to the surprisingly excellent [REC] 2.  Essentially an action film set on a boat, this is easily the least "horror" in tone out of the series.  Even with the same rabid, red-eyed crazies running amok as we have come to expect and Manuela Velasco returning as the news reporter turned badass action starlet Ángela Vidal, it is so wildly different that it becomes rather unfair to even compare it to the previous installments.  In a way, this makes sense as the first two entries ambitiously went in different narrative routes from each, but Balagueró kind of pushes his luck this time.  It is somewhat entertaining for what it is, but also more mediocre visually and conceptually than one would hope for.

IT FOLLOWS
Dir - David Robert Mitchell
Overall: WOOF

There have been a slew of movies coming out particularly over the last few years that critics have put on a pedestal and often this is due to them seeming like a breath of fresh air compared to torture porn, reboots, and sequels.  David Robert Mitchell's It Follows is just such a movie.  An interesting question to ask is has the horror film gotten so bad, so predictable, so tastelessly rehashed from movie to movie that anything that does not resemble the boo-scare, ultra gory, by the books traits that are shoved down our throats deserve to get hailed as a masterpiece?  There can be no other explanation where this film is concerned, a film that has one of the laziest, most awful scripts imaginable.  Mitchell has defended it as adhering to some sort of vague dream logic, but unless you are David Lynch, (and none of us are), that can often be an excuse to pretty much allow your movie to establish and then ignore any rules it wants to.  The other and perhaps bigger issue here is that the entire presentation is remarkably dull.  Most of the characters lay around, sleep a lot, and stare at things.  There is a lot of driving here, driving there and then sitting around and laying around even more.  While it seems to be deliberately presenting a world where sexually active adolescents are left with no supervision or guidance, it does so in a more jarring than clever manner.  With such ill-defined terms, it fails to captivate and insufferably bores under its pretentiousness in the process.

100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS: 20 - 1

20.  Real Love

Out of the two new songs that arrived with the Beatles Anthology, though both were killer, I have always liked "Real Love" the best.  It does not seem to be regarded as such, even though most people had no ill words for either track, but I stand by it.  Lennon's original demo of the song was more complete and not as rough as "Free As A Bird", Paul, George, and Ringo essentially acted as session men by playing along to a pre-existing arrangement.  Much production work still had to be done to make it gel, the key of the song being tweaked in studio for one thing. George Harrison's very finest guitar solo could be in "Real Love" I think as well, which is impressive in the fact that he virtually stopped doing solos for the previous two decades before this song was tracked.

19.  I'm Happy Just To Dance with You

Written specifically for George Harrison to sing, John and Paul both hammered "I'm Happy Just To Dance with You" out rather effortlessly, which is another thing I rather like about it.  This stuff just happened virtually on a daily basis back in The Beatles early period.  There is not much to the song, not much to the lyric, but it is just the happiest, hookiest goddamn thing.  It was the first song the Beatles recorded on a Sunday, the sequence in the Hard Day's Night film was the first promotional "music video" that George sang lead on, and the song begins with the last part of the bridge.  Then it is all done and over with before it even hits the two minute mark.  This is damn near the best song on the album and easily the best George song that he sang without writing.

18.  I've Just Seen A Face

Trumping even "Yesterday" on Help! for me is Paul's finest two-minutes and seven seconds on said album, "I've Just Seen A Face".  Interestingly, the song was recorded on the same day as "Yesterday", (as well as "I'm Down"), so Paul's vocals definitely got a work out on June 14th, 1965.  The up-tempo folk of "Face" has no bass line, but it does a lot of acoustic guitars and some quick brushwork from Ringo, as well as some intricate wordplay going on in the lyrics.  This is the only Beatles song that my band King Henry regularly covers thus far, making it the only Beatles guitar solo I know how to play, including the intro.  Which brings me that much closer to being George in a Beatles cover band someday.

17.  You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

One spot above "I've Just Seen A Face" is the best song on Help! and possibly be the best Dylan-inspired Beatles song period in "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away".  Both John and Paul have said that the former was just channeling his inner-Robert Zimmerman love when composing this one and it certainly shows.  It is a melancholy folk song with self-depreciating lyrics and it helped further display a growing sophistication in The Beatles writing as they continued to move even more away from "P.S. I Love You" type territory.  This has no harmony or background vocals, very rare for a Beatles song, but it does have a lovely flute solo performed by John Scott, (not George's gardener who lip-performed it in the film BTW).

16.  Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)

Well if "Norwegian Wood" is also Dylan-inspired Beatlesness, then it has to take the slight nod ahead of "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" as the best song that rock's greatest lyricist gave John Lennon inspiration for.  These might actually be my favorite lyrics John ever wrote while in the group.  Though there is some disagreement once again as to Paul's involvement, the middle eight seems to be from McCartney according to sources, sans a later John interview where he said "Wood" was 100% his.  It is about an affair that he was having at the time after all, ("Bird" being British slang for a female).  Of course, George Harrison famously introduced the sitar into the Beatles world on this song as well and the hook playing the vocal melody is most famous indeed.

15.  You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)

In the forward interview for The Beatles Recording Sessions book, Paul McCartney said that "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)" was his favorite Beatles song.  Which prompted a laugh from the author/interviewer.  It also did from me, not because it was such a daft choice which it is, but also because I could easily agree with him.  At once, this is easily the most ridiculous Beatles song in history and also the funniest.  The only lyrics in the song are its title and the originally released version that was a B-side to the "Let It Be" single goes through four different musical styles in just as many minutes.  The opening, rock section has some great vocals going on in it, but definitely my favorite bit is the lounge-act ending where John sings laugh-out-loud funny gibberish over it.  Then McCartney's "Ooo...ooo's" come in and I lose it.  Also great and completely random is that the alto sax solo is played by Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones.  Because of course it is.

14.  I Should Have Known Better

My favorite moment in the Hard Day's Night film is probably the early train sequence and the musical number that is the centerpiece there is "I Should Have Known Better".  This was the last time a harmonica intro was used on a Beatles track and you would guess right to think it was the best harmonica anything on a Beatles track.  This is the finest song on A Hard Day's Night as well and it is just about my favorite "early" Beatles song, meaning pre-1966.  Pretty much when I think of the band at their most catchy, melodic, and jovial, this is the go-to song I think about.  Still prominently featuring acoustic guitars, it also was one of the first to utilize George Harrison's famous Rickenbacker electric 12-string.  For people who only care for later Beatles when they were not catering to making young girls scream anymore, all I can do is point to this song and challenge you not to bob your head in blissful enjoyment.

13.  Hey Bulldog

Just before The Beatles embarked on their Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Transcendental meditation retreat in Rishikesh, India in February of 1968, they hastily recorded "Hey Bulldog" the same month.  It was actually documented on film, though ironically the crew hired for the undertaking was only there to get footage for a "Lady Madonna" promo video.  So if you watch said music video, the song the band is performing is actually this one.  According to acquaintances, it also marks one of the last times that the Beatles were all on board and cheerfully enthusiastic in the studio, before (The White Album) sessions later in the year began a long process of tension within the band's dynamic.  "Bulldog" was released on the Yellow Submarine soundtrack and is easily the best thing on it.  The piano/guitar riff is one of the greatest by any band and along with "Silly Love Songs", this is the most impressive bass playing of Paul McCartney's entire career.

12.  This Boy

Until John Lennon made the Plastic Ono Band album, "This Boy" was the finest vocal performance he ever gave.  The middle eight section is quite astonishingly good.  The rest of the song represents John, Paul, and George closely harmonizing in absolute top form.  It probably ranks just under "Because" as their finest such moment.  Plus the song itself is gorgeous, an attempt by John to write a Smokey Robinson-esque, slow Motown ballad.  Except of course it is far superior to any Motown ballad ever conceived, says this guy right here.  "This Boy" was recorded in fifteen takes, the same day as its A-side single counterpart "I Want To Hold Your Hand", as well as the band's first fan club Christmas single, (which were always pretty goofy).  Obviously, "This Boy" trumped everything else they did that day though.  Which means yes, "Hold Your Hand" is indeed not on the way on this list ladies and gents.

11.  Something

The second most covered Beatles song this side of "Yesterday", John's favorite track off Abbey Road, Paul's favorite George song period, the only George-written and sung A-side to go to number one in the US whilst in the band, plus one hellova beautiful ballad is "Something".  Any and everyone can agree that by the time the Beatles began putting their final album Abbey Road together, George was very much on the level of his bandmates John and Paul, if not in quantity making the final cut, then easily in quality.  "Something" and "Here Comes the Sun" are arguably the two best songs on the album.  George began toying with it as early as (The White Album) recording sessions and later claimed that he wrote it about both god and Pattie Boyd (Harrison), citing the love a woman as the same as the love of a higher power.  George was a peace and love kind of guy the bulk of his life so, sure I buy it.

10.  If I Needed Someone

The prize for the best George Harrison-penned song in the Beatles catalog goes to Rubber Soul's "If I Needed Someone".  This one grew and grew as a favorite of mine as sometime probably in the last two years or so I had to up and admit that it was better than "Something", if only by a little bit.  George openly admitted and was directly inspired by the Byrds here, specifically two different songs, their version of "The Bells of Rhymney" and "She Don't Care About Time".  The results are the finest 12-string work on a Beatles song.  This was also the only George-written original that the band played live, even making an appearance at their very last concert at Candlestick Park on Aug 29th, 1966.  One cannot discuss this song without bringing up the hilarious lyrics.  George is basically saying, "Yeah if I was single, you'd do fine" and "I'll call you if I need someone".  What a dick, ha.

9.  Why Don't We Do It In the Road?

Where this one is concerned, I can defend my favoring of the Beatles more silly songs on the basis that "Why Don't We Do It In the Road?" has the best vocals outside of "Hey Jude" that Paul McCartney ever laid down.  Similar to "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)", this simply features the song's title sung over and over again with the occasional "No one will be watching us" line thrown in.  The simplest of inspiration came from McCartney watching two monkeys go at it in Rishikesh, India, at which point the Beatle thought to himself, "If only humans could so casually bone like that".  I assume those were his exact words.  Paul cut a version entirely by himself on Oct 9th, 1968 while John and George were busy elsewhere and then the next day cut the final version with Ringo while the other two Beatles once again were overseeing overdubs to "Glass Onion" and "Piggies" respectively.

8.  Dear Prudence

John's best (White Album) song was famously written about Mia Farrow's sister Prudence who got really into the whole meditation part during the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi retreat in Rishikesh, India by refusing to leave her bungalow until she reached the ultimate state of higher consciousness.  Or something.  Apparently John and a few others used to sing to her to come out and play, "It's a beautiful day" and the lot.  Though truth be told, this song could be about scrotums and pancakes and it would be just as fantastic.  John, Paul, and George recorded it Ringo-less on Aug 28th-30th at Trident Studios as their drummer had temporarily quit the band at the time.  Paul also supplied drums to (The White Album's) opener "Back In the U.S.S.R.", making "Dear Prudence" the second song in a row on the album to not feature Mr. Starr.  Paul does a more than admirable job on both of these tracks, but "Prudence" excels everywhere from the bass part, to George's lead guitar, to of course the finger-picked guitar melody and John's flawless vocal one.

7.  Blackbird

Once again, the Beatles cleverly use the slang "bird" to mean a woman and yes "Blackbird" took its inspiration from the racial injustices specifically in the U.S. at the time in 1968.  This poetic masterpiece from Paul is the ultimate highlight on (The White Album) and after reading this whole thing, you can tell that that is saying something as nearly that entire album made this list.  It is my favorite album ever made and here we reach the top.  Paul performed the song solo on June 11th, 1968, tapping his feet audibly along with playing a Martin acoustic.  Similar to "Yesterday" three years previously, George Martin simply let Paul go, only actual blackbird noises and part of the double-tracked vocal getting added on later.  Musically, "Blackbird" is classically inspired by the Bach piece "Bourrée In E Minor", something both he and George attempted to learn as teenagers to show off to other kids and musicians, (and probably "birds"), to impress them.  I have also tried to learn this song and at this writing, I can get as far as the first four chords.  So yeah, Paul is better than me.

6.  A Day In the Life

As a piece of recording studio art, Sgt. Pepper's closer "A Day In the Life" is at once the culmination of the entire album and what The Beatles in general where trying to accomplish after quitting touring.  Meaning that this is a studio creation that could not be duplicated 100% accurately live and was arranged thus as a completely creative tour de force for the band's confidence as record makers.  Comprised of two distinct sections, the bulk of the song by John and the "Woke up, got out of bed" part from Paul, "Day" segues the two sections with "An orgasm of sound" as George Martin described it.  A full orchestra was told to start from the lowest note on their instruments and slowly build up to the highest within a twenty-four bar span.  The 100 Best Beatles Songs book by Stephen J. Spignesi and Michael Lewis placed "A Day" at the very top spot and they make a very convincing argument.  Which is actually hardly necessary for anyone who has heard it.  Which also pretty much means everyone.  It is quite the masterpiece in every way shape and form.

5.  Strawberry Fields Forever

As astounding as "A Day In the Life" came out, the first on the double A-side, post-live performance Beatles era single "Strawberry Fields Forever" is arguably the greatest studio-enhanced rock song in any era.  The name and nostalgic lyrics came from a Salvation Army children's home that was around the corner from where John grew up in Liverpool, but the track itself is anything but nostalgic.  Instead, it is a bold leap towards the future of what a band could do with no rule book in the recording studio.  John wrote the song in Spain whilst filming How I Won the War and upon bringing it in to work on, George Martin, engineer Geoff Emerick, and the rest of the group took their time turning it into the dazzling finished product that it is.  Several versions of the song were tracked and worked on, John consistently not satisfied with the results.  Ultimately, John insisted his producer and engineer figure out a way to mold together the last two versions and much tape modulation and pitch/tempo tweaks later, the end result was birthed.  "Strawberry Fields" is as gorgeous as it is innovative, a common theme in Beatles music.

4.  Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End

The last four entries here I must apologize for for anyone who has read previous lists of mine, as all four of these songs appear in the exact same order on my 100 Favorite Songs entry that I did last year.  I knew that going in yet after consideration, all of these songs must remain where I had them as I have not changed my mind.  The Abbey Road closer "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End" is not only the absolute perfect three part punch for The Beatles to go out on, but it is impossible to argue that it is not one of the greatest pieces of music ever conceived.  All three songs were Paul McCartney-authored, as was the idea to do a side-long medley in the first place.  Paul swiped the "Golden Slumbers" lyrics from the lullaby "Cradle Song", "Carry That Weight" is another moment where the Beatles financial affairs inspired the words, and "The End" contains the best three guitarists axe solo in history, Ringo's one and only drum solo, and possibly the Beatles most famous lyric in "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make".

3.  Two of Us

The highest personal favorite song on this list, (since my top two are hardly not ridiculously popular and iconic singles), is Let It Be's opening track "Two of Us".  Recorded live at Apple Studios on January 31st, 1969, this is the best acoustic guitar-driven Beatles song and could be my very favorite folky pop song ever written.  Paul is the sole composer again here, but it is he and John's closely harmonized vocals that make it as good as it is.  Several lines such as "You and I have memories, longer than the road that stretches" and "You and I chasing paper, getting nowhere" clearly seem to be about he and John's soon-to-be ending partnership.  Making "Two of Us" rather bittersweet now.  I still smile easily when I hear it though, as I do whilst bumping pretty much every Beatles song.  The melody, guitar lick, and George's bass line, (that was actually played on a guitar), are all excellence in song form.  Ultimately perhaps, "Two of Us" proves that even as the band had all but imploded at this point in their history, they were capable of delivering a quiet, restraint, beautiful ballad where everything about it just about represents all of The Beatles powers at their strongest.

2.  Hey Jude

Even now as I type this, I have to admit that there may someday come a time where I have to fess up and admit that "Hey Jude" is in fact the greatest Beatles song of all time.  It is not that I am too "punk rock" to consider arguably the band's very most famous and successful song their best, but every time I listen to it I do have to question if anything else by the group is actually better.  Much is known about how Paul wrote "Hey Jude" originally as "Hey Jules", a song to John's son Julian whose parents were going through a divorce at the time.  After playing the song for John, the latter assured his bandmate that he had hit it out of the park and even years later, John continued to heap the highest of praise upon "Hey Jude" as possibly his favorite Paul McCartney song.  The first part is as good as anything gets, but of course the famous four-plus minute finale and fade-out remains one of the most well-recognized and cherished pieces of music ever.  I for one wish it was even ten minutes longer.  Not just because I cannot get enough of the "Na, na, na, nanananaaaaa's", but also because Paul's vocal addlibs during said section represent the finest vocal performance any Beatle ever gave.

1.  Let It Be

I wish I had some profound, personal story as to why "Let It Be" is my favorite Beatles song.  The truth is though that as long as I have been a fan of this band, (which has been since I believe age eleven), this has always been my favorite Beatles song.  At this point in my life, all signs point to the fact that this most likely will never change and I have long been most comfortable with this fact.  One listen to "Let It Be" again, (and I have heard it countless times), just reaffirms my feelings that even when I was a kid, I knew damn well what the best thing this group ever did was.  The title track off of the last released and second last to be recorded Beatles album, Paul wrote it as a gospel tune and two different versions were released.  I have preferred the album one since I heard it as it has George Harrison's best guitar solo.  Billy Preston also contributes fantastically with organ and electric piano.  The first minute and fifteen seconds-ish of this song is my ultimate favorite thing the Beatles ever did, just heartwarmingly soothing stuff.  I could go on and on with my love of these songs but you get the idea.  The Beatles are the world's greatest band.  Done and done.

100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS: 40 - 21

40.  Don't Let Me Down

A song with virtually three chords in it, John Lennon's "Don't Let Me Down" is his sincere plea to Yoko Ono.  One could also interpret it as a plea to himself, singing "Don't fuck this up", meaning his current relationship.  John and Yoko had already and would continue to get a good amount of shit for being a couple and though they both played it off that "love was all that mattered", John was fully aware that his career may take a few hit points in the process.  "Don't Let Me Down" is an honest, full-tilt declaration to make it all work and the simple arrangement along with Paul's equally soaring harmony vocals help slam that idea home.

39.  Nowhere Man

This would probably be another one in the top five best harmony vocal performances in The Beatles cannon.  John, Paul, and George sing virtually the entire song together and "Nowhere Man" was noteworthy at the time for being the very first Beatles song to exclusively have nothing to do with love or love themes of any kind.  John Lennon wrote it autobiographically after a five hour period pulling his hair out trying to come up with something and getting "nowhere".  Finally the song came to him complete, patience for a classic paying off.

38.  Across the Universe

Inspired in equal parts by transcendental meditation and Cynthia Lennon apparently nagging at her husband one night when the line "Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup" came to him, John toyed with "Across the Universe" around late '67/early '68.  Out of the two versions that were released when the group was still active, I have always preferred the more toned-down, bird-noises-less Let It Be one.  This was the second to be put out, the song originally appearing on the No One's Gonna Change Our World charity album released in December of '69.

37.  Rocky Raccoon

The last Beatles song to feature John on harmonica and probably the first and only to feature George Martin on honky-tonk piano, "Rocky Raccoon" is Paul McCartney's country and western, folk spoof on The Beatles (The White Album).  I have always dug this rather funny tale of a love triangle gone wrong and it is one of the few songs I know all of the words to.  Paul wrote it as a lighthearted goof, inspired by jamming with John and singer/songwriter Donovan whilst in India.  I think it fits with "Yellow Submarine" and a handful of other Beatles songs as more kid friendly and lighthearted.  Yes, even though Rocky gets shot in it. *spoilers*

36.  And Your Bird Can Sing

If I had to choose, this may actually be my favorite Beatles riff.  It was played by both Paul and George in synch with each other, John actually writing the rest of the song.  So another example of the Fabs powers combined to make one of their own songs that much better.  Lennon apparently was not that fond of "And Your Bird Can Sing", proving that sometimes geniuses can also be wrong.  I also love the "Tell me that you've heard every sound there is" moment that sounds like a key change.  Beatles songs are loaded with little nuances like this, just little tweaks to make it so every time that a part comes around, it is usually never exactly the same.

35.  All Together Now

By far the best Beatles song for children, (sorry "Yellow Submarine"), has always been "All Together Now" in my eyes.  The song was written mostly by Paul for the cartoon film Yellow Submarine, though John had some input as well.  Here or there, both were keen on writing the occasional song that tailored to kids, this one being wrapped up in about six hours on May 12th, 1967.  You can tell it was a hoot to record as well and it also has one of my favorite endings, where the tempo picks up and all of the Beatles and anybody else in the studio at the moment keeps feverishly singing along.

34.  The Ballad of John and Yoko

A very rare moment in Beatles history for a song to feature only John Lennon and Paul McCartney with no other Beatles or outside musicians was "The Ballad of John and Yoko".  John of course authored it, this one whilst on his honeymoon in Paris.  It chronicles all that had led up to that very moment in he and Yoko's almost film-script worthy dash to get married.  Upon returning, John rang up Paul and said "we gotta record it now" whilst both George and Ringo were off holidaying and making a film respectively.  The result is the most autobiographical song John Lennon had ever written at that point and the bass line is in the long list of McCartney's finest moments on a four string.

33.  Ticket To Ride

Authorship for "Ticket To Ride" is debatable as John claims that Paul's only involvement creatively was telling Ringo what to play, while Paul says the two of them hashed it out together during a three hour songwriting session.  Whether or not Paul is to credit with the drum part idea, kudos for whoever is responsible as it is one of Ringo's most memorable.  The origin as to the meaning of the song's title was also something both Paul and John apparently could not agree on.  Paul said it was in reference to "a British Railways ticket to the town of Ryde", while John said it referenced a card that whores were given in Hamburg, Germany saying they were disease free.  I certainly hope it is the funnier of the two.

32.  For No One

Another that features no John or George, just Paul on everything except that excellent French horn solo and Ringo on the drums.  Regardless of his zero involvement with the song, "For No One" was one of John's favorites of Paul's and it is easily one of Revolver's finest moments.  Great lyrics once again inspired by Jane Asner, Paul wrote it whilst on holiday with his then ladyfriend in the bathroom of all places.  Though most Beatles covers are not worth anyone's time, Emmylou Harris does arguably the best Beatles cover I have yet heard of "For No One" on Pieces of the Sky.

31.  Mother Nature's Son

One of my favorite Beatles intros is in "Mother Nature's Son".  Paul wrote the song whilst in India, inspired by a speech made by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and John supposedly threw in a few words as well.  When it came time to track it though, McCartney simply grabbed George Martin for two different sessions and did it sans-any other Beatles.  John was apparently pissed that Paul seemed to posses the patience of a five year old when given access to a studio, but (The White Album) was infamous for The Beatles being at their most divided as a band, often running about doing things on their own far more than ever.  None of it made for inferior music that is for sure, this song being proof positive.

30.  Eleanor Rigby

The first and not last Beatles song to feature zero members playing any instruments on it was Revolver's "Eleanor Rigby".  It is a Paul song, but one that got a good amount of input from a few other blokes.  George came up with the "Ah, look at all the lonely people" chorus, Ringo had the line "Writing the words of a sermon that no one will here", and band friend Pete Sheldon suggested changing Paul's original name for the priest as well as the idea to have Father McKenzie and Eleanor "meet" at the song's end.  George Martin then scored the brilliantly famous string section and the song was released as a single, supplying yet another bit of proof that The Beatles were as innovative as they were glorious.

29.  Here, There and Everywhere

Just beating out "Rigby" by a hair as McCartney's finest song on Revolver is "Here, There, and Everywhere".  Paul, John, and George Martin have all sited it as one of the bass player's finest compositions at one point or another.  Directly inspired by the Beach Boy's "God Only Knows", (another phenomenal song), Paul came up with "Everywhere" as his answer to said Pet Sounds cut.  Whether it made Brian Wilson proud or insanely jealous that the Beatles once again one-upped him, the results are as good as good gets.  It is arguably the most gorgeous Beatles song there is.  George and John's background "Oooos" are quite soothing and Paul's delicate lead is likewise stellar.

28.  Rain

Though the less famous B-side to the "Paperback Writer" single, "Rain" I nevertheless find superior.  The one-two punch of both Ringo and Paul delivering the work of their careers on their respective instruments has oodles to do with this.  Particularly Ringo, who had not nor would ever be better than on "Rain".  It is his "Moby Dick".  The song also has the Beatles first use of background anything, in the form of the vocal line near the fade out.  John's voice is also slowed down and the musical track was recorded faster than normal so that when also slowed down, it then contributed to the song's intentional sluggishness.  So, innovation and killer performances all in a song about people who bitch about the weather.

27.  Free As A Bird

To release a new Beatles song in 1995, as in one that was currently recorded and worked on and not just some old unreleased track, is about as ballsy of a task as the Threetles Paul, George, and Ringo could have taken on.  Thankfully, we got two such new songs in the process, both based off pf old John Lennon demos that were on friendly loan from Yoko Ono.  Also, both ended up being fantastic.  "Free As A Bird" was the first one that we all heard on the night they debuted the first part of The Beatles Anthology on ABC and I remember sitting by the TV, holding my breath in anticipation.  The then surviving Beatles, (along with ELO's Jeff Lynne producing), painstakingly turned John's rough cassette demo into an instant classic.  Now looking back, none of us should have been surprised that it came out so great.

26.  Tomorrow Never Knows

Revolver's trippiest track was the album closer "Tomorrow Never Knows".  Along with "I Am the Walrus", it is the most on-drugs Beatles song.  All four members contributed homemade tape-loops that were all manually layered and faded over the track in real time.  It also features backwards everything, compressed drums, a sitar and tambura, and a whole bunch going on with John's vocals.  Lennon told George Martin that he wanted to sound like a hundred Tibetan monks chanting from a hilltop.  The whole song is only on one chord, as Indian music often dictates, and it was given a Ringo malapropism for a title just because why not.  Also if you blink your eyes really fast and sway your head around when you listen to it, it is awesome.  Being high probably helps a lot too.

25.  Happiness Is A Warm Gun

An almost mini-prog epic is "Happiness Is A Warm Gun", one of the countless excellent things that happens on The Beatles (The White Album).  John wrote the song based off of a magazine that he was show which barred the title on the front.  So taken was he by the ridiculous phrase that he proceeded to use it to merge three separate things that he was working on into one song.  This is a rare moment of odd-timings being used on a Beatles song as well.  Paul and George were also highly impressed by John's creation, as both have sited it as a favorite of theirs on said double album.  John's vocal at the end is also one of his finest.

24.  Sun King/Mean Mr. Mustard/PolythenePam/She Came In Through the Bathroom Window

The writers of the 100 Best Beatles Songs book that I mentioned in the forward to this list made a rather daft decision to simply include almost the entire second side of Abbey Road as one entry, starting from "Because".  So yes, I may be cheating by including these four songs together as one, but I am not cheating as much as those guys did at least.  These four mini and full jams make up a near seven minute, compact "song" that ultimately wets your appetite for the later and even more amazing medley that wraps the album up, (more on that one in awhile).  The first three are all John joints, "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window" being Paul's contribution.  This band was so brilliant that you would think that the entire thing was written originally to sound exactly like it came out.

23.  You Never Give Me Your Money

OK, I admit that I was scratching my head when it came time to make this list and figure out exactly how I wanted to split up the second side of Abbey Road.  Many sources, including wikipedia, site "You Never Give Me Your Money" as the first song in the album's medley.  So yes, I could have done that, but I stand by throwing it on as its own thing and just a single spot above the rest of the medley that follows it.  For one, the song is over four minutes long, clearly enough to qualify it as its own stand-alone track.  Also within those four-ish minutes, it goes through a number of styles all its own, from piano ballad to uptempo rock song, to a nursery rhyme at the end.  Lyrically, Paul wrote it while being disillusioned with his band breaking up and the other three Beatles siding with Allen Klein to sort out their dwindling financial state.

22.  Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey

Next to "Helter Skelter", The Beatles (The White Album) heaviest moment is John's balls awesome "Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey".  Yes it is the longest title to a Beatles song and it is also damn near Mr. Lennon's best song on the album.  John and Yoko were in the early stages of their long, "What's everybody's problem, we just wanna be together 24/7", honeymoon phase of their relationship and John wrote the song basically saying "Hey we're good, everybody just chill".  Ultimately, this song just has a funny title, kicks all kinds of ass, and least us never forget, contains the greatest bass break in music history, "You Can Call Me Al" included.

21.  I Need You

George's second ever released song on a Beatles album was the Help! track "I Need You" and it improves leaps and bounds upon his also still solid debut "Don't Bother Me" from With the Beatles.  The volume pedal hook perfectly compliments the vocal melody and simple acoustic arrangement of the song.  A cowbell and snare is about the only percussion you hear and George's lyric to future wife Patti Harrison is most genuine.  The band recorded it on the same day that they did "Another Girl" and "Ticket To Ride", all three marking the first day of recording for the year 1965.  I would say that this is George's third best Beatles song and just about the highlight of Help!.

100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS: 60 - 41

60.  Eight Days A Week

One of the last somewhat lovely-dovey Beatles singles akin to "I Want To Hold You Hand" or "Love Me Do" was For Sale's "Eight Days A Week".  McCartney said that the title came from one of Ringo's malapropism's as well as a chauffeur that he had once who said that he had been working those many days a week.  So who knows the exact origin.  The song has another Beatles and possibly pop music first by fading IN instead of just out.  This came to be after numerous ideas where tossed around in studio to make it a bit different.  The end result is a mushy love song with a great verse and chorus and as typically great as early Beatles can be.

59.  I'm Only Sleeping

One of the most memorable backward guitar solos of all time can be found in Revolver's "I'm Only Sleeping".  George Harrison spent about an entire day painstakingly double tracking it, going for a dreamy vibe.  It is one of the many great sonic moments that Revolver has.  John penned the tune pretty straightforwardly about how fun it is to lay in bed and do not a thing.  So it is a lazy man's anthem of sorts. The entire song is slow and drony, down to the almost slurred vocals.  It effectively sounds like it was written and performed whilst laying horizontal on a mattress with many pillows and blankets.  Mmm...now I too am sleepy.

58.  No Reply

This is another one that was originally intended for another artist, Tommy Quickly in this case.  Quickly never used it so it ended up thankfully as the opening track to Beatles For Sale.  Another slightly bitter and borderline creepy lyric from John about trying to contact a possible unfaithful ladyfriend and routinely getting "no reply", the song stands out uniquely as the only acoustic album opener in the Beatles catalog until "Two of Us" off of the finale Let It Be.  "No Reply" has one of the finest middle eight sections the group ever did as well.

57.  Glass Onion

John Lennon took a tongue-in-cheek jab at Beatles fanatics whom he felt made far too much of the band's more nonsensical lyrics with the brilliantly self-aware "Glass Onion".  The third song and first to feature Ringo on drums off The Beatles (The White Album), "Onion" throws a slew of past song and lyric references in, the line "Here's another clue for you all; the Walrus was Paul", deliberately meant to confuse people even more.  Though it has always amazed me that anyone would bother at all to try and make any kind of sense of "I Am the Walrus" in the first place.  Apparently John agreed.

56.  Yes It Is

Along with "This Boy", "Yes It Is" was another B-side ballad that modeled itself similarly and likewise features some of the most impressive three part harmonies on any Beatles song.  George also busted out the volume pedal and his guitar accents are gorgeous.  The vocal melodies are soothing and intricate, making this easily one of the band's most lush ballads.  Ringo is not given all that much to do but as literally always, he does what is absolutely perfect with a tambourine and some brushes.  The best timekeeper in rock music, once again laying back and letting the rest of his band sing their asses off.

55.  In My Life

This I am sure will be far too low a ranking for anyone reading this.  I commonly see "In My Life" in the top ten of any Beatles song list so I expect some sort of a backlash.  Yet just as I adore all of these songs, plus most of the ones that did NOT make the list, and just as I had no mediocre words for "Yesterday" which I had even lower than this, "In My Life" is utterly perfect.  The sped-up piano solo from George Martin is easily the best thing that he ever personally performed on a Beatles song.  Also one could argue that Lennon penned no finer set of lyrics while in the group, certainly in their earlier period.

54.  Paperback Writer

For anyone who was lucky enough to stare at the Beatles from afar and listen to nothing but screaming girls while on their final tour, "Paperback Writer" would have been the "latest" song that they would perform.  This is noteworthy for being the first Beatles song to prominently feature the bass as a lead instrument in the mix.  McCartney played a Rickenbaker instead of his trusty Hofner and a different mic technique was used in the studio to great effect.  The song also only has two chords in it, one of the band's most famous riffs, and three part harmonies inspired by the Beach Boy's Pet Sounds.  All of this is a good thing.

53.  It Won't Be Long

The opener to With the Beatles is one of the many examples to be found of the band utilizing then unusual chords for an uptempo rock and roll song.  A critic at the time said that they utilized Aeolian cadences in "It Won't Be Long" and apparently from there, they were no longer exclusively looked at as a British boy band by the masses, but instead as crafty songsmiths and musicians.  All that aside though, "It Won't Be Long" is just a perfect example of early Beatles at their most joyous and typically bombastic.  They did not even bother releasing it as a single or playing it live, thus was hefty the amount of crowd-pleasing hits they had to indulge in instead.

52.  Here Comes the Sun

Eric Clapton enters the Beatles picture once again as a first-hand witness to George Harrison composing "Here Comes the Sun".  Clapton and Harrison were kicking it one day in the former's garden in April, acoustic guitar in hand for George when the song just came to him, pretty much complete.  It eventually found its home on Abbey Road and along with "Something", both represented arguably the two most successful and best songs that George had come up with to date.  "Here Comes the Sun" has endured as well if not better than even the best Beatles songs, the repeated "Sun, sun, sun here it comes" part is just impossible not to smile at.

51.  Because

I have already had and will continue to have many examples here of John, Paul, and George utilizing three part harmonies possibly better than any three individuals ever have.  Yet trumping all other songs on all other albums and compilations is Abbey Road's "Because".  Straight up, this is the best three-part vocal harmony in Beatles history.  John wrote it after hearing Yoko play Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" on piano, simply reversing the chords around.  Then George Martin played the opening riff on harpsichord and George Harrison added a moog synthesizer as well, creating a dark and haunting track that again, features vocals of the highest order.

50.  I Am the Walrus

The most drugged-out song lyrically in the Beatles canon is rather undeniably "I Am the Walrus".  As I said a few entries ago, to decipher the lyrics in "Walrus" is an act of futility.  It is just a glorious gobbledy gook of nonsense, intentionally so.  Lennon needed to come up with a song for the Magical Mystery Tour film and as said project was ill-advised and on all the drugs from the beginning anyway, something like "I Am the Walrus" not only HAS to be there, but also ended up being far and away the whole project's most memorable moment.  Possibly the best song that makes no sense that has ever been recorded.

49.  I Call Your Name

"I Call Your Name" was written for another group and actually got released as a B-side, (along with another Lennon-McCartney on the A), by fellow Liverpool and George Martin produced group the Dakotas.  Lennon apparently was not thrilled with said band's rendition and got his own group to record it, finding a home on The Beatles Second Album and the Long Tall Sally EP, both from 1964.  It has still remained an under the radar Beatles tune all of these decades later and as you can see, I clearly love it.  The swinging time signature change during the solo is a splendid touch, as is the cowbell of course, but the vocal melody is rare for not being harmonized and still being as good as anything else this band has put out.

48.  Sexy Sadie

John Lennon has committed a good number of biting lyrics to paper, (or wood in this case), and "Sexy Sadie" is one of the very best examples.  A rumor circulated near the end of the group's stay at their Maharishi Mahesh Yogi retreat in Rishikesh, India that the Yogi had been womanizing during the whole time and this sat not at all well with Mr. Lennon.  Most likely no truth belonged to said rumor, but thankfully John caught wind of it just the same and "Sexy Sadie" came out of it.  Originally simply called "Maharishi" and leaving literally nothing to the imagination, George insisted the title be changed as he was still rather fond of the giggling Indian guru and his peaceful ways.

47.  I'm So Tired

The second and best song in the realm of lying in bed and being ass-tired that John Lennon threw on a Beatles album was "I'm So Tired" from (The White Album).  Again written in India during the Maharishi pilgrimage, Lennon was homesick from Yoko Ono, suffering insomnia, and then the greatness that is this song became a thing.  More directly inspired by lying awake all night than wanting to be lazy on a mattress, (see Revolver's "I'm Only Sleeping"), John still slumberly sings the verses yet comes alive near the end with the phenomenal "I give you everything I got for a little piece of mind" section which definitely ranks as one of my all time favorite Beatles moments.

46.  Penny Lane

It is obvious to most that the superior in the double A-side single of "Strawberry Fields Forever" and "Penny Lane" is the former, but that certainly does not mean that "Lane" is any slouch by any means.  Just as John had been inspired by nostalgia for "Fields", Paul went even further with this one, loading it with direct Liverpool references and keeping the melody and music more on the upbeat, cheerful side.  The results are exquisite, to put it mildly.  In many ways, this is a definitive Paul song; a perfectly crafted, polished, poetic pop gem that is impossible to get sick of.  Possibly the best, (only?), piccolo trumpet solo in rock music too I would wager.

45.  Lady Madonna

Right before the Beatles headed off to learn how to meditate from the Maharishi, they quickly cut and released this single, their last on the Parlophone label in their native U.K, "Hey Jude" showing up next and acting as their own Apple Records debut.  Whether the composition or unveiling of "Lady Madonna" was rushed matters not a tit, as it utterly rocks all the same, especially for a piano song.  McCartney's bass is massive sounding and the horn section and sax solo are flawless.  Paul wrote this deliberately to sound like a boogie-woogie, Fats Domino song.  Fat's himself later covered it, thus bringing the cosmos full circle.

44.  She Said She Said

One of the more hilarious inspirations for a Beatles lyric was Peter Fonda Debbie-Downering everybody at a party in August of 1965.  Apparently the Beatles or at least John was tripping balls and enjoying himself while watching a bunch of hot girls dance around.  At this point, Fonda of all people kept coming over and talking about a near fatal gun-shot would incident that he had and that he "knew what it was like to be dead".  Lennon essentially told him to fuck off and stop ruining his buzz, but thankfully he was not too high that he forgot the indecent.  Thus, snippets of their conversation made their way into Revolver's "She Said She Said".  Musically this is a siege of three different things Lennon was working on at the time, George helping out with the arrangement.

43.  I Feel Fine

One of my favorite things about Paul McCartney is that given the opportunity, he will give the Beatles credit for inventing everything that he possibly can.  Whether or not "I Feel Fine" was the very first deliberate use of feedback on a recording and Jimi Hendrix upon hearing it came up with his whole schtick as Paul would suggest is besides the point.  What is the point is that "I Feel Fine" is awesome.  The song was rare in that it was based off of a riff, one that John Lennon came up with that was inspired by a Bobby Parker song called "Watch Your Step".  Lennon ran off and finished the song in a day, birthing their eight A-side single in the process.  Ringo also once again knocks it out of the park here, which is icing on the cake.

42.  I'm a Loser

Without realizing it, I put "I'm A Loser", (the song that almost got released as a single until John wrote "I Feel Fine" to dethrone its place), right after it on this list.  Dylan-inspired, folk goodness with the most self depreciating lyrics to date on a Beatles song, "I'm A Loser" was the second acoustically-driven song on Beatles For Sale.  It is also the slightly better one.  The harmonica solo is excellent as is the near- a capella opening harmonies.  It is the album's high-water mark and one of the first and best "serious" songs in the Beatles catalog that was not just about holding hands and buying diamond rings.  There were many more to come of course.

41.  Helter Skelter

Possibly pissed off at critics, (and maybe even John?), who routinely accused him of only writing pretty ballads, Paul McCartney came up with the real headbanguh "Helter Skelter" also to one-up The Who's "I Can See for Miles" in sheer velocity and volume.  Easily the heaviest Beatles song ever recorded, (how else does one explain Ringo's blisters on his fingers?), as well as the only bit of hard rock about a playground slide, "Skelter" has been covered by many a band that uses heavy guitars and is almost too easy of a choice for a metal act to take for the obligatory Fab Four song to do for a hoot.  I will just keep listening to the original and appreciating the innovation thank you very much.