50's Hammer Horror Part Two

X THE UNKNOWN
(1956)
Dir - Leslie Norman/Joseph Losey
Overall: MEH

Production on X the Unknown initially began with American Joseph Losey brought in to direct but after he fell sick, Leslie Norman took over and this remains his only Hammer film.  As close as can be possible to the Quatermass series without being an official sequel, (and it was originally intended as such before Nigel Kneale refused them the right to use the actual Quatermass character), X is another sci-fi vehicle where a strange, threatening form threatens to overtake the earth while British military and scientists are the only ones who can stop it.  Sadly, the movie lacks any compelling characters whatsoever and is dreadfully slow.  By the time the blob-like ooze finally gets on screen, the movie is in its last act and it has become rather tedious watching everyone try to figure out what it is while it kills people off camera.  There are a small handful of familiar faces, (Leo McKern and Hammer mainstay Michael Ripper), and a few surprising moments, but it is not one of Jimmy Sangster's most engaging scripts overall.  It is instead more or less just mediocre as well as a little dated.

THE MUMMY
(1959)
Dir - Terence Fisher
Overall: MEH

Certainly lacking in quality over both The Curse of Frankenstein and Horror of Dracula, the more simply titled The Mummy was the third Hammer Studios production to resurrect one of Universal's major monster properties.  Borrowing heavily from The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Tomb, and The Mummy's Ghost and once again pairing Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing against each other with Terence Fisher directing and Jimmy Sangster writing, all of the ingredients are here to make it another win for Hammer even if it comes up quite short.  The movie is ripe with plot holes for one.  George Pastell's Mehemet Bey has numerous opportunities to kill the people he is out for revenge against and in fact the entire plot of the film could have easily been done away with as his best opportunity is at the very beginning.  Also the mummy itself, (an excellent Lee in an eerie and mostly mute performance as Kharis), routinely gets shot up by guns which do absolutely nothing until they stop doing absolutely nothing depending on how the movie decides to end.  Both of the flashback sequences drag on too long as well and there is a good number of scenes in general that are not scripted strong enough to merit their inclusion.  It is not all together bad with the talent involved, but it is a step down nevertheless.

THE STRANGLERS OF BOMBAY
(1959)
Dir - Terence Fisher
Overall: GOOD

Continuing in his mostly flawless run of Hammer productions, director Terence Fisher helmed the historical drama, (with plenty of traces of horror to boot), The Stranglers of Bombay as a direct follow-up to The Mummy.  A fictionalized version of the British East India Company's initial investigations of the Thuggee stranglers in the 1830s, Fisher and screenwriter David Zelag Goodman both keep things moving at a sufficient pace while managing to make said cult rather intimidating.  Though it would have cut far too much into the total running time, the only improvement that could have been made would have been to possibly keep them off screen for longer periods of time.  Not showing us the plotting of their every move as the cult's full infiltration of both the military and the village plus the way that they maneuver around would have been far more frightening if left to the viewer's imagination.  As direct as the presentation is though, it is still plenty successful and some gruesome moments of torture and fitting death scenes both excellently show the studio's at the time bold, groundbreaking strides in the horror medium as a whole.  Also, an uncredited but worthy appearance by Roger Delgado, (the original Master on Doctor Who), is as nice an addition as any.

50's British Horror Part Two

NIGHT OF THE DEMON
(1957)
Dir - Jacques Tourneur
Overall: GOOD

One of the very most tragic offenders of studio interference, Night of the Demon is a near-masterpiece that is regretfully brought down considerably by the moronic post-tempering done by produced Hal E. Chester.  It is an often told and discussed story in horror cinema at this point; Chester shot additional special effects scenes against writer Charles Bennett and director Jacques Tourneur's wishes, showing the demon of the title in full view both at the beginning and finale of the film.  While watching the finished product, it becomes incredibly aggravating to think how much more success it would have been to allude to the supernatural forces as was original intended.  To be fair, the demon scenes do look great and are frightening enough, but the fact that they totally undermine how much more creepy and psychologically spooky the movie would have otherwise been is quite a detriment.  The musical score is also far too overdone and as is all too common in the horror film, the scenes that take place without any dramatic music are much more moody and effective.  Still, every person and aspect involved is commendable here except that dipshit producer who ruined it.

BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRE
(1958)
Dir - Henry Cass
Overall: GOOD

One of the most Hammery movies Hammer never made, Blood of the Vampire utilized both scream queen Barbara Shelley and screenwriter Jimmy Sangster and is set in late 19th century Transylvania.  It was also released the same year as Horror of Dracula, so if anything it can be seen as a similarly influential, Gothic horror outing that shied less away from brightly colored blood than films generally did before.  The opening scene deceives us into thinking that it really will be a carbon copy vampire movie.  Interestingly though, Sangster throws in a number of other cliche elements into the story that actually make it stand out from the boatlad of later Hammer Dracula sequels per example.  A corrupt prison, a mad scientist, a mute, a deformed servant, and blood transfusions are all here and the film borrows from enough familiar sources to at least keep one invested in the proceedings.  It does lack some of Hammer's more distinguished star power, (though Shakespearean actor Donal Wolfit does just fine as the evil prison warden/doctor), the ending falls a bit flat, and there are plenty of moments where logic is thrown out the window, but it still rides the line comfortably of harmless, gruesome fun for the times.

HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM
(1959)
Dir - Arthur Crabtree
Overall: MEH

The first American International Pictures movie in CinemaScope and color, Horrors of the Black Museum was also a co-production with the similar, UK based Anglo-Amalgamated Productions and it is as hokey as anything from either company.  Michael Gough, (who was in a gillion such British horror films long before playing Alfred in Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher's Batman runs respectfully), is delightful as the treacherous and insane journalist turned psycho killer Edmond Bancroft, though it is a shame that the movie itself is so dumb.  A present day, Jack the Ripper-styled re-telling, most of the plot details are asinine with minimal to no effort taken to explain how a character can get routinely hypnotized and sometimes have bad make-up on when he Hulks out, to more than one person catching the killer while assuming that they can bargain with him, and ultimately the killer's master plan near the end which falls apart most unsatisfyingly.  Most of the kill scenes are rather good though and the first one positively jumps at you out of nowhere.  That said, the majority of the film is boring on top of being scripted so elementary, but the dated sexism and camp value are humorous enough to be fair.

50's British Horror Part One

MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE
(1952)
Dir - John Gilling
Overall: WOOF

Several years before he made the outstanding The Plague of the Zombies and Reptile for Hammer Studios, John Gilling had the grave misfortune of directing a sure fire contender for the most abysmal thing Bela Lugosi was ever in.  The Madea of England, there were no less than seventeen goddamn Old Mother Riley movies made since 1936, but thank the gods Mother Riley Meets the Vampire would be the last of them as actor Arthur Lucan died two years after making it.  More fascinating than painful in how incredibly unfunny both the movie and especially the character of Riley truly is, Meets the Vampire is a bona fide trainwreck to watch.  The story is amazingly simple enough that a child could have written it, but it is also nearly incomprehensible as it derails into a series of ridiculous pratfalls and fast motion gags equipped with cartoon noises.  All the while, Mother Riley is the polar opposite of hilarious.  Allegedly the movie was thrown together by producer Roger Gordon who got Lugosi all the way out to England to star in a this time disastrous Dracula run on stage and the actor legitimately needed money to get back to the states.  Watching poor, poor Lugosi try and make the most of this strange, wretched movie is only for the most diehards of diehards.  For the rest of us, let us continue to forget that Mother Riley was ever a thing in the first place.

FIEND WITHOUT A FACE
(1958)
Dir - Arthur Crabtree
Overall: MEH

Noteworthy for its stop-motion effects and causing a mild ruckus at the time in its native England for its violence which only comes off as positively tame now, Fiend Without a Face is faulty yes, but just interesting enough to garnish a bit of an understandable following.  There is an American military base set up in rural Canada, (though the entire film was actually made in England), that is trying to build a radar with enough juice to spy on Russia 24/7 and of course the radiation they are experimenting with creates the title fiends that begin killing everyone around.  The story was adapted from Amilia Reynolds Long's "The Thought Monster" which was published in a 1930 issue of Weird Tales and the noticeably small budget does not quite do it justice.  The monsters and stop motion effects, (though always preferable to bad CGI), cannot avoid coming off as a bit silly once they are finally on screen and it has a bit too cliche of a "scientist unwillingly unleashes a menace" premise overall.  Plus there is a dopey love angle thrown in to likely appeal to the drive-in couples out on dates who would make up the audience for such a movie at the time.  Similar to the Quartermass films from Hammer, Fiend is also a bit slow and falls just short of being a high-water mark for the type of sci-fi horror typical of the 1950s.

JACK THE RIPPER
(1959)
Dir - Monty Berman/Robert S. Baker
Overall: GOOD

Scripted by prolific, Hammer screenwriter Jimmy Sangster, Jack the Ripper was directed and produced by Monty Berman and Robert S. Baker for their small Mid-Century Film Productions company and it is not a bad cinematic version of the often-filmed source material.  Embellishing the theory by Australian journalist Leonard Matters that the real life Jack the Ripper may have been a doctor with some twisted revenge scheme, the film successfully leads us in incorrect directions.  The twist may seem either slick or obvious depending on how much you see a twist coming in the first place, but the ending is satisfyingly gruesome and actually rather tense.  Ripper is also a bit shocking for the time period with the small amount of nudity and the exploitative nature of a number of moments which mostly revolve around a backdoor brothel operation where some scenes take place.  The familiarity of the story and structure may dull the experience somewhat, (the Ripper picks off women who are ill-advised enough to wonder alone at night, the angry townspeople grow paranoid, the cops come up with no leads, etc), but it is a decent enough thriller with some mild, scandalous merit.

50's Nobuo Nakagawa Horror Part One

KAIDAN KASANE-GA-FUCHI
(1957)
Overall: MEH

Equipped with the usual themes of ghosts out for revenge, infidelity, murdered parents, hot-headed samurai, and the spirit's usual trick of momentarily possessing the same space occupied by a living person, Kaidan Kasane-ga-fuchi, (Ghost Story of Kasane Swamp, The Depths, The Ghost of Kasane), is a very typical and mostly decent supernatural horror entry from Nobuo Nakagawa.  It was adapted from the story Shinkei Kasanegafuchi by Encho Sanyutei and was remade twice more in a thirteen-year period under the direction of Kimiyoshi Yasuda.  Kasane's plot is a bit convoluted and melodramatic, only slightly to a fault.  As usual, many of the ancient customs of the period on display here seem a bit unnecessary in making these people's lives miserable.  Though stylistically a bit theatrical, Nakagawa delivers a few spooky moments and some of the make-up effects are rather nasty for their day even if the gore is minimal as none of the stabbing deaths are shown in any detail.  It is a tad more bold than atmospheric, but this is not a problem in the slightest.

BLACK CAT MANSION
(1958)
Overall: GOOD

Possibly Nobuo Nakagawa's most well-liked film, Black Cat Mansion (Bōrei kaibyō yashiki, Mansion of the Ghost Cat), is noticeably more ambitious than his usual haunting period pieces.  With flashbacks within flashbacks, (and half of them in color while the others are in blue-tinted black and white), Nakagawa is still making a movie about angry ghosts cursing their enemy's decedents.  The formula is tweaked successfully though to make it stand out far more than it otherwise would.  Always a fan of long, occasionally elaborate takes, Nakagawa has a field day with a number of them here and they are especially moody during the beginning.  Black Cat Mansion is not without some faux pas though.  Several of the characters have a moment or two where they either contradict each other or behave illogically.  A doctor repeatedly only tells his wife that she is imagining things even when other people see the same things, the woman sighs with relief that a cat is spared during a near-car accident only to recoil in horror at seeing a live feline in the very next scene, and of course overtly angry samurai refuse to let people marry who they want during the Sengoku period section.  There are some unintentionally funny moments during the final act where a creepy cat lady sports ears and pounces around like a ballerina, but it still lends itself well to the overall strange and spooky presentation.

TOKAIDO YOTSUYA KAIDAN
(1959)
Overall: GOOD

Another of Nobuo Nakagawa's rightfully renowned horror works was Tokaido Yotsuya Kaidan, (The Ghost of Yotsuya), which sees more vengeful spirits doing what they do best.  Whether intentionally or not, the movie does get a bit comedic in how Shigeru Amachi's lemon Tamiya gets duped by his tormenting specters and goes on a frantic, borderline slapsticky killing spree, but the entire final act of the film delivers wildly where memorable horror imagery is concerned.  While it does take some time to get to these excellent moments and the pieces are set up as predictably as you could imagine for such a familiar styled tale, (this one based off the 19th century kabuki play Yotsuya Kaidan), the film never drags all that much and there are enough vile deeds committed to warrant your rooting for the revenge -seeking ghosts by the awesome finale.  Yotsuya Kaidan is also notable for its gore, but Nakagawa wisely does not rely on it as the film is bountifully atmospheric and creepy with just the occasional shots of severed limbs or mutilated faces here or there.

RKO Val Lewton Horror Part Two

THE GHOST SHIP
(1943)
Dir - Mark Robson
Overall: GOOD

The Ghost Ship was a noticeable change in direction for RKO's horror-themed films, not only because it is not a horror film really as opposed to a slow-boil thriller set at sea, but because it is the first of the studio's projects to be solidly structured and less devoid of any plot holes.  Mark Robson was back directing, hot off of editing Orson Welles' Journey Into Fear.  Ghost Ship is stylized appropriately with the usual use of shadows and mounting suspense, all the while exploring psychological madness.  Russell Wade and the hilarious named Richard Dix, (get it?), work quite well squaring off against each other and their rivalry escalates with an excellent final showdown played only to calypso music in the background, with the also hilariously named Skeleton Knaggs stepping in to help.  As an infamous side-not, a lawsuit was filed against Val Lewton over the script by playwrights Samuel R. Golding and Norbert Faulkner and Ghost Ship actually went out of circulation for a number of decades before finding its way into the public domain in the 1990s. 

THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE
(1944)
Dir - Robert Wise/Gunther von Fritsch
Overall: WOOF

Serving as both Gunther von Fritsch and Robert Wise's directorial debuts, (von Fritsch fell behind schedule and was replaced by Wise), The Curse of the Cat People is an absolute mess of a movie and one of the most disappointing sequels imaginable.  The use of three of the same characters from the first film seem insultingly forced and unnecessary as the story is so remarkably different that there is absolutely no point in linking it to Cat People in any way shape or form.  The temptation of brand recognition was as much of a thing in the 1940s as it is today apparently and sadly enough, studio heads thought it a logical move to pathetically make Val Lewton's proposed-titled Amy and Her Friend what it ultimately became.  It is difficult to say if removing all of the Cat People tie-ins would have helped since none of the story elements gel here as two movies seem to be happening at once.  Any would-be horror ingredients are so non-existent that it becomes even more baffling why the movie was made in such a manner.  There is an attempt here to use the old Lewton method of alluding to psychological tension, but the dynamics between child and parents, (Kent Smith just coming off as both a moron and an asshole), are too aggravating to work and with flaws apparent nearly everywhere plot wise, it is simply ruined.

ISLE OF THE DEAD
(1945)
Dir - Mark Robson
Overall: MEH

Plenty atmospheric and bone-chilling in a few seldom sections during the last ten minutes, Isle of the Dead is too much of a bore to surpass its unfortunately typical, RKO-worthy flaws.  For a movie that is basically based off of little more than a famous painting, Val Lewton, credited screenwriter Ardel Wray, and Mark Robson again make the most out of it.  It is an interesting be it very familiar premise to have superstition go head to head with practical science as a island full of people get picked off by the plague.  Too little actually happens though along the way and by the time the movie finally gets rather tense, a couple of dumb moves are made such as a totally lazy reason to have a woman get helplessly left behind where of course she finds herself in mortal, predictable danger a mere scene or two later.  Boris Karloff is on board though in a well written role that sees his stubborn, atheist Greek General slowly succumb to cabin fever and paranoia.  Again though, the movie is far too slow and uneventful to make his character or anyone else's as interesting as they perhaps could have been. 

BEDLAM
(1946)
Dir - Mark Robson
Overall: GOOD

The final entry in RKO's series of horror films produced by Val Lewton, Bedlam was inspired by William Hogarth's A Rake's Progress paintings, so much so that the artist actually received a writing credit on it which may be the only time in cinema history that such a thing transpired.  Aside from the superb The Body Snatcher, Bedlam is the strongest of Lewton's projects for the studio.  Boris Karloff as always can still do no wrong and this is one of his numerous stellar performances.  As the mostly dubious and spiteful master of the Bethlehem Royal Hospital, Karloff oozes both villainous charm and even empathy in small doses.  Due to a well-maintained script this time that, (rare for RKO), is devoid of mistakes, Karloff's undoing is both satisfying and plausible as is the arc of Anna Lee's Nell Bowen who grows more and more compassionate while trying to logically hide such a trait.  The movie's only horror qualities are in that it takes place mostly in an insane asylum, (and a rather one-time infamous, real life one at that), and though the cliche mental patient treatments and mannerisms we have seen oodles of times before are indeed there, performances and script alike keep everything in check.

RKO Val Lewton Horror Part One

CAT PEOPLE
(1942)
Dir - Jacques Tourneur
Overall: MEH

One of the most overrated of all horror films is Val Lewton and Jacques Tourneur's first creative work together Cat People.  While all of the focus seems to be on its symbolism and influence on the horror genre, (the use of shadows and suggestion, the Lewton buss which begat the "boo scare"), many ignore the film's many architectural flaws.  The script by DeWitt Bodeen was based of one of Lewton's own short stories, Lewton himself being a journalist, writer, and script editor before RKO hired him to produce a number of horror films on a modest budget.  Yet there are a number of inconsistent details in it.  The lauded swimming pool scene for one is rather preposterous.  Why would a woman terrified that something is about to catch her proceed to jump into a pool completely by herself with all of the lights off?  The scene does look nice, but its lack of logic undermines it.  Kent Smith is overly stiff as Simone Simon's husband and the later addition to the plot where Tom Conway's psychiatrist character also falls for her seems quite silly.  These and a few other distractions are enough to diminish the things that are indeed admirable about Cat People unfortunately and for that reason it honestly falls short as a masterpiece.

I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE
(1943)
Dir - Jacques Tourneur
Overall: MEH

Still loaded with symbolism and supernatural suggestion above anything else, Val Lewton and Jacques Tourneur's follow up to Cat People was I Waled with a Zombie, a title thrust upon Lewton by one of RKO's executives.  While it is not as unevenly structured as Cat People, the story which borrows heavily from Jane Eyre is rather dull and undercooked.  Its themes of "what's in the mind and what's real" have not aged particularly well, more because of how much influence these films had on the genre which countless other movies have borrowed from.  Said themes are also too on the nose and some of the dialog and performances, (particularly that of Tom Conway who was equally bland in Cat People), do not really help anyone's situation seem either that believable or dire enough.  Though it is deliberately structured as a low-key chiller, Zombie actually could benefit from a little more excitement and a different kind of nuance where we do not need a local musician to literally sing a song to give us expository information.  It is high on atmosphere yet too low on menace and ultimately not as memorable as it could have been.

THE LEOPARD MAN
(1943)
Dir - Jacques Tourneur
Overall: MEH

The third RKO go-round with Jacques Tourneur and Val Lewton teaming up is almost disastrously flawed.  The Leopard Man is very fittingly a companion piece to the two previous entries by the same studio and creative team, (particularly Cat People which even utilized the exact same real life leopard in both), but it exaggerates all of the flaws of what came before.  Nearly every scene is ruined by sloppy scripting.  All deaths in the movie are easily, easily avoidable, the emphasis is jarringly switched between characters, and the twist is remarkably dumb and unsatisfying.  At only sixty-six minutes, the film suffers a lot by brushing past too many things and it appears highly unfocused by doing so.  Just as in Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie, the leads fall very flat, this time both Dennis O'Keefe and Jean Brooks being as uninteresting as can be.  There are still some engaging themes being explored here and Robert De Grasse's cinematography is top notch, but even more problems get in the way this time than in Cat People.  The Leopard Man ends up being just another in a steady stream of over-appreciated horror films from the studio.

THE SEVENTH VICTIM
(1943)
Dir - Mark Robson
Overall: MEH

Amping up the disorganization, The Seventh Victim brought in Citizen Kane assistant Mark Robson, (who would go on to make several for RKO), for his directorial debut, still with Val Lewton planning out a detailed blueprint for him to follow.  This time though, post-production interference became the film's undoing as several key scenes were taken out.  Because of this, it is the most incomprehensible of the studio's stream of horror movies.  This is a shame as the premise of a posh, secret Satanic cult operating in Greenwich Village seems as idiot proof as any, but the mangled editing makes the film both aggravatingly difficult to follow and buy into.  Some of the dialog and character motivation appears downright ridiculous and the ending is particularly absurd.  It is almost impossible to decipher what the fate is of one of the film's main protagonists who more than half of the movie spends desperately looking for.  There is a scene where a psychiatrist, (Tom Conway again), says some words from a bible to the cult who generally seem to be moved by them that just comes off as laughable.  The whole movie really is so underwritten that it is difficult to follow anyone's logic or lack thereof and this would mark the forth time in a row that RKO botched up one of their properties far, far too much.

Every Office Character Ranked

EVERY OFFICE CHARACTER RANKED

I am late to the part with the American version of The Office, NBC's much beloved single camera, no laugh track, no live audience sitcom that remained one of the most viewed and lauded programs during much of its nine year run.  Honestly, the intimidating amount of episodes, (two-hundred and one to be exact), put me off of finally marathoning all of them until this year.  I do have lots of mediocre horror movies to watch after all.

Over five years after it wrapped itself up, it is old news at this point what made the show so great.  Equal parts silly and heartfelt, The Office also balanced its large ensemble cast effortlessly.  Focusing on some of its characters more than others, (Michael, Dwight, Pam, and Jim), but knowing when to use its bit players for the most appropriate punch-ups, (Creed, Meredith, Stanley, and Kevin), The Office brought several others into its ranks along the way, some memorable, some not as much.  Ergo, I felt it would be amusing to rank the cast members with the most screen time based on my fondness for them.

Also for no real reason, the single funniest thing that ever happened on this program.

The show was so focused on its ensemble cast that a list like this seems more fitting than say just picking my favorite episodes.  The writing on The Office was routinely solid and even when certain arcs were disappointing and certain characters were mismanaged, there was not a single episode of the show that did not have a laugh out loud moment or several.  A large handful of such character-driven moments managed to be quite touching to the point of making the viewer swell up as well.  So, good television all and all.

I have seen a handful of lists exactly like this one online and each one both included and disqualified different players.  My rules where thus; every character had to have been interviewed by the documentary crew and every character had to have been an employee of Dunder Mifflin at one point or another.  Now that said, I might be forgetting one or two chaps or ladies who may have got a single talking head moment and appeared in a single episode, but to the best of my research and memory, these are the names I could come up with.  Furthermore, if I did let a few people slip for such reasons, that means they probably were not worth remembering in the first place.  So here is Dunder Miff's brightest and not-so-brightest staff members, (that's what she said?)...

31.  TODD PACKER

While I will admit that there were a few instances where Todd Packer was so juvenile that I chuckled a bit, the never-ending streak of meanness that always accompanied them made him rather deplorable.  Michael Scott considering him his best friend and thinking he was so hilarious for so long made just as much sense as pick-anything-else Michael Scott ever thought, but even he eventually had enough and realized how much of an absolute jagoff this guy was.  Packer never got redeemed and even in his last appearance a few episodes before the finale, he made revenge cupcakes for the whole office and parked in a handicap spot.  So once an asshat, always an asshat.

30.  ROY ANDERSON

Slightly nudging ahead of Packer was Pam's cringe-worthy ex-fiance Roy Anderson, if only because Roy at least got his shit together and even seemed a downright catch by the last time we saw him.  This was when he owned his own gravel company, drove a fancy car, and  genuinely appeared humbled and thankful after all of his fuckups.  Yet when Roy was still employed at Dunder Mifflin and everyone was just waiting for him and Pam to finally be over with, he was a raging, inconsiderate prick who hit rock bottom after violently attacking Jim, getting fired, and then arrested at some point.  Roy hardly ever did or said anything funny throughout his run, but he was not necessarily one of the show's rare straight-men either.  He was basically almost always just there to be an asshole.

29.  CHARLES MINER

A brief yet major thorn in Michael Scott's side was Charles Miner, Jan Levinson's replacement as Vice President of the Northeast Region of Dunder Miffilin who long before Dwight instituted such a policy, became the first person to step in with a decree of no nonsense.  Miner was a classic foible for wacky high-jinks; an authority figure who technically was just doing his job correctly but at the same time came off as an unmistakable villain for spoiling everyone's fun.  Charles was not a bad guy so much as he was just a bad guy to be caught up in Scranton's branch with such eccentric and silly employees.  He not only made Michael Scott quit, (and then only return if Miner was no longer allowed to set foot in the building again), but he also pulled off the impressive feat of making Michael forget how much he hated Toby in comparison.

28. CLARK GREEN

The two new characters that were brought in for the very last season of The Office never had enough time to really connect with any of us the way the others did and the lesser of the two was Clark Green, or Dwight Jr. for a spell.  Clark seemed fine I guess even though he was a bit of a schmuck, but the guy did go above and beyond the call of duty, becoming Jan's boytoy, pretending to be Dwight's son, and putting up with getting shuffled around all for the sake of impressing his superiors and moving up in the company.  He was a yes man though not to the exasperating extent that Gabe was, but ultimately he was just kind of mediocre and more or less unnecessary, particularly showing up as late as he did when literally every other story arc seemed much more pressing and interesting than any of his.

27. PETE MILLER

Grouping these two noobs together, Pete Miller was the slightly better of the two fresh cast members in season nine, if only because the show left us with him and Erin as a rather functional couple.  That and Pete appeared to be a level-headed and decent person.  He was still pretty boring all things considered, but I would be lying if I did not laugh out loud literally every time anyone refereed to him as Plop, a nickname which was one of the very few wonderful things Andy could be credited with in that last season.  Pete was somewhat set up as a Jim Part II; a good looking, normal guy with no real ambitions who was trying to route his way through a rather exaggerated and comical workplace.  He did OK in that regard.

26. JAN LEVINSON

By all accounts Michael Scott's one time boss and love interest Jan Levinson was a horrible person. She was as delusional as anyone else on the show, but far more unhealthily balanced, regularly taking advantage of not only Michael's puppy-dog loyalty and nativity, but her entire position as Vice President of the Northeaster Region where she thought she could endlessly slack off and indulge in her nymphomania or whatever.  All of that said though, her character was embarrassingly hilarious at times, especially once she became an eccentric parent on a level that would make the Shrute's blush in envy, ceaselessly singing to her child and going to the length of recording a Doris Day cover album.  The whole horrible smelling candle making scheme was also great.

25.  DAVID WALLACE

Chief Financial Officer and later CEO of Dunder Mifflin David Wallace almost got through the entire series without ever succumbing to eccentric madness like virtually the entire rest of the cast did.  Yet once he is let go after the Sabre acquisition, the cabin fever sets in and he puts together a terrible new product idea Suck It, (a vacuum that only cleans up children's toys), and a terrible new band with his son.  So for a brief moment, he seemed to have caught a bit of the crazies.  Before all of that and once bouncing back from it though, good ole David Wallace was the sturdy, overly-tolerant higher-up who let his employees do their thing and at worst shook his head in confusion and maybe, (and very understandably), raised his voice at the tomfoolery going on.

24.  KAREN FILIPPELLI

Jim Halpert's one-time love interest turned Regional Manager Utica Karen Filippelli was rather unknowingly caught up in a love triangle in which she was doomed to emerge the loser in.  Yet really, she seemed a perfectly normal and pleasant person throughout all of it.  While that also made her a bit lame in comparison to her co-workers, she was still handled rather well by the writers who realized that keeping her around once Jim and Pam were finally together where they belonged would have unnecessarily made things more awkward than they already were.  Her line explaining her job as "an easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend isn't in love with someone else" rather perfectly crystallizes two of the major, ongoing arcs of the entire series.

22.  JO BENNETT

Jo Bennett had plenty of potential to be one of The Office's best characters, (and casting Kathy Bates assuredly helped), but she ended up being so sparsely used that she really did not get to make a full impression the way others did.  At first, warning alarms went off as Jo looked like she was going to be nothing more than another version of Charles Miner, a big bad boss lady sent in to make everyone cut the hoopla down to a minimum and get in line with her way of doing things.  Yet just like others above the Scranton branch, she put up with plenty to warrant our sympathies and had a few touching moments with Michael where she became more admirable.  Bennett was always pretty funny though and out of all of the show's no-bullshit bosses, she was the one you most wanted to root for.

21.  GABE LEWIS

Starting off with the more prestigious title of Coordinating Director of Emerging Regions for the Sabre Corporation, Gabe Lewis quickly got reduced to an unglorified babysitter for the office and virtually the butt of his co-workers jokes.  An effeminate, goofy looking, rather pathetic cuckold who only grew more so, Gabe did had some funny doings along the way.  His ridiculous soundscapes, Lady Gaga costume, and resemblance to Abraham Lincoln were all hilarious and before his pitiful attempts to win Erin back became unwatchable, he was the sad puppy of Dunder Mifflin that you felt just as at home with laughing at as feeling sorry for.  The guy rarely appears to get a break and you wish him well just as soon as he stops being a little wiener yes man who grows a pair and maybe moves back to Japan to get laid.

21.  RYAN HOWARD

Similar to Andy, Ryan Howard was the one Office character who the writers, (including B.J. Novak), continuously seemed to have no idea what to do with.  Starting as a deer-caught-in-headlights temp who seemed genuinely disturbed by how insane Michael Scott was to inexplicably getting the corporate gig in New York and becoming a blowhard little prick, to doing some jail time and then just as inexplicably coming back with no job description and getting an office space in the closet, Ryan was everywhere and nowhere all at once.  Along the way he appeared rational, spiteful, disinterested, manipulative, lazy, unfocused, scatterbrained, and kind of pathetic depending on what the script needed him to be.  As uneven as he always was, the guy was occasionally pretty amusing whether acting as the audience member and conveying "What the hell is going on here", scamming people out of money, or unhealthy flip-flopping with Kelly.

20.  MEREDITH PALMER

Along with Creed but to a less successful extent, Meredith Palmer was used as Dunder Mifflin's go-to for a quick and funny line or in her case, bit of physical discomfort.  Throughout the show, she was run over by Michael, attacked numerous times by Dwight, and Pam even unintentionally got her to shave her head when she did not have to.  Meredith was The Office's white-trash, train-wreck alcoholic who probably would have slept with everyone of her co-workers multiple times over and then forgotten about it.  She was also maybe a little too brash for my liking, almost sort of a far, far less deplorable and more harmless Todd Packer.  I for one always found myself laughing way harder at things that happened to her than the things she said.  Still, a number of those such things were some of the show's best moments so you cannot hate her in the least.

19.  ANDY BERNARD

No character on The Office was as frustratingly mismanaged as Andy "Nard Dog" Bernard.  To more extremes than Ryan was, Andy kept being used as a plot devise for both long stretches and short bursts where he was all over the place as a character.  Originally he seemed to be kind of a bro-ish jerk when working with Jim at the Stamford branch, then he became an unhinged, violent lunatic, then a weird, slightly fruity clown for awhile, and then the only character to rival Dwight and Michael Scott's utter delusion.  Sadly by the last two seasons and particularly nine, Andy was almost painfully difficult to endure.  He randomly turned into Michael Scott at his worst; obliviously narcissistic and illogical and permanently losing both Erin and his steady job in the process.  There were an abundance of moments though where Andy was lovable and great, so it is best to forget about all of the sloppy ones and how he ended up as a viral video punch-line.

18.  DEANGELO VICKERS

Yes Michael Scott's would-be replacement Deangelo Vickers was rather an asshole and a different kind of stupid, but Will Ferrell played him so Will Ferrelly that I would be dishonest if I said I did not laugh at almost everything he did.  Ferrell would have been a nice, permanent addition to the show as his eccentricities made him sit right at home in the manager's seat, but as it where, he was only on board for a slightly extended cameo before they sent him off fittingly as the only character probably on any show to become a vegetable after a basketball playing accident.  Deangelo was a bit underwritten, but he had such a brief run that he never got the chance to get more fleshed-out.  For a minute though, he had the ability to be both equally charming and rude at the same time and at least he got Michael's seal of approval before stepping down.

17.  OSCAR MARTINEZ

No regular character who held a continuous position at Dunder Mifflin Scranton since season one came as close to being a "normal" person than their token gay, Latino accountant Oscar Martinez.  Often described as the smartest guy in the room, Oscar remained baffled and concerned over what new cockameme agenda Michael Scott or any of his other co-workers where unleashing throughout the series.  Yet unlike Stanley who would just ignore it or Jim who would play along, Oscar would get flustered at how hopelessly illogical his place of employment truly was.  His arc with Angela's then-closeted gay (State) Senator husband briefly got a little too aggravatingly unresolved, but once the show did finally close the book on it, he and and his fellow accountant's reconciliation was truly touching and Oscar became easy to forgive for his misguided romance.

16.  NELLIE BERTRAM

Suffering the same uphill battles that Clark and Pete faced in season nine, Nellie Bertram appeared late enough in the series to have a similar difficult time gaining our appreciation.  While she initially comes off as arrogant and unnecessarily bitchy, it was a wise move to quickly reveal that she was utterly full of shit and the first person to own up to it.  Nellie was a treat for the last two seasons, just as lazy as Ryan or Stanley, just as incompetent at her job as Andy or Kevin, and her accidental, not-really-hook-up with Toby was one of the funniest reoccurring moments near the end of the show.  Also with one very well written scene involving her traveling magician ex, Nellie was given all the backstory required to really fall for her and it showed that even someone brought in as late as she was could be just as memorable of a character as anyone else.

15.  HOLLY FLAX

Making Toby's replacement HR Representative the person who would become Michael's true love, (when Toby of course was his true arch-nemesis), was a brilliant if very scrpity way to go about it.  From her very first appearance, Holly Flax was anything but unlikable.  The handful of episodes where she legitimately thought Kevin was retarded rank right up there with Dwight's spontaneous fire drill as the funniest shit that was ever on The Office and no character was more ripe for such a misunderstanding as Holly.  Impressively, she had all of Michael's childish playfulness and juvenile sense of humor while at the same time feeling and reacting eons more like a real person than Michael ever did.  This exact juxtaposition is what made her so enduring where we could both perfectly buy into her falling for him and at the same time respect her intelligence for doing so.

14.  PHYLLIS VANCE

Mrs. Bob Vance Phyllis underwent a gradual progression from the very first season where she was just kind of a harmless, heavyset lady who seemed like she would knit you a sweater if you asked her.  As the series went on though, I loved how Phyllis turned into a snarky shit-talker and when she was not being unintentionally, (or intentionally), mean, she was usually correct when speaking her mind.  Phyllis was also on the receiving end of a number of office jokes like how she kept utilizing the same cliches when it rains outside and when she was listening to 50 Shades of Grey on tape, of course getting Dwight to directly put a stop to it as only he knows how.  The fact that Phyllis seemed to get laid more than anyone else in the office and had the most openly and aggressively affectionate marriage out of anyone was also a hilarious touch to her character.

13.  KELLY KAPOOR

Mindy Kaling was originally hired on The Office as a writer and occasional performer and her onscreen counterpart Kelly Kapoor was a perfect addition in every way.  There probably is not a real office environment anywhere in America where a girl, (or gay man), just like Kelly is not one of their employees.  As ignorant to her own heritage and on-paper religion as she is an utter expert on the Kardashians or the Twilight series, Kelly is the type of pop culture consumer airhead who remains blissfully oblivious to anything important and seems perpetually at home prioritizing all of the wrong things.  This of course includes Ryan, who only needs to be a domestic abuser to become the worst boyfriend on earth.  Kelly's hardly any better though, which made their hilariously unstable relationship always work within the confines of the show.

12.  ROBERT CALIFORNIA

Adding James Spader to the mix whether it is the Marvel Cinematic Universe or The Office is almost always a solid idea and surprising to no one, he was fantastic on his one season of this show.  I know feelings have always been mixed on his character Robert California, but it appears that most people who did not approve of him simply could not get over the fact that Steve Carell had left as opposed to anything Spader did or did not do.  As it were, California was not only a completely different presence than Michal Scott was, but he was completely at odds with every character the show ever had.  That and Spader's fantastically vague, subtly pervy performance is what made him so great.  He was able to both intimidate and confuse his staff to the point of tears and the way they just casually explain how he got the CEO position in the first place and then just as nonchalantly as he walks out of the show with a million dollars from David Wallace made him The Office's bizarre sorcerer who left a trail of bewilderment in his wake.

11.  ERIN HANNON

Not leaving Pam out of the equation, the most adorable and delightful character on The Office was the show's other receptionist Erin Hannon.  At times it seemed like Erin was written as perhaps too dumb of a character, (after all, we already had Kevin), but her cheerful cluelessness was always worth a chuckle or several.  No matter what Erin was up to, who she was dating, or even if she was in the wrong, you always were on her side and this is as much due to Ellie Kemper's bubbly performance as it was to the writers who consistently kept her character in check.  Watching Kemper nod her head and smile, all the while knowing she had no idea what was going on whether she literally said so or not was a virtual go-to route to take in getting a laugh out of us.  I could have done without the reveal of her true parents in the series finale which was not only sappy to a fault but also was not even an arc remotely worth wrapping up, but I guess it was just thrown in to make us even more happy for her than we already were.

10.  TOBY FLENDERSON

Writer/director/producer/showrunner Paul Lieberstein's Toby Flenderson was The Office's equivalent of both Droopy the Dog and Charlie Brown all rolled into one.  As Michael Scott's forever foible, Toby was the wimpish, quiet, boring dork who lived in the back of the office where no one could be left alone long enough with him to get cornered into a discussion about his latest Chad Flenderson novel or his thorough research on the Scranton Strangler case which he just may have mentioned he was a juror on once or twice.  Toby's character went beyond just feeling bad for; he was so hilariously written as the show's hopeless loser that no matter how much Michael or life in general kept shitting on him, you just put up with it and wanted more.  No matter how much Toby got comically beaten down though, many of his coworkers still wanted to cheer him up and include him in things.  The last we hear of him, he is renting a space in New York with six other roommates and finds no more meaning in life since he is no longer being filmed.  Still, probably just a simple text or phone call from one of the Scranton crew will give him all the fuel he needs to carry on for a few more days.

9.  ANGELA MARTIN

Former Mrs. (State) Senator Robert Lipton, one time Mrs. Engaged to Andy Bernard, and now fittingly Mrs. Dwight K. Shrute, Angela Martin was written so well as the show's tight-assed, ubber-conservative, no sense of humor Debbie Downer that it almost slipped right by us that she was also technically the office's true hussy.  Angela was a laughably hypocritical, typically crazy cat lady yet through some miracle, by the series finale she had become blissfully happy in the arms of her eventual soulmate Dwight.  Even more impressive though was how we the audience slowly began to root for her.  She was not necessarily portrayed as a villain and she was always so bitchy and tightly wound that pretty much everything she ever said was a hoot, but when Dwight nearly kills her in his car and then proclaims with a megaphone before bending the knee that he would father a hundred of her babies if she had them with other men, that was basically it; we were permanently on team Angelia and Dwight.

8.  STANLEY HUDSON

The only thing keeping Stanley Hudson from being even higher on this list is really that he so openly and shamelessly cheated on his wife for so long and it is hardly the most becoming of character traits to have.  This is probably fitting though since no one on The Office gave less of a fuck about anything to the extend that Stanley did/did not.  He even legitimately scared Jim when they had to socialize in Florida together by how recklessly he wanted to not give a fuck.  Stanley was the only Dunder Mifflin employee who was never once amused by Michal Scott's clowning about antics and in one of the show's best moments, he blows his gasket and confronts him about just that.  Once out of his system though and once the two decide to put up with each other, Stanley just goes through the motions ever further awaiting his retirement, which finally arrives come the last episode.  Showing that he really is just "a big teddy bear", he even took the time in his not giving a fuck to carve a mini statue of Phyllis as a gift.  So in other words, he kind of likes things about his former place of employment as much as he pretends not to.

7. JIM HALPERT

Out of the three primarily main male characters on The Office, (also including Michael and Dwight), Jim Halpert was the most down to earth.  He found his way into Dunder Mifflin the same way that countless other underachievers have in the real world; simply looking for a steady paycheck where he could put in the minimal effort and try and figure out what he really wanted to do with his life.  Also like many of us, as the years keep rolling by he found his position just as grounded as it was when he started with no end in sight.  That is until the stars aligned and put Pam Beasley in his life, which granted after a few years of working the kinks out, finally came through in the biggest of ways.  Jim and Pam's relationship was the steady heart of the show and through it all, Jim pretty steadily maintained the ability to make himself and Pam laugh by endlessly pranking Dwight and humoring Michael or any other weirdo that came though the Scranton branch's walls.  While being a likeable goofball who was fully aware of how much his job both allowed and encouraged his goofiness, Jim also continued to grow up and always remained insanely devoted to Pam, the absolute love of his life.

6.  PAM HALPERT

On that note, Pam Beasley Halpert from episode one was the best female character and second half to the show's soul along with her eventual husband Jim.  The seasons long story arc of Pam and Jim finally getting married and becoming officially inseparable was so compelling and well written that it was almost a bit of a bummer once they finally did.  At that point, the show kind of ran out of things to do with them besides have them turn into obnoxious, stereotypical first time parents who think everything their children do is both adorable and brilliant while not being able to stop proving it to people.  I then appreciated the final season where they actually had some real and relatable troubles to go through.  Brian the camera guy never convincingly appeared as a threat to Jim, since Pam's dedication to her man could not possibly implode, close as it may have seemed.  In many ways, Pam put up with the most on The Office, (more so from her wackjob boss Michael than anyone), but she honestly seemed to love and care about most of her co-workers more than anyone else while at the same time having her own faults to overcome along the way.  Also, that one time she got hammered at the Dundies was pretty amazing.

5.  DARRYL PHILBIN

It is a shame really that Darryl Philbin took so long to become a regular on The Office, being stuck down in the warehouse until season six when Jo finally promotes him upstairs and gives him his own office proper.  He was great before that, (and Craig Robinson was always great portraying him), but just so sparingly used that it really took until past the halfway run of the series where he really got to shine.  Darryl's utterly dry delivery made it childsplay to toy with any of his more neurotic co-workers, which he did to consistency amusing effects throughout every season of the show.  Aside from Stanley, Darryl probably hated his job more regularly than anyone else working there and also seemed to make the largest efforts to distance himself from his co-workers than anyone else.  Yet also the same as Stanley, Daryl always had a soft spot deep down for Dunder Mifflin and even after he happily sailed ship to Athlead, he still had fun getting a (very) random dance off and reminiscing with the old office crew in the finale.

4.  MICHAEL SCOTT

While season one Michael Scott is indeed very rough to sit through, by the time they actually started to lighten his character up and not make him a full-blown maniac, I became impressed by how well the show managed him.  Utterly lacking in all self-awareness, Michael Scott was narcissistic, easily distracted, untrustworthy, annoying, and destructive to everyone around him.  Yet at the same time he was a idiot savant who managed to be a brilliant salesman when the time came for it and it could not be argued that his wildly unconventional management skills and disillusionment made for high productivity as the numbers the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin routinely brought in under his wing were always impressive.  Though he would forget from episode to episode to stop being a moronic asshole to people, he would also always come around and most would always forgive him.  In the end, being loved a whole lot was all that he was ever desperately going for.  Michael's final episode, (season finale cameo notwithstanding, though that was perfectly done as well), was arguably the most heartfelt moment in the entire series and how The Office managed to pull that off with such an on-paper disaster of a person is paramount in what made the show so good to begin with.

3.  KEVIN MALONE

Seemingly every TV comedy needs a bumbling doofus as one of its cast of characters and "how the hell is he an accountant?" Kevin Malone fit that bill on The Office quite well.  Overweight, bald, probably smelly, and equipped with the IQ of a ten year old and the hormones of a twelve year old, Kevin could not possibly help but to always be funny no matter what was going on.  You have him giggling at suggestive words more than Michael even did, once again Holly thinking he is retarded for real, him trying to keep Oscar's secret from Angela, his Police cover band where he does lead vocals and plays drums, and of course him dropping chili, (see GIF), and there is just nothing not to love about this guy.  It would have been sad that the season finale revealed that Kevin got fired from Dunder Mifflin if not for the fact that it makes perfect, logical sense and if anything, it always seemed rather ridiculous that he kept such a job for so long in the first place.  Yet he then buys his own bar, patches things up with Dwight, and still being a Scranton local, any office member can pretty much stop buy his place of business after work for a beer and to talk cookies any day of the week.  So Kevin got a pretty sweat deal after all.

2.  DWIGHT K. SHRUTE

After Steve Carell stepped down from The Office at the end of season seven, much of the show's absurdity fell squarely on the shoulders of proud beat farmer/lead salesmen/eventual Regional Manager Dwight K. Shrute.  Rainn Wilson made the character of Dwight instantly memorable and though he technically changed very little and remained Dunder Mifflin's most diligently stubborn employee, the way the show convinced us that everyone around him would stand behind him no matter how much he looked down upon them was just as impressive as any of the other creative obstacles this show overcame.  Dwight was as insane as Michael was, but a very unique kind of insane.  In Dwight's case, his narcissism was so cartoonishly overblown that no one, (least of all Jim), could ever take him seriously enough to actually be threatened by it.  Going one further, by going along with Dwight's madness, it just made him even easier to well, go along with.  No matter how much he was asking for every prank that Jim ever pulled on him, (and he certainly was), and no matter how many rude and selfish things he did, by the time he marries Angela, finds out he is a father, gets his blackbelt in karate, and becomes Regional Manager, you want to applaud as one of his subordinates just the way he wants you do.

1.  CREED BRATTON

It was apparent to me very early on that Creed Bratton was going to be my favorite thing on this show.  Supposedly only a slightly fictionalized version of himself, the real Creed Bratton as well as The Office version is revealed to be a founding member of The Grass Roots and an ex-hippy.  Now while the real Creed is most likely also not a senile degenerate who is wanted by the law, the show's Creed is all that and more.  Simply put, everything Creed ever did or said on this show made me laugh out loud.  In the grand scheme of things, he did and said very little and was consistently utilized as a supporting player, but when he was used it was absolutely appropriately timed and necessary.  Having no real duties to perform at Dunder Mifflin to begin with and probably just walking in one day before anyone else on the show got there and figuring out a loophole to collect a paycheck, (or not), Creed also openly has no morals and no idea what is going on at any time.  Yet he owned every scene he was ever in and so many brief yet fantastic moments as him becoming acting Regional Manager for a day, (oh how I wish that was a whole season), describing the Loch Ness Monster to everyone, writing what he thinks is his own blog, stealing people's money right in front of them, and panicking because he cannot remember what his actual job is, made him the most consistently hilarious thing the show had to offer.  Creed would not have been able to carry the entire show nor should he have, but he was perfect as he was and The Office would have been such a different and less awesome thing without him.