2019 Horror Part Seven

VIVARIUM

Dir - Lorcan Finnegan

Overall: GOOD

A highly effective if not all together unambiguous delving into the seldom tapped realm of soccer mom horror, Vivarium paints a puzzling and disturbed picture of domesticated suburbia.  An international production directed by Lorcan Finnegan and authored by screenwriter Garrett Shanley, (both Irish and both of whom also worked together on their collective debut Without Name), it explores themes of parenthood and complacency and skews things to Twilight Zone level extremes.  In the process, people's humanity is brought to the brink of collapse by such surface level idealness becoming an increasingly, unavoidable nightmare.  Besides three enormously creepy performances from actors both literally and probably playing the same character, Imogen Poots and Jesse Eisenberg are essentially left to carry the entire film and their descent into despair is effectively harrowing.  Visually, the movie makes its picturesque and sterile setting full of identical, perfectly maintained homes and a never changing, sunny skyline quite unwholesome.  Rather appropriately then, the ending is tightly wrapped up only on a surface level as the deep, dark secrets lie underneath it all and are as impenetrable as when the film began.

Z

Dir - Brandon Christensen

Overall: MEH

 

Generally, the imaginary friend horror trope is one of many utilized in haunted house stories again and again, so singling it out as the basis for an entire premise does not set things up in a very unique fashion.  Sadly, it does not get any more singular from there in director Brandon Christensen's Z.  Everything from spontaneous and ill-advised baths, to a kid behaving like a brat and the father finding nothing wrong with it, to no one believing the hysterical woman, to supernatural forces arbitrarily fucking around and wasting time, it all provides the film with the most lazy methods to create a would-be creepy mood and bring things from point A to point B.  While it is surprisingly low on jump scares, it makes up for it by punctuating nearly every single scene with loud ambient swells to the point of annoyance.  In any event, the movie is far too formulaic in both cinematic presentation and from a narrative standpoint to spark much interest outside of providing just a small handful of boilerplate, predictable jolts.

GIRL ON THE THIRD FLOOR

Dir - Travis Stevens

Overall: GOOD

The full-length debut from filmmaker Travis Stevens, Girl on the Third Floor initially sets itself up as a typical "family from the city moves into a creepy old house" movie, yet it consistently ventures into unexpected terrain.  Mostly well scripted and featuring an often funny, toxic masculinity-parodying lead performance from CM Punk, it technically takes a slow boil approach while avoiding all of the commonplace, supernatural pratfalls that such films often abuse.  Though it ends up taking a full hour until things start to go especially cuckoo, once it does, the results are a fun combination of gross-out spectacle, WTF aesthetics, and disturbing creepiness.  With so much on its plate, things easily could have become messy or poorly focused.  Stevens controls it all rather effectively though, due to the increasingly surreal nature that lends itself well to when things get laugh-out-loud absurd.  The ending is a bit rushed and awkward though again, it is not particularly disappointing due to the strange nature of the entire presentation.  Imperfect perhaps, but easily refreshing and odd enough to single out.

2019 Horror Part Six

THE LODGE

Dir - Veronika Franz/Severin Fiala

Overall: MEH

The latest from Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala, (Goodnight Mommy), The Lodge was original scripted by Sergio Casci, then reworked by the Austrian director duo after Hammer Films got them on board.  For a considerable while, the movie works wonderfully as an unnerving psychological nightmare that patiently builds its ominous tone.  Though it uses some familiar narrative tropes like an isolated location in the middle of winter, a mentally unstable, medicated protagonist who is quick to disturbed, walking dreams, and an ideal situation for a haunting to be taking place, these conventions are weaved compellingly.  A bold move is taken though in how the mysterious plot points are ultimately explained.  By slowly cranking up the tension and letting the character's religious struggles overtake them, an attempt was made to make the final rug pull gloss over the now apparent plot holes and "Oh, that's all that was going on?" disappointment of such a reveal.  What follows though is just staggeringly depressing and clashes in a more uncomfortable way than what was being previously established.  While it fumbles the ball when it counts, the lead performance by Elvis Presley's granddaughter Riley Keough is excellent and forgiving viewers can certainly get enough out of what is expertly done before the final act.

DOGS DON'T WEAR PANTS

Dir - J-P Valkeapää

Overall: GOOD

 

For J-P Valkeapää's dark, quasi-thriller/comedy Dogs Don't Wear Pants, (Koirat eivät käytä housuja), that often strange and primarily unspoken bond between dominatrix and pet is fascinatingly explored.  The film has obvious elements of eroticism, but also moments that dip into torture porn for those squeamish about more things than whips, leather, erotic asphyxiation, and water sports.  Akin to Bernardo Bertolucci's masterpiece Last Tango in Paris though, its primarily a deeply harrowing drama about extreme grief manifesting itself through sexual taboos.  Some of the film is played for laughs, but these moments wisely come from not just the audience finding amusement at the on-paper absurdity of certain moments, but the characters as well that seem to be comprehending in real time how such seemingly unhealthy kinks have zombiefied their very lives.  Valkeapää does not let the viewer off easy by thinly riding some intentionally awkward, comedic beats as they are all accompanied by a rather desperate despair that causes some quite disturbing events to snowball.  If the movie ended on more of a downer, than it would likely be too much to bare.  Instead, the characters seem to find a sort of happiness or at least fittingly odd acceptance of where their journey has brought them.

THE CLEANSING HOUR

Dir - Damien LeVeck

Overall: WOOF

Ill-fated with a hokey premise and an almost criminally schlocky presentation, Damien LaVeck's The Cleansing Hour is a full-length adaptation of his earlier short of the same name.  LeVeck is clearly going for such a trashy, loud, messy, bloody, B-movie vibe, but the hack-level comedy jives in a most embarrassing fashion with the more modern day, disturbing qualities that it simultaneously launches into.  It is a common tonal issue problem of not being silly or serious enough in either direction, instead just lingering awkwardly and stupidly in the middle.  While it is impossible to take the movie seriously then, one has to have a craving for not just gross-out gore, amateurish CGI, and demonic possession stereotypes left and right, but also bro-centric posturing and the concept of an evil spirit that spouts incessant, groan-worthy cliches in a distorted voice.  All of this is meant to be bad-ass and amusing, but instead it is neither of those two things.  Not by a long shot.

2019 Horror Part Five

THE PLATFORM
Dir - Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia
Overall: GOOD

A bold, quasi-horror/science fiction film and the full-length debut from Spanish director Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, The Platform, (El hoyo), takes a savage, uncompromising look at socialism and the distribution of wealth.  Based off of a script for a theater production by screenwriters David Desola and Pedro Rivero, the premise becomes unsettling rather quickly and Gaztelu-Urrutia does not make things easy on the viewer at virtually any point, lest of all as the story progresses.  Things never become gratuitous though; instead there is a definite purpose to the brutality.  While numerous movies feature a prison with a disturbing gimmick to overcome, The Platform does not make such a gimmick its primary focus.  Instead, it is the social and economic themes that take center stage.  Featuring unflinching violence and torture porn aesthetics, few punches if any are pulled and those who are squeamish may find it an unpleasant experience that is not worth the complicated questions it raises.  For those that can stomach the highly uncomfortable proceedings though, it is an impressive work.

SWALLOW

Dir - Carlo Mirabella-Davis

Overall: GOOD

Taking the wildly overlooked premise of pica, (a disorder where individuals are compelled to consume inedible objects), Carlo Mirabella-Davis' Swallow is off to a unique start.  While its classification as a horror film is murky at best, it works far better as a psychological study of not just the rather bizarre mental condition, but more importantly such topics as narcissism and emotional belittlement.  In the lead role as a woman who came from trauma only to be "lucky" enough to end up as the complacent housewife to a wealthy, handsome future CEO of his even more well-to-do father's company, Haley Bennett is consistently sympathetic even as her behavior spirals recklessly.  At times, Mirabella-Davis' script seems to portray its less agreeable characters too broadly, but then moments will arise that humanize them just enough to make them less one-dimensional by not outright condoling their actions.  This all grounds the movie considerably, showing the human flaws of everyone involved.  The open-ended finish may not necessarily bring proper narrative closure, but it is uplifting all the same and lets the audience ponder things themselves.

I TRAPPED THE DEVIL

Dir - Josh Lobo

Overall: MEH

 

The debut from independent filmmaker Josh Lobo, I Trapped the Devil is fiendishly atmospheric yet bogged down by amateurish plotting and performances.  The premise leads itself to some sinister, psychological manipulation for its characters, but the script does not take quite enough advantage of this aspect.  Lobo is instead primarily concerned with curating a very tense, eerie mood, though he does so at the expense of believable storytelling.  Minor, unnecessary plot holes spring up and everything is left so cryptic that the whole thing garnishes a half-baked kind of feel.  At times the three leads in A.J. Bowen, Scott Poythress, and Susan Burke seem properly weighed-down by the suffocating ambience, but at other times their line readings are a bit stiff.  Loblo ultimately leaves too many things ill-defined and wide open though not in a successfully pondering way.  What the film achieves in maintaining a slow-boil, heightened type of dread is indeed admirable, but everything else about it does not quite come together satisfyingly.

2019 Horror Part Four

DANIEL ISN'T REAL

Dir - Adam Egypt Mortimer

Overall: GOOD

The sophomore effort from writer/director Adam Egypt Mortimer, Daniel Isn't Real is an adaptation of Brian DeeLeeuw's novel In This Way I Was Saved, (DeeLeeuw co-writing the screenplay here as well).  Staring two sons of famous actors in Miles Robbins and Patrick Schwarzenegger, it plays with an interesting premise of mental illness manifesting itself both literally and disturbingly.  Mortimer lets loose with some freaky, body horror visuals, preferring to tease many of them almost subliminally in a tripped-out fashion as the story becomes more and more unraveled.  Though the film plays heavily on its psychological elements, things do become more directly supernatural after awhile.  Thankfully, Mortimer peels back these layers in a stylish and controlled manner as not to make things fall apart too much as they easily could have.  While it does not follow its own narrative rules 100% consistently and both Robbins and Schwarzenegger may be a bit too dashing and pretty to be as relatable as would be preferred, it is a solid work that does more than enough cleverly to recommend.

COLOR OUT OF SPACE
Dir - Richard Stanley
Overall: GOOD

It ended up taking Richard Stanley twenty-three years since the legendary debacle that was 1996's The Island of Dr. Moreau, (for which he developed and was then fired from a mere three days into shooting), to get another full-length project off the ground.  With such an outrageous gap, the resulting H.P. Lovecraft adaptation Color Out of Space may as well be a debut and a vividly demented one at that.  Using such source material, it pulls off a nifty trick by having increasingly ridiculous performances and dialog fit the steadfast Lovecraftian theme of madness.  The more things unravel and the more comical they become, the more the author's work faithfully comes to life.  In a role tailor-made for him, Nicolas Cage once again goes full Nicolas Cage, indulging in numerous scenes where he screams, becomes violent, screams some more, changes his accent, and then follows it up with more screaming.  Elsewhere, Stanley lays on the cliches too thick at times, with a couple jump scares, a creepy kid talking to invisible things, (seven year old Julian Hilliard who has to date appeared exclusively in horror movies playing creepy kids), and predictable shots that are all meant to be scary yet have been tediously overused to the point of no longer connecting.  Still, it is a mostly satisfactory work and always nice to see a filmmaker returning after so very long with a fully-formed vision in tow.

VEROTIKA
Dir - Glen Danzig
Overall: WOOF

Only every so often does a cinematic trainwreck gem come along that truly deserves a standing ovation.  Verotika, (the directorial debut from Glen Danzig), is just such a gem.  Awkwardly void of self-awareness with every last frame, Danzig employs a lack of talent behind the lens akin to such contemporary non-filmmakers such as Tommy Wiseau or Neil Breen.  It is a baffilingly hilarious experience more than could even be expected.  Of course when you are talking movie-making incompetence, it is not just bad acting on a criminal level, cheap sets, clueless cinematography, asinine dialog, and incoherent or even non-existent screenwriting, all of which this has in incalculable spades.  It is also just the complete inability to pace any of the scenes in a remotely engaging manner.  The three vignettes that make up this anthology "film" rely on a short, sentence long premise and continue to go virtually nowhere in every single instance as they are played out on screen.  Often times the dialog is as embarrassing as the "actors" delivering it, which is hard to imagine upon viewing.  By an overwhelming majority though, Danzig just refuses to yell "cut" and these poor people on screen are simply left to their own devices.  This makes every single moment that the camera keeps staying on them more and more uncomfortably ridiculous.  Whatever he was trying to accomplish, it is impossible to comprehend how he was not making an intentional comedy.  You really have to see it to believe it and even then, you still will not believe it.

2018 Horror Part Six

WHAT KEEPS YOU ALIVE

Dir - Colin Minihan

Overall: MEH

This solo venture from writer/director Colin Minihan of the Vicious Brothers fame, (Grave Encounters), takes a slow boil approach that unfortunately leads into borderline insulting rubbish.  What Keeps You Alive makes some interesting moves, focusing on a same sex couple for one thing and pulling off one thoroughly exciting rug-pull early on.  Outside of that though, it stretches plausibility to a breaking point and quickly becomes an exercise in illogical storytelling and the type of slasher movie tropes that have long aggravated viewers.  In fact it manages to push such moronic cliches even further, spending its last two acts letting both victim and pursuer get away with schlock-level nonsense.  That said, Minihan handles everything in a fairly respectable way.  The movie is artful in many instances and the lead performance from Brittany Allen, (who also composed the effective musical score), is quite strong.  It is a shame that the film could not continue in the more singular direction that the first act may have hinted at, but its few redeemable qualities are worthy of some recognition at least.

CLIMAX

Dir - Gaspar Noé

Overall: MEH

 

The latest from contentious, Argentinian filmmaker Gaspar Noé is on the one had both simple and wildly ambitious.  Climax is an exercise in style over substance to be sure and features the type of confrontational, brazen approach the director is routinely known for.  Featuring an ensemble cast made up almost entirely of dancers with no previous acting experience, no script or written dialog, the ending credits at the very beginning, the opening credits midway though, some of the on screen text backwards, some of the cinematography upside down, and one continuous take lasting over forty-two minutes which makes up nearly half the total running time, it is about as conventional as a Naked City live performance.  One can scarcely deny the technical skill on display and the dance sequences and overall visual spectacle of it leads one to at least champion Noé's bold creative moves on a surface level.  As far as actually being able to enjoy watching the movie though, that is a different story.  While certainly fascinating, it is unavoidably tedious far before the extended descent into chaos takes center stage.  At that point there is literally no break from the improvised insanity on screen so sticking it out is an exhausting experience.

 

POSSUM

Dir - Matthew Holness

Overall: MEH

The full-length debut Possum from English comedian/writer/actor Matthew Holness seems to have been made with respectable intentions, but is almost obnoxiously unwatchable.  Based off of his short story of the same name which appeared in the 2009 anthology book The New Uncanny: Tales of Unease, Holness draws direct inspiration from silent, German Expressionism, Dead of Night, George A. Romero's Martin, and old British public information films.  The simple premise is ideal enough to warrant an unnerving end result, the lead performance from Sean Harris is rather committed, (though his mumbled dialog is literally unintelligible throughout), and the cold, grimy look is appropriately atmospheric.  Two very persistent issues undermine the entire thing though.  One, the sound design is eerie and un-melodic yet annoying punctuated by deafeningly loud bangs and shrieks literally EVERY SINGLE TIME the very creepy title monster appears on screen.  It is highly disturbing enough to look at in its own right and the fact that we are never allowed to experience it without such gross overuse of jump scare tactics is unforgivable.  Secondly and even more problematic is that the pacing is comatose-inducing.  Very little happens and with so many ear-piercing noises increasingly screaming at you, good luck even getting a nap in while you are waiting for the whole ordeal to be mercifully over with.

2018 Horror Part Five

CAM

Dir - Daniel Goldhaber

Overall: GOOD

 

Despite one or two semi-annoying plot conveniences present in order to propel things along, Cam, (the debut from director Daniel Goldhaber and screenwriter Isa Mazzei), is an effectively creepy tech horror outing.  Apparently, Mazzei originally intended to make a documentary about the camgirl industry, (herself having previously been one), yet as there has already been an influx of those in recent years, her and collaborator Goldhaber wisely chose to craft a horror movie around such a premise instead.  The script does not quite convincingly sell us on the fact that no one will help the odd yet easily provable predicament that Madeline Brewer's protagonist faces, but this does lead to concerning questions revolving around the sex industry in general.  When not taken seriously, women in it can be easily preyed upon and left hanging without a safety net and parallel to this, one's identity can be lost amongst such a competitive, toxic environment.  Mazzei maintains a strong, feminist angle and the movie does not exclusively denounce the camgirl lifestyle.  Instead, it is part cautionary tale, part social commentary, and part good ole spooky and disturbing horror movie, all done rather inventively.

 

HIGH LIFE

Dir - Claire Denis

Overall: MEH

The latest from French writer/director Claire Denis, High Life is the type of tranquil science fiction that unmistakably hearkens back to Andrei Tarkovsky's landmark Solaris.  Rather exclusively concerned with weighty, human-centered themes in place of compelling storytelling, Denis indulges in a profound level of patience that will easily perplex most viewers.  The film is not dialog heavy to begin with and when most of it is spoken in a barely intelligible mumble, this coupled with the ethereally vague, non-linear plotting makes for a challenging ordeal.  Denis is too good of a filmmaker to let such a lackadaisical approach to her material be for naught though.  Concerning the characters' hopeless isolation and crumbling turmoil under such a strain, the fact that the movie assuredly feels its one-hundred and ten minute running time is entirely intentional.  It is beautifully photographed by Yorick Le Saux and the design work by Danish/Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson is appropriately lived-in and unassuming.  The film ultimately does not have enough unique ideas to justify how demanding it is to experience, but it is a commendable work that may reward those with the diligence to try and unearth what its layers may be hiding.

OUR HOUSE

Dir - Anthony Scott Burns

Overall: MEH

 

While it seems positively ridiculous that we have arrived in an era in horror banality that film's are getting remade in their native country a mere eight years later, the Ghost in the Machine redo Our House is not altogether regrettable.  Ignoring the fact that its mere existence is rather unnecessary at best, there are the standard issues with modern horror in a staggering amount of loud jump scares, predictable supernatural set pieces, and a severe lack of anything remotely frightening taking place.  Some of this may come down to the user-friendly, PG13 rating which is conventionally streamlined to follow most of the rules.  That said though, director Anthony Scott Burns and British screenwriter Nathan Parker offer up a few somewhat surprising upsides.  For one, the characters actually let each other in on the ghostly activity they witness almost immediately, making for a consistent stream of logical behavior from them.  Though it takes quite a long time for anything spooky to start happening, this benefits the story as it provides ample opportunity to make everyone likable which they thankfully remain throughout.  It stays too cookie-cutter to make it anything close to memorable, but there are far worse offenders being regularly churned out so it is also not nearly as big of a waste as it easily could have been.

2018 Horror Part Four

SUSPIRIA
Dir - Luca Guadagnino
Overall: GOOD

Luca Guadagnino's well-intentioned Suspiria remake can be seen as a poster boy for the "Why have it be a remake in the first place?" conundrum.  The film is so wildly different from its predecessor in so many capacities that it is a shame that it cannot be its own thing.  Instead, all the ambition, interesting themes, remarkable performances, elaborate cinematography, beautiful Thom Yorke score, and grandiose style need inescapably be compared to Dario Argento's supernatural giallo benchmark.  Guadagnino and his screenwriter/collaborator David Kajganich are at once concerned with paying homage to the film that they are reworking, but there is also simultaneously a definite determination to make it as unique and singular from it as possible.  Changing the character names and removing a couple clear nods to the 1977 version would essentially be all it would take and voila, THIS Suspiria could instead be a mere tribute in spirit instead of something permanently linked to that version.  What Guadagnino and everyone on board here has crafted is a highly challenging art film that should belong in its own universe and be judged solely by its achievement as a movie; not as something that is co-existing with one of the most lauded and individually outstanding works in the horror genre.  Unfortunately "flawed" from the get-go then, it is a frustrating accomplishment that flies close but can never achieve the legendary status it otherwise might.

ANTRUM

Dir - David Amito/Michael Laicini
Overall: GOOD

Points at least must be given to David Amito and Michael Laicini's Antrum, (Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made), for its uniqueness if anything else.  While it is assuredly a mess, the presentation is so unorthodox that it remains fascinating in spite of or because of its bizarre construction.  Beginning as a mockumentary about a 1979 cursed movie that until recently was presumed lost, it quickly shifts gears and simply shows a possibly tampered-with print of said movie in its entirety.  While the film within a film is puzzling enough and seems to embellish multiple sub-genres, it also has an extended post credit scene and then more faux-documentary footage interrupting the real ending credits.  The sound design is rather fantastic as is the equally ethereal and unnerving music from Alicia Fricker.  There are also enough strange, creepy visuals almost subconsciously thrown in to further emphasize the movie's alleged, dangerously mystical quality.  At the same time though, the pacing is largely comatose, the plotting borderline incompetent, and the jumbling of styles could come off to some as if Amito and Laicini were trying to have their cake and eat it too by making several movies at once at the expense of each.  An argument can be made that it overextends itself, but its boldness is admirable.

THE MEG

Dir - Jon Turteltaub

Overall: MEH

 

A by the books, B-movie with enough action film cliches to consistently roll ones eyes at, The Meg has the dumb in all the appropriate places.  Stuck in development hell for two decades and run through both Disney and New Line Pictures before ending up at Warner Bros. with Jon Turteltaub of 3 Ninjas, National Treasure, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice fame directing, its schlock level is adequately mainstream-friendly.  Jason Statham plays the only character he is ever allowed to and fits the well-trodden mold of "misunderstood tough guy with a heart of gold who reluctantly goes back into action because he's the best of the best".  Amongst all of the hammy-to-terrible platitude-laden dialog, ill-timed comic relief, and textbook plot points that only happen in the movies, (like why is Rainn Wilson's paycheck-signing billionaire consistently putting himself directly in danger along with actual trained professionals?), there is also an odd, reoccurring theme of characters making the immediate decision to sacrificing their own lives unnecessarily.  Anyway, it is everything one would expect in a big, loud, splashy monster movie so enjoy your popcorn folks.

2017 Horror Part Nine

THE ENDLESS
Dir - Justin Benson/Aaron Moorhead
Overall: GOOD

The follow-up to their quite excellent, 2014 film Spring, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead's The Endless acts as a quasi-sequel to their collaborative debut Resolution.  Essentially Lovecraftian horror with nods to Twin Peaks and the Heaven's Gate cult, it ends up being a highly unique, ambiguous hybrid that very gradually becomes more unnerving as it goes on.  The performances by Benson and Moorhead in particular are both convincing and funny, consistently mumbled dialog aside.  Though it has a slightly awkward finish, the filmmakers balance their more comedic tendencies for the most part with an intriguing and bizarre story that frequently circles back to its dominant, mysterious tone.  The movie confidently poses more questions than providing answers and some may be unwilling to forgive the cryptic leniency, but it most likely will benefit those who revisit it.  Which is actually one of the main plot points of the film itself; returning to something to obtain closure yet instead unlocking more boxes to challenge that closure.  The fact that such an interpretation can be either way off or right on the nose is one of the things that make the movie work in the first place.

ONE CUT OF THE DEAD
Dir - Shin'ichirô Ueda
Overall: MEH

Essentially a (very) long build up to a (very) long joke, Shin'ichirô Ueda's One Cut of the Dead, (Kamera o Tomeru na!), tries the viewers patience to an aggravating extent.  To the film's credit, it is wildly ambitious for such an independent film and if you absolutely have to make yet another goddamn zombie movie, it is admirable that Ueda here chose such a highly unorthodox way to go about it.  On the technical end of things, the opening thirty-seven minute, single take is quite impressive as is the third act which goes it one further and brings everything rather ridiculously together.  It is a shame then that the road to get there is so boring and off-puitting.  The first segment just goes on and on and with no context, (as that would spoil the finish), it just seems clumsy and juvenile.  Ultimately, the whole movie comes off more like a prank that overstays its welcome where the payoff is fun for everyone not being pranked, yet the victim of such a jest will be left brimming with an awkward mixture of anger, humility, and eventually honest amusement.

THE BAR

Dir - Álex de la Iglesia

Overall: GOOD

 

Another top-notch, wonderfully dark and violent entry from Álex de la Iglesia, The Bar, (El bar), was the first of two films released in 2017 by the director, the other being the straight comedy Perfectos desconocidos which was a remake of the previous year's Perfect Strangers from Italian filmmaker Paolo Genovese.  As far as this one is concerned, it utilizes an almost Hitchcockian gimmick, (people trapped in a single location that they cannot leave), and it follows the usual patterns of such high-tension thrillers where the characters quickly and aggressively begin to not trust each other, resulting in much mayhem ensuing.  Said mayhem is consistently amusing and increasingly, (as well as literally), messy.  While de la Iglesia sees the mysterious, quarantine-based origin of what starts off his character's predicament as being of little importance, in doing so he emphasis that the real threat is merely normal people reacting paranoid under extreme circumstances.  The plot avoids having any kind of payoff in this respect which might aggravate anyone hoping that the entire thing was leading to something more profound.  The lack of a twist though is actually refreshing and it rather becomes a twist in and of itself that it does not have one. 

2017 Horror Part Eight

TIGERS ARE NOT AFRAID

Dir - Issa López

Overall: GOOD

 

A strong offering from Mexican filmmaker Issa López, Tigers Are Not Afraid, (Vuelven), is an unflinching and dark fantasy/narco-crime film hybrid.  The title is frequently referenced throughout and serves as the steady theme of overcoming extreme childhood trauma.  The cast is almost exclusively focused on orphaned kids whose parents have been picked-off by the cartel and now have to rather brutally fend for themselves.  Referencing the Narcosatanists and top to bottom corruption, López does not shy away from the very real and disturbed lifestyle these children find themselves unwillingly in and it is all quite heartbreaking and uncompromising in its depiction of hopeless violence at the hands of nearly every adult they encounter.  The movie certainly works best in this very grounded context.  When it comes to the supernatural fantasy elements though, things are very ill-defined and almost haphazardly thrown in.  Thankfully the presentation is so strong and the movie is emotionally powerful enough to forgive certain moments where it does not seem to know how to logically weave its horror genre components into things.

MOM AND DAD

Dir - Brian Taylor

Overall: GOOD

 

This genuinely fun and gruesome comedy from Brian Taylor has him reuniting with an always gonzo Nicolas Cage after Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance from six years prior.  Working away from his frequent collaborator Mark Neveldine this time, Mom and Dad is still done in the trademark frantic, combative style of Taylor's other works.  It perfectly suites the material in this regard where the majority of the film indulges in delirious violence, this time set in the white picket fence, soccer parent-friendly suburbs.  Cage of course is ideally present and doing essentially what people hire him to do at this point which is to dial it up to eleven and perform as if he is trying to simultaneously terrify and amuse every other character in the movie as well as everyone at home watching him.  Taylor's screenplay only offers up a vague, deeper meaning of domesticated stress and crushed dreams manifesting themselves in a blind rage towards the objects of such torn feelings of disappointment, meaning one's very own children.  It is more focused on clever set pieces and a consistent tone of dark humor that forgives its rather bare bones narrative and borderline sudden finale.  For Cage fans alone it is a must and thankfully there is enough else present to warrant sufficiently disturbed giggles.

TERRIFIED

Dir - Demián Rugna

Overall: GOOD

The latest and somewhat unique, supernatural genre film Terrified, (Aterrados) from Argentinian writer/director Demián Rugna, plays many of its cards rather interestingly.  While it does feature some standard poltergeist activity, psychic experts, a conventional horror movie score, and a jump scare hither and tither, Rugna's script fuses these with a rather singular premise.  The story is not concerned with properly explaining any of the highly spooky goings-ons, but the idea of multiple hauntings on a single block bringing in multiple paranormal researchers and detectives on board and then told at various intervals in flashback does not really follow the standard point A to point B plotting for such films.  The set pieces themselves are frequently creepy and benefit the keen viewer who does not blink often and pays particular attention to what is lurking in the background.  Besides parts of it coming off rushed and a few curious reactions from actors who do not seem to be as terrified as they logically should be, it is impressively a few notches above average and done with enough unorthodox tweaks to recommend.

2016 Horror Part Ten

THE CONJURING 2

Dir - James Wan

Overall: MEH

The third installment in the Conjuring cinematic universe and second to find James Wan returning to the director chair, The Conjuring 2 is a similarly textbook example of modern supernatural horror sensibilities for which Wan particularly is a consistent enforcer of.  While he surprisingly shows some level of restraint in keeping the jump scares down to a minimum, (at least for him), and the script rather quickly lets every character witness ghostly happenings in a group as opposed to seeing them individually and mentioning them to no one for the first two acts, the film still buckles to many other overused hallmarks.  Evil entities follow the rules of there being no rhyme or reason to their mischief and generally only perform their arbitrary tricks when it is in the middle of the night, they are asked to do so by psychic investigators, or when the music gets either all spooky scary or jarringly quiet for another patented psyche-out.  Said entities in this case are hardly interesting, (a crotchety old man), or cartoonishly silly and merely shoehorned in there for future franchise inclusion, (the Nun and the Crooked Man).  It is conventional to a fault and the ending is borderline ridiculous, but Vira Farmiga and Patrick Wilson's highly fictionalized Warrens do provide a strong, heart-felt undercurrent at least.  For shameless popcorn horror, it fits the mold for those who crave such things.

 

TRAIN TO BUSAN

Dir - Yeon Sang-ho

Overall: MEH

 

In his live action debut, South Korean filmmaker Yeon Sang-ho tackles a rather ambitious zombie outbreak film with Train to Busan, (Busanhaeng).  While there are moments of humor dashed about, things becomes super dark and ultimately almost unwatchably depressing by the incredibly heartbreaking end.  For those expecting a mere popcorn zombie movie, the dizzying action and frantic pace that tries to catch up with the aggressively fast, infected ghouls this round may be misleading in conjunction with the bleak avenues that the movie progressively goes down.  It does not necessarily uplift itself from its gimmick, (zombies on a train), and unavoidably features conventional characters and conventional predicaments for them to overcome that are in nearly every other film of the same irk.  At the same time though, it is anything but a B-movie production, both in its very fleshed-out, emotionally-fueled script and over-the-top action sequences that are successfully on par for walking (or running in this case) dead movies of the modern era.  There is nothing really here that is able to elevate it over the massive burn-out this sub-genre has succumbed to, but for those who cannot get enough, it is as decent as they seem to get.

THE MONSTER

Dir - Bryan Bertino

Overall: WOOF

A borderline abysmal offering that balances between monotony, miserableness, stupidity, and annoyance, Bryan Bertino's The Monster fails staggeringly.  Centered exclusively around an abusive, alcoholic, dismissive, unsympathetic, and all-around dirtbag mother and her traumatized daughter, Bertino seems to be posing a rather direct "Who's the real monster?" question as the simple premise has them fending for themselves on a stretch of road that literally no one ever drives down apparently.  Bouncing between flashbacks that become more and more uncomfortable and then the present time-frame which becomes more and more one-note and boring, the end result spins its wheels for the duration.  When the emotional payoff is a kid proclaiming "I'm not afraid of you!" while standing up to a huge, ridiculously dangerous creature that kills everything, it practically feels laughable which jives poorly and oddly with how much of a downer everything else is.  Worse, Bertino indulges in completely foreseeable jump scares to a criminal level and his characters behave in a way that will both confound and irritate anyone watching.  For a film that is technically well made, taking itself so incredibly seriously, and with committed performances, it is a perplexing shame that it gets so much so very, very wrong in the process.

2016 Horror Part Nine

NOCTURNAL ANIMALS

Dir - Tom Ford

Overall: GOOD

Fashion designer turned filmmaker Tom Ford's A-list follow-up to his debut A Single Man came a full seven years later in the form of Austin Wright's novel adaptation Tom and Susan, here titled Nocturnal Animals.  It is a meticulously crafted film, down to Ford's screenplay, the performances, and the crisp, polished look.  Even when its story-within-a-story embarks on a more grimy, Coen Brothers-esque trek into neo-noir Western terrain, Ford still places enormous emphasis on detail and the somewhat romantic quality (which is no doubt narratively intentional), is never lost.  Above being a thriller or anything else, the movie's potent core is that of a thoroughly heartbreaking, cautionary love story.  Bouncing between two plot-lines where the fictitious one becomes more and more clearly an explicitly addressed metaphor for the real one, the flowing structure blurs the lines in a very emotional, impactful way.  The entire cast is exceptional and though it technically breathes as a melodrama, the film has an unmistakably grounded weight to it.  Far from a feel good movie which should probably be understood going in, it certainly leaves an impressive, well, impression.

SIREN

Dir - Gregg Bishop

Overall: MEH

The full-length adaptation of David Bruckner's "Amateur Night" segment from V/H/S, Siren is mostly uneven and disappointing.  While the found footage original was effectively creepy, this one goes for bombast in a more tacky way.  The director chair handed over to Gregg Bishop, (Dance of the Dead, the "Dante the Great" story in V/H/S: Viral), the film leans enormously heavy on schlock while also dipping its toes into torture porn.  This balancing act becomes problematic, but that is only part of the headache.  The dialog is mostly crap, the performances mostly hammy, moments of sentimentality are awkward, and the plotting is predicated on logistically flimsy character motivation.  The script tries to justify some of this by having people be tripped out on drugs and making a pledge to be hellbent on not saying "no" to anything during a bachelor party weekend, but it ultimately makes everyone we meet seem stupid and unlikable.  On the plus side, Hannah Fierman, (reprising her role), is equally unsettling and alluring as the title character and even though it is a tonal mess, Bishop maintains a steady pace navigating through such chaos.

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS

Dir - Colm McCarthy

Overall: MEH

Dystopian zombie movies have been a dime a dozen for years and ever since 28 Days Later popularized the concept of the living dead moving at lightning speed, the sub-genre has boomed to the point of overkill, (nyuck, nyuck).  In this respect, Scottish television director Colm McCarthy's The Girl with All the Gifts is inescapably derivative or at the very least, a trendy offering.  For a major budgeted adaptation of Mike Carey's novel of the same name, (Carey who also wrote the screenplay here simultaneously with the book), it is at least impressively done.  The cast is strong, the music by Cristobal Tapia de Veer is quite haunting, and the production value is adequate enough to stage a few single-take, heavily populated walking dead action sequences.  The second and third act spend the most time humanizing both the desperate military personnel and the film's title character, sort of a zombie version of Blade minus the cool sunglasses and wicked kung-fu moves.  For the most part the story is engaging as McCarthy is ultimately less interested in indulging in gory set pieces than presenting a hopeless gray area for those infected and those not to be able to co-exist.  It takes a respectable stab at eschewing certain formulas, but too many seem unavoidably present to raise it above just being a well made post-apocalypse movie like many others.

2015 Horror Part Nine

TAG

Dir - Sion Sono

Overall: GOOD

 

The relentlessly challenging headtrip Tag, (Real Onigokko), is filmmaker Sion Sono's adaptation of Yusuke Yamada's novel Riaru Onigokko which had also been cinematically made in 2008 as The Chasing World by Issei Shibata.  Set to ethereal shoegazing music from Glim Spanky, the film starts off with a bang and then patiently meanders around with a handful of other left-field endeavors thrown in to up the strangeness.  While it becomes increasingly difficult to put together in any conventional narrative sense, the film's themes about destiny and fate seen through a feminist lens seem to become that much more important.  Even the way that the movie uses visually amateurish CGI appears to somehow enhance its otherworldly nature as it endlessly flows into one more dream state after the other.  The culmination of events is not likely to spell anything out in plain English, (or Japanese in this case), but it leaves a lasting impact and is enticing enough to warrant repeated views to possibly grasp.  Even if comprehension is a futile endgame, it is a bold and beautiful work that if anything else is thoroughly unique.

HIDDEN

Dir - Matt Duffer/Russ Duffer

Overall: MEH

 

A year before launching Stranger Things, the Duffer brothers Matt and Russ made their halfway decent full-length debut Hidden.  Direct parallels can be drawn from this and John Krasinski's more mainstream accepted A Quiet Place, which is either a good or bad thing depending.  Some technical annoyances like an overly rusted color pallet, unnecessarily dark cinematography, shitty CGI, and a mumble-heavy dialog track do get in the way of a rather touching story of a traumatized family trying to protect themselves from a largely unseen menace.  The fact that said threat is kept off screen for the majority of the proceedings does achieve two things.  One, it lets the audience gain more sympathy for the desperate characters and two, it allows for an increasing amount of tension to be built up throughout a rather prolonged second half.  Things are broken up along the way by flashbacks that stir up one too many zombie outbreak motifs seen an abundance of times which unfortunately give it a bit of a derivative quality.  Similarly mixed feelings can be garnished from the finish as well which is both twisty and kind of sentimental-grabbing.

 

HELL HOUSE LLC

Dir - Stephen Cognetti

Overall: MEH

 

Another found footage outing ruined by justifiable criticisms often attributed to the sub-genre, Hell House LLC is the full-length debut from writer/director Stephen Cognetti who followed it up with two like minded sequels.  It would seem that the premise is well equipped enough to justify the plot holes and standard, "stupid people in horror movies doing stupid things because they're in a horror movie" motifs, but sadly this is not the case.  While arguing about how dangerous it is to be in the house of the title, numerous unexplained events are clearly caught on camera for the characters to review and they either never think to do so or seem completely unphased by them.  The finished documentary presentation which is exponentially more difficult to pull off is understandably a far bigger blunder though.  One of the benefits to the sub-genre is the naturalism with raw, unedited footage that is void of any post-production conventionalism.  So when you take that bare-bones footage and edit it to smithereens, throw creepy music on it, and add loud sound effects to jump scares, you may as well have just shot it as a normal movie.  Also, the interview segments are jarringly poor, not just because of the bad acting and weak dialog, but because even more unexplained things are captured even there which still make it into the final cut for everyone to see.  It is worth a few freaky moments, but it is also heavy on the dumb.

2014 Horror Part Eleven

BACKCOUNTRY

Dir - Adam MacDonald

Overall: MEH

 

This full-length debut from Canadian actor-turned writer/filmmaker Adam MacDonald is survival/nature horror at its most textbook.  Everything that always happens with people in movies getting lost in the woods happens here; a guy is arrogantly sure that he can navigate the wilderness without a map or cell phone in case of emergencies, the person with him thought they had said items with them the whole time, they run into a shady character early on to get them and the audience on edge, they hear noises at night, and awaken to concerning things around their campsite in the morning.  While the script is rather barren on surprises then, MacDonald tests his abilities in creating a carefully controlled, suspenseful mood.  That is until the third act when the tension is exponentially revved up.  For the most part, the two leads in Missy Peregrym and Jeff Roop are decent and their dynamic as a couple is relatable enough to give the film some emotional weight when it is most needed.  With every little twig snap more heart-racing than the last, it does arrive at a rather intense place, but the crawl to get there just may be too gradual and pedestrian for some tastes.

SUBURBAN GOTHIC

Dir - Richard Bates Jr.

Overall: GOOD

 

Richard Bates Jr.'s follow-up to the uneven yet interesting Excison has a similar, fundamental theme of a young person hopelessly at odd with their parents, but other than that, it is a rather contrasting beast.  Most prominently, Suburban Gothic is a full-fledged comedy and it plays not one of its moments for anything besides laughs.  Thankfully it is pretty damn funny, yet in an aggressively quirky way that might annoy or even befuddle certain viewers while delighting others.  Every character is either an asshole or a smart-ass though usually both.  The two leads Matthew Gray Gubler and Kat Dennings make an amusingly non-charming couple and their lack of chemistry is played-up rather well.  Ray Wise probably brings the most to the proceedings though as a judgemental, racist, dirtbag dad who is a lot more likeable than his character sounds on paper.  As far as the humor specifically goes, it is part horror parody and part John Waters tastelessness.  This is no accident as Waters himself cameos as a blowjob-happy museum curator, which is the second hilarious fellatio joke to show up within about five minutes.

LAST SHIFT

Dir - Anthony DiBlasi

Overall: MEH

There is an abundance of problems with Anthony DiBlasi's Last Shift that squander its potential.  Set in a soon to be abandoned police station with a lone rookie cop on duty there, it features a rather relentless stream of supernatural set pieces.  Many of them would be positively skin-crawling if not for the stock sound design that robs them of all their impact.  Strip away the generic music and bangy noises every fifteen seconds and it would be quite creepy in a more natural context.  Making matters worse though, the plot points are horribly predictable and as generic as they come.  There is an emotional undercurrent to the story, but when everything around it is so big, loud, and above all else derivative, then it comes off as an eye-ball rolling schlock-fest played seriously.  Which is the worst kind of eye-ball rolling schlock-fest.  As a mere haunted house attraction then, those who still think bloody pentagrams, bloody masks, bloody writing on walls, bloody hillbilly ghosts doing random things on an anniversary of something affecting the woman they are terrorizing, (a woman who does not mention all the wadkadoo shit that she is seeing the first several times that she is given the opportunity to of course), then this movie has all of that plus several bloody jump scares more.

2013 Horror Part Eight

ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW

Dir - Randy Moore

Overall: MEH

This independent debut from Randy Moore is an odd, somewhat notorious offering in more ways than one.  From a production standpoint, it garnished a significant amount of attention from critics as the film was shot almost entirely at both Disney World and Disneyland, both parks of which fit in quite narratively as well.  Disney eventually acknowledged the movie without pursuing any serious legal action, but from such a sue-friendly company, the mere existence of Escape from Tomorrow is in and of itself remarkable.  As far as the actual film goes, it is strange though not exclusively for good reasons.  It was shot with inexpensive cameras that could remain hidden from Disney staff, then rendered in black and white.  While this gets around the issue of lack of lighting control, it still gives it a bit of an off-putting, amateur YouTube channel quality.  Embarrassing use of green screen in a few instances further emphasizes this.  Some of the story elements like a family dysfunctionally disintegrating while on a stressful vacation and the husband's sex-deprived marriage leading him to horndog hallucinations are interesting and occasionally amusing.  Things increasingly go into sloppy, surrealistic mode though with a nonsensical and pretentious third act and payoff. 

 

+ 1

Dir - Dennis Iliadis

Overall: MEH

 

Full of trippy, Twilight Zone-level aesthetics with plenty of psychological themes in place, Greek filmmaker Dennis Iliadis' follow up to the 2009 The Last House on the Left remake + 1, (Plus One, Shadow Walkers), is interesting though ultimately uneven.  A solid example of posing far more questions than providing answers, those questions sustain the film to a point.  The concept of reliving a regrettable moment with a near immediate level of hindsight gives the movie an emotional backbone that is more intriguing than the rather ill-defined, sinister bizarro-world stuff that becomes more prominent in the third act.  Iliadis goes for a tone of balancing humor with mounting doom, but it is a bit rushed in the violent, catastrophic finale where things seem to arrive there awkwardly.  Likewise, most of the character arcs resolve themselves clumsily and a kind of ugly feeling permeates after the credits role.  It is ambitious and deserves credit for what it may be trying to attempt though, plus the final showdown is visually impressive as far as how it was pulled off.

 

STOKER

Dir - Park Chan-wook

Overall: MEH

A knowing quasi-re-working of Alfred Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt by actor-turned-screenwriter Wentworth Miller and South Korean filmmaker Park Chan-wook in his English speaking debut, Stoker is a partially successful thriller.  The three leads in Nicole Kidman, Mia Wasikowska, and Matthew Goode turn in quite different though equally strong performances, though Goode's incessant smirking does become a bit irksome after awhile.  Chan-wook does an impressive job with the material, maintaining a dreadful tone with no breaks for humor and his frequent collaborator Chun Chung-hoo photographs everything beautifully and stylishly from the cinematographer chair.  It is a shame that the material in question is rather sub-par.  Far fetched and melodramatic in parts with a somewhat foreseeable reveal opening up doors that are fumblingly gone through, the story becomes dull and almost ham-fisted when it should be oozing with tension.  With a lesser director or lesser actors, the movie could have been in far more serious trouble.  As it stands though, it is clearly flawed yet meritable in enough areas to elevate it out of being exclusively mediocre.