2011 Horror Part Eight

THE ENEMY

Dir - Dejan Zečević

Overall: GOOD

 

An enticing war film that acts in part as a retelling of John Carpenter's The Thing, Serbian filmmaker Dejan Zečević's The Enemy, (Neprijatelj), pulls off having a very deliberate, perpetually ambiguous mood.  Set at the onset of the Balkan War ending, Zečević's story immediately introduces a possible supernatural component and one that clearly stands as a metaphor for the horrors that human beings can inflict on each other due to distrust, despair, and the overall consuming trauma of war.  In a typical genre setting, the film would blatantly lay its horror cards on the table.  Here though, zero such tropes are utilized and the audience is made to feel comfortable, (or uncomfortable, depending on the viewer), that no such direct answers are to be given.  Considering that the film is clearly not about such things, it stands as a welcome meditation on its harrowing themes.  The performances are strong and the very bleak, diluted color pallet does in fact give it a dreary look that is fitting for the material.  It is low on surprises and overall excitement, yet locks in a tone that is both haunting and contemplative.

TWIXT

Dir - Francis Ford Coppola

Overall: WOOF

 

To date, Francis Ford Coppola's final film is the absolutely puzzling vanity project Twixt, a movie inspired by one of the director's dreams and one that seems to have sprung up from another planet.  Off-putting from the onset, it only becomes more confused with pretentious dream sequences, vampires, Edgar Allan Poe because why not, and catastrophically bad performances and production values.  The digital photography has mediocre student film written all over it which is bizarre enough.  Yet it becomes downright laughable when the visual effects take center stage, looking like a mockbuster version of Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller's groundbreaking work in Sin City.  Speaking of laughable, the dialog is so unnatural it is persistently comical and in the lead, Val Kilmer seems to be the only one occasionally hip to this fact.  In one intentionally hilarious montage, his troubled author struggles with the first sentence of his new book and Kilmer bounces between a Marlon Brando and a gay black basketball player impression for reasons only known to himself.  Elsewhere, the humor is outrageously accidental, with one of the most ridiculous Ouija board scenes and a Goth kid hang out that a seventy-year-old Coppola must have though was hip enough to include.  It is a fascinating trainwreck and one made all the more so by being helmed by one of cinema's most (otherwise) outstanding filmmakers.

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE

Dir - Sean Durkin
Overall: GOOD

 

As a stark and very cold essay on post-traumatic stress disorder, Sean Durkin's full-length debut Martha Marcy May Marlene is horrific in its unapologetic bleakness.  A fleshed-out version of his 2010 short Mary Last Scene and also serving as the first screen appearance from Elizabeth Olsen, writer/director Durkin takes a deliberately low-key approach in examining what happens to a person after leaving a cult, namely the type of paranoia and emotional damage inflicted on both the ex-member and their loved ones.  The details of said cult's exploits are wisely kept sparse, never making them the focus and at the same time having them become more ambiguous and in effect, more disturbing.  It is somewhat stylistically ambitious by bouncing between the current setting and flashbacks, inter-cutting scenes as they appear parallel to each other.  As the primary focus, Olsen is outstanding in a hugely complex role, garnishing sympathy and pity even as her actions spiral out of control and become less and less condonable.  While the film may be too uncomfortable in the disregard for any hope it may provide, it is highly commendable for presenting itself in such a challenging way.

2000's American Horror Part Twelve

HOLLOW MAN

(2000)

Dir - Paul Verhoeven

Overall: MEH

 

In an attempt to make a more streamlined, commercial blockbuster after the one-two flops of Showgirls and Starship Troopers, Paul Verhoeven's Hollow Man is both hit and miss at its goal.  On the one hand, the structure is quite conventional with endlessly clever dialog and a highly formulaic plot.  The then state-of-the-art/now dated special effects take center stage, making it a showcase for Kevin Bacon and a guerilla in one scene to thrash about in their computer generated form while various other invisible man gags are brought to life.  As an unofficial, modern reworking of the famous H.G. Wells story then, the film ups the crazy with Bacon engaging in such unwholesome acts as raping women and brutally murdering a dog.  If the suspense level was more prominent, then the film would probably work a bit better.  Instead, it is a bit too cookie-cutter and predictable, with just some nasty bits thrown in Verhoeven it up, minus the usual astute satire.

SALEM'S LOT

(2004)

Dir - Mikael Salomon

Overall: MEH

 

The second television reworking of Stephen King's Salem's Lot faces a similar, fundamental issue as the 1997 The Shining miniseries, namely that it is a remake of one of the author's most famous and most excellent film adaptations.  Thus being the case, it is a bit redundant and at one-hundred and eighty-one minutes, also excessive.  Filmed in Australia with a number of native actors slipping their American accents in minor roles, it may be of interest due to its modernization which tweaks several character and plot arcs from the original novel.  As far as memorable, iconic moments or any remotely creepy aspects though, there are none to be found.  Donald Sutherland puts in one of the only remotely convincing performance as the confidently menacing and charming Richard Straker though he is regrettably quite underused.  Same goes for Rutger Hauer as a far lamer and far campier Kurt Barlow and Rob Lowe is on wooden autopilot in the lead as Ben Mears.  Much of the dialog is stilted and unnatural, the digital effects could not be worse, and characters come to rather script-convenient conclusions.  For the most part, the changes are ridiculous at worst and highly forgettable at best.

JENNIFER'S BODY

(2009)

Dir - Karyn Kusama

Overall: MEH

Jennifer's Body, (the feminist horror collaboration between director Karyn Kusama, screenwriter Diablo Cody, and filmmaker Jason Reitman serving as producer), seems to have its heart in the right place, but it drops the ball in some respects.  On the positive end of things, it has high production values and excellent performances, particularly from the two that count in Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried as teenage besties whose relationship grows quite diabolically complicated.  The problem comes with the story itself which is ridiculous yet plays itself straight in a way where the nastiness is too mean spirited, the dialog too scripty, and the humor quite forced and uneven.  Some narrative tropes are twisted, empowering the often exploited females into intelligent and proactive characters, yet the scares are highly formulaic and the atmosphere is pedestrian instead of creepy.  The fact that it all ends on such a downer further confuses the comedy, even if it is of the dark variety.  Lance Henriksen showing up for five seconds is always nice though.

90's Asian Horror Part Five

THE CAT

(1992)

Dir - Lam Ngai Kai

Overall: GOOD

 

With action scenes that would fit snugly at home in any Bollywood production and a premise that plays out as ridiculous on screen as it does on paper, The Cat, (Wai Si Li zhi Lao Mao) is quite anarchic and fun.  An adaptation of Ni Kuang's Old Cat novel as part of his Wisely Series, director Lam Ngia Kai from The Story of Ricky fame forgoes coherent plotting in favor of bizarre set pieces, utilizing over-the-top visual effects with hilariously absurd results.  There is a cat and dog kung fu battle in a junkyard, a scene where an indestructible, possessed alien cop mows down a gang of firearms dealers, another scene where he high-kicks a keg of beer before exploding it with a machine gun, and a cheap-looking tentacle blob creature likes to absorb buildings and rip people's flesh off and set them on fire.  Characters sometimes speak directly into the camera and flashback sequences recap moments that happened only two minutes earlier as well.  Outside of a slow first act, Ngai Kai keeps the rest of the proceedings moving nicely and whatever the hell the story is supposed to be about, who cares when so much violent, explody, and head-scratching nonsense is on screen?

TETSUO II: BODY HAMMER

(1992)

Dir - Shinya Tsukamoto

Overall: MEH

 

Backed by a much larger budget and with a comparatively "conventional" approach, Shinya Tsukamoto's Tetsuo: The Iron Man sequel Tetsuo II: Body Hammer is more cyber punk action movie than wacked-out body horror.  At least to some extent, the man-to-machine transformations are even more extreme than in the previous film, though the emphasis on avant-garde body-morphing is less encompassing until the final act is reached which throws narrative coherency to the wind.  Here, the mythology is fleshed-out where now an entire society of cyborg terrorists exists and the seemingly mild-mannered protagonist is actually given a backstory, be it a still bizarre one involving his insane, human-weapon-building father.  The film is still far from user friendly as the largely hand-held camera work is once again grating on the senses, the gore prominent, and the tone is quite thoroughly disturbed.  The change in approach is welcome, but it still unmistakably proves that the franchise is an acquired taste that may baffle and annoy more than captivate.

YEUK JI LUEN

(1993)

Dir - Siu-Hung Chung

Overall: MEH

This somewhat typical Category III film from Hong Kong director Siu-Hung Chung, (aka Billy Chung), and producer Kirk Wong offers the usual uncomfortable sleaze for those willing to appreciate it.  Yeuk Ji Luen, (Love to Kill), also has Anthony Wong Chau-sang who has made a career largely out of playing despicable scumbags, something that he does quite explicitly here.  While it is appreciated that the film is so ridiculous in tone, the combination of perverse and disturbing rape, juvenile vulgarity, nerve-wracking suspense, and awkward comedy makes for a haphazard result.   Characters say things like "How can I help you if you don't tell me?", "You're my wife", and "You'll be in trouble" so much that it may just be part of the intended humor, but that coupled with the often agitated editing gives it a amatuerish feel as well.  Mostly though, it is primarily focused with women getting brutally and psychologically tortured and raped.  The final act drops the goofiness and settles itself more firmly into unpleasant terrain, for better or worse.  It is all part of the "charm" then and ultimately comes down to how comfortable the viewer is with such things.

80's American Horror Part Thirty-Seven

KISS DADDY GOODBYE
(1981)
Dir - Patrick Regan
Overall: WOOF

This D-rent crud rock about the two worst kid actors in film history who also have psychic abilities is the only directorial effort from Patrick Regan, who otherwise made a career in a second unit or assistant capacity throughout the 80s and 90s.  With a sufficient exploitative title like Kiss Daddy Goodbye, (Revenge of the Zombie), and a singular enough premise about children who have the telekinetic ability to make their recently murdered dad come back to life to either fool people into thinking that he is still alive or to reap vengeance on the biker assholes who killed him, one would think that the results would not be so unprofessionally drab.  Chalk it up to Regan's inexperience from behind the lens in a solo capacity then because "unprofessionally drab" is exactly what this is.  The pacing is dreadful, the cinematography is consistently forgettable, everybody on screen seems to be sleepwalking through their lines, the sound design is atrocious, and the script, (which has four credited screenwriters mind you), is equally as amatuerish as everything else transpiring.  Even fans of scream queen Marilyn Burns should be warned to stay away from whatever was attempted here.

 

CRITTERS

(1986)

Dir -  Stephen Herek

Overall: MEH

The filmmaking career of Stephen Herek, (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Mr. Holland's Opus), began with the horror comedy Critters.  Lacking in originality from top to bottom, it is yet another in a horde of both "aliens invading a small redneck town" and "tiny creatures that look like demonic stuffed animals" films, adhering to most of the tropes of both.  Predictably, the only enjoyment comes from the title monster's wacky, destructively adorable behavior, biting any and everything and having their own language where they drop F bombs.  Two shape-shifting, alien bounty hunters fare less humorously, only really providing some flat, fish-out-of-water moments.  This is the general problem with the movie in the fact that despite its handful of wacky components, it still comes off more dull than funny.  Slag pacing does not help either, taking until the halfway point for any real critter carnage to commence and even after that, watching a bunch of country bumpkins and a distressed family try and deal with the problem is consistently snore-inducing.  There are a few chuckles to be had, but they are a few that are also too far between.

FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2

(1988)

Dir - Tommy Lee Wallace

Overall: GOOD

Following up one of the best vampire films of the decade is a risky endeavor.  On that note, Tommy Lee Wallace does an adequate job with Fright Night Part 2, all things considered.  Opening with a brief recap of Fright Night, this one starts on shaky ground, hinging itself on the lame premise that Charley Brewster has spent the last three years in therapy convincing himself that he imagined everything that happened in the first movie.  This "all in your mind" cliche would be more of a detriment if not for the fact that the film plays it and everything else more for schlocky laughs than anything else.  Upping both the comedy as well as the sex angle, the results are occasionally awkward though a few fun moments are scattered about.  There is a vampire on roller skates, an undead bowling montage, Jon Gries plays a werewolf for the second time in as many years after The Monster Squad, Brian Thompson eats bugs, the fog machine budget had to have been through the roof, and it has a sleek, stylish production design.  The script is generous with the plot holes and the angle of a vampire performance artiste is weak, but thankfully these are mild complaints in the end.

80's American Horror Part Thirty-Six

DRESSED TO KILL

(1980)

Dir - Brian De Palma

Overall: GOOD

 

Indulging in full Hitchcock worship, Brian De Palma's Dressed to Kill is a slick, visually compelling thriller that still manages to be quite silly at times.  Considering that Italian giallos were heavily inspired by the master of suspense anyway, it is no surprise that De Palma's work here has way more in common with such European proto-slashers than any of the contemporary and derivative American ones being churned out in droves at the time.  Split screen photography, narrative call backs, hammy recordings of the disturbed killer, bright red blood, an escort woman protagonist, and a borderline outrageous transsexual reveal, all of these ingredients and more would fit right at home with any of the early works of Lucio Fulci and Dario Argento.  Flashy camerawork and elaborate set pieces help create some fun, tense moments that make up for the rather foreseeable mystery and dated insensitive-ness.  Thankfully, the script and performances are rather snappy and despite its eye-borrow raising qualities, the dark humor and sleaze compliments the expertly controlled suspense quite efficiently.

 

ONCE BITTEN

(1985)

Dir - Howard Storm

Overall: GOOD

Notable as being Jim Carey's first staring role, Once Bitten also doubles as one of a handful of 80s vampire comedies.  The only theatrically released effort from television director Howard Storm, it has aged about as well as any other such farcical, largely juvenile-centered romps from the decade.  The political incorrectness ranges from subtle, (like a Caucasian actor playing an Indian stereotype librarian), to blatant, including one of the most laugh out loud scenes in a high school shower where an entire locker room of boys run out in a homophobic panic.  For his part, Carey is remarkably toned-down from his then ludicrous stand-up act and the continued over-the-top physical humor shtick that would help make him a household name, though he does an adequate job as a horny though good-natured teenager.  The script is silly enough and Storm's direction brisk enough to keep the funny moments prominent and the story also offers a unique enough tweak to the undead mythos to warrant some consideration from horror aficionados.

 

C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE C.H.U.D.

(1989)

Dir - David Irving

Overall: MEH

A knowingly dumb sequel to a knowingly dumb film to begin with, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. has an entirely different creative team and cast, acting as a loose follow-up that is essentially just another zombie outbreak comedy.  The walking, flesh-munching ghoul's behavior is rather inconsistent.  Sometimes they talk and use logic to seek out more "meat" to devour, other times they seem like they have the language capacity and comprehension skills of a newborn kitten.  The titular character, (played enthusiastically by Gerrit Graham), is mostly mute, but he is also love-struck and able to examine his zombie minions like a drill Sargent making sure his cadets are standing in formation properly.  Not that any of these deviations really matter; it is the amount of chuckles delivered that does.  There are a handful like a group of flesh-eating kids trick or treating, a zombie poodle launching into the air attacking someone in the background, and Bud and his crew crashing a high school dance that are adequately amusing.  It could be better, but it is innocent fun nevertheless.

80's American Horror Part Thirty-Five

AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION

(1982)

Dir - Damiano Damiani

Overall: MEH

 

As a follow-up to one of the silliest and in turn most influential hit horror films of the 70s The Amityville Horror, Amityville II: The Possession ups the camp, gore, and unwholesomeness tenfold.  Based on the 1979 novel Murder in Amityville and serving as a loose prequel to the events of the first film, (shot in the same house in New Jersey as well), it rather boldly fuses more haunted house trappings with demonic possession ones.  Bizarre scenes left and right that are equal parts uncomfortable and unintentionally hilarious, Italian filmmaker Damiano Damiani keeps up a breakneck pace, indulging in some fancy camerawork and arbitrary, freaky visuals.  The goofy script by Tommy Lee Wallace chooses not to settle on mere supernatural tomfoolery, but also more unpleasant details.  By centering the story on a family who is dysfunctional right out of the gate, we are not only witness to the inevitable massacre, but also get to "enjoy" Burt Young being a physically abusive, scumbag father and an insidious relationship between Jack Magner and Diane Franklin.  Over-the-top instead of frightening, the performances (thankfully?) match such intensity and if anything else, the tone is consistently brazen.

 

OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN

(1983)

Dir - George P. Cosmotos

Overall: WOOF

 

Easily and unsurprisingly, one of the more ridiculous and lame premises for a horror movie delivers ridiculous and lame results.  An adaptation of the Chauncey G. Parker III novel The Visitor by George P. Cosmotos, (Rambo: First Blood II, Cobra, Tombstone), Of Unknown Origin would be comical if it was not so one-note and wretchedly boring.  Essentially, it is "Guy gets stressed out at work while trying to kill a rat in his house - the movie" and scene after scene after scene go by of Peter Weller getting frustrated as he talks to himself, gets advice from exterminators, sets traps, and finds new things broken every day.  Almost literally nothing else happens and how anyone involved thought this was engaging enough material for a horror film is anybody's guess.  As a comedy sketch three times shorter in length, maybe it would work in such a context.  Instead, even Robocop building his own rat-murdering weapon and trashing his abode while a comically allusive rodent squeaks and scurries away is nowhere near as wonderful as it sounds.

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS

(1986)

Dir - Fred Dekker

Overall: GOOD

 

Writer/director Fred Dekker's sincere debut Night of the Creeps is the type of B-movie parody made with nothing but the most well-intended care.  It exists for the sole purpose of basking in as many horror and sci-fi movie cliches as possible and its only uniqueness comes in the fact that so many tropes are thrown on top of each other that they create their own wacky tone.  Zombies, aliens, an escaped mental patient, squishy parasites, naked sorority girls, douchebag sorority bros, jump scares, psyche-outs, the obligatory Walter Paisley cameo from Dick Miller, drive-in movie nostalgia, Plan 9 from Outer Space footage, a dolly zoom; even the characters are given the names of famous horror movie directors in case it was not on the nose enough.  Dekker's attempts at humor are hit or miss with Tom Atkin's overtly gruff police detective delivering smart/hard-ass quips like he has some sort of uncontrollable tick.  It is mostly lighthearted and easy to laugh with though and the endless genre nods, goofy special effects, occasionally nasty gore, and balls-out silly finale are all rather fun.

80's American Horror Part Thirty-Four

ALTERED STATES

(1980)

Dir - Ken Russell

Overall: GOOD

  

Arguably the best realized, thoroughly tripped-out work in Ken Russell's career, (yet still gleefully ridiculous at times), is his adaptation of Paddy Chayefsky's novel Altered States.  Scientifically researched and written for the screen by Chayefsky himself, (though he ultimately used the alias Sidney Aaron after having a falling out with Russell), it is incredibly dialog dense and the entire cast burns through their psychoanalytical lines at an almost challenging rate.  Russell balances the primarily wordy script with elaborate hallucination scenes that are almost comical in their intensity.  Even without all the heavy-handed philosophical themes about the discovery of the self through the search for "god" and the embracing of primordial man, the film is visually engrossing.  Performance wise, it is universally strong, particularly William Hurt in his movie debut as a deeply troubled, egocentric psychopathologist who is hell-bent on breaking through increasingly dangerous barriers to prove his theories.  Blair Brown as his hopelessly in love biological anthropologist wife deserves as much praise and the same also goes for the superb make-up effects by Dick Smith.

THE TOXIC AVENGER

(1984)

Dir - Lloyd Kaufman/Michael Herz

Overall: GOOD

 

Though Troma Entertainment had been making and distributing sleazed-out B-movies for ten years, The Toxic Avenger was the entry that truly set the template for decades of trash to follow.  Troma co-founders Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz initially set out to revitalize what they oddly heard was a dead horror genre, but the juvenile superhero movie from hell is less horrific and more splattery cartoon stupidity.  Deliberately cheap yes, but gore-wise it is actually rather impressive with liquefied body parts and solid transformation make-up looking as good as any respectable, violent monster movie from the era.  The knowingly ridiculous touches take up the most prime real estate though.  Racial, overweight, handicapped and homosexual stereotypes are made fun of with reckless abandon, the dialog and performances are purposely awful, nudity is everywhere, the soundtrack is made up mostly of pop, funk, and rock music with lyrics, and children, animals, and the elderly are either brutally murdered, beaten, threatened with firearms, or prostituted.  It is a benchmark of bad taste and on-the-nose-moronic filmmaking if ever such a thing existed.

 

WAXWORK

(1988)

Dir - Anthony Hickox

Overall: MEH

Films like Waxwork, (the debut from genre filmmaker Anthony Hickox), thrive more on their goofy shortcomings than fall apart because of them.  This is in large part due to writer/director Hickox setting up the campy, comedic tone right from the get-go, allowing things like embarrassing dialog, ham-bone acting, underwritten characters, and logical gaps to be not only forgivable, but rather welcome.  The cast of familiar faces includes Zach Galligan, David Warner, Deborah Foreman, and Dana Ashbrook, all of whom seem to be taking the proceedings as seriously as they deserve.  Sadly, the direction is highly rushed as well as awkward at times and the film is never as funny as it tries to be.  Things work out rather enjoyably though when a number of horror cliches are lovingly basked in.  This primarily comes down to the premise which though absurd, allows for a handful of amusing scenes involving werewolves, vampires, mummies, zombies, and even Marquis de Sade since why not?  It is silly stuff, though appropriately so.

80's Foreign Horror Part Ten

THE CHANGELING

(1980)

Dir - Peter Medak

Overall: GOOD

 

A well-regarded and often imitated haunted house film, The Changeling is based on playwright Russell Hunter's story which was allegedly inspired by events he experienced while living in a mansion in Denver, Colorado.  Regardless of any "true story" nonsense, it is a mostly successful work.  Hungarian-born Peter Medak was the third director attached to the project who was brought in nearly at the eleventh hour before shooting took place and he does pretty remarkable work.  Several set pieces are quite spooky and though numerous portions drag a bit once things become too plot heavy, the atmosphere remains chillingly in place.  George C. Scott is effortlessly excellent as a grieving yet practical widower and every other performance is similarly controlled.  Sadly, the film is only moderately compelling once it begins to drift farther away from its supernatural components and the emotional arc of Scott's protagonist, but it is still technically strong enough from top to bottom to rank as one of the better such movies of its kind.

 

EPIDEMIC

(1987)

Dir - Lars von Trier

Overall: MEH

 

Ambitious yet ultimately underwhelming, Lars von Trier's third full-length Epidemic doubles as the second installment in his Europa trilogy.  Even this early in his career and working with a seemingly zero dollar budget, von Trier's pessimism towards human beings and deliberate glee with making his audience uncomfortable are still very persistent.  In one particular scene, he and his screenwriter, (both playing themselves and both spending very few of their scenes not smirking at everything), map out their film-within-a-film on a wall and delight in how hopeless its outcome will be and what a great mockery of religion they will make.  The movie's lack of production values and meandering pace certainly make for an unpleasant watch, but perhaps not in the profound way von Trier pretentiously intends.  In any even, it is not a total waste as the line "What the hell, all a nigga needs are loose shoes, tight pussies, and a warm place to shit" makes an appearance which may be the greatest bit of dialog any black and white art film about movie making and a global pandemic ever produced.

 

LES DOCUMENTS INTERDITS

(1989)

Dir - Jean-Teddy Filippe

Overall: GOOD

A collection of found footage shorts by Jean-Teddy Filippe which appeared on the French public service channel Arte in 1989, Les documents interdits, (The Forbidden Files, Banned Reels, Untersagte Aufnahmen), is an interesting if uneven curiosity.  Filmed between 1986 and 1989, (with a much later stand-alone segment called "The Exam" made in 2010), the stories all range from three to thirteen minutes in length.  They are crudely shot, many on Super 8 film, and most are featured as found footage with some faux television broadcasts thrown in as well.  The narration over many of them is quite necessary as for the most part, very little extraordinary occurrences are shown and the quality is quite grainy and poor.  It is mostly people disappearing or acting somewhat aloof so naturally, certain episodes are more successfully unnerving than others.  The botched, paranormal broadcast "The Ferguson Case" is the most conventionally horror-tinged and others like "The Witch" and "Le Fou due Carrefour" have some intriguing moments as well.

80's Asian Horror Part Five

DEVIL FETUS

(1983)

Dir - Lau Hung-chuen

Overall: GOOD

  

The over-the-top, nonsensical splatter film Devil Fetus, (Mo tai), is the directorial debut from Chinese cinematographer Lau Hung-cheun.  The set pieces are more ridiculous and consistently funny than ever creepy, yet the tone seems to suggest that an earnest attempt is being made to make it a more frightening, be it still unconventional horror outing.  In any event, the barrage of bizarre, arbitrary set pieces backed by primitively delivered yet ambitious visual effects are quite entertaining.  At the same time though, things do no truly rev up until the final act and the plot throughout is utterly nonexistent.  Western audiences can easily follow everything without the aid of any subtitles whatsoever as ultimately, it is merely an elaborate showcase for off-the-wall, (literally), demonic possession showstoppers.  There is enough to easily delight those who want to see a mystic holy man engage in a kung fu battle against said possessed individual while another guy cuts off his many, elongated heads with a katana after he has been stabbed with spilled eagles blood.  No point in asking.

MERMAID LEGEND

(1984)

Dir - Toshiharu Ikeda

Overall: MEH

 

At times, Toshiharu Ikeda's Mermaid Legend, (Ningyo Densetsu), is visually interesting with some beautiful underwater photography and two comically violent set pieces that dip into splatter territory.  For the most part though, it is a bore.  Besides some bloody carnage, the only horror angle is how the wronged wife of a fisherman, (Mari Shirato), seems to supernaturally summon a hurricane and survive being stabbed, raped, and drowned numerous times.  For a revenge film, it delivers with its excessive mayhem, but only if one is to ignore the bulk of the screen time being devoted to a thin plot that meanders for far too long.  Tone wise, it becomes problematic in the sense that it seems romantic and otherworldly at some instances, dark and uncomfortable at others, and humorous in perhaps unintended ways at others still.  While some of the shots are captivating, many of them linger unnecessarily.  Tighter editing would have benefited the rather simplistic story; a story that has a handful of memorable ideas, but either goes too far graphically or not far enough narratively to work.

THE DISCARNATES

(1988)

Dir - Nobuhiko Ôbayashi

Overall: GOOD

This adaptation of Taichi Yamada's novel Strangers is odd in presentation at times, though it has an unmistakable, emotional undercurrent rare for what is essentially a somewhat traditional Japanese ghost story.  Coming from director Nobuhiko Obayashi whose seminal Housu is one of the most gleefully insane horror movies ever committed to celluloid, the quirky aspects to The Discarnates, (Ijintachi to no Natsu), are hardly surprising.  These are more to do with things like swelling, romantic music rather clashingly playing through supernatural scenes and some dialog choices that provide almost comically simplified explanations.  While these aspects may appear to oddly confuse the more powerful, central themes, they enhance the more fantastical qualities at the same time.  One can theorize as to whether or not Morio Kazama's central protagonist has manifested the spirits he spends a summer with through sheer trauma and grief, but the resulting experience is quite heart-breaking and beautiful in its resolution.  Only a horror film on paper really, it hits at home emotionally the way few genre movies allow.

70's Italian Horror Part Seven

SHORT NIGHT OF GLASS DOLLS

(1971)

Dir - Aldo Lado

Overall: MEH

The debut from director Aldo Lando, Short Night of Glass Dolls, (La Corta notte delle bambole di vetro), is a somewhat unique and unnerving yet poorly paced giallo.  Like all films in the sensationalized, Italian sub-genre, it is all about stylishly building up a central mystery, one that only gets solved in the final few minutes and usually laughably so.  Here, Lando and screenwriter Ernesto Gastaldi forgo centering their story around yet another black-gloved killer and littering it with red herrings.  Instead, they go for very gradually teasing at some sort of secret society with political and law enforcement backing who has possibly been making young women disappear for years.  Visually, the film is nowhere near as striking as other giallos from the era, but it has some singular touches and a thoroughly tense, creepy finale that make up for it.  Sadly, the first two acts are largely unmoving though and the film very much feels its length.  It may be worth sitting through some of its lackluster hangups to get to the expertly done finale, but it fails to come together completely enough to assuredly recommend.

BLOOD FOR DRACULA
(1974)
Dir - Paul Morrissey
Overall: MEH

Shot in Italy immediately following the production of Flesh for Frankenstein and released the following year, Paul Morrissey's companion horror spoof Blood for Dracula is quite similarly absurd.  The pluses to these two films is that Morrissey and company are willfully lampooning not only the horror genre but standard movie presentation conventions as well. The gore is excessive, the sleaze prominent, the plot moronic, the dialog is pure laughable nonsense, the class system critiques abundant as well as elementary, and the performances are deadpan and committed. As he was in Frankenstein, Udo Kier in particular is delightfully ridiculous, tackling the "Wait, are they serious?" material with his eccentric accent and mannerisms like he is trying to make the utmost buffoon of himself. While all parties involved know they are making something essentially dumb and there are plenty of chuckles to be found because of this, the combination of competent technical aspects with a deliberately amatuerish script and intention is frequently more monotonous than particularly entertaining. It is perhaps worth it for Kier and a laugh out loud funny ending though.

 

SALÒ, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM

(1975)

Dir - Pier Paolo Pasolini

Overall: MEH

 

If not the most equally polarizing and disturbing of all films, Pier Paolo Pasolini's swansong Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom, (Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma), is at least in the upper running.  Few works in any genre are as relentlessly challenging for practically any audience member, the squeamish being chief among them.  As an adaptation of Marquis de Sade's infamous The 120 Days of Sodom re-contextualized for 1944 in the fascist-occupied Republic of Salò, Pasolini's brazen attempt to brutally depict power corruption in both fascism and consumerism strips all humanity out of both.  In its place, the viewer is given no choice but to voyeuristically endure mind-numbing amounts of torture, humiliation and debauchery the likes of which few if any theatrically released movies ever dared portray.  The film is undeniably powerful and leaves a sickening, intentionally hopeless impression.  Because there is no camp, no humor, no attempt whatsoever to entertain, it is an almost impossible work to re-visit let alone stomach but once in a lifetime.  For cinephiles or anyone craving an intellectual discussion on the psychology of sadism, morality, nihilism, and many other such heavy themes, this is a one-stop shop that needs come with the gravest of warnings.

70's American Horror Part Twenty

THE PSYCHO LOVER
(1970)
Dir - Robert Vincent O'Neill
Overall: MEH

The sophomore effort from director Robert Vincent O'Neill, The Psycho Lover, (The Lovely Touch), is a typically D-rent, sleazy exploitation movie full of naked people, brutal rape, horrible music, lots of boring dialog, and soft focus photography.  O'Neill made two back-to-back horror efforts in 1970, the other Blood Mania being just as not impressive.  As opposed to the era's giallos from across the Atlantic which were churned out in droves, there is no mystery here and the killer is a different type of lunatic.  While he does put a pair of pantyhose over his head, he is far from the silent type and not only chats up his victims while telling them to stay perfectly still and obey his every command, (which naturally they never do), but also his therapist Lawrence Montaigne gets all of the icky details.  Montaigne's doctor denies telling the police about his client's gruesome confessions because even though a series of murders is taking place, Frank Cuva's wacko antagonist claims that his rapey exploits were all dreams so there is no connection to be made apparently.  Yet of course there is more to it than that and it eventually turns into a mind control thriller, be it a poorly scripted and uninteresting one.  O'Neill stages some trippy scenes here or there, but the plot is moronic and it detours into flowery montages at too many intervals.

 

TRILOGY OF TERROR

(1975)

Dir - Dan Curtis

Overall: GOOD

Arguably the most famous of all television horror movies and also arguably Dan Curtis' masterpiece was the anthology Trilogy of Terror, which is wildly known for its final segment and antagonist; a foot-tall Zuni fetish doll that is comically creepier than any other such puppet in cinema.  While all three stories were based on previous works from prolific author and screenwriter Richard Matheson, he only penned the iconic "Amelia" himself as the other ones were handled by William F. Nolan.  The first two segments "Julie" and "Millicent and Therese" are as universally disregarded as "Amelia" is praised, but while they are unavoidably weaker in comparison to the Zuni doll slasher fiesta, neither is a total bore.  Starring in all three and even pulling a dual role in one of them, Karen Black's tour de force performance was memorable enough to make her forever synonymous with the horror genre from here on out, for better or worse.  In any event, the wait towards the silly yet terrorized, minuscule demon doll throw-down at the end is worth it.

 

IT LIVES AGAIN

(1978)

Dir - Larry Cohen

Overall: MEH

Continuing his steady stream of films existing in their own anti-logic universe, Larry Cohen's second installment in his It's Alive trilogy It Lives Again, (It's Alive II), is as frustrating as the majority of the director's work.  As with the previous movie, the nonchalant way that everyone just accepts the ludicrous situation on hand, blindly trusts total strangers with insane stories, and chums-it up with people that they have been kidnapped by is more aggravatingly stupid than creepy.  The premise itself is nonsense which could make for a quirky end product if it was not played so persistently straight.  Performances wise, they are as baffling as everything else which is not helped by everyone endlessly talking over each other and scenes with a married couple loudly, (and laughably), arguing, plus one of the least convincing child births that has ever been filmed.  It does deliver some chuckles when the ghastly goblin babies finally start murdering people, (which does not happen until almost an hour in), but such moments are too few and far between, let alone surrounded by nonsensical stupidity.

70's American Horror Part Nineteen

THE VELVET VAMPIRE

(1971)

Dir - Stephanie Rothman

Overall: GOOD

 

A noteworthy erotic vampire film from an era quite saturated with them, Stephanie Rothman's The Velvet Vampire, (Cemetery Girls), is immediately of interest due to it being co-written and directed by a woman.  It is a peculiar work otherwise though.  Equal parts art movie and bizarre, Ed Woodian black comedy, its tone is often baffling yet fascinating for that very reason.  The acting is so hysterically wooden and the dialog so routinely preposterous that it is difficult to believe such things are accidentally embarrassing.  Spliced together with such silliness though are romantic dream sequences with a positively haunting, classical/rock guitar score.  The customary, early 70s soft focus photography accompanies the entire film and even though the budget is clearly on the minuscule end of the spectrum, it is visually quite captivating.  Flawed yes, but undoubtedly peculiar for what it is.

PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE
(1974)
Dir - Brian De Palma
Overall: GOOD

Brian De Palma's Phantom of the Paradise is his loving, gleefully over the top rock musical ode to The Phantom of the Opera, Faust, and The Picture of Dorian Gray.  As far as almost childishly critiquing pure, 70s excess is concerned, it does not get more on the nose than with De Palma's unapologetically stylized approach here.  Comedic, garish, and gorgeously designed, there is not a dull frame in the entire proceedings.  Even if Paul William's excellent score wasn't so hooky and engaging, it is likely that the film would still get by on its visual flare, inflated performances, and ambitious camera work.  Released only ten months before The Rocky Horror Picture Show which had an even grander, deliberately tasteless and kitsch-laded approach that warranted far greater fan devotion, De Palma's oddball mock opera is wonderfully fun in its own right.  A quintessential cult movie by its very design, the fact that it was a box office disaster upon release but is now regularly cherished really could not be more fitting.  

DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS

(1977)

Dir - George Barry

Overall: MEH

The only cinematic work from "filmmaker" George Barry, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is easily one of the strangest, sluggish, and singular cult films the 70s ever produced.  Independently financed for around $30,000 and failing to receive proper distribution upon being finished, it lingered as a rarely seen curiosity for decades until savvy critics and Patton Oswalt re-ignited some interest.  The acting is stiff enough to imply that the entire cast was on ludes, the pacing is void of any urgency whatsoever, and the dreamlike anti-narrative produces one baffling set piece after another.  There is an artist supernaturally living behind a painting, (who also narrates the movie), a guy and his sister lackadaisically staring at his burned-off, skeletal hands, a woman having a dream about eating a gourmet meal of live bugs, and a four minute almost uninterrupted shot of another woman slowly, (and I mean, SLOWLY), crawling away from the titular, velvet canopy demon bed that eats and digests its victims in acid after oozing yellow bubbles.  All the dialog is ADR and there are numerous other bizarro-world touches that appear to be comedic in a comatose-inducing way.  The movie is as mind-numbingly boring as it is, well, mind-numbing.

70's American Horror Part Eighteen

CROWHAVEN FARM

(1970)

Dir - Walter Grauman

Overall: MEH

  

Another in a long stream of ABC Movies of the Week produced in the 1970s, Crowhaven Farm is competently if routinely made.  Breaking for multiple commercial breaks and letting its fitting yet very stock musical soundtrack run unchecked almost relentlessly, its by-the-books approach can only wield mildly compelling results.  Director Walter Grauman, (who had and would go on to work similar thriller and horror terrain, mostly in television), does an adequate job with a couple of scenes where the music score drops out and the sound of chilling wind, child whimpering, and mocking laughter effectively takes over instead.  Moments between a bickering married couple and their clearly menacing adopted daughter are far less interesting and sadly take up most of the time away from the psychologically chilling ones.  Low on surprises and ultimately rather forgettable, it hardly overcomes its cliche quota, but it is also far from offensive in doing so.

SSSSSSS
(1973)
Dir - Bernard L. Kowalski
Overall: MEH

Even with its tongue certainly in cheek, Bernard L. Kowalski's humorously titled Sssssss, (Ssssnake), is a perpetually dull monster/nature horror outing.  The slack pacing works very much against the proceedings and Kowalski barely seems to show any interest in elevating the mostly lame material, let alone moving it along at any kind of acceptable rate.  Occasionally, the cookie cutter dialog entertainingly serves things in an intentionally schlocky manner while at other times it just comes off as embarrassing.  It takes until the film is already into its final act for things to finally get enough of a pulse to seem interesting, at which point the diabolical nature of its otherwise mild mannered, mad scientist snake doctor is revealed.  There is enough creepy elements inherent in the story that under more inspired direction and with a tighter script, it may work better than it does here.  It is ultimately more notable for its goofy title than anything else.

 

THE DEVIL'S RAIN

(1975)

Dir -  Robert Fuest

Overall: GOOD

 

While certainly ridiculous in a way befitting to camp-fueled B-movies, Robert Fuest's satanic tour de force The Devil's Rain is thankfully quite enjoyable in its silliness.  The 1970's were a heyday for occult films and all the typical beats are beaten over the head here.  There are chanting cult members in black robes, atonal organ music, skulls, upside down crosses, fire, pentagrams, human sacrifices, voodoo dolls, condemned witches, blasphemous sermons in Latin, and even Anton LeVay as a high priest.  Everything is in its right place in other words.  Some nice additions are given to the overworked mythos like said cult members overtaking an old west ghost town and gaining blacked-out eyes and apparently hot wax internal organs upon initiation.  The unintended humor stems from the occasionally goofy yet sincere performances and a script which makes no attempts to properly explain anything logically.  If anything else, seeing William Shatner get converted to Satanism by Ernest Borgnine of all people in goat head makeup is hardly an offer anyone of sound mind could pass up.

70's American Horror Part Seventeen

POINT OF TERROR
(1971)
Dir - Alex Nicol
Overall: WOOF

The last time that actor-turned-director Alex Nicol was behind the lens, Point of Terror is a vanity project for its star/producer/co-writer Peter Carpenter and an awful one at that.  Also, it is not a horror movie despite what both its title and slasher-advertising poster dictates.  Instead, it follows the lackluster exploits of Carpenter's ambitious lounge singer who cannot keep his pants on around any woman that he meets, all of whom are blonde since apparently women only have that hair color in this universe.  He gets to thrust his pelvis to terrible music at several instances while wearing an open color shirt, plus we get a handful of love-making/beach frolicking montages to further lull us into boredom.  There are a couple of deaths and we do get a scene of someone in a mask who is stabbing a woman, but it abruptly cuts off another unrelated moment and is never referenced again.  Ilsa herself Dyanne Thorne gets to do her sultry thing and even goes full raving bitch in the finale, but alas, she cannot save what is a dated, stupid, and embarrassing melodrama the whole way through.

RACE WITH THE DEVIL
(1975)
Dir - Jack Starrett
Overall: MEH

While its interesting in parts, Jack Starrett's road chase/occult horror hybrid Race with the Devil has some unmistakable problems wearing it down.  Things get off to a slow start which would be forgivable if it helped establish the characters as intended.  Instead, nothing serviceable to the overall plot is discovered neither there or along the way.  It is a double-edged sword that when things do get interesting from a suspenseful standpoint, the story stops and everything just becomes a monotonous series of set pieces.  While these set pieces are expertly handled by Starrett who maintains a tight control over them, it is also simultaneously apparent that the script ran out of gas as soon as the second act started.  Plausibility is also a major concern as mysterious, Satan worshiping hillbillies both seem to perpetually catch up to the protagonists no matter how many hundreds of miles they put between them and more ridiculously, said cult members never once take the easy opportunity to finish off their prey.  They just repeatedly act polite and send them on their way, just so the audience can be creeped out and second guess everything going on.  It is fun if you can tune your brain out to the plot holes and also thoroughly enjoy a well-executed chase sequence though.

PROPHECY
(1979)
Dir - John Frankenheimer
Overall: MEH

A rare foray into horror from director John Frankenheimer, Prophecy is a highly insufficient work.  A lackluster, somewhat preachy script about Native American mistreatment, shady corporate dealings, and marital drama with a scant amount of bear monster scenes thrown in to wake the audience up, the material itself is fighting quite the uphill battle to be even remotely engaging.  Frankenheimer's inexperience with the genre is quite noticeable and even for the guy behind such noteworthy political thrillers as The Manchurian Candidate, he fails to garnish any excitement out of the few opportunities the story presents.  Other issues persist such as a faulty sound design where the music and background noise drowns out the dialog and also the glaringly Italian Armand Assante being laughably cast as an American Indian.  Speaking of laughable, there's some unintentional howler set pieces such as a racoon attack and a girl bouncing away from the monster in a sleeping bag and then exploding into feathers against a rock.  More moments like that and one could recommend it as hilarious schlock.  Sadly instead, it is primarily just a bore.

70's American Horror Part Sixteen

I DRINK YOUR BLOOD
(1970)
Dir - David Durston
Overall: GOOD

"Let it be known sons and daughters that Satan was an acid head.  Drink from his cup, pledge yourselves, and together we'll all freak out!".  This line from the opening of David Durston's somewhat legendarily bad exploitation romp I Drink Your Blood sets the laughably profane tone, a tone that is maintained throughout.  On paper, the Manson Family/David Cronenberg's Rabies/I Spit on Your Grave/Night of the Living Dead with a small dose of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre hybrid is pretty ridiculous and coupled with the cast of non-actors, paper-thin budget, and all around amateur production values, it is hardly a work to take too seriously.  Meant to appall and successful at doing so, (at least for a turn of the 70s audience), the garish fun pops up at regular intervals.  It is a film who's limitations and bad taste are precisely the ingredients that enhance its viewability.  Though not a masterpiece even by grindhouse standards, as a hilariously dated and consistently messy, violent, and outrageous shock-fest, it suffices quite well.

A COLD NIGHT'S DEATH
(1973)
Dir - Jerrold Freedman

Overall: WOOF

 

This staggeringly comatose TV movie from Jerrold Freedman takes an often tested and true formula of people experiencing unexplained occurrences while isolated in extreme weather conditions and then almost recklessly wares the audience down with the presentation.  Originally airing on January 30th as the ABC Movie of the Week and staring prolific character/television actors Eli Wallach and Robert Culp, A Cold Night's Death, (The Chill Factor), is repetitive to quite a fault.  After a painfully boring set up exploring an abandoned research center for what seems like seven hours, the rest of the film is one argument after another between the two leads who can't agree as to whether or not supernatural tomfoolery is going down.  As far as whatever else is happening, such a thing is anyone's guess.  With such stagnant direction, the poorly constructed plot becomes even more noticeable.  An absolute monotonous slog to watch, any would-be brooding atmosphere or tension fails to connect and the whole ordeal is quite consistently forgettable.

NIGHTWING

(1979)

Dir - Arthur Hiller

Overall: MEH

A notorious, critically crucified bomb upon release, Nightwing remains a bizarre curiosity for awful movie buffs.  Bizarre in the fact that it has several problems right out of the trainwreck cinema playbook, but is also flatly and seriously presented.  This juxtaposition of traits makes it both worse and more interesting that it otherwise would be.  The performances are primarily sincere and director Arthur Hiller, (who had no previous experience in the horror genre and it shows), is incapable of creating a properly foreboding atmosphere.  Tone-wise then, it's detrimentally bland, which make the lousy screenplay and incredibly laughable visual effects that much more jarring.  It fails to make the concept of vampire bats either menacing or interesting and framed around vague, Native American spiritualism, it would be embarrassing if it wasn't so lackluster.  If the film went for more of a bombastic and ridiculous approach, it would be a hoot.  Instead, it is more of a whimper.