(1970)
Dir - Anatole Litvak
Overall: MEH
The final movie from Ukrainian-born filmmaker Anatole Litvak, The Lady in the Car with Glasses and a Gun, (La Dame dans l'auto avec des lunettes et un fusil), is a French/American co-production that was shot in the former country. An adaptation of Sébastien Japrisot's 1966 novel of the same name, it is incoherent, rambling, and feels its length more than is agreeable. Following the lady of the title who goes on a spontaneous drive during Bastille Day weekend, she keeps meeting people who say that they saw her the day before and then an asshole who refuses to leave her alone, sleeps with her, disappears, and reappears after a dead body shows up in her trunk, at which point the audience gives up in trying to follow along. Despite Oliver Reed gracing us with his presence early on in a bad gray wig, he disappears for almost the entirety of the film, only showing back up within the last twenty minutes to shine some light on the nebulous narrative. Such a tactic technically clears things up, but it is also long-winded and makes a convoluted plot even more so. It is a disappointing outcome for a mystery to botch its ending after such drawn-out manipulation, but Reed is as captivating to watch as always, simmering with intensity as his wacky murder-framing scheme goes off the rails, plus Samantha Eggar is appropriately confused in the lead.
(1974)
Dir - Norman Foster
Overall: WOOF
As cheap, stupid, and boring as any Filipino-American exploitation movie from the 1970s ever was, The Deathhead Virgin comes from veteran TV director Norman Foster, but the script was by top-billed "stars" Jock Gaynor and Larry Ward. Talking, more talking, and then just so much more talking takes up nearly all of the running time as a reawakened naked sea witch with a mask and skeleton head underneath it infrequently murders people. The monotonous plot has its unintentionally humorous moments like how Iraida Arambulo seems to only be concerned about when she is going to eat and the entire middle hour going on so long that you forget that it is technically a flashback. The dubbing is rough at best and regular Vic Diaz sounds like a cross between a straight American and Béla Lugosi, but the movie's insultingly tiresome story is why it is insufferable to endure. Clearly padded to get to the ninety-minute mark, some naked bodies, plot twists, and a murder or two help not at all, plus the third act feels as if it was tagged on as Diane McBain proclaims out loud "How much longer are we gonna sit around here?", clearly echoing the viewer's own frustrations.
Dir - George Mendeluk
Overall: MEH
A Canadian giallo of sorts, Stone Cold Dead is a hoot for seeing Paul Williams of all people playing a pimp, but it is otherwise merely formulaic. Shot in Toronto during some abysmal winter months that capture the city's prostitute district in all of its cold and seedy glory, this was the full-length debut from German-born filmmaker George Mendeluk, adapting Hugh Garner's novel The Sin Sniper. Richard Crenna is the determined detective who makes enemies with everyone along his route to track a killer that snaps pictures of their victims when gunning them down sniper style and we meet several ladies of the night, thugs, a crooked cop, an undercover female cop, and William's aforementioned proprietor of people's vices along the way. Mendeluk's script offers few surprises as far as structure goes, with red herrings pointing in various directions and all of it leading to the least likely suspect, which to be fair is a satisfying if convoluted reveal in keeping with any of the genre's more famous Italian counterparts. Michael Ironside and Linnea Quigley also show up in "blink and you'll miss 'em" parts, but the whole thing is more melancholic and rigid than fun.
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