(1971)
Dir - Kent Bateman
Overall: MEH
The directorial debut from Kent Bateman The Headless Eyes is a typically shoddy exploitation movie and one of many that was shot on location in Manhattan when the city was the epitome of seedy decadence. It also has embarrassing attributes left and right. Horrendous cinematography that takes place almost exclusively in fully-lit and ugly rooms, repetitive music, actors with pretentious accents, recycled sound cues; the non-existent production values are relentless. Swedish thespian Bo Brundin chews the scenery as a schlubby and irksome scumbag that gets his eye gouged out by a woman that he is trying to rob, only to spend the rest of the movie looking so red and flustered as if he is doing an Oliver Reed impression. Brundin's character becomes fixated with de-eying his victims, these moments are shot in a fittingly grisly style, (meaning unconvincingly with bright red blood), and Bateman tries to convey a sense of surreal lunacy throughout. The film frequently detours into nonsensical fever dream sequences and these give it an edge over ONLY being poorly acted and poorly made trash. It is too stupid and amateurish to offend, but that is precisely what makes it of interest to fans of bottom-barrel cinema.
(1973)
Dir - Gordon Hessler
Overall: MEH
This ABC Movie of the Week from November of 1973 is one of many ghoulish genre offerings that Bette Davis stared in during the post-Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? stage of her career. Director Gordon Hessler pumped this one out the same year that he did the outstanding The Golden Voyage of Sinbad and screenwriter Jimmy Sangster, (who is credited here along with Arthur Hoffe), had just hung up his hat at Hammer Studios where he penned most of their more well-known horror works. Unfortunately, such personnel hit below the mark here, delivering a predictable, watered-down, and unintentionally silly Psycho retread. Sian Barbara Allen is so annoying and pushy as a bright-smiled antagonist that it makes one wonder if she was meant to be a red herring, but this seems unlikely as the eventual mystery clearly points in its inevitable direction that her hapless character was just too inquisitive for her own good. Davis though does a solid job with a supporting role that does not require too much of her, coming off as something that the Hollywood veteran could knock out quickly for some extra retirement money.
(1979)
Dir - Don Keeslar
Overall: WOOF
As Wisconsiny as any Wisconsin movie ever was, Bog is the only theatrical release by regional kind-of filmmaker Don Keeslar. As opposed to most yokel local crud rocks, Keeslar somehow was able to get a couple of professional actors on board, including Gloria DeHaven as both a scientist and a rambling gypsy woman with cave echo on her voice. Keeslaer only remembers that he is making a monster movie at irregular intervals and he also seems clueless to the fact that he is making one in 1979. With an elderly cast, no gore, no nudity, and no exploitative elements, the film is rooted in the type of minimal effort B-movie schlock from two decades prior as opposed to being something that a post grindhouse audience would gravitate towards. Also making this feel like a 1950s drive-in cheapie, Carl Kitt's script is a recklessly talky snore, keeping the rubber suit monster off screen until fifty-one minutes in where we finally get some quick, blink-and-you'll-miss-them cuts of a blurry fish mask thing. This is an unforgivable faux pas when you have less set pieces than you can count on one hand, instead filling your movie with endless banter and lingering establishing shots. You can also make a drinking game out of how many times characters say some variation of "What do you think you'll find out there?" followed by "Who knows?". The worst kind of bad movies are boring bad movies and this belongs on the Mt. Rushmore of such things.
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