(1981)
Overall: MEH
Hopelessly befuddling, Xie Ying Wu, (Bloody Parrot), is another wacky genre hybrid from the Shaw Brothers. A wuxia film with more than its fair share of highly choreographed, martial arts break-outs where every character of every age and sex exhibits impossible athleticism and kung fu skills, there is also macabre weirdness and nudity to fit this into the sleazy horror camp. The movie often feels as if it is edited down from a much longer epic as protagonist shifts wield an inconclusive plot line where it becomes increasingly impossible to follow the plethora of characters that we are introduced to, let alone keeping track of what any of their motivations are. It is frustrating in this respect, but the sheer amount of inventive details keep it from being a total bore, even if it still regularly stagnates. Something about being a granted a wish by a demon bird, then that only being an illusion, then the demon bird being an actual person, then that person being someone who was thought to be dead, then his wife also showing up who was supposed to be dead, stones that possess people or make them vampires maybe, some stuff with another guy and his clan, a witch, a black magic wizard, women who are deadly with pins and a frisbee made out of a human face, maggots, naked boobs, etc.
(1981)
Overall: WOOFA failure as both a horror and martial arts movie, Kung Fu Zombie, (Wu long tian shi zhao ji gui), is a wretchedly obnoxious viewing experience. The first of two back-to-back staring vehicles for Billy Chong that involve otherworldly elements, it has all of the rapid-fire, physics-defying, flipping through the air, unnaturally loud sound effects fighting scenes that Samurai Sunday films gleefully abuse. What becomes far more painfully unendurable though is the moronic tone that throws one thoroughly unfunny gag after the other, with characters wildly gallivanting about with pathetic attempts at Three Stooges hijinks. Virtually every person on screen is interchangeable in their loud, stupid mannerisms and the movie even has the classy taste to have an inconsequential side character cook and eat a dog to wonky cartoon music. Also, a screaming vampire shows up because he might as well. Consider yourself extra unfortunate if you come across the English-dubbed version which on top of being unavoidably sillier, is also edited to a pulp. Yet for audience members who never get bored with such endless buffoonery
that all members of the Wu-Tang Clan champion, this will hit the
appropriate requirements, only with some extra supernatural elements thrown in for "good" measure.
(1983)
Overall: GOODWith a convoluted plot, only thirty-five second breaks between kung fu sequences, and more atmospheric eye candy than genre fans could hope for, Portrait in Crystal, (Shui jing ren, Crystal Man, Sujeong-in), stands out as one of the most engaging of the Shaw Brothers horror/wuxia/fantasy hybrids. Of course opening with some narration as was a common practice for the studio's mystical offerings, the lore concerning crystal statutes that become human if blood is spilled on them ultimately establishes a bizarre story with treacherous clans, murder, and vengeance. It all culminates in a lengthy third act where we enter a magical fortress of sorts where women warriors hold the key to healing one's wounds while simultaneously keeping "morons" in cages, maintaining torture devices, and unleashing Indiana Jones-worthy booby-traps depending on what part of their labyrinth-like dwelling that certain unwilling, sword-wielding warriors venture into. The middle section drags with childish comic relief surrounding the dopey exploits of a character named "Fatty", but the entire production goes all out with superb set design and colorful lighting that would make Mario Bava stand up and applaud. Nudity, gore, vomit, and rapid-fire fight scenes all round out the ridiculous experience, forgiving the razor-thin story that barely has enough glue to keep the wacky set pieces together.
No comments:
Post a Comment