80's Mexican Horror Part Three - (Rubén Galindo Jr. Edition)

CEMETERY OF TERROR
(1985)
Overall: MEH

Noteworthy for using a bonafide, sloppy hodgepodge of horror styles to suite its corny needs, writer/director Rubén Galindo Jr's debut Cemetery of Terror, (Cementerio del terror, Zombie Apocalypse), only occasionally comes close to being an enjoyable schlock ride.  This is one in a long tradition of such genre movies where logic and plausibility is not a concern and instead, it is of paramount importance to throw in as many cliche-ridden set pieces as the running time will allow.  Some of these moments are enjoyable though, like an excellent "zombies rising from their graves" scene, some clever cinematography, and creepy supernatural details.  It clearly stylizes itself on the Spanish and Italian tropes of the 1970s and on this note, one of the most true and steady such examples is terrible, terrible pacing.  The movie could afford to be at least twenty minutes shorter and though it is a visually macabre hoot, it can only be seen as a success if one is willing to tune out at regular intervals and taking a couple of bathroom breaks while waiting for the next macabre scene to get going already.

 

DON'T PANIC

(1987)

Overall: MEH

A hilariously ridiculous, supernatural quasi-slasher effort from writer/director Rubén Galindo Jr. and his third full-length from behind the lens, Don't Panic, (Dimensiones ocultas, El secreto de la ouija), is an unintentional laugh fest that unfortunately loses momentum as often as it delivers the stupid.  Filmed on location in a Mexico City that is meant to be an anywhere US town, it is one of many schlocky B-movies from the era to channel A Nightmare on Elm Street, except with the bizarre consequences that are only found in foreign knock-offs.  The most glaring example of such is an older-than-seventeen-looking Jon Michael Bischoff spending upwards of seventy-five percent of the movie in dinosaur pajamas, even as he has red demon eyes, sex with his girlfriend, and clearly is not meant to be in the third grade.  Despite Galindo being unsure as to what age his protagonist was supposed to be, his script has the usual amount of head-scratching silliness found in movies that ride a razor-thin line of trippy scariness and absurdity.  The dialog, musical cues, dubbing, and editing all jive together in a hilarious fashion to the point where paying attention to whatever the hell the story was supposed to be is both a futile and unnecessary effort.  Still, an awkward, curly-haired manchild, a lame Freddy Krueger stand-in who says "Bitch" in a distorted voice, and one or two lovely gore effects from Screaming Mad George all have their merit.

 

GRAVE ROBBERS

(1989)

Overall: MEH

 

The last of three notable, B-level horror works from Mexican filmmaker Rubén Galindo Jr., Grave Robbers, (Ladrones de tumbas), has its fair share of outrageous gore, cliches, and obnoxious characters to appease both slasher and 70s Euro-horror fans, even if this comes a decade later.  It also technically adheres to 80's motifs where a supernaturally-charged, weapon-wielding maniac does not bother with speaking any dialog while slowly picking off his victims in elaborate, messy ways.  At the same time, the story fits right into those that have a condemned person vowing vengeance via their executioner's descendants and there are subtle nods to Amando de Ossorio's Blind Dead series thrown in for good measure.  It does not create the unique hodgepodge that one would hope for since the pacing cannot overcome a repetitive, "cat and mouse" plot, but most people coming into such a violent, schlocky affair are doing so to see people get murdered in physics-defying fashion.  The movie delivers there with some hilarious death scenes like a full-grown hand bursting through a guy's chest and a woman who gets her face forcibly smooched into a handrail.  Everywhere else, it is a lot of back and forth yelling from people that are barely worth paying attention to, but when the film goes off the rails with arbitrary silliness of the macabre variety, it is a fun watch.