(1992)
Dir - Vasili Mass
Overall: MEH
The only directorial effort from production designer Vasili Mass, Spider, (Zirneklis), is an evocatively shot/horrendously scored, coming of age drama that explores sexual awakening via supernatural means. Bookended by overblown, bizarre set pieces which blur the line between nightmares and the waking world, it impressively brings to life a section of Hieronymus Bosch's famous triptych artwork "The Last Judgement" before Aurelija Anuzhite has sex with a gigantic spider and gets chased around by a diabolic painter who is probably the Lord of Darkness or at least some cohort thereof. Such narrative details are left murky so that the film can unfold as a sort of fairy-tale fever dream where Anuzhite's young protagonist wards-off the incoming lust of unwanted forces while trying to simultaneously embrace a warm and inviting seaside family environment, (as well as getting romantic with her cousin). It is a deliberately sexual work with some outrageous gore in its final moments, but Mass handles it in an non-exploitative manner, taking a whimsical approach to the subject matter that unfortunately renders the entire second act a sluggish chore to sit through before the strangeness takes over again. The cheap, incessant keyboard score is borderline ruining, but Gvido Skulte's cinematography is at least consistently rewarding.
(1995)
Dir - Anders Jacobsson
Overall: MEH
A gore spoof and a mostly groan-worthy one at that, Evil Ed is also the full-length debut from Swedish filmmaker Anders Jacobsson; a movie that pokes fun at both the low-budget horror genre as a whole and the censorship of such a genre. Taking three years to complete and shot on location in Stockholm, the ridiculous tone is set in the opening scene where a manic film editor puts a grenade in his mouth and blows himself up, which prompts a "You're fired!" quip from his sleazy studio executive boss. The Edward of the title, (played by Johan Rudebeck), is the editor who takes the grenade guy's place; a wimpish father and husband who protests his new job of splicing out all of the violence and sex scenes from exploitation films before succumbing to hallucinatory madness. This of course turns him into a scenery-chewing, spree-killing wackjob that spouts dialog from an array of notable horror works as well as deliver ridiculous, sex/murder-crazed rants while becoming impervious to bodily harm, as slasher bad guys always are. Deliberately in icky taste while constantly winking at the audience, it is a silly watch that tries too hard, yet it thankfully cannot help but to deliver some vile chuckles along the way.
(1997)
Dir - Olaf Ittenbach
Overall: WOOF
Either one of the worst "comedies" ever made, one of the worst splatter movies ever made, or simply one of the worst movies of any kind ever made, (likely all three), Premutos: The Fallen Angel, (Premutos - Der gefallene Engel), is a bafflingly obnoxious mess from the nonsensical mind of underground garbage peddler Olaf Ittenbach. Shot on 16 mm film because why would anyone in their right mind give this guy the finances to shoot on anything better, it is as incompetent as any of Ittenbach's other works, yet simultaneously jacked up to eleven in every frame, even when the camera is stationary on some of the worst characters ever put on screen. No one can deny that Ittenbach brings the cartoonish gore in his story about who cares and the finale where triumphant military music blares on the soundtrack as a literal tank smashes through a wall so that gallons of zombies can be liquefied represent the type of batshit silliness that comes off as being actually intentional. Elsewhere though, the worst English dubbing known to man, (seriously), the worst dialog known to man, a plot line that seems as if it was written by a five year old having an ADD attack while on the toilet, and gross-out, booger-picking boner humor are all just ceaselessly embarrassing.
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