Dir - Chris McKay
Overall: GOOD
After one failed attempt followed by another, Comcast's Universal Pictures seems to have temporarily at least bailed on the moronic idea of a shared cinematic monster universe, instead focusing on one-offs like Renfield; a comedic action movie take on cinema's most frequented vampire Count and his bug-eating subordinate. Scoring a coup with casting Nicolas Cage in full zeitgeist mode as said Count, his performance is predictably and more to the point, appropriately scenery-chewing. Speaking of predictable, the script by Ryan Ridley, (which was based off of an idea by Robert Kirkman), is too formulaic to wow any audience members with its wise-cracking, beat-by-beat schlock, but the premise of looking at the age-old vampire/familiar dynamic through contemporary self-help empowerment is successfully hilarious. Throwing in drug dealers, a corrupt police force, and an underdog female officer out to make her murdered father proud results in too many genres and side arcs fighting for adequate attention, plus it also leads to a bloated finale where the zippy, loud, conveniently-plotted tone overstays its welcome. That said, it is genuinely funny at regular intervals and after so much dark and gritty when it comes to endless reboots of timeless horror staples, it is nice to see something taking the piss out of such things.
Dir - Oliver Park
Overall: MEH
Actor-turned-director Oliver Park's full-length debut The Offering adheres to the bombastic James Wan style of horror which sacrifices all subtlety for loud, grimy schlock. The bare-bones premise is fine if not even refreshing as it revolves around an estranged son of a Hasidic funeral home owner who falls on financial hardships and along with his pregnant wife, has to move back into the ole family business. Jewish mysticism is always a nice change of pace from the typical Christian or specifically Catholic dogma that is utilized in contemporary supernatural tales and Hank Hoffman's script here is respectfully detailed if obviously still sensationalized in this respect. The problem is with Park's incredibly hack-laden presentation. Frequent attempts are made to establish dread, but one after the other, they are all undermined by loud, over-the-top, and cliched audio and visual tropes. This not only stops the movie from having a unique voice amongst the heard, but it also jives awkwardly with sincere performances and an intense if still elementary story about how grief and regret shape troubled family dynamics. In any event, those who cannot get enough of predictable jump scares, screaming set pieces, and CGI demons, this by-the-books genre *cough* OFFERING will suffice.
Dir - Lee Cronin
Overall: WOOF
As was already made abundantly clear with the 2013 remake, a contemporary take on the Evil Dead franchise is a fool's errand that keeps getting unwatchably bludgeoned without Sam Raimi's singular vision exclusively at the helm. After a ten year gap that unfortunately could not stay a gap, Evil Dead Rise emerges as the latest ill-conceived shitshow in the series; a combination of lazy fan service, overall redundancy, underwritten characters, inconsistent demon and character behavior, and worst of all, a downright pummeling display of insultingly wretched, modern day horror tropes. The sound design alone should constitute as a war crime as it follows the "pin-drop silence followed by loud noise" motif throughout almost its entire running time, taking jump scare abominations to brain-damage-inducing heights. Visually, it is just as derivative, set in a dilapidated apartment building which makes the wood floors, flat-colored interiors, dark blood, black bile, and grey puke all blend into a grimy mess that takes the easiest route possible in a pathetic attempt to be "creepy". Writer/director Lee Cronin has none of Raimi's gleeful inventiveness or style, yet he shoehorns a barrage of franchise call-backs into the proceedings that create an obnoxious tone along with all of the other by-the-books nonsense. In other words, it is stupid without being fun. Hopefully the inevitable batch of sequels will finally go somewhere interesting again, but this one at least stands as a checkpoint in what not to ever do again.
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