(1972)
Dir - William Girdler
Overall: WOOF
Filmed in his native Kentucky at Lake Cumberland specifically, Three on a Meathook was the debut from regional movie-maker William Girdler who went on to do a steady handful of such films until his untimely death in 1978. This continues a trend of horror movies that claimed to be inspired by Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein yet have about as much to do with Gein's exploits as an episode of Groovie Goolies does. Here, James Pickett murders a bunch of attractive women that he offers to stay in his house when their automobile breaks down, (despite the stern warnings from his father who knows what his son is capable of), then Pickett forgets that he did this, feels guilty about it, and wanders around so that we can be bored to tears with wretched musical numbers, some nudity, plenty more walking around, and bland conversation. Pickett eventually falls for a nice girl in town and every human watching can correctly surmise how that relationship is going to end up, (i.e. not goodly), and sadly such an inevitable conclusion is a slog to sit through, even with its twist ending in tow.
(1973)
Dir - Paul Harrison
Overall: MEH
The last film to be directed by Paul Harrison who mostly worked in television, The House of Seven Corpses has a cornball premise that is anything but inventive, yet there are moments that have a spooky-by-way-of-embarrassing charm to them. Opening with that age old movie-within-a-movie gag where the audience is not aware that it is a movie-within-a-movie gag, things follow a foreseeable path as a low budget Gothic horror film is being shot on location in a house with a mysteriously tragic past. John Carradine is here as said abode's owner who ruins takes by complaining about their inaccuracy and giving everyone an expository dialog tour so that we learn just how all of the former tenants died there. Things only kick into supernatural gear within the last twenty-odd minutes, which gives us too much time to spend with the rest of our stock characters, including a cranky director, his slacker crew, a prima-donna leading lady who is past her prime, a blonde starlet who is not that bright, and a cynical veteran thespian. We only get one walking corpse instead of the seven that are alluded to in the title, but it looks nice and decrepit once it finally show up and the Utah Govenor's Mansion provides an ideal setting. Still, the set pieces are all clumsily done and the macabre schlock does not go far enough to warrant sitting through the entire thing.
(1977)
Dir - Elliot Silverstein
Overall: MEH
In the annals of haunted automobile movies, Elliot Silverstein's The Car is considered one of the poorest, namely because it is too goofy to take seriously, despite the fact that everyone involved chooses to take it seriously. A hybrid of two superior Steven Spielberg movies, (namely Duel and Jaws), it concerns a supernaturally possessed, 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III that inexplicably starts running over pedestrians while apparently only being immune to a cemetery and moments where the script needs it to stay in park. There are some recognizable mugs on board who give it their all, (John Marley, Ronny Cox, R.G. Armstrong, and James Brolin in the lead), but they all come off as silly when faced against a cartoonish premise that should be played for laughs yet never is. To be fair though, Silverstein stages the numerous attack sequences in a suspenseful manner and the car stunts are well-executed. Long moments of silence are jarringly broken up by the Continental's roaring engine and blaring horn, plus the car's tweaked features such as the flat-black paint job, low roof, massive bumper, and lack of door handles makes it just otherworldly enough to be threatening on paper. The pacing slags with some useless domestic side arcs, but it delivers enough unintentionally funny charm for your average bad movie enthusiast.
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