Dir - Brian Gilbert
Overall: MEH
A confused and laboriously structured premonition/supernatural/something thriller, The Gathering struggles every step of its way. The first and to-date last work in the horror genre from filmmaker Brian Gilbert, it was written by prolific suspense author Anthony Horowitz who has concocted a story with a lackluster premise where "suspense" is instead substituted for confusion and boredom. It all has something to do with ghosts who routinely show up over time to bare witness to tragic events; ghosts that parade around like normal people for awhile beforehand due to reasons that are equally uninteresting. Gilbert drenches the film with a whimsical soundtrack and a flat aesthetic that gives it a Lifetime movie vibe, one that is poorly suited for any sinister atmosphere building. Christina Ricci provides some star power to a movie in desperate need of it, not that the actors do a poor job with the material mind you, but only because the material itself meanders for ninety-odd minutes with top-to-bottom underwritten characters and a rushed narrative that still manages to feel its length.
(2004)
Dir - Christian James
Overall: GOOD
A 16mm, bottom-budgeted debut from independent director/producer Christian James and producer/actor Dan Palmer, Freak Out is their noble attempt at a slasher parody via juvenile Troma gags. It is difficult to tell if the filmmakers find their garish style of humor more funny than the act of making fun of that humor, but in any event, the results here make great use out of its SOV quality, with busy, Sam Raimi-styled editing and camera moves, plus a better sound design, (meaning properly recorded dialog and no obnoxious punk/metal music playing throughout all ninety-eight minutes), than pick-your-favorite Lloyd Kaufman production. The story is asinine and ergo not even worth describing, but the commitment that everyone here has to making fun of a plethora of other genre films and tropes, (all in the cheapest manner possible), is both admirable and actually laugh out loud hilarious at regular intervals. Not all of the jokes work and many of them are either too groan-worthy or too "Huh?" to be universally acceptable, but just as many are in knowingly lousy taste and should appease though who like their movies to be fully aware of how dumb they are.
(2008)
Dir- Neil Marshall
Overall: WOOF
Writer/director Neil Marshall had already proven to have the heart of a bombastic action maestro with his first two films Dog Soldiers and The Descent, but his follow-up Doomsday was his first chance to indulge himself on a fittingly grand budget. Unfortunately, the results are unwatchably stupid. Shot in South African and Scotland with finances that were three times that of the combined amount of his first two movies, he suffocates the screen here with some of the most egregious editing in anything from the post MTV era, going for a Knightriders meets Mad Max meets Escape from New York nightmare that is insultingly pedestrian. It is also mind-numbingly obnoxious, with incessantly blaring music, testosterone-ridden screaming, and some of most hackneyed action movie characters that all come off as unintentionally embarrassing parodies. Rhona Mitra wants to be Snake Plissken for Halloween, Malcolm McDowell's bad guy leads his people back into the medieval times for "huh?", reasons, David O'Hara may as well have "evil guy in a suite who you cannot trust" tattooed on his forehead, and worst of all, Craig Conway is an insult to all scenery-gorging, cartoon-character, barbarian-brained psychos on PCP everywhere. If the movie had one solitary ounce of originality in any of its half-second frames to even notice, then it could be seen as an ultra-violent, popcorn-munching culmination of Marshall's grand ambitions as a filmmaker. Instead, it is as bad as over-stuffed, Ritalin-fueled, and juvenile action movies ever get.
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