That
whole brief "electronica is the next greatest thing since sliced bread"
craze we had in the mid-90s did produce a number of killer albums and
some enduring artist. It also inspired almost everyone under the sun to
take a stab at making some tracks without much in the way of real
instruments represented, (Radiohead most successfully comes to mind).
British not-real-brothers the Chemical Brothers were possibly at the top
of the heap in the genre's heyday and the duo's first two full-lengths Exit Planet Dust and Dig Your Own Hole are two otherworldly fantastic albums. It's the debut Planet Dust
that spawned this here cut, "One Too Many Mornings". This isn't
typical big beat Chemical Brothers in many senses. It's the band at
their more relaxed and chilled, kind of a slow wake-up call after an
ecstasy fueled all nighter. In this regard it should make a good chunk
of sense why it's my favorite of their jams. Cause it's mellow and I
lean towards a band's mellow side like Michael Jackson leans like a
smooth criminal. I could listen to this song on repeat and never tire
of it.
Out
of the many, many, many outstanding pop hits that Queen unveiled over
their nearly three decade career, it's easy to forget that at one point,
yes, they were actually a prog band. Well, they made at least one
straight up prog album that's for sure, that being the sophomore effort Queen II.
Side two of said album was entirely credited to Freddie Mercury and
it's a tour de force medley of Queen at their technical and most
challenging prowess. No song on the album or in the band's entire
discography represents this more than the jaw-dropping awesome that is
"The March of the Black Queen". At six and a half minutes, it's not
only "Bohemian Rhapsody Part I" two years early, but noticeably more
complex and dazzling. The song swings through multiple movements,
tempos, and time signatures, all the stuff progressive rock does in
spades, impressively incorporating everything amazing about Queen to
begin with. Mercury, Brian May, and Roger Taylor's second-to-none
operatic vocal harmonies, May's colorful and distinct leads, and
Freddie's vocal acrobatics and ambitious arrangements. Though I love
the genre with all my wang, most prog bands can only wish they had a
song half as good as this.
Anyone
who knows me has heard me sing the highest of praises to the greatest
local band of all time, (wait, is that even a thing?), of course meaning
Maggot Twat. I have seen this band live four times and that's about a
hundred times too few. They are Gwar on a smaller budget. Except
stupider and infinitely better musically. 8-Bit Apocalypse is
one of the very best metal albums ever made and it's lead off track "A
Vampire Bit My Balls" is this band's quintessential masterpiece. For
those of you who don't know this song's brilliant first verse, and still
wanna have a hard time making it out but for shits and giggles anyway, check
out Mr. Hong's moving rendition here.
Otherwise, do yourself the greatest favor you can and see this band
live as soon as possible, where the video screen will help you along
with all your sing-along needs. Stupid lyrics, stupid riffs, and all
neck-breakingly heavy, Maggot Twat is absolutely everything every metal
band on earth should be. Hail the Twat!
I have an embarrassingly small amount of soul music on this list. I'm blaming being born Caucasian. But anyway, Otis Redding's signature tune "I've Been Loving You Too Long" is undoubtedly one of the greatest rhythm and blues songs of all time, no matter if you ask an expert or my dumb ass. That finger picked guitar melody has been copied so many times, it's as much a part of the genre as the twelve-bar is to the blues in general. But of course, it's Redding's superhuman vocal on here that just sends it into the ether of awesome. If I had to be specific, I'd consider the live Monterrey Pop Festival rendition as the most defining. Really just the most defining considering everything that was amazing about Otis Redding in general. It's a live vocal performance so perfect that all others, no matter what the song or singer, can barely if at all compare.
Another "slow-fuck" gem right here from who else but Mr. John Mayer. This was the first Mayer tune I really, really got into and it's so rooted in slow, panty-moistening R&B that it almost sounds like a cover. Mayer himself has said it's "the most important song" he ever wrote and its proper studio version also comes off the most fantastic album he's put out thus far, of course being Continuum. Mayer sings his arse off here, as he's known to do, especially in a live setting where he tends to show off and further guarantee his getting laid after the performance from at least three or four women in the audience, (I can only speculate here of course). Speaking of showing off, Mayer usually jams the shit out of his songs live, which is a tendency fantastic guitar players have, and "Gravity" is no exception, getting the full axe-slinger acrobatic treatment every time. This version here is particularly, and ridiculously, good. The end of this song can just go on and on and on as far as I'm concerned.
And the heavy metal fury continues. Poofy-pirate shirt and high kick master Yngwie Malmsteen is a difficult man to take seriously for many people. Yes he has made essentially the exact same album over and over again on a regular basis for thirty years now, but the cliche "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" I'd say certainly applies here. Take or leave any Yngwie that thou wishes, but it's pretty difficult to deny the man's opening track from his opening album is fucking awesome. There's a reason that along with "Far Beyond the Sun", also off said debut Rising Force, "Black Star" has been performed at every single concert he's given since always. Both those songs are pretty much signature tunes from the Swedish "taught God how to play guitar" shred master. The hyperfast, neo-classical leads in this song are sexual chocolate, and I love the dark, slamming back-beat that accompanies it. Satan bless the Yngwie and his tight leather pants and ever increasing waste-line!
At last we arrive at the first of two songs on this list written and serenaded by the sexiest man on earth Mr. Lionel Brockman Richie Jr. So, so many to choose from for this God of a man as well. But pretty much since I got his debut self-titled album, "You Are" has been my favorite solo Richie jam. This is just straight-up sunshiny R&B tinged pop right here. If you catch yourself in a shitty mood, bump this song and just try not to be grinning from ear to ear and dancing like David Allan Geer in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka! by the time the chorus hits. It's infectious and perfect, a song as only the Richie knows how to compose. He actually co-wrote it with his then wife Brenda Harvey Richie and the two of them must've simultaneously been on ecstasy and watching Singing In the Rain or something to have constructed such a gloriously giddy cut such as this. If every song in the world sounded like this, we'd probably be living in a musical and war and poverty would be a thing of the past. And that's as political as I get folks.
I've often talked, (OK fine, often "bragged"), that hardcore Kiss fans or hardcore fans of any band really usually hate the songs that are played on the radio from said bands and instead gravitate towards the hidden album gems as their absolute favorite. And I can say with a solid bout of sincerity that nothing proves this point I just made up more than my absolute adoration for Kiss' cover of the Crystals "Then He Kissed Me", the "he" changed to a "she" here for reasons I should hardly have to explain, (here's a clue, Paul Stanley singing about kissing a man would be hilarious yet awkward to say the least). I have loved Kiss' version of this Phil Spector penned jam since the day I heard it and never for any reasons I can explain. I never willingly listen to the original version or ever gave a shit about it before in any capacity. So I'll just blame it on Paul Stanley being able to sing anything and immediately making it all the amazing. Ultimately, this proves that when Kiss was at their best, they could knock off a completely filler, throw-away cover to flesh out an album and it would still end up being better than any original any other band would work diligently hard at.
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