70's Asian Horror Part Nine

HELLISH LOVE

(1972)

Dir - Chûsei Sone

Overall: MEH

 

Breaking away from the exclusive softcore aspects of his first few Roman Porno films for the Nikkatsu Corporation, director Chûsei Sone chose to adapt the famous Japanese kaidan "Botan Dōrō" with Hellish Love, (Seidan botan-dôrô, Erotic Story: The Peony Lantern, Erotic Bride from Hell).  One of numerous screen versions of the story which concerns a doomed romance from beyond the grave, this one runs a brisk sixty-seven minutes in length and features exploitative nudity and sex, as was common for the pinku genre.  Besides these differentiating aspects though, it is merely an adequate retelling of the familiar source material as opposed to something stylistically memorable.  The brief moments of violence are singular from each other though, with an early nightmare murder being shot in suggestive slow motion while the finale finds a man literally slicing open a woman's throat after she swallows money while both parties exhibit a cartoonish amount of greed.  Sone stages some standard yet effectively spooky elements when they are called for, but the pacing is idle and he seems far more concerned with delivering sweaty, overly dramatic sex scenes than anything more atmospherically chilling. 

 

NUNS THAT BITE

(1977)

Dir - Yûji Makiguchi

Overall: MEH

A nasty bit of exploitation from filmmaker Yûji Makiguchi, Nuns That Bite, (Onna gokumon-chô: Hikisakareta nisô, Torn Priestess), is a pinku/nunsploitation/cannibal/rape revenge hybrid whose primary focus is to showcase as much appalling rape, (is there any other kind?), as possible.  This is done in service to an unforgiving narrative where women in an undisclosed period and location in Japan are brutalized by men to the point where they flee to a convent hidden deep within the mountains; a convent that is occupied exclusively by murderous "nuns" who engage in opium smoking, lesbianism, and eating the males that enter their domain after torturing and/or murdering them.  Another alternate title for the movie would be Omino Can't Get a Break as poor Haruka Tajimai in the lead begins the film running away from her abusive pimp, (is there any other kind?), starving enough to eat scraps of thrown away food off of the floor, as two more mountain men rape her on the way to the convent, at which point the one guy that was nice to her shows up and is systematically beheaded as well.  It all leads to a destructive climax where everyone is ranting and raving in pure madness, sending each other to hell as it were, which by the accounts which we have been presented, is a far better place than the real world.

 

SPECIAL SILENCERS

(1979)

Dir - Arizal

Overall: MEH

More absurdity from Indonesia, Special Silencers, (Serbuan Halilintar), is an exploitation martial arts/horror mash-up that goes off the rails quickly and stays off the rails.  Officially released anywhere between 1979 and 1982, (accounts vary), it is one of the more unusual entries in the prolific filmography of director Arizal who worked across several genres and delivers a ridiculous, gross-out, no-budget spectacle here.  Hinging on the premise of a politically motivated black magician who punches his younger-looking grandfather in order to obtain pellets that when ingested will make people's stomachs burst open with red tentacles, it eventually morphs into one hyper-kinetic fight scene after the other.  Seriously, they come with at most three minutes between them as every character on screen with no exception is of course skillfully adept at punching, kicking, and flipping around.  It all creates a hilariously nonsensical tone that is punctuated by equally laugh-out-loud dialog and dangerous set pieces that can only happen in low-end productions like this which clearly had no safety representatives anywhere on location.  Live snakes and rats get thrown at actors with reckless abandon, people are hung upside down, and star Barry Prima holds onto the bottom of a cruising truck.  It grows numbingly stupid after awhile and the endless fight scenes are more boring than riveting, but it is admirably insane for fans of such nonsense.

70's Spanish Horror Part Fifteen

CUADECUC, VAMPI

(1970)

Dir - Pere Portabella

Overall: GOOD

 

The second full-length from experimental filmmaker Pere Portabella, Cuadecuc, vampir utilized the bizarre yet ingenious idea to take footage from the making of Jesús Franco's Count Dracula and turn it into an avant-garde, black and white silent film that is eons more atmospheric and engaging.  It hardly takes any effort to one-up a Franco movie, but even though the narrative follows the same linear time frame that is based off of Bram Stoker's novel, the approach here goes one further than simply telling a straight-ahead story or providing a behind the scenes exposé.  Composed of fly-on-the-wall material that captures the cast and crew goofing around on set mixed with shots done from alternate angles than what Franco used, the exceptional, ambient, and often industrial sound design would fit right at home with David Lynch's Eraserhead.  At other times the soundtrack cuts out entirely or utilizes a couple of seconds of conventional music, but it is always jarringly juxtaposed with sounds or silence that create an endlessly unsettling, tension-fueled tone.  Worth checking out for such mood-setting as well as its singular, genre-defying approach, it stands as one of the most surreal Dracula movies ever made.

 

BEYOND EROTICA

(1974)

Dir - José María Forqué

Overall: MEH

 

An unpleasant, lackadaisical thriller, Beyond Erotica, (No es nada, mamá, sólo un juego, It's Nothing Mama, Just a Game, Lola), plays the exploitation game in a more sincere manner than most, focusing on vile people doing vile things with no nods or winks towards the audience.  That is to say that it is a plantation drama that clearly demonstrates how the indigenous working class are tormented and exploited by wealthy foreigners, and it does this bluntly and humorlessly which is fitting for the ugly material.  David Hemmings plays the sexually depraved, sadistic, and spoiled son of a family whose financial power goes unchecked by the village that they inhabit, with his mother Alida Valli creating a nurturing atmosphere for his perversities.  Elements of incest, back-stabbing, and Stockholm syndrome play into things as well and everything ends on the most cynical of manners where the abused become the abusers and all parties on screen are unrepentantly villainous.  Hemmings is effectively odious, Vallis is pathetically disturbed, and Andrea Rau makes for an alluring victim who turns the tides in her favor.  Throw in some animal cruelty, rape, people hunting people, and Rau getting fed a sandwich full of worms and you have yourself a nasty affair.

BILBAO

(1978)

Dir - Bigas Luna

Overall: MEH

For his grisly debut Bilbao, Catalan filmmaker Bigas Luna showcases the coldly deranged mind of a pervert with OCD for over ninety minutes, basking in the kind of unflinching exploitation allowed in a post-Franco regimented Spain.  The director's penchant for mixing food with eroticism is grossly on display as Àngel Jové narrates his obsession with a prostitute while pouring milk over his much older wife's body and stuffing sausages in the mouths of fish.  As an examination of severe mental illness where detached depravity has completely consumed a miserable individual, the stark presentation goes a long way.  Nearly the only dialog is Jové's inner monologue which means that long bouts of silence and the same two or three pieces of music make for a punishingly repetitive slog of a watch, a watch which is as boring as it is ugly.  The cinematography is persistently poor and perhaps purposely so as there are entire sections shot in almost total darkness where it is impossible to decipher what is even happening when Jové's loathsome character is not cluing us in.  It all leads to an icky yet inevitable abduction climax and scene where Isabel Pisano's title character has her public hair shaved for what seems like seven hours.  It is fascinating in its intimacy and unapologetic grime at least to a point, but it also overstays its welcome and leaves the worst kind of sour taste in one's mouth, again no doubt deliberately.

70's British Horror Part Twenty-Eight

MUMSY, NANNY, SONNY, AND GIRLY

(1970)

Dir - Freddie Francis

Overall: MEH

 

A rare auteur work of sorts from Freddie Francis that was not a directorial assignment from a production studio, Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly, (Girly), was instead made independently and represents one of the exploitation British films from the turn of the 1970s that channeled more risque subject matter.  Based on Maisie Mosco's two-act play Happily Family, screenwriter Brian Comport toned-down or outright eliminated elements of incest, lesbianism, and sadomasochism, though the story kept the disturbed premise of a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs family that holds up in a spacious mansion, kidnapping hapless people and making them partake of childish games and regulations.  Francis set up the project both as a means to attain full creative control and to shoot something at the Victorian Gothic house Oakley Court in Berkshire, which he had merely utilized for exteriors on other films.  Both Vanessa Howard and Howard Trevor behave like kids in a unwholesome home life that skews proper English etiquette into twisted playtime that go on perpetually, and Francis keeps the dark humor in check with all of the ghastly murders played for shock value as the ridiculous scenario goes on undeterred.  Excessive in length and repetitive with an unsatisfactory ending, it still has enough historical merit to recommend.

 

FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY

(1973)

Dir - Jack Smight

Overall: GOOD

 

Equipped with a surprisingly hefty budget for a television film whereas typical BBC productions by comparison where shot on video and utilized cost-cutting measures as much as possible, Frankenstein: The True Story remains one of the most extravagant and ambitious cinematic adaptations of Mary Shelley's novel.  Released the very same year as Dan Curtis' TV movie which was simply titled Frankenstein and was likewise shot in England, this one was initially broadcast in two different, ninety-minute parts, though it elaborates on and bypasses enough ingredients from the source material to be interestingly singular.  As Don Bachardy and Christopher Isherwood's script deviates substantially from previous versions, it also alludes to many of them, particularly with the inclusion of James Mason's dubious Dr. Polidori who is a deliberate stand in for The Bride of Frankenstein's Dr. Pretorius.  Besides its excessive length, it is perhaps mostly known for tweaking the monster's initial appearance as Michael Sarrazin emerges with picturesque features, representing the man-made Adam that is ideally "perfect" until his physicality begins to slowly morph into the more standard and grotesque variety.  Though redundant after so many other Frankenstein films had come before it, (most notably six in the Hammer series up until this point), it is well acted, well paced, and beautifully staged enough to warrant a solid placement amongst the herd.

KILLER'S MOON

(1978)

Dir - Alan Birkinshaw

Overall: WOOF

A formulaic and uneventful slasher-adjacent thriller from Alan Birkinshaw and his second full-length, Killer's Moon gained some notoriety for its then-risque depiction of rape and animal cruelty, but it hardly crosses the threshold of later-day torture porn.  Not that it still fails to be an abysmal offering, but this is due more to its tonal imbalance and staggeringly boring narrative.  A group of schoolgirls are on their way to a thing, their buss breaks down in the middle of nowhere because that is what happens in these movies, they eventually find an off-season hotel to stay the night, and there is a group of escaped mental patients running around as well, also because that is what happens in these movies.  Said psychos are under the shared delusion that they are dreaming everything that happens, thus excusing their murderous, sexually deviant behavior.  Believing that even crazy people would go along with such a scenario is a difficult probability pill for the audience to swallow, but expecting us to stay interested in a film that is eighty percent people hiding and behaving in a nonchalant manner as killers are after them is even more absurd.  It ends up having an awkard comedic tone with everyone not making such a big deal out of their predicament, plus throw in the aforementioned animal murder and raping of minors and it is just an icky, dull experience.

70's British Horror Part Twenty-Seven

DOOMWATCH

(1972)
Dir - Peter Sasdy
Overall: MEH

The first post-Hammer theatrical film from director Peter Sasdy was Doomwatch, (Island of the Ghouls); an environmental not-really-horror film based off of the BBC science fiction series of the same name.  It has a Wicker Man-esque set-up where a scientific investigator visits an isolated island full of aloof inhabitants, but things steady meander after that with a central mystery that is fully explained by the second act.   From there, it plods along in a talky fashion as Ian Bannen's well-meaning protagonist tries in vain to convince the islanders that their plight has nothing to do with biblical judgement and has everything to do with dumped growth stimulants that have affected the local fish that they eat.  Even in its condensed form here as opposed to the television program, it still plays out in a less exciting fashion than it sounds.  There are only two moments that signal any kind of threat and it is all wrapped up, (and heavily proceeded by), endless amounts of banter between scientists, military bureaucrats, shady corporate men, and stubborn townsfolk.  Some gnarly, Ben Grimm-esque makeup and George Sanders making a swarmy cameo aside, it still fails to impress.

 

SON OF DRACULA
(1974)
Dir - Freddie Francis
Overall: MEH

 

An interesting trainwreck for all parties involved, Son of Dracula is a bizarre product of Apple Films, produced by and staring none other than Ringo Starr as a vehicle for none other than Harry Nilsson.  The latter had just recently released his quasi-horror spoof album Son of Schmilsson, which this movie daftly has no relation to.  Instead, it is a largely incomprehensible mess of musical and montage footage with a rough plot line of Nilsson's vampire seeking mortality after falling in love with Van Helsing's charming assistant.  Ringo plays Merlin the Magician, Dr. Frankenstein is the villain, Skip Martin shows up, a werewolf and the Frankenstein monster show up, (though they may be wax figures come to life), and Nilsson's bar band includes the likes of The Rolling Stones' horn section, Leon Russell, Klaus Voormann, Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Peter Frampton.  Also, it was directed by Hammer and Amicus mainstay Freddie Francis, though he bowed out during the editing phase for logical reasons.  At one point Graham Chapman, Douglas Adams, and Bernard McKenna were even commissioned to write a new script to be dubbed over the footage, yet this never came to pass.  Likewise, the film failed to get commercially released and has merely survived in midnight movie screenings and bootleg versions ever since.  Unfortunately a sluggish watch with no intended humor coming across besides Nilsson's name being Count Downe, (get it?), but rock and horror buffs should probably give it a curiosity viewing at some point.

 

EXPOSÉ

(1976)

Dir - James Kenelm Clarke

Overall: MEH

The sleazy, lackluster thriller Exposé, (House on Straw Hill, Trauma), from writer/director James Kenelm Clarke has little going for it besides it being a registered video nasty and staring genre regulars Udo Kier and Linda Hayden in the leads.  Apparently neither actor was happy with the results, as Kier rightfully lamenting the fact that he was allegedly never paid for his work, had difficulties with co-star Fiona Richmond, and had his recognizable German voice dubbed over, while Hayden merely considered it the only movie in her filmography that she regretted doing.  The story concerns a chauvinistic writer who rents out an isolated abode to finish his latest novel, hiring a secretary with her own revenge agenda that he only becomes aware of when it is far too late.  In the meantime, Hayden gets naked, gets raped, plays with herself, and has a narratively unnecessary lesbian encounter, while Kier drinks excessively and grows frustrated with his failed sexual advances towards his employee.  Hardly the most charming set of characters to be stuck with for eighty-odd minutes and nothing happens that is particularly shocking or interesting.  Different edits of the film exist with more or less nudity and bloodshed depending, but it ends up being a forgettable bit of exploitation in either capacity.

70's American Horror Part Sixty-Five - (Paul Wendkos Edition)

THE MEPHISTO WALTZ

(1971)

Overall: MEH

 

"Uneven" is a good word to describe Paul Wendkos' Satanic murder mystery The Mephisto Waltz.  The most noticeable issue is the script itself, which is adapted from Fred Mustard Stewart's novel of the same name.  Every character has debatable morals that make it difficult to decide if their illogical actions are on account of bad writing, eccentricities, or just plain old Satan.  A handful of plot points transpire that are either quickly glossed over or utterly ignored, which makes for a sloppy narrative that is flimsy with too many of its details.  As a horror film goes though, look for a dog wearing a mask and an unsettling statue bust latter on as just two of several examples of visual creepiness.  There is plenty of debauchery afoot as well, but due to it being a major release from 20th Century Fox, nudity and gore are both largely omitted.  It fails to really kick into full gear, plus a later protagonist switch and the inevitable rug-pull in the finale are clumsily executed by the otherwise competent Wendkos from the director's chair.  Occult horror certainly has better offerings than this, but flaws and all, it is still adequate in parts.

 

HAUNTS THE VERY RICH

(1972)

Overall: GOOD

A chilling ABC Movie of the Week from veteran television director Paul Wendkos, Haunts the Very Rich has a top-to-bottom recognizable cast and a simple yet effective "paradise as purgatory" scenario.  Shot on location in Miami, Florida, it presents a warped version of Fantasy Island that predates Lost's similar premise by several decades, isolating a rag-tag group of wealthy protagonists on a mysterious luxury resort right at the on-set of a tremendous hurricane.  Well, that could be an explanation as to what is going on since the circumstances continue to get more and more dire, each time escalating right after the distraught hotel guests start to relax and gain some of their much needed hope back.  Lloyd Bridges, Ed Asner, Cloris Leachman, Robert Reed, Moses Gunn, and Anne Francis all deliver effective and singular performances from one another, plus Wendkos keeps things moving after a slow start, which is made acceptable due to the brisk seventy-five minute running time.  The ending is particularly effective, throwing both the characters and the audience a series of psyche-out twists that leave a disturbing impression once the credits hit.

 

THE LEGEND OF LIZZIE BORDEN

(1975)

Overall: MEH

Noticeable for featuring Elizabeth Montgomery playing her sixth, once-removed, real life title cousin, the ABC Movie of the Week The Legend of Lizzie Borden is a sufficient court room thriller based on the infamous, late 19th century, Massachusetts murder case.  Told in sections or chapters that detail each event leading up to and including the murder of Borden's father and step-mother as well as the ensuing trial, it gradually sheds more malicious light on the proceedings as the flashback sequences are divulged, each one stemming from another testimony on the witness stand.  Montgomery's non-grieving portrayal is initially seen as suspicious as she tries to keep her dignified wits about herself, and every piece of evidence brought forth by the prosecution is given reasonable doubt.  This would paint a more innocent picture if not for the fact that the filmmakers also show us what is presumed to be the "actual" murderous acts of Borden's accused spinster, which are presented as soft-focused and demented daydreams just before the verdict is announced.  Montgomery turns in a coldly aloof performance and the recognizable supporting players, (many of whom are fellow television alumni), fair just as respectable.

 

GOOD AGAINST EVIL

(1977)

Overall: MEH

Another failed pilot-turned ABC Movie of the Week, Good Against Evil boasts a screenplay from none other than Hammer regular Jimmy Sangster, with television director Paul Wendkos handling the material efficiently as usual.  While the concept of a Rosemary's Baby/Exorcist/The Omen hybrid for TV may seem downright obvious for the 1970s as all three films represent the most copied in the genre for the time period, it comes off as a redundant re-hash of such cliches in its lone, feature-length form.  Losing points for originality then, it gets by with some intense, Satanic atmosphere and dialed-in performances.  Richard Lynch and his naturally villainous looks makes for an ideal Astaroth High Priest, both Dack Rambo and Elyssa Davalos are a charming if doomed couple, and even Kim Cattrall joins the party in one of her earliest roles, though she lays on the old school, melodramatic cadence just thick enough to be jarring.  Being a television production, there is only suggested nudity and comparatively mild violence to what was already being accepted in theatrically released genre works, and Wendkos has no choice but to stall the middle of the proceedings with Rambo and Davalos' budding romance.  Still, an old woman gets killed by her own cats, Lynch spouts some evil alter ramblings, and it ends on an appropriate cliff-hanger that leaves us guess as to how many more occult tropes would have gotten dished-out.

70's American Horror Part Sixty-Four

W

(1974)

Dir - Richard Quine

Overall: MEH

 

Though it boasts some decent performances and has an intense finale, W, (I Want Her Dead, W Is the Mark of Death), ends up being a poorly plotted and poorly paced psychological thriller.  Serving as the second leading role for British model-turned-actor Twiggy, it has a premise involving a psychotic ex-husband terrorizing her and her new husband at their beach house; a premise that is loaded with logical inconsistencies.  The couple gets tormented on a regular basis and in increasingly intense fashion, yet never once do they think to call the police.  Instead, a no-nonsense private investigator just suspiciously shows up at their property and after only being cautious of him for about twenty-four hours, they decide to utilize his shady services which only make him look more dubious in intent.  Once the bad guy finally makes an appearance, he only does so because Gerald Di Pego and James Kelley's script has jumped through enough far-fetched hoops to get him there.  With idiotic character behavior and "Ummm...I don't think it works that way" narrative contrivances top-to-bottom, it would be laughably inept if not for the straight-faced presentation.  Dirk Benedict turns in a genuinely disturbing performance as the disgruntled stalker and though Twiggy's character is equipped with the usual feeble-willed hysterical woman motifs, she at least makes for a convincing victim.

 

MANSION OF THE DOOMED

(1976)

Dir - Michael Pataki

Overall: MEH

 

Character actor Michael Pataki got behind the lens for the first time on Mansion of the Doomed, (The Terror of Dr. Chaney, Massacre Mansion, Eyes, Eyes of Dr. Chaney, House of Blood), which doubles as Charles Band's second production job.  One of countless genre films to retread Georges Franju's Eyes Without a Face, the premise here is virtually identical as a wackadoo surgeon kidnaps over half a dozen people in order to remove their eyes so that he can transplant them into his recently blinded daughter.  That logically sound plan goes off exactly as you would expect and leads to a fittingly gruesome comeuppance for Richard Basehart's lead mad scientist.  While Basehart's performance grows increasingly unhinged, he is presented as being several sandwiches short of a picnic from the opening scene, constantly muttering to himself and putting on a nonchalant, "I'm in complete control" facade almost until the finale.  Supporting roles from Lance Henriksen and Gloria Grahame are fun, but the star of the show is Stan Winston's grisly makeup effects as numerous actors wear eyeless prosthetics that are in keeping with the exploitative, unwholesome tone.  Too derivative to stand out, but it is well deserving of its video nasty reputation.

VAMPIRE

(1979)

Dir - E. W. Swackhamer

Overall: MEH

 

1979 was ripe with movies that concerned the undead and the simply-titled Vampire was also one of several failed series pilots to find its way onto prime-time as a stand-alone feature.  Veteran television director, (with one of the funniest names in the business), E.W. Swackhamer helmed a script that was co-authored by Steven Bochco, who would later create several notable TV shows, none of which came within miles of the horror genre.  Cast wise though, there are many recognizable players such as Jason Miller, E.G. Marshall, Richard Lynch, and even Joe Spinell in a non-schlubby cameo.  While it is agreeably made and the performers treat the material without any winks towards the audience, it is also bog-standard as far as vampire movies go.  Lynch makes a menacing, suave presence as a centuries-old blood-sucker who has amassed a fortune in his long, otherworldly life, but once he is discovered by Miller and Marshall who decide to go all Van Helsing in tracking him down, there is little for Lynch to do besides take a backsteat to the proceedings and occasionally emerge to smugly deliver some threatening dialog.  He of course rides off to do vampire things for another day, but the cliffhanger is hardly compelling enough for anyone to be jonesing for what happens next.

70's American Horror Part Sixty-Three

THE BEGUILED

(1971)

Dir - Don Siegel

Overall: GOOD

The Southern Gothic thriller The Beguiled marked the third collaboration between director Don Siegel and star Clint Eastwood, itself an adaptation of Thomas P. Cullinan's novel of the same name.  Noted for Eastwood playing against type as an emasculated Union soldier, it has exploitative elements inherent in a story where a houseful of well-to-do women get the upper hand on their traumatic situation, with Eastwood's arrival opening up a barrage of sexual aggression and feminist agency.  Set in the South where the trials and tribulations of the Civil War have become commonplace, the women help-up in a seminary school are constantly only the look-out for soldiers or drifters on either side who would take sexual advantage of a house that is exclusively made up of females.  While Eastwood's character has trace elements of a conman, he must also be seen as just another person, (like the women), who is taking advantage of his present traumatic situation.  This makes the ending less about comeuppance than it is about the crippling religious and moral values brought on by a divided nation, and the whole thing is done with enough well-intended style to be of merit.

 

THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER

(1973)

Dir - Jeannot Szwarc

Overall: MEH

Yet again, the influence of Rosemary's Baby runs deep with another occult-fueled ABC Movie of the Week, this time being the apply titled The Devil's Daughter.  Written by Colin Higgins who would later go on to direct Foul Play and 9 to 5, this rare work in the horror genre from him shows a noticeable lack of originality, throwing in the common motifs of a clandestine Satanic cult that does whatever it can to manipulate the life of their Dark Lord's offspring.  This includes making deaths look like accidents and making accidents look like black magic was not involved, plus there are of course people who pose as friends yet are actually in on the blasphemous shenanigans.  At the on-set of the third act, Belinda Montgomery's title character and Robert Foxworth decide to laugh and date on the very same night of his girlfriend and her roommate's sudden death, leading to a twist ending that any audience member will see coming from all of the miles away.  Still, Joseph Cotten, Shelley Winters, a mute Jonathan Frid, Diane Lad, and even Abe Vigoda showing up in such black-robed, evil-chanting silliness is worth a hoot, if not nearly enough to elevate it above being the watered-down, derivative off-spring of much finer films.

 

THE SPECTRE OF EDGAR ALLAN POE

(1974)

Dir - Mohy Quandour

Overall: WOOF

The second full-length from sporadic director Mohy Quandour was the cheap, laboriously dull The Spectre of Edgar Allan Poe.  It may be of interest to genre fans for containing the last performance from The House on Haunted Hill and Spider Baby's Carol Ohmart, plus Cesar Romero shows up as an insane asylum doctor doing dubious mad scientist stuff because movies.  The story itself tells a fictionalized account of Poe's life, presenting a scenario where his often written about muse Lenore was an actual woman that he was infatuated with; a woman whose mind breaks and whose hair goes white after nearly being buried alive.  This sets things up in the aforementioned asylum where Lenore is admitted, at which point Poe decides to hang out for macabre inspiration.  Though the premise is not inherently humdrum, the presentation is exactly that.  Most of the film is nothing more than characters slowly walking around poorly-lit sets while thunder blares on the soundtrack for ominous ambiance.   Whatever Romero's character is up to is poorly explained if it is explained at all and the same goes for Ohmart who barely says anything before spontaneously going mad herself.  All of the performances are lackluster, yet this is largely due to the uninspired material that is void of both suspense and compelling set pieces.

70's American Horror Part Sixty-Two

MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE 

(1971)

Dir - Gordon Hessler

Overall: MEH

American International Pictures continued on with another Edgar Allan Poe "adaptation" in title only with Murders in the Rue Morgue.  Lacking all of the personnel that made their initial Roger Corman/Vincent Price run legitimate, this one at least had the good sense to bring on director Gordon Hessler who had worked with Price on the latter's last three films.  Hessler and screenwriters Christopher Wicking and Henry Slesar recalibrated Poe's source material into a play-within-a-play framework, opening the film with a clever dupe that sets up the rest of the premise where nightmares and premonitions are constantly woven into the narrative to the point of endless confusion.  While this is a solid idea in theory and Hessler stages some adequately spooky dream sequences, it also becomes a detriment in making the movie difficult to follow.  By indulging in too many moments where Christine Kaufmann wakes up screaming in bed, it becomes repetitive and leads to a messy climax that seems more drawn-out than suspenseful.  Several members of the cast are recognizable and Jason Robards is a nice edition to quasi-Gothic horror, but Herbert Lom is essentially playing the exact same part that he did in Hammer's version of Phantom of the Opera nine years earlier, for better or worse.

 

THE STRANGER WITHIN

(1974)

Dir - Lee Philips

Overall: MEH

 

Television director Lee Philips and noted genre screenwriter Richard Matheson team up for The Stranger Within; an ABC Movie of the Week hybrid of Rosemary's Baby and Village of the Damned.  Matheson adapts his own novelette Trespass about an unassuming housewife who becomes miraculously impregnated by an alien force.  Those around her come to this conclusion due to a series of exhaustive and frustrating endeavors considering that the woman's husband is shooting blanks, which creates the usual "Well then who is the father?", domestic household tension.  Barbara Eden does fine work in the lead, ranting and raving with her jarring mood swings and cravings for both coffee and salt as the mysterious, extraterrestrial presences rapidly grows inside of her womb.  While Philips maintains a sinister enough atmosphere considering the television presentation and the ending leaves things off on a chilling note, Matheson's story is predictable due to the familiar ingredients that have inspired it.  There are no twists in the plot development; just increasing tension as Eden grows more and more unhinged and those around her become equally distraught with the situation.

DRACULA'S DOG

(1977)

Dir - Albert Band

Overall: MEH

The fact that a film titled both Dracula's Dog and Zoltan...Hound of Dracula is not as laugh-out-loud ridiculous as one would logically assume is either a detriment or a saving grace, depending on the viewer.  Director Albert Band was no stranger to low-level genre offerings and he brings a surprising level of dullness to the proceedings here, failing to emphasize the movie's unavoidably absurd premise for campy pizazz.  Instead, it is treated like a "legitimate" vampire movie with a scholarly undead expert showing up on the scene to convince Michael Pataki that he is indeed the last surviving descendant of Count Dracula and that a blood-sucking canine is indeed after him and his loved ones.  Notable as one of Stan Winston's earlier special effects jobs, he pulls off a few convincing dog bites, but this is hardly a spectacle for practical blood and guts-shedding.  Most of the proceedings are spent with Pataki and his well-do-do family doing normal suburban things and then camping in the woods, while Austrian character actor Reggie Nalder stares wide-eyed into the camera about seven dozen times.  There is some demonic howling on the soundtrack that adds a much needed bit of evil ambiance, though it is never enough to elevate either the snooze-worthy pace or Band's flat direction.

70's American Horror Part Sixty-One

THE EYES OF CHARLES SAND

(1972)

Dir - Reza Badiyi

Overall: MEH

 

A failed TV pilot that was then delegated to being an ABC Movie of the Week, The Eyes of Charles Sand may be of interest for containing minor appearances by Adam West and Joan Bennett.  The story itself has a nifty enough premise of a man who is gifted/cursed by hereditary, supernatural premonitions after the death of his uncle.  Unfortunately, such a hook is poorly utilized throughout the unfolding hour and fifteen minutes and all but abandoned in the second half where it turns into a lackluster drama featuring two shady relatives that are trying to convince their sister that she did not see them murder her brother.  Before this unfortunate narrative detour though, veteran television director Reza Badiyi stages some freaky scenes concerning Peter Haskell's otherworldly visions, including a woman with cartoonishly-aged make-up on and his uncle with glassy eyes.  Both Barbara Rush and Sharon Farrell turn in obnoxious performances, though this has more to do with the poor writing which has the later behaving like a childish lunatic only because she is being duped by her siblings, while the former is perfectly calm and unassuming until the final set piece where she goes full-blown psychobiddy wackadoo.

KNIFE FOR THE LADIES

(1974)

Dir - Larry G. Spangler

Overall: MEH

Producer Larry G. Spangler's directorial career was exclusively dedicated to the Western genre, making his 1974 effort Knife for the Ladies a slight variation as it is also a slasher movie.  Though the hybrid is unique in some respects and certainly so for the time period, the resulting film is typical of low-budget offerings that were ill-equipped with uninteresting scripts, flat direction, and stagnant pacing.  Set in the Old West of course, Jeff Cooper has a curly blonde afro that is completely clashing with the time period, plus he smirks his way through all of his line readings with a swagger that is not entirely appropriate to a character that is sent to a small Arizona town which is besieged by a mysterious, prostitute-killing psycho.  Though it opens with back-to-back murders done with some POV flare, things permanently settle into boredom from there on out as the movie becomes nothing more than a series of endless talking scenes that offer up regurgitated information while pointing to the obvious culprit the entire time.  Naturally then, the ending is hardly as rug-pulling as was intended, least of all because the would-be shocking set pieces is already telegraphed on the film's poster.  Sans some bloodshed, it has a dated, made-for-TV presentation and no star power, but the major issue is still its lackadaisical flow.

THUNDERCRACK!

(1975)

Dir - Curt McDowell

Overall: WOOF

A black and white, pornographic horror comedy and the third full-length from queer, underground filmmaker Curt McDowell, Thundercrack! is a typically meandering mess that only the most forgiving of midnight movie fans can endure.  Primarily staged as a set of improvisational, cinéma vérité monologues, it over stays its welcome at nearly three hours in length.  Equally uncharasmatic and unphotogenic actors prattle on and talk over each other, each one delivering obnoxious performances that intentionally emphasize high camp and satirical melodrama.  There are numerous sex scenes, (some between a man and woman, some between two women, some between two men, some involving sex toys, some involving a gorilla), but even then, the incessant banter hardly stops and more ridiculous scenarios are described in agonizingly grating detail than shown.  McDowell occasionally treats us to bizarre vignettes and closeups, but for the most part, things stay in its old dark house setting where all of the hedonistic hippies can sit around boring each other and the viewer.  As a desperate genre mash-up, it gets some points for its wild ambitions, (plus John Waters fans will appreciate its gleeful, bad taste button-pushing and risque visuals), but it is borderline unwatchable in its execution.

70's American Horror Part Sixty

ARNOLD

(1973)

Dir - Georg Fenady

Overall: MEH

 

The second and ergo the last of only two theatrical releases from director Georg Fenady, (both of which were horror, shot at the same time, featured several of the same actors, came out in 1973, and were financed by Bing Crosby Productions), Arnold is slightly superior and at least more interesting than its unassuming companion piece Terror in the Wax Museum.  Premise wise, it concerns the aristocratic title character and Stella Stevens getting married in the odd opening scene, post the former technically being a corpse in an open casket.  Such a silly narrative gimmick is used to the fullest as Lord Arnold Dwellyn's shenanigans seem to come from beyond the grave as he is twelve steps ahead of everyone that is trying to double-cross the fine print in his last will and testament.  Lighthearted and mildly amusing with copious amounts of fog and a macabre finale at its disposal, the familiar cast appears to be in on the fun with a particularly scenery-chewing Elsa Lancaster and a swarmy Roddy McDowall being the most enjoyable.

 

THE TURN OF THE SCREW

(1974)

Dir - Dan Curtis
Overall: MEH

 

Shot in London with a nearly exclusive English cast, Dan Curtis' ABC Movie of the Week interpretation of The Turn of the Screw is a largely unnecessary teleplay variation that fails to capture the astonishingly chilling heights of Jack Clayton's seminal 1961 film The Innocents.  Oddly, Megs Jenkins returns from said movie, once again playing the exact same role in the exact same manner where most of her monologues are delivered while concernedly gazing away from Lynn Redgrave's protagonist in proper somber, melodramatic fashion.  Redgrave is fine as the governess who slowly unravels a string of supernatural manipulation, plus child actors Jasper Jacob and Eva Griffith handle their charming mannerisms in a sinister fashion as is appropriate to Henry James' source material.  It is mostly the shot on videotape presentation that fails to impress as the entire production looks as low-end as any other BBC serial from the era and it is therefor not adequately suited for creating cinamatically atmospheric spookiness.  The two-hour running time is also less than ideal as so many "I swear I saw someone...oh wait, now they're gone" set pieces get thrown in that it becomes a grating, talky experience as poor Miss Cubberly simply cannot get a break in convincing anyone else of what is happening.

 

DIE SISTER, DIE!

(1978)

Dir - Randall Hood

Overall: MEH

Equipped with one of the most misleading film posters of all time, Die Sister, Die!, (The Companion), is a lackluster psychobiddy thriller and the final directorial effort from Randall Hood, who died two years before it was released.  The movie was actually shot in 1972, but production difficulties let it linger on the shelf until it was finally finished by star Jack Ging.  In any event, it certainly comes off as dated since the budgeting video nasty boom was on the horizon and the TV movie presentation here lacks the necessary exploitative qualities to peak the interest of audience members that were clamoring for sleaze and overt violence.  Instead, we have Ging playing an unwholesome man who hatches an illogical scheme to smooth-over a new live-in companion for his mentally unstable sister, all in an attempt to allow her to commit suicide and ergo leave their father's vast fortune solely over to him.  Several obvious things can go wrong with such a plan and indeed they do, leading to a predictable climax that not even a later plot twist can strike any life into.  The small cast is made up of respectable veteran actors and they do the hum-drum material solid, but the story is pedestrian and Hood only manages to throw in one rubbery, surreal, Roger Corman-esque nightmare sequence into the mix to break up what is otherwise a stagnant affair.

70's Mexican Horror Part Four - (René Cardona Jr. Edition)

BLOOD FEAST

(1972)

Overall: WOOF

 

Not to be confused with Herschell Gordon Lewis' 1963 crapfest of the same name, René Cardona Jr.'s Blood Feast, (La noche de los mil gatos, Night of a Thousand Cats), is rightfully regarded as a terrible piece of celluloid in its own right.  His first straight foray into horror, director René Cardona Jr. makes a thoroughly pathetic attempt at the genre, turning in something that is catastrophically boring even in its butchered, American cut which runs a measly sixty-three minutes long.  About half of such a running time is spent with Hugo Stiglitz flying around a in a helicopter, essentially pulling the Night at the Roxbury "Eh...me...eh?" gag as he hovers above scantily-clad women by their outdoor swimming pools, landing by the ones who pick up on his asinine attempt at wooing them over.  He then brings them to his castle, shows them a bunch of disturbing Gothic decor, and murders them in order to grind them up and feed the chunks to his plethora of felines.  This structure gets rinsed and repeated until a woman's car stalls during her getaway at the end, making the whole thing as insultingly lazy as it is stupid.

 

TINTORERA

(1977)

Overall: WOOF

 

While Jaws: The Revenge is commonly recognized as the worst movie to spawn in the wake of Steven Spielberg's aquatic terror blockbuster, (unless we are to count the purposely terrible Sharknado boom in later decades), René Cardona Jr.'s wretchedly dull Tintorera, (Tintorera: Killer Shark), is easily the most misleading.  Despite the fact that the movie does in fact include shark hunting, the first proper attack happens a whopping hundred minutes in, rendering over two-thirds of it as nothing more than the saga of vacationing gigolos.  Both Hugo Stiglitz and Andrés García get more ass than a toilet seat as women come in and out of the proceedings, with a top-billed Susan George receiving the most screen time during the second act.  Those hip to its casually sleazy agenda, (i.e those who are not waiting in endless frustration for the tiger shark-munching mayhem to finally commence), may appreciate the violence towards animals, moronic character behavior, copious amounts of nudity, and tropical ocean bloodshed in the last twenty-odd minutes of the mercifully shorter American cut.  For the rest of us though who have far better things to do with our time, this must honestly be viewed as an insulting piece of trash that misses its intended mark by untold miles.

 

THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE

(1978)

Overall: MEH

During the late 1970s, René Cardona Jr. seemed hellbent on torturing his audience with two hour long, boring-ass movies set on a boat and The Bermuda Triangle, (El Triángulo diabólico de las Bermudas, Il triangolo delle Bermude, The Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle, Devil's Triangle of Bermuda), is another textbook example.  Featuring frequent on-screen collaborators Hugo Stiglitz and Andrés García, John Huston of all people joins the festivities as well, presumably to pay off gambling or tax debt.  Based on the sensationalized "non fiction" book of the same name by Charles Berlitz , it is indeed set in the infamous ocean mass that was long fabled to hold supernatural powers and the premise itself of trapping a boat full of people there is not in and of itself a poor one.  The hopeless vessel suffers navigation and machinery malfunctions, several of its passengers drown or are mortally injured during a hurricane, and their S.O.S. messages seem to float around cryptically with others that are decades old.  Cardona Jr. as well as fellow screenwriters Stephen Lord and Carlos Valdemar even throw in a stupid creepy kid and her stupid creepy doll who nonchalantly spouts cryptic warnings the whole way through.  A sluggish watch that is at least thirty minutes too long, (with an unacceptably low amount of exciting set pieces at its disposal), it fails to maintain the right ominous vibe.

 

CYCLONE

(1978)

Overall: WOOF

Imagine Alfred Hitchcock's Lifeboat except without a single solitary line of interesting dialog, interchangeably miserable characters, a dog getting murdered and eaten, cannibalism, wah-wah guitar music, sharks, and about two hours long.  This will give one a proper grasp of what René Cardona Jr.'s survival horror tragedy Cyclone, (El Ciclón, Terror Storm), entails.  Once again containing a misleading title, the tropical storm only shows up in the very first scene, so anyone that was expecting a Mexican Twister full of wailing-wind set pieces will be even more disappointed than the already disappointing film is.  Instead, we have lots of people trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean and then the movie ends.  This is not an exaggeration as things grow both dire and boring throughout the running time, with the only deviation being another new obstacle for our rag-tag group of survivors to endure.  The only character whose name you are likely to remember is Carroll Baker's aforementioned survivor food dog Christmas since everyone else merely lays around exhausted and famished, only coming alive to bicker with each other.  Cardona Jr certainly sticks to his dour guns as far as the tone is concerned, but with the stakes quickly established and then stubbornly stuck to with no one to care about, it is a merciless chore to sit through.

70's Foreign Horror Part Twenty-Five - (Alain Robbe-Grillet Edition)

EDEN AND AFTER

(1970)

Overall: MEH

Even by Alain Robbe-Grillet's demanding standards, Eden and After, (L'Eden et après, Eden a potom...), is more impenetrable than usual.  Though it does posses a "story" and even something resembling a "plot", (both deservedly in quotation marks), Robbe-Grillet made it up on the fly during shooting, all as an experiment inspired both by the filmmaker's frustration with his previous, black and white movies failing to make a buck and by composer Arnold Schoenberg's twelve-tone music.  Themes were chosen at random and none of the performers were savvy to what if anything they were to properly convey, leaving Robbe-Grillet and his cinematographer Igor Luther to construct the finish product from moment to moment.  A truly experimental work then in a literal sense, the results are hit or miss as far as avant-garde cinema is concerned.  Many of the shots are evocative and there are engaging moments where it all seems to be heading to some destination, no matter how obtuse.  A montage of fragmented ideas first and foremost, it is all strictly up to interpretation and to be taken at face value, but it may fairly leave a predominant amount of viewers left scratching their heads in hefty bemusement.

 

N. A PRIS LES DÉS...

(1971)

Overall: MEH

 

The experimenting for experiment's sake continues with N. a pris les dés..., (N. Has Taken the Dice...); a companion piece to the previous year's Eden and After in that it is made up of footage from the exact same shoot.  More aggressively than before, Alain Robbe-Grillet insists on the viewer doing all of the work here, even flat-out proclaiming in the closing moments that none of the images presented have any meaning and that it is up to the viewer to "choose the game" based on coming to any conclusion as to what they have just watched.  One could argue that this is the modus operandi of all of Grillet's cinematic works, but this particular example has an extra layer of redundancy to it, considering that we have already experienced these openly admitted, meaningless images.  Whereas Eden and After had some semblance of a narrative through-line that the audience could put together after considerable straw-grasping, its accomplice comes off more as a series of outtakes, offering up mere variations of the same already arbitrary set pieces.  One could edit the fragments together in absolutely any order, flip through a dictionary and pick out words at random, and then have the characters narrate them over the results and it would be an identical viewing experience.  This may be the point, to make something that forces more interactive participation, but it is unavoidably indulgent and pretentious in its unorthodox process.

 

SUCCESSIVE SLIDINGS OF PLEASURE

(1974)

Overall: MEH

Incoherent throughout every last frame, Alain Robbe-Grillet's Successive Slidings of Pleasure, (Glissements progressifs du plaisir), is a stereotypical art film with macabre sensibilities to go along with its exploration of the perverse.  A young, beautiful, yet above all else hopelessly disturbed woman is accused of murdering her female partner/lover/roommate/employee and we are witness to her repetitive bouts of fantasy where everyone that she meets becomes a pawn in her sadistically fascinated psyche.  There are no moments herein that can be trusted to actually be taking place in the "real world", which is the entire point for Robbe-Grillet who takes the opportunity to explore the deep, flowing recesses of Anicée Alvina's mind.  It casts a hypnotic spell on the audience, with a subdued, sinister sound design accompanying an assortment of surreal images involving a bed sinking into a beach, a nude mannequin, body art, blasphemy, masturbation, a shovel, a pair of blue shoes, eggs, a broken glass bottle, and some other stuff.  The pacing is comatose and overbearing at an hour and forty-five minutes, but it does make for a compelling watch at irregular intervals at least.

70's Foreign Horror Part Twenty-Four

THE VAMPIRE HAPPENING

(1971)

Dir - Freddie Francis

Overall: MEH

A failed horror/comedy set up by producer Pier A. Caminnecci and British cinematographer/director Freddie Francis as a staring vehicle for the former's wife Pia Degermark, The Vampire Happening, (Gebissen wird nur nachts, They Only Bite at Night), is at least too innocently stupid to be unwatchably terrible.  Francis disowned the project since he found it to be a problematic production as Caminnecci allegedly insisted upon cameos from friends and whatnot.  The resulting movie goes for a juvenile combination of blood-sucking and horndog hijinks, none of which are remotely funny yet are clearly trying to be.  It is no accident that it cast The Fearless Vampire Killers' Ferdy Mayne in a supporting role as Count Dracula himself, turning in a fittingly hammy performance with one of the most exaggerated Béla Lugosi impressions dubbed over it.  Most of the movie hinges upon Degermark playing two different characters, one undead, one not, and both perpetually horny as Yvor Murillo whimpers around trying to murder the vampiric one.  Francis seems to have given up before the project even got going since there is no cinematic showiness to the proceedings, making for something both visually dull and groan-worthy in its doofy attempts at humor.

 

THE HOURGLASS SANATORIUM

(1973)

Dir - Wojciech Jerzy Has

Overall: MEH

 

Poetically labyrinth-like, Wojciech Jerzy Has' non-literal adaptation of Bruno Schulz's novel Sanatorium Pod Klepsydrą takes a similar approach that David Cronenberg would utilize with William S. Burroughs' Naked Lunch two decades later.  Namely, this entails utilizing various other aspects from the author's writings into a story that is fundamentally impenetrable and made up of hallucinatory set pieces.  The Hourglass Sanatorium, (Sanatorium pod klepsydrą, The Sandglass), explores non-linear time, childhood memories, and a post-Holocaust, Galicia landscape where Jan Nowicki visits his dying/already dead father in a dilapidated sanatorium only to embark on a spontaneous trek through his own interweaving psyche.  Each sequences feeds into the next in an effectively dreamlike manner where the locale changes in mid-shot and various imaginary characters float in and out.  Stylistically, it is purposely challenging and especially difficult to latch onto for those that are unfamiliar with Schulz' source materials.  While this makes it unavoidably frustrating as none of the many dialog exchanges provide any conventional, cohesive purpose, it is visually vast in its ethereal, war-torn setting.  The atmosphere is particularly unsettling without utilizing any horror motifs in a narrative manner, but those who are lost within the first fifteen minutes will likely be just as lost by the final one-hundred and twenty.

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

(1977)

Dir - Calvin Floyd

Overall: GOOD

The penultimate film from Swedish-born director Calvin Floyd, Victor Frankenstein, (Terror of Frankenstein), is a Swedish/Irish co-production that remains largely faithful to Mary Shelley's source materiel, at least compared to most other versions that had arrived by 1977.  Done on a noticeably modest budget, the most noticeable differentiating quality is its low-key tone.  Incidental music is used minimally and the narrative it told out of sequence, with a massive time jump taking place midway through, at which point the monster's exploits post-creation are told via a lengthy flashback sequence.  Both Lion Vitali and Per Oscarsson are well-utilized as the doctor and creature respectively, with Vitali having a youthful exuberance that quickly gives way to somber exhaustion and despair while Oscarsson is a more calmly sinister presence as opposed to the often-seen, purely tragic and pathetic one.  The pacing may be too deliberate for some and most of the elements in Shelley's novel are underplayed to fit it all into a ninety-minute framework.  Still, the slightly unorthodox approach makes the deliberate pacing more agreeable than it otherwise would be and the somber, less sensationalized atmosphere is a welcome addition to something that has been adapted to the screen countless times.