1980s Italian Horror Part Ten - (Bruno Mattei Edition)

HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD

(1980)

Overall: MEH

Though it has often been delegated to being a mere Dawn of the Dead knock-off, Bruno Mattei's Hell of the Living Dead, (Virus - l'inferno dei morti viventi, Virus, Night of the Zombies, Zombie Creeping Flesh), is wacky and terrible in various other ways.  Developed by producers with the intent to further cash-in on the profitable, gore-ridden zombie boom, director Mattei was allegedly given two different scripts with his lesser choice from Claudio Fragasso and Rossella Drudi being the one that was ultimately green-lit.  Once production began, of course the budget was insufficient which meant that the cast and crew had to improvise their way through the shooting in Spain, forcing Mattei to hilariously shoe-horn in various stock footage from the New Guinea, Island of Cannibals documentary.  Speaking of stock, the score by Goblin was merely cobbled together from the band's earlier work as the production could not afford a fresh soundtrack, yet because the Italian prog band was always reliable in this department, the music is still on point.  As far as the gore is concerned, it delivers with a series of disgusting gags ranging from the cannibalistic tribe sequences to rats pouring out of open wounds and Margit Evelyn Newton getting her eyeballs popped out through fists in her mouth.  The dialog is horrendous, the performances are comically over-the-top, the plot is moronic, the makeup is lousy, but all of this makes it a Euro-trash enthusiast's dream.

 

THE OTHER HELL

(1981)

Dir - Bruno Mattei/Claudio Fragasso

Overall: MEH

Made in conjunction with The True Story of the Nun of Monza, The Other Hell, (L'altro inferno), is the more explicitly horror-pandering of the Bruno Mattei's two largely unremarkable nunsploitation movies.  Mattei split directorial duties with Claudio Fragasso, each shooting scenes upstairs for one film while the other half did so downstairs on the other, in effect delivering two products for the price of one and both within a five week period.  When he was focusing on just a sole property at a time, both Mattei and Fragasso's work was still forgettable at worst and laugh out loud absurd at best.  Sadly, the latter cannot be said for what lousy and boring stuff is presented here.  The convoluted script involves Franca Stoppi chewing so much scenery that it is logical to assume that she got a substantial tummy-ache in the process.  There is also some nonsense about Satan impregnating her and the joys of sin or whatever, characters stand around and talk a lot, the Goblin soundtrack is somewhat memorable of course, people die, actors open their eyes really wide, one of them delivers the patented, Fragasso slow moan, (see Troll 2's "Oh my god!"), a baby gets thrown into a pot of boiling water in a kitchen, the credits roll, nobody cares.

 

RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR

(1986)

Overall: MEH

 

The largely plot-less and comatose-inducing Rats: Night of Terror, (Rats - Notte di terrore), is yet another unremarkable collaboration between director Bruno Mattei and screenwriter Claudio Fragasso to emerge in the 1980s.  Akin to a Night of the Living Dead accept with rodents, it has a group of either unlikable or uninteresting characters who spend most of the time arguing with each other or screaming at the twenty or so-odd rats that keep interrupting their slumber.  The post-apocalyptic angle gives it an edge over being a mere contemporary-set bit of nature horror, but despite providing everyone on screen with an excuse to hold-up in an abandoned town overnight, the fact that the story takes place two centuries after a nuclear fallout is rendered inconsequential.  Geretta Geretta shows up with an absurd amount of hair and is one of the few to make it until the end, but she is given little to do besides act scared and point a firearm once or twice.  She is also the only not-white actor on screen and is christened the not at all racist name of Chocolate because 1986 was a different time.  Despite the pathetic production values and laughable threat that the minimal amount of rats on screen convey, the recycled Once Upon a Time in America sets are well-used, the chest-bursting gore is a hoot, and the twist ending is effectively ridiculous.

 

ROBOWAR

(1988)

Overall: WOOF

Another moronic knock-off collaboration between director Bruno Mattei, screenwriters Claudio Fragasso and Rosella Drudi, and actor Reb "Big McLargehuge" Brown, Robowar, (Robot da guerra), answers the question that only Italians would have the answer to, namely "What would Predator be like if it was made for fifty bucks and also sucked?".  The story borrows as liberally from John McTiernan's masterpiece as possible without resulting in a lawsuit, recycling exact set pieces and the same premise of mercenaries venturing into the jungle who are not told the complete details of their mission, only to come face to face with a killing machine that watches them through a filtered camera effect.  Said killing machine is a wacky-talking robot instead of a dreadlocked alien, but any other variations to Predator begins and ends there.  The dialog is almost exclusively made up of profanity-ridden macho cliches, the tough guy commando squad opens fire with reckless abandon at the slightest gust of wind, plus Brown busts out his patented, pathetic yelp which just makes him being the Arnold Schwarzenegger leader of the group that much more embarrassingly unconvincing.  Still, the music is legitimately awesome and Brown yelling will never not be really, really hilarious.

 

SHOCKING DARK

(1989)

Overall: MEH

 

The Euro-trash dream team of director Bruno Mattei and screenwriter Claudio Fragasso knock-out another rip-off with Shocking Dark, (Terminator II, Terminator 2, Aliens 2, Alienators, Contaminator); a movie that is hysterical in its blatant plagiarism, D-rent production values, eyeball-rolling dialog, aggressive over-acting, and equally aggressive wooden acting.  As was the case in Mattei and Fragasso's "best" terrible work, any enjoyment to be found is of an accidental nature, but to be fare, the movie does have a craptacular charm to it.  Some of the slight story variations from James Cameron's Aliens plus a little bit of Terminator in the final act is ultimately unique if still absurd, plus Mattei actually manages to utilize his factory setting well enough under the circumstances, with copious amounts of steam, primitive effects work, and even some atmospheric lighting to break up the otherwise stagnant presentation.  Still, this is a clear-cut, minimal effort cash grab as only Italy could produce,  In this respect, it cannot help but to be compared to its A-list, major budgeted Hollywood predecessors that were made by people who actually gave a fuck and ergo did not turn out to be embarrassing trainwrecks that only deserve the scorn and laughter of any audience member.

1990s Italian Horror Part Three - (Claudio Fragasso Edition)

BEYOND DARKNESS

(1990)

Overall: MEH

 

The first of no less than three movies released in 1990 from Italian genre director Claudio Fragasso is the cheap, lazily derivative haunted house mess Beyond Darkness, (La Casa 5).  While things begin hokey if not altogether ridiculously with a creepy enough set up of a crazy woman wearing an embarrassingly obvious bald cap who is being led to the electric chair as she proclaims her love for the demon Ameth, it does not take too long for the screenplay to make its sole priority that of bulldozing itself through as many cliche-ridden set pieces as possible.  We are treated to a fog machine on overdrive, furniture moving by itself, a car that will not start, evil dimensions hiding behind walls, a priest whose faith is lost, a dramatic synth score throughout all but maybe five seconds of the running time, and of course an exorcism.  Having the feel that anything plot related was left on the cutting room floor to make room for nothing except arbitrary horror movie nonsense, it gets redundant pretty quick.  Individual, worthy to laugh at moments are a hoot, but that is about all it has to offer really.

 

NIGHT KILLER

(1990)

Dir - Claudio Fragasso/Bruno Mattei

Overall: WOOF

Fitting appropriately in the middle of Beyond Darkness and Troll 2 as far as "quality" goes, Claudio Fragasso's Night Killer, (No aprite quella porta 3), is worse than the former though of course not as monumentally terrible/unintentionally brilliant as the latter.  Easily deserving its own place in the bad movie hall of fame though, the plot is rather ingeniously stupid, revolving around a horny asshole in a zombie mask and pointy-nailed glove that can punch through people's stomachs, a woman who wants to kill herself, and another horny asshole who kidnaps her while eating Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Considering that comedically awkward performances and dialog that is too unnatural for even a six-year old to come up with both seem to go hand in hand with Fragasso's movies, one can logically lay the blame mostly at his feet.  That said, gore fans will delight in the fact that addition scenes were shot by director Bruno Mattei, additional scenes that add ridiculous violence while completely adhering to the nonsensical, Ed Wood-worthy, auteur aesthetic of everything else.  The point is, this is a winner!

 

TROLL 2

(1990)

Overall: WOOF

No discussion about the worst movies ever made can happen without Claudio Fragasso's unintentional masterpiece Troll 2 being brought up.  On the Mount Rushmore of "So bad its great" cinema and arguably the most deservedly memorable of such films in the horror camp, this completely unrelated "sequel" to the Charles Band produced Troll from 1986 does not just have all the hallmarks of laughably horrendous cinema; it has those hallmarks to the umpteenth degree.  As showcased in the equally essential Best Worst Movie documentary, Fragasso and his Italian speaking crew butted heads with the non-professional American cast throughout the production due to the language barrier.  This in turn helped produce a lightning in a bottle combination of oblivious people both behind of and in front of the screen working with no time, no money, and creating something that legitimately seems as if it came from another planet.  Everything from the Halloween masks, the fact that the monsters are goblins and not trolls, the largely non-photogenic cast shown in constant unflattering closeups, a script that seems like it was written by a five-month-old chimpanzee, intended humor that is so bizarre that it becomes unintentionally hilarious anyway, and performances, cinematography, and direction that should all be shown in film class to exemplify what should never be done, this is the ultimate crash course in laugh-out-loud, engaging awfulness.

1980s Lucio Fulci Part One

THE BLACK CAT
(1981)
Overall: MEH

Breaking up the more frenzied, nightmarish monotony of his "Gates of Hell Trilogy", Lucio Fulci made the very loose Edgar Allan Poe adaptation in name only The Black Cat, (Gatto nero), right in between his masterpiece The Beyond and The House by the Cemetery.  Comparatively more stripped down and simple in nature then, the story is not chock-full of just "Eh, fuck it let's just put a bunch of weird creepy crap in there", sans a few exceptions.  Instead, it genuinely follows a pretty comprehensible structure.  Unfortunately coming from a filmmaker like Fulci who usually excelled at arbitrary freakiness, (especially coming right after The Beyond), the movie's more pedestrian nature is not all that interesting.  It is not a total bore though either.  Patrick Magee in his penultimate film appearance does what he always does which is being a memorable, oddball, overacting creep.  While the main narrative of a killer cat is of course utterly ridiculous and not even remotely frightening, the subplot of Magee's bitter old supernatural medium playing recordings from beyond the grave is a bit chilling.  The feline-scratching gore is adequate for what it is, but again it pales in comparison to Fulci's usual crimson-splattered bread and butter.

MURDER ROCK
(1984)
Overall: MEH

Opening up with two hilariously dated, full dance sequences set to two different though equally horrible songs, Lucio Fulci's Murder Rock, (Murderock uccide a passo di danza, Murder-Rock: Dancing Death), is not off to that promising of a start.  Unless of course one enjoys the concept of Flashdance if it was a badly dubbed Italian slasher.  Technically a giallo then, this is a remarkably dull one despite or partly because of all the gyrating, leotard-clad dance numbers.  The mystery never picks up any serious momentum and when it side-steps to develop its characters more, things get pretty boring pretty quick.  Even the killer's inescapable quirk of poking women with needles is pretty lame, not that you get too many such scenes anyway.  Elsewhere, it is either stagnant or laughably melodramatic.  During one particularly absurd moment, a gruff detective interrogates a suspect with his lawyer standing right there, slaps the shit out of him, at which point the suspect says "She was a lousy Puerto Rican and I don't like spics!" followed by "You idiot!" and more roughing up, then chuckling from the detective.  It still ends up being little more than a collection of camera zooms, killers making threatening phone calls for no reason, red herrings, some naked boobs, and more of the usual stuff.  Just with more hot and bothered jitterbugging to shitty 80s music.

ZOMBI 3
(1988)
Dir - Lucio Fulci/Bruno Mattei
Overall: MEH

This mangled production that found Lucio Fulci quitting before filming was complete, (which in turn forced producer Claudio Fragasso to bring in second unit director Bruno Mattei to shoot additional scenes with different actors), serves as the "sure, I guess" official sequel to Fulci's own Zombi 2.  Further confusion exists from the fact that Zombi 2 was given the sequel moniker in the first place only to cash in on George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead and was in fact a stand-alone entry, plus the Zombi 3 title also belonged to a number of other movies in different markets before this one.  In any event, the finished product here is an unavoidable mess considering its troubled background.  Its first half is snore-inducing, there is unconvincing make-up effects, much ridiculous acting, and a steady lack of proper atmosphere since it is flatly shot in the sunny Philippines.  The structure is your typical one of military personnel trying to contain a zombie outbreak while arguing with scientists in lab coats.  Also, some of the zombies sprint while others cannot pick up their feet and of course some people turn into them after merely brushing up against one in a manner of seconds, while others take hours.  As a low-rent, shameless rip-off of way better movies, its got a few outrageously goofy moments, but for the most part it belongs on the do not recommend list.