Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Four

DEMON IN LACE

(1975)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

Taking the loose concept of a succubus, (basically only adhering to the idea that its form is that of a female), "Demon in Lace" boasts its fair share of recognizable guest stars, including Andrew Prine, Carolyn Jones, and Jackie Vernon.  Premise wise, a malevolent entity is connected to an unearthed Mesopotamian tablet, said entity taking the form of recently deceased women so that it can attract and then murder any men who fall under her spell.  As far as the internal INS drama is concerned, editor boss Tony Vincenzo is as fed up as always and toys with the idea of edging his newspaper to a more glass half full agenda, which of course clashes with Kolchak's knack for reporting on brutal deaths via supernatural means.  Not that his stories ever get printed to the public anyway.  Some of the death scenes are creepily staged, (with gnarly makeup appearing when the succubus reveals its true form), Keenan Wyn shows back up as Kolchak's law enforcement nemesis, and our title character gets a little help from an aspiring college reporter, providing him with a would-be sidekick that would have been a fun avenue to explore had the program lasted longer than a lone season.

 

LEGACY OF TERROR

(1975)

Dir - Don McDougall

Overall: GOOD

 

Two years before becoming a household name on CHiPs, Erik Estrada popped up in the Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode "Legacy of Terror" as the final victim, (and only willing one), as part of a ritualistic Aztec sacrifice that is performed every fifty-two years, all in purpose of prolonging the power of a mummified priest whose cult is still alive and well.  For its "monster of the week" formula, the show would frequently venture into the mythology of various cultures to cherry pick some supernatural opponents for Carl Kolchak to go up against, and this one fulfills the south of the border quota.  The death scenes are particularly aggressive here, with feathered cultists bursting at full speed upon their prey while one of them ominously plays the flute.  Often times the closing showdown for the program was a highlight and this is no exception, with Darren McGavin slowly creeping around an eerily quiet stadium until he manages to talk Estrada out of his fate, at which point the mummy itself starts swinging a machete until it and his followers mysteriously disappear of course.

 

THE KNIGHTLY MURDERS

(1975)

Dir - Vincent McEveety

Overall: MEH

 

An animated suit of armor can be creepy in the right context, and there is indeed a sequence in Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "The Knightly Murders" that ranks as a suspenseful one where our medieval-clad pursuer smashes through a bedroom and bathroom door Jack Torrance style after Darren McGavin faintly hears the clanging of its armor coming down the hallway.  Prolific character actor John Dehner's police captain is easily the most Kolchak friendly in the entire series, actually sitting down and theorizing with our hero instead of foaming at the mouth, smashing his camera, and threatening to throw him in a cell for asking silly questions that imply impossible otherworldly events.  Aside from that, the episode follows the usual pattern for better or worse, with some investigating on Kolchak's part that relies on conman antics, some playful and annoyed banter between he and Tony Vincenzo, and a climax where McGavin once again stands alone against the supernatural force at play, wielding a giant museum piece axe that seems to weigh more than he does.

 

THE YOUTH KILLER

(1975)

Dir - Don McDougall

Overall: GOOD

 

For the penultimate Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode "The Youth Killer", our title reporter who never changes his outfit in order for the production to save money on costuming, (presumably), uncovers a mystery where the ancient Greek goddess Hecate is living in a swanky area of Chicago of all places, also running a singles hookup site of all things.  It is all part of a scheme of course, one that involves giving new members a ring that they cannot take off, a ring that somehow grants Hecate the power to drain its wearer of youth, thus granting her a few more days to enjoy her human form sans heavy wrinkles under the eyes.  This vibrancy-draining premise allows for a few fun set pieces where people are exercising or on their way to a date, only to grow old and drop dead before our eyes.  Conveniently, Tony Vincenzo is all about getting healthy himself, happy to have lost five pounds that none of his newspaper staff notices.  Also dropping in is Kathleen Freeman who runs a separate dating operation, but the nifty premise and Kolchak trying to get one of the rings off his finger by way of mayonnaise from a cab driver who happens to be an expert on Greek mythology all makes this a cromulent note to almost go out on.

 

THE SENTRY

(1975)

Dir - Seymour Robbie

Overall: MEH

 

Kolchak: The Night Stalker goes full Doctor Who monster with its final episode "The Sentry".  Director Seymour Robbie and cinematographer Ronald W. Browne had the good sense to have the title creature smash most light sources when it aggressively bursts into rooms, thus making it possible to shoot the thing in relative darkness and with quick cuts in order to disguise how silly and unconvincing it looks.  Despite the fact that an upright reptilian may have been beyond the means of the small screen production, the rest of the program gets by with the usual motifs.  For the first time, a woman is in charge of the police force that Darren McGavin butts heads against, played by Kathie Brown as someone who admits to liking our reporter hero in need of a wardrobe change, but she eventually grows just as frustrated with him as all previous law enforcement officials were.  Tom Bosley pops up in a few scenes as a guest star, and Simon Oakland gets his prerequisite amount of comic relief moments, but the rest of the INS crew had long been left by the wayside at this point, including Jack Grinnage's Ron Updyke who had practically vanished from the program several installments earlier.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Three

HORROR IN THE HEIGHTS

(1974)

Dir - Michael T. Caffey

Overall: GOOD

 

A clever melding of a malevolent entity from Hindu folklore that finds itself in the middle of Chicago's Jewish district, (all of which draws attention to the often marginalized elderly who are stuck in less than agreeable neighborhoods due to their poor financial states), "Horror in the Heights" works better than even the most agreeable episodes in the program.  There are no official meetings between the press and the police to provide Carl Kolchak the chance to get on their nerves, but he still manages to annoy the foremost expert in Eastern legends, as well as his usual knack for driving his editor Tony Vincenzo up the wall with his inability to keep a low profile and follow assignments.  The demonic creature is a creepy one, probing the psyche of its victims and appearing as someone that they trust in order to get close and crush them with a bear hug.  We also get a history lesson on the swastika's non-Nazi origins and a humorous scene where Darren McGavin eats beef curry in an empty Indian restaurant while his Jewish waiter warns him that the abdominal pain should kick in at any moment.

 

MR. R.I.N.G.

(1975)

Dir - Gene Levitt

Overall: MEH

 

Some sci-fi is reintroduced in Kolchak: The Night Stalker for "Mr. R.I.N.G.", the second of three stories for the series that was authored by L. Ford Neale and John Huff.  This time our title character finds himself slowly uncovering a military project that produced a sentient android that escapes, steals a mask, and then also steals some mortuary makeup to crudely cover that mask in a misguided attempt to appear more human.  These themes of an artificial intelligence trying to integrate itself are not explored as much as the concept of just having it terrorize the Chicago suburbs, exhibiting superhuman strength when up against the police and anyone that gets in its way.  Thankfully Julie Adams gets an easy paycheck in two scenes as a bitter and alcohol-pickled widow to the scientist that serves as the title robot's first victim, though her character provides little to the story besides adding a few minutes to the running time.  Said android looks unsettling enough in its various forms, plus Darren McGavin and Simon Oakland have the usual quota of funny scenes together, but the premise is not one of the show's strongest.

 

PRIMAL SCREAM

(1975)

Dir - Robert Sheerer

Overall: MEH

 

One could accuse "Primal Scream" as an example of Kolchak: The Night Stalker scrapping the barrel, running out of traditional monsters to use and instead going with an ape-man the spawns from some recovered Arctic cell samples, because you gotta go with something.  The opening scene recalls Ken Russell's Altered States where the primordial savage bursts through a laboratory and runs amok, but in place of any trippy and/or frantic set pieces, the story instead settles into its usual algorithm of Darren McGavin sneaking around, annoying officials, and going up against the threat single-handedly until the frustrated police catch up to him.  In other words, it is a combination of a less than interesting premise fitted into the show's steadfast formula, making for a watch that is far from bad yet also not as memorable as other entries.  At least John Marley gets to the play the police chief this time who is up to here with Kolchak's mischief, and also M*A*S*H's Jamie Farr shows up as a character named Jack Burton, not be be confused with that of Kurt Russell's best role in Big Trouble in Little China.

 

THE TREVI COLLECTION

(1975)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

Organized crime, fashion industry politics, witchcraft, animated mannequins, and poltergeist activity all join forces in "The Trevi Collection", a Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode that gets by on its desperate combination of elements.  Dark Shadow's Lara Parker hams it up to eleven as a black magik practicing model with grand ambitions, turning in a performances that could be seen as ruining if not for the overall silly nature of the material.  In other words, it makes sense in this context to have Parker thrashing about wide-eyed while covered in blue paint and sores on a street while Kolchak publicly accuses her of witchcraft to a bewildered crowd in order to strip her of her power.  The police stay out of it more than usual as our title character follows leads on his lonesome and figures out what is happening, including why the mob is after him and why he has become a target of malevolent influence.  One of the show's campier installments, a goofy black mass and the aforementioned mannequins coming to life provide some fun set pieces as well.

 

CHOPPER

(1975)

Dir - Bruce Kessler

Overall: GOOD

 

A sword-wielding headless biker comes back from the grave in Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "Chopper"; another episode of the program with a silly premise that leans into its camp appeal.  Notable for a young Robert Zemeckis receiving story credit, several moments are played for laughs, particularly those that revolve around an over-acting Sharon Farrell who plays the widow of one of the biker's victims.  Farrell wails away at a funeral and when packing her bags to get the hell outta Dodge when the bodies start piling up, meanwhile Vincenzo deals with an ulcer, and a new hotheaded police captain is having even less of Kolchak's shit than most of them do.  There is little to distinguish this one from the lot of them as it follows the same path of Darren McGavin getting to the bottom of the unbelievable events by way of shrewd journalism tactics, usually either lying or schmoozing his way into restricted areas to interview who he needs to interview.  The killer motorcycle ghost looks ridiculous of course since there is no other way to pull it off on screen than to have an actor with an elongated torso, but there are enough amusing details in the script to keep it cruising along.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part Two

FIREFALL

(1974)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD

 

One of four Kolchak: The Night Stalker episodes to be removed from its original syndication run so that it could be combined with others to form two more television movies with new scenes and narration added to link them, (long story), "Firefall" thankfully stands on its own in its initial solo form.  Scripted by Bill S. Ballinger, the premise is void of most familiar trappings, concerning a ghost that tries to take over a famed conductor via becoming his doppelgänger, spontaneously and instantaneously being able to char people's bodies to death, and doing so whenever his victims get some shuteye ,which warrants Darren McGavin trying to stay awake for several days straight once he ends up on the baddie's hit list.  The supernatural rules are loosey-goosey at best, (one would-be doomed character is able to take a nap in a church while his ghostly pursuer just grins at him from the windows), but the guest and regular cast do their usual charming work, plus the horror bits are as well executed as ever.

 

THE DEVIL'S PLATFORM

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

Beating Richard Donner's The Omen to the whole "Raising through the ranks of political office via Satanic means" gag by two years, "The Devil's Platform" is a Kolchak: The Night Stalker stand-out for several reasons.  For one, the usual and occasionally tired practice of having Darren McGavin square-off against police detectives who are having none of his tomfoolery is finally given a break, though he and editor/boss Simon Oakland still have their moments of raising each other's blood pressures.  This is hardly an issue though since the two main player's chemistry with each other was always hilarious and goes back to the original two television movies that spawned the series.  Ruth McDevitt had appeared on the program as another character before, but this marks her first official appearance as INS's columnist, adding yet another fun addition to the small newspaper crew ensemble.  It is the concept of Tom Skerritt making a deal with the Devil though, (and turning into a ruthless rottweiler with a pentagram necklace on), that is the most memorable.  Strange, creepy, and playing into the era's goofy occult obsession, it has as much to offer as can be expected.

 

BAD MEDICINE

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall: GOOD

 

Not the most culturally sensitive of mid 70s television with 7'2", (and Caucasian), Richard Kiel portraying an evil Native American Diablero shaman spirit who is after rich old people's diamonds, "Bad Medicine" still ends up being another textbook solid installment of Kolchak: The Night Stalker.  Victor Jory also appears in redface, though he is only granted one scene to deliver the expository dialog necessary to cue Darren McGavin in on the specifics of how to defeat this week's evil doer.  Besides such common casting practices of the time, (as well as the fact that L. Ford Neale and John Huff utilize some stereotyped motifs to fuse quasi-Native folklore into a menace), the episode is loaded with interesting and atmospheric set pieces.  Kiel is able to transform into a coyote and a crow depending, and the title character's stand-off against him at the top of a forty foot building is a high point for the program, benefited from the suspenseful ambience that the show's closing moments often had, as well as some eerie chanting to make up for the fact that the Diablero is bested by silly means.

 

THE SPANISH MOSS MURDERS

(1974)

Dir - Gordon Hessler

Overall: GOOD

 

As far as monsters of the week go, Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "The Spanish Moss Murders" features one of the program's more unique, a Cajun boogieman that springs to life once a guy undergoes a six week-long sleep experiment where he is not allowed to dream.  This Père Malfait creature, (roughly translated to "father of mischief"), is poorly realized, looking like nothing more than a tall actor in some blankets with moss haphazardly thrown around it.  The thing, (or actor portraying the thing), also grunts around in an unintentionally silly manner, but as was the show's M.O., the scary bits are played straight with plenty of bodies pilled up to keep the stakes high.  Keenan Wynn makes his first of only two appearances as this week's law enforcement official who Kolchak pushes to a breaking point, which is a shame since he is the most amusing of the lot, working on centering his zen in group therapy only for Darren McGavin to undue all of his noble efforts with his overstepping, aggressive questioning, and wildly accurate supernatural accusations.

 

THE ENERGY EATER

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall: MEH

 

Tweaking that ole motif of a haunted house being built on an ancient Indian burial ground, "The Energy Eater" instead has a hospital being built on a place where a fictional Native American bear god called Matchemonedo has slumbered for centuries.  Of course now is the time for said entity to arise and drain the facility of power in order to reclaim its former glory, remaining invisible, (aside from some x-rays which miraculously produce a close up of one of it's eyes), as it destroys the building's foundation and leaves a train of bodies in its wake.  To help our determined title character crack the case, William Smith appears as an indigenous construction foreman who is about as Native American as Queen Elizabeth, but such white-washing aside, his character provides that rarest of moments where Kolchak is able to go up to the people in charge with a willing witness at his side who backs all the supernatural bologna that he claims.  In fact several characters accept the otherworldly scenario here, differentiating this from the usual shtick of Darren McGavin having no allies on his lone quest.  It is not as atmospheric or fetching as other episodes of the program, (and it has an anticlimactic ending), but it is still far from a waste.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker - Part One

THE RIPPER

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

The first installment "The Ripper" in Kolckak: The Night Stalker, (simply dubbed The Night Stalker for the opening four episodes), is an enjoyable romp, but it is also a carbon copy of the initial film from 1972.  Instead of facing up against a vampire who murders women at night and is seemingly indestructible in the face of police fire power, the culprit here is seemingly Jack the Ripper himself.  Carl Kolchak annoys both his editor Tony Vincenzo and the cops by taking photos at the scenes, drilling them with questions, and presenting evidence that what they are up against is an immortal fiend, getting his story squashed by the authorities in the end after confronting the bad guy in his own home in an eerie, suspenseful set piece.  The lack of differentiating qualities between this and the two television films that proceeded it, (and proved successful enough to warrant the series being greenlit in the first place), is the only thing that makes it a subpar watch.  For those who do not mind and crave a shot for shot remake of The Night Stalker though, this delivers exactly that.

 

THE ZOMBIE

(1974)

Dir - Alex Grasshoff

Overall:GOOD

 

Supporting players Carol Ann Susi and John Fielder are introduced in "The Zombie"; Kolchak: The Night Stalker's sophomore episode.  Susi is the schlubby niece of one of the newspaper's bigwigs who has aspirations of becoming a reporter despite Kolchak's knack for dismissing and ditching her in the field, while Fielder plays the soft-spoken coroner who divvies out sensitive information on the recently deceased when you throw him some twenty dollar bills.  The structure is still adhered to where our raffia hat-wearing title character irks authorities with his factually correct deductions about the supernatural tomfoolery that is afoot, tracking down a voodoo practitioner who has resurrected the body of her grandson in order to hunt down the undesirables that contributed to his murder.  Mobsters also get involved, (which means that Joseph Sirola and Antonio Fargas get to show up), and even Scatman Crothers gets a scene while utilizing a Haitian accent.  Not one of the most atmospheric installments on the program, but Darren McGavin's charisma still effortlessly wins through.

 

THEY HAVE BEEN, THEY ARE, THEY WILL BE...

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: MEH

 

Soldiering on with the monster of the week framework that the show helped popularize, Kolchak: The Night Stalker's "They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be..." actually does not feature any monsters in the traditional sense.  Instead, it finds a roundabout way to use extraterrestrials, invisible ones at that who suck the bone marrow out of animals at the zoo, are drawn to electrical devices, are able to make walls explode soundlessly, are also able to make tons of lead ingots disappear, and are somehow distracted by intense lights when the plot needs them to be.  The details are wacky and do not add up in any plausible sense, but the story has the usual strengths and weaknesses for the program.  As the head police officer who refuses to believe anything that our title character says even when he witnesses it with his own eyes, James Gregory seems drunk in most of his scenes, slurring his dialog more than usual.  Len Lesser and Dick Van Patten are also on board as supporting players, and Kolchak comes to his conclusions in as compact a manner as possible.  Unfortunately the story is not as interesting as others, plus the ending is anticlimactic.

 

THE VAMPIRE

(1974)

Dir - Don Weis

Overall: GOOD 

 

In the apply titled "The Vampire", Carl Kolchak goes up against the undead only two years after he did so in the initial The Night Stalker TV movie, the tweak being that the blood-sucker here is a woman instead of Barry Atwater's super-powered immortal.  Our delightful tittle character is as oblivious as ever as to how insane he sounds when pleading his case to disinterested and furious law enforcement officials, (William Daniels guesting as the irked lieutenant for this round), going on and on about how strong vampires are and the means by which they need to be defeated.  Though she has little if any dialog, Suzanne Charny still manages to chew the scenery as the vamp baddie, mugging with fangs in tow as she hurls herself at her victims, wrestling them to the ground, and making wild animal noises.  The location is switched from Chicago to Los Angeles, (though the program was set in the former, it was almost entirely shot in the latter), but it is still the identical formula at play once again.  It fails to compete with the aforementioned 1972 film that had only a slight variation of the same plot, but the side angle of Kolchak trying to hoodwink Vincenzo over the phone with an electric shaver and a real estate agent typing up his faux articles for him is a hoot.

 

THE WEREWOLF

(1974)

Dir - Allen Baron

Overall: GOOD

 

Airing a month after an episode where a vampire made goofy noises while lunging at people, "The Werewolf" has a werewolf making goofy noises while lunging at people.  Set on a luxury cruise ship where swinging singles get to co-mingle with each other, our trusted narrator and title character is sent there instead of his boss Tony Vincenzo who was originally planning a vacation yet gets stuck in the Windy City during a blistering winter for auditing purposes.  David Chase and Paul Playdon's plot still manages to throw in an authority figure for Kolchak to endlessly annoy, the ship's no nonsense captain in this case being portrayed by character actor Henry Jones.  Though the show had yet to shake its cut-and-paste structure, and the title lycanthrope does not have the most convincing makeup job applied to him, the new scenery is appreciated, plus there are some intense set pieces scattered about.  As usual, the supporting cast have their own charisma to go against Darren McGavin, save for Eric Braeden who turns in a fitting if downer performances as the ill-tempered man who goes full beast when the full moon rises.  Why he chose to hop on a yacht full of people to attack while simultaneously trying to cure himself is never explained.