2017 Horror Part Twenty

LITTLE EVIL

Dir - Eli Craig

Overall: MEH

 

The sophomore full-length Little Evil from filmmaker Eli Craig is an occasionally annoying/occasionally amusing nyuck nyuck take on Richard Donner's seminal The Omen, a horror movie that has been mined countless times in the forty-plus years since it came out.  As is the case with many modern day comedies, the problems stem from the overt goofiness in the face of harrowing circumstances, namely how certain characters cannot stop being obnoxiously goofy dipshits no matter how many otherworldly and/or dangerous events are unfolding right in front of them.  Such things are inherently tricky to navigate, but the end of days scenario done in an R-rated cutesy parody context never goes completely absurd, detouring into emotionally resonate moments that are endlessly undercut with things like Bridget Everett being Bridget Everett, Adam Scott being Adam Scott, and Evangeline Lilly being a cluelessly devout mother to a fault.  At the same time, any of the movie's issues are there deliberately, so it is a matter of locking into Craig and his cast's shtick-above-plausibility trajectory.  If one can do that, there are some chuckles to be had, plus the third act plot twist is a refreshing one that leads things to a picturesque ending which in and of itself is taking the piss out of how these Antichrist joints usually go.

 

RADIUS

Dir - Caroline Labrèche/Steeve Léonard

Overall: MEH

 

With a Twilight Zone-worthy premise stretched out to ninety minutes, the second collaborative effort Radius from the French-Canadian filmmaking duo of Caroline Labrèche and Steeve Léonard overstays its welcome due to a relentlessly dour tone and an off-putting structure that bounces between flashbacks and the concurrent timeline.  Things are downtrodden from the beginning and only get worse when Diego Klattenhoff finds himself wandering around a rural landscape with a severe memory gap after an accident, people and animals dropping dead whenever he gets close to them.  It is an intriguing premise that only deepens once the also amnesiac Charlotte Sullivan steps into the mix, her physical presence being the only thing that can stop the bodies from piling up so long as they stay within a fifty foot radius of each other, hence the title.  Tidbits of insight are gathered during the aforementioned and frequent flashback scenes that Sullivan and Klattenhoff suffer through, hitting both them and the audience abruptly.  These moments are likely deliberate in how distracting they are, and it takes until nearly the end of course before enough pieces are put together for everyone to realize just how harrowing these character's situation actually is.  A diluted color palette and unwavering lack of humor further exemplify the bleak trajectory, but the end result is more meandering and miserable than thought-provoking.

 

#FROMJENNIFER

Dir - Frank Merle

Overall: GOOD

 

While it gets a lot right and has a feminist revenge nucleus that will delight many, #FromJennifer suffers from some plausibility malfunctions and an underwritten protagonist.  Writer/director Frank Merle exemplifies the double standard surrounding the overall free reign that men have compared to women, particularly where revenge porn is concerned which taps into the age old cultural stereotypes where dudes are high-fived for doing whatever they want to the ladies while the former are ostracized and humiliated.  Enter Danielle Taddei's title character who has been called "Jenny" and hit brick walls in her industry far too many times even before her ex boyfriend uploads a sex tape of her, prompting a hilariously elaborate scheme that requires the hiring of the towering character actor Derek Mears who turns in the film's finest performances as an awkward, clumsy, and dim-witted accomplice with a heart of gold.  Things are designed so that every viewer will be on the side of Taddei and her master plan since Merle paints every other male on screen besides Mears as a douchebag stereotype.  He even manages to make Taddei's perky and intentionally artificial influencer friend Meghan Deanna Smith seem like a hapless pawn, proving no doubt that the agenda here is to single out the guys as the problem, at least when they adhere to the unfair set of principals that reward their recklessly chauvinistic actions.  At the same time though, Merle's script shows a flippant attitude towards murder that is not tonally in line the rest of the humor.  The movie is ridiculous, but the edited found footage journal framework makes it seem like it should be taken more seriously, causing everyone on screen to not come off as real people.  This dilutes the subject matter to a point, but the agenda is so commendable and the tongue so firmly enough in cheek that its imperfect nature is forgivable.

The Bad Ben Series - Part One

BAD BEN
(2016)
Dir - Tom Fanslou
Overall: GOOD

 
The first in a to-date fourteen deep movie franchise, (plus a short film and a video game), the initial Bad Ben is a hilarious and creepy work in found footage that acts as both a parody of and a legitimate installment in the sub-genre.  Tom Fanslau, (under the pen and screen name of Nigel Bach), shopped his concept around to potential producers with no bites and ergo decided to make it himself, shooting the entire project for only $300 in his own home.  Equipped with a cell phone, security cameras, and a couple of convincing effect shots, the DIY results are commendable in and of themselves.  Thankfully though, Bach's efforts are engrossing besides their practicality.  As the only fellow on screen, he has a shlubby charisma ala Brian Posehn while he endlessly talks to himself, poking fun at the "Why do I feel the need to document my whole life?" trope in such movies.  The subtle yet undeniable comedic angle allows for his character's behavior to be questionable in one sense, but his stubborn and humorous determination to not be driven out of his newly purchased home by unfriendly entities gives the plot just enough plausibility to work.  Best of all though, the simple and familiar set up does not get in the way of some hair-raising spookiness.

 

STEELMANVILLE ROAD

(2017)

Dir - Tom Fanslou

Overall: WOOF

 

While Nigel Bach aka Tom Fanslou is a likeable bloke and his initial Bad Ben film was one of the best micro-micro-budgeted found footage movies perhaps ever made, its follow-up Steelmanville Road, (Bad Ben: Steelmanville Road), is an almost exclusively embarrassing work.  A prequel that leads right up until when the first installment begins, it has a promising opening where a newlywed couple moves into the series' haunted abode to experience a few subtle paranormal episodes, some of which the cameras catches yet the characters do not.  Right from the get-go though, we are given some flimsy reasons for the events to be filmed in the first place, and this becomes more sloppily handled throughout, including close-ups and wide-shots being edited together from the same wall-mounted security cameras.  Yet this is only one of many blunders, since Fanslou regrettably chooses to show physical manifestations of ghosts this time in the form of a backwards talking kid in heavy eye-shadow who looks like he is right out of a nine year-old's YouTube video.  The story is a laughable cliche-fest, made much worse by atrocious acting and a need for Fanslou to explain almost every ambiguously creepy detail from the first movie.  Instead of making for some engrossing mythology, this only messes up what was already a spooky scenario.  In other words, it "fixed" something that was not broken, falling down the stairs in the process.

BADDER BEN

(2017)

Dir - Tom Fanslou

Overall: MEH

 

Three entries in and Tom Fanslou made the wise choice to lean into the more comedic angle that he displayed in his first Bad Ben installment, with Badder Ben, (Badder Ben: The Final Chapter), being more intentionally ridiculous than its awful predecessor Steelmanville Road.  It is still a mixed bag though.  This time we meet some chipper paranormal investigators who have seen the first two movies and decide to find out what all the hullabaloo is about, bringing along Fanslou for the ride who is back to do battle unwillingly against the force or forces that have taken over his would-be flipped home.  The unsettling scare tactics are jettisoned for more of a lampoon-heavy approach where no one on screen seems to be taking things seriously, with many laugh-out-loud results along the way.  Each of the four characters, (particularly Fanslou's who has an understandably hilarious chip on his shoulder now), provide some knowingly goofy moments, plus the franchise's lore becomes officially convoluted, which is appropriate in this more lighthearted context .  Everyone also behaves like an idiot at regular intervals, the plotting is flimsy, and there are some abysmal digital effects that are not played for chuckles, but it is still an enjoyable entry that is introduced as being "for the fans" so in that respect, it is difficult to hate.

The Blackwell Ghost Series Part One

THE BLACKWELL GHOST

(2017)

Dir - Turner Clay

Overall: MEH

 

The first in the mockumentary series The Blackwell Ghost sets up the framework that would be adhered to from here on out, introducing us to our frustrated indie filmmaker who decides to take a break from making low-budget zombie movies and instead becomes a paranormal documentarian.  Writer/director/everythinger Turner Clay is just such a filmmaker, and he has a smug yet acceptable level of charm as the guy who we are primarily stuck with throughout the proceedings, narrating his escapades into a Pennsylvania property that experiences unexplained things like lights turning on, footsteps going up the stairs, a blurry white shape floating past the camera, and, (in the "thrilling" finale), water faucets running and a toy ball showing up somewhere creepy.  The problem with a movie like this is not so much in its execution which is presented as any documentary would be, (conventional editing, some scary musical ambiance, etc), but in the material itself.  Simply put, nothing that happens here is remotely frightening.  Since ghosts are not real, a film examining such a phenomenon in a manner that would fool dummies into thinking that this was not all smoke and mirrors, (i.e. actually being "found footage"), faces an uphill battle to begin with.  In this case, it only generates mediocre results.

THE BLACKWELL GHOST 2

(2018)

Dir - Turner Clay

Overall: MEH

The plot only thickens by an incremental margin in Turner Clay's The Blackwell Ghost 2; an apply titled follow-up to his previous year's The Blackwell Ghost that features Clay visiting the same house with the same outcome.  As far as deepening the lore of the title spectre, this is gotten out of the way in the first half when he uncovers some clues that give him an excuse to venture back to the haunted abode, but all of these narrative tidbits prove inconsequential, coming off more like fail-safes to be elaborated on in future installments.  Clay rides solo more here since his wife only makes a small appearance, the owner of the Pennsylvanian home is nowhere to be seen, and a distant sort-of relative of the sinister Ruth Blackwell is mentioned yet only shown in photographs.  This is agreeable considering that we are talking about a micro-budgeted found footage movie, and the less speaking parts that you have, the cheaper the end result will be to produce.  The bump-in-the-night stuff gets underway eventually and is yet another series of doors, chairs, and electronic appliances doing things via invisible influence, and they are once again more scary in theory than in execution.  Even with its tacked-on coda that extends the movie to a longer length than is necessary, (plus some footage of Clay's own Racoon Valley feature that was released the same year), it is still an adequately and cheaply made bit of would-be spookiness for those that are looking to kill an evening.

THE BLACKWELL GHOST 3

(2019)

Dir - Turner Clay

Overall: MEH

 

Switching gears narrativly, Turner Clay's The Blackwell Ghost 3 in fact only briefly touches upon such an otherworldly entity, instead introducing a new paranormal mystery about a haunted Florida vacation house where a serial killer once murdered eighteen women there decades earlier.  The story has more of a true crime angle to it than the one explored in the first two installments, and it is more interesting by comparison.  Still, the plot barely moves as the bulk of the running time is spent watching Turner Clay say the same things and do the same things that we have already seen him do before.  Granted there is a method to such ghost hunter's shtick, even ones that are unconventional as Clay jokingly points out by getting drunk on the job, smirking his way through his anxiety-ridden narration, and half-assing his approach to uncovering a mystery by simply waiting long enough for stuff to happen.  Some of this is amusing, but Clay loses us with a monotonous structure where a phone ringing at 2:47 AM that has no one saying anything on the other line, (of course), and banging noises coming from the backdoor that no one is ever at, (also of course), are the extent of the spooky bits.  Things end on a cliff-hanger to be picked up in the following year's inevitable sequel, but this particular detour would have been better suited in a condensed form instead of stretched out as long as it is.

THE BLACKWELL GHOST 4

(2020)

Dir - Turner Clay

Overall: MEH

Another mixed bag effort from indie filmmaker Turner Clay, The Blackwell Ghost 4 picks up right where the previous year's installment left off and even ends with another "to be continued..." tag, signifying that the current mystery that has nothing to do with the mystery of the title has yet to be wrapped up.  A difference right out of the gate is how increasingly cinematic the franchise is getting, presumably due to the series turning enough of a profit to get more fancy with its presentation.  Shots and editing maneuvers that have nothing to do with found footage are given noticeable mileage here, and Clay throws more scary music into the proceedings than ever before, which is always shame as it destroys verisimilitude when we are watching the spooky stuff caught on camera.  As far as said moments go, they are relentless and monotonous instead of frightening, even if Clay's portrayal sufficiently conveys a man who is struggling with his own questionable life choices and frustrations in not being able to help the spirits that he is justifying such a project on.  This segment works better as an examination into the psyche of its host than it does as a proper spookshow, but the mystery itself is gradually picking up steam and would make for a compelling true crime documentary if any of it was real.  This is far from a flaw, in fact it is the opposite since it means that the story is hitting the right level of intrigue while the supernatural elements are unfortunately grinding things down.

2017 Horror Part Nineteen

THE LODGERS

Dir - Brian O'Malley

Overall: MEH

 

Bog-standard Gothic horror from Irish filmmaker Brian O'Malley, The Lodgers blatantly conjures the spirit of Edgar Allan Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher, but its genre pandering is as uninspired as its dialog is vapid.  Set in 1920 right smack in the middle of the Irish War of Independence, we have an unwelcome soldier returned home with a missing appendage, some asshole townsfolk, David Bradley doing his usual crotchety shtick, and two Debbie Downer siblings who are right out of Poe's aforementioned short story.  They speak in annoying, juvenile riddles about how they are doomed and how the ghosts of their ancestors own the night and will not let them leave, but the whole ordeal never picks up momentum.  When it comes to the supernatural rules, screenwriter David Turpin has concocted a few interesting ideas to spice up the stock narrative, but the backstory is flimsy and the whole thing has a perpetually gloomy atmosphere for its miserable characters to wallow in.  This is likely intentional to maintain tone, but the film offers zero scares and merely long-winded moments of thinly-drawn characters simply going about their redundant business until we get a nifty underwater spook show finale that comes too little, too late.

 

DOUBLE DATE

Dir - Benjamin Barfoot

Overall: MEH

 

The full-length debut from director Benjamin Barfoot and actor/screenwriter Danny Morgan, Double Date relishes in violent and awkward set pieces, and though it may not deliver any laugh-out-loud gags, it stays in its lane as far as horror comedies go.  Morgan plays the lead character; a pudgy, shy, red-headed adult virgin who is the type of bumbling buffoon in front of women that only exist in the movies.  His best friend is a douche-bro "ladies man", and eventually they meet up with two sultry sisters in a scenario that is of course too good to be true because murder and occult ritual things happen.  This is not a spoiler since the opening scene spells out exactly what the two "maneater" siblings are both up to and capable of, so the entirely of the first and second acts is then just waiting for our lovable and schulbby protagonist to find his way into their clutches.  In the meantime, many attempts at chuckles are made and none of them land, particularly due to the predictability of the plot, as well as the hackneyed way in which the characters are portrayed.  It never becomes clever enough to successfully make fun of the movies that it is blatantly recalling, (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Lesbian Vampire Killers, etc), but Morgan and co-star/love interest Georgia Groome have moments of adorable likeability together so it at least suffices as a dopey rom-com, be it one with gratuitous gore and ritual resurrection.

THE MONSTER PROJECT

Dir - Victor Mathieu

Overall: WOOF

 

A horrendous found footage excursion whose sole purpose seems to be in adhering to as many hack cliches as possible within its ninety-eight minute running time, The Monster Project is the type of contemporary horror movie that should be illegal to make.  It would be exhausting to list every groan-worthy and predictable beat that it pummels the audience with, but the most frequent and egregious are a small crop of awful, awful characters, (including the sassy comic relief black guy, good lord), cartoon CGI monster faces, scary music utilized in a found footage framework, a spastic and of course unsuccessful exorcism, and all of the jump scares, just...all of them.  This is a frame one to frame last trainwreck; loud and in your face with each act serving up more insulting nonsense that eventually compound on each other.  If anyone watching is immediately turned off by how not funny or interesting anyone on screen is with their juvenile backstories in tow, rest assured, once the monsters that are promised in the title show up, it gets much worse.  Whether it is a smirking tattooed vampire babe, a Native American skinwalker with a distorted voice, a skittish woman with a demon inside of her, said demon possessing another woman so she can scream at the camera, and even a guy in a fucking goat mask, it is all equally moronic and pathetic in how little anyone is trying here to do anything even remotely unique with such tired ingredients.

2017 Horror Part Eighteen

DIANE

Dir - Michael Mongillo

Overall: MEH

 

An indie psychological thriller with some ghostly activity thrown in, Diane has more ambition than it does the budgetary means to achieve that ambition.  The movie hinges on Jason Alan Smith's performance; an actor that is probably too good looking to make a convincing recluse of an army veteran, (think your average CW heartthrob except with no social life, no love life, and just a five o'clock shadow and a vague limp to make him somehow less fetching).  That said, he does a fine job with the material that pits him against his own tormented psyche that is reeling after a lovely lounge singer is found dead in his backyard.  Filmmaker Michael Mongillo goes for a combination of bog-standard supernatural flourishes, a soundtrack that has Carlee Avers singing what sounds like a smooth jazz standard as well as some indie folk tunes, and some trippy hallucinations.  Sometimes the style forgives the meager budget, but other times it is jarring and wears its amateurish constraints on its sleeves.  The dialog is also a mixed bag of clever and unconvincing, plus the whole thing comes off more like an mid-range television episode than a memorable work of an auteur, but this is hardly a detrimental thing.

KILLING GOD

Dir - Caye Casas/Albert Pintó

Overall: MEH

For their first collaboration together in the apply-titled Killing God, (Matar a Dios), filmmakers Caye Casas and Albert Pintó take on some heady themes in the guise of an abrupt apocalyptic scenario where a family full of schlubs come face to face with their creator.  The situation is both ridiculous and funny enough, bringing into question just how logical it is for the human race to carry on existing when it is made up of such flawed individuals.  It is a wise move then that writer/directors Pintó and Casas make their small crop of characters relatable.  Two are in a long and loveless marriage that has hit a stalemate due to one being a sexist curmudgeon and the other succumbing to another man's sexual advances, one is recklessly living it up in his elder years, and the other is a suicidal cuckold whose own marriage has fallen apart.  None of these people are fully likeable, but none of them are fully unlikable either as they merely represent various human foibles that any of us on any given bad day can fall victim to.  Emilio Gavira's portrayal as the all powerful foul-mouthed, dwarf-sized, and wine-chugging creator is a hoot, but everyone gives solid performances to the point where the impossibility of their situation becomes emotionally palpable.  On that note though, the film writes itself into an ending that is bound to disappoint on some level and the structure is too repetitive to stay on track.

 

THE NIGHT WATCHMEN

(2017)

Dir - Mitchell Altieri

Overall: WOOF

Lazy, obnoxious, and worst of all not funny, The Night Watchmen comes from Mitchell Altieri, (half of the Butcher Brothers filmmaking team), though he works from a script by Ken Arnold, Dan De Luca, and Jamie Nash, all three of whom fuck up the idiot-proof premise of killer vampire clown zombies run amok at a newspaper office.  Both Arnold and De Luca also appear on screen, and they at least seem to be enjoying themselves, but such enthusiasm does not translate to the audience unless one is incessantly forgiving of "jokes" that seem like they were the result of a rushed first draft writing session done seconds before shooting started.  The characters are wise-cracking idiots who all have arbitrary quirks no matter how much horrific bloodshed is happening all around them, and combined with something as hackneyed as creepy clowns, screaming monster faces, and gratuitous gore, it fails as an inventive genre hybrid from top to bottom.  In one of many horrendously painful scenes, our heroes want to prove that a guy is not a member of the undead, so they make him dance, he does an embarrassing sexy one, they insist he does another, that one is also not convincing enough, then the token black guy starts beat-boxing and the dancing guy gets killed anyway and farts postmortem, as do other dead bodies along the way.  Every horror comedy does not have to be wheel-inventing high-brow art but for fuck's sake, can we try a little harder than this?

2017 Horror Part Seventeen

HOUSE OF THE DISAPPEARED

Dir - Lim Dae-woong

Overall: MEH

 

A South Korean remake of Alejandro Hidalgo's The House at the End of Time, House of the Disappeared, (Siganwiui Jib), sticks close to its predecessor without adding anything of significant interest, ergo making it a redundant if still adequate watch.  The first work in supernatural horror from a top-billed Yunjin Kim, she looks more silly than convincing in an old lady wig for much of the proceedings, yet she also still turns in an impressive performance as a wrongly convicted mother who is under haunted house arrest after serving twenty-five years of a brutal prison sentence.  Jang Jae-hyun adds some unnecessary backstory into the location of the title and a more pseudo-science/metaphysical angle that is less captivating than the ambiguous and otherworldly route taken in Hidalgo's original.  Besides shutting up for the obligatory and annoying jump scare, Kim Woo-geun's swelling music plays uninterrupted, which further manipulates the viewer in what is already a harrowing story of grief and lost chances.  Its heart-string pulling is appreciated, but the sterile presentation and plot adherence to its superior predecessor makes it too forgettable to recommend.

MARROWBONE

Dir - Sergio G. Sánchez

Overall: MEH

 

Though it boats a top-tier young cast and has Universal backing it up on the distribution end, writer/director Sergio G. Sánchez' Marrowbone, (El secreto de Marrowbone), ends up being an unintentionally doofy thriller with a moronic plot twist in its finale act.  Shot almost entirely in a spacious country mansion in Asturias, Spain, it pits a family of traumatized outcasts against what is presumed to be supernatural forces, yet the few bump in the night moments that we witness are more aloof than nightmarish.  This angle is regularly bypassed anyway for a thinly constructed love triangle, before the most hackneyed psychological rug pull, (plus another just as stupid one), is delivered in a flashback exposition dump, one that throws logic to the wind and takes the audience out of the proceedings during what should be a heart-racing finale.  Such laughable revelations jive poorly with the already established, gritty tone, as well as some intense performances from all involved.  George MacKay and genre regulars Mia Goth, Charlie Heaton, and Anya Taylor-Joy all deserve better material that what they are given here, which is a shame since Sánchez has a solid knack for pacing and style that would be better suited in something with more plausible footing.

PHOENIX FORGOTTEN

Dir - Justin Barber

Overall: MEH

One of a small handful of horror films to utilize, (as its jumping off point), the now explained "Phoenix Lights" phenomenon that occurred over Arizona and Nevada on March 13, 1997, Phoenix Forgotten does not pack in any surprises, but it delivers a satisfying finale within its formulaic framework.  Broken up into two sections, the first and much longer one is a mockumentary that Florence Hartigan decides to make in uncovering the mystery of what happened to her brother and his two UFO-hunting friends twenty years earlier.  We get some backstory on our small crop of characters in the process, all of which is presented conventionally with talking head interviews, screen titles, music, and other standard ingredients that actual documentaries are inclined to have.  We know from the onset what happened to the missing kids and we also know that we are eventually going to be shown the "lost" footage which will explain such a fate, but it is to director Justin Barber and screenwriter T.S. Nowlin's, (of the Maze Runner franchise fame), credit that this reveal still remains compelling when it finally arrives.  It recalls too many other found footage movies to carve out its own unique niche amongst the saturated sub-genre, but fans of such movies still may enjoy where it ends up.

2017 Horror Part Sixteen

SCAREYCROWS

Dir - Lucy Townsend

Overall: MEH

A low-budget indie romp with a unique premise, actor-turned-director Lucy Townsend's full-length debut Scareycrows is far from being laugh-out-loud hilarious, but it is not without some charm.  Not to be confused with 2017's other killer scarecrows horror/comedy from Canada, this one centers around a made-up holiday celebrated by a seaside town and a now comatose asshole stuck in a wheelchair who utilizes supernatural means to reap her vindictive vengeance.  It plays out like a Shaun of the Dead/The Fog hybrid, with a combination of likeable and annoying characters, thankfully killing off the later in typical slasher movie fashion.  One of them is an unnecessarily bitchy salon owner, another a dipshit who constantly sings at the top of his lungs, and another just a condescending friend who refuses to take the diabolical threat as seriously as it deserves.  So, watching them all get violently stabbed by something is a deliberate hoot.  Likely due to budgetary reasons, the film is consistently lacking in atmosphere and Townsend keeps the gore and profanity at merely modest levels while utilizing no inventive camera tricks or stylistic flourishes  Still, she also keeps the pace brisk at only seventy-three minutes, which never gets tedious enough to outstay its welcome.

INNOCENT CURSE

Dir - Takashi Shimizu

Overall: MEH

Takashi Shimizu's Pied Piper legend retelling Innocent Curse, (Kodomo tsukai, Little Nightmares), suffers from a bloated running time and formulaic mannerisms, rendering it about as frightening as a pair of pink socks.  Fusing creepy dolls, unsettling circuses, child abuse, a curse that gets you after three days, kids singing a lullaby several hundred times, and a cartoonish, supernatural villain who looks like a cross between Cradle of Filth band member and steampunk ringleader, it has a lot of showy tropes on display that cross over into silliness.  Shimizu utilizes a soft purple color tint for the flashback/otherworldly sequences while rendering the modern day moments in green, which gives the whole thing an off-kilter feel that is no doubt intentional and stylized.  At nearly two hours in length, the rudimentary "race against time" plot meanders more than it propels, occasionally breaking its own mystical rules in the process and offering up a barrage of stale visuals such as little ones with white eyes who are simply standing there or tickling adults to death, zombied-out grown-ups caught in vengeance limbo, quirky camera angles, incessant "scary" music, and Hideaki Takizawa camping it up as the big, flamboyant baddie.  It plays itself seriously and its uncomfortable treatment of children jives awkwardly with the schlock elements, but it is a slick production that may please forgiving popcorn J-horror fans.

THE PROMISE

Dir - Sophon Sakdaphisit

Overall: MEH

Overlong and relentlessly hackneyed in all of its horror elements, Sophon Sakdaphisit's The Promise, (Puen..Tee Raluek, Phuean..Thi Raluek), delivers some heavy, supernatural heart string-pulling but is otherwise a slog.  It opens during the 1997 Asian financial crisis where two best friends, (possibly in a lesbian relationship which is not explicitly stated), make a suicide pact after their families go bankrupt and the physical abuse and emotional strain proves too much for them to bare.  This is more effective than the nearly ninety minutes that follow in the present day where the bestie that backed out of the killing-themselves-deal now has an upset ghost inhabiting her daughter's body to contend with.  This is because Sakdaphisit utilizes a never-ending slew of screechy violin noises literally every single time that something "scary" happens as the story goes through one day at a time leading up to a not surprising finale that seems more of a relief than anything else.  The dread never lets up and there is no room for any humor as Namthip Jongrachatawiboon's protagonist cries, screams, and cries a whole lot more during her harrowing ordeal.  Even with a quasi-syrupy ending, it is not a feelgood watch by design, plus genre fans will likely be disappointed by its lack of uniqueness.

2017 Horror Part Fifteen

RIFT

Dir - Erlingur Thoroddsen

Overall: GOOD

 

Though its supernatural components may be too murky and ill-defined for some tastes, Erlingur Thoroddsen's sophomore full-length Rift, (Sumrak), excels as a heartfelt breakup film.  Björn Stefánsson, (who looks like a cross between Richard Marx and Michael Shannon), and Sigurður Þór Óskarsson play a couple that is struggling with moving on from each other, and the entire film can be interpreted as their means of coming to terms with such a traumatic breakup, even by unearthly means.  Writer/director Thoroddsen's script thankfully spends most of its time patiently and realistically showing the frustration and confusion surrounding complex romantic relationships, and being a movie where said relationship is a homosexual one, the subject matter is treated respectfully even with some obvious allusions to what many could consider to be universal hardships within the gay community.  All production aspects are top notch, from the performances to J.P. Wakayama's contemporary, naturalistic cinematography that gorgeously captures the Icelandic countryside as well as evoking an effective amount of dread where the spooky sequences are concerned.

 

MARLINA THE MURDERER IN FOUR ACTS

Dir - Mouly Surya

Overall: GOOD

 

A collaboration between Indonesian filmmakers Mouly Surya and Garin Nugroho, (the former being behind the lens and the latter conceiving of the story), Marlina the Murderer in Four Acts is a low-key rape and revenge western that casts a unique spell both for its narrative and execution.  Set on the island of Sumba, (where exteriors where likewise shot), the remote location provides an eerie backdrop where even in contemporary times, people can find themselves so easily brutalized when miles upon miles of desert landscape lay between any neighbors.  Similar to the American Old West which may as well have been a lawless no man's land in such respects, the women in particular here are left at the mercy of men who will nonchalantly overpower them.  It all creates a tense atmosphere where such brutality is taken at face value and Surya downplays every threat as well as every act of violence in a chilling manner.  It takes its time pacing wise, but this is to the film's benefit.  Beautifully photographed in mostly wide shots and long takes as well as peppered with both regional music and soundtrack motifs lifted right out of the Spaghetti Western playbook, the audience is left to simmer in a combination of uncomfortable and evocative moments throughout. 

 

REPLACE

Dir - Norbert Keil

Overall: MEH

 

German director Norbert Keil's second full-length film Replace is a schlocky affair that attempts a type of David Cronenberg-inspired, psychological body horror with a tone straight out of bargain bin silliness.  Things begin interesting enough with what seems like a singular premise of a young woman discovering that both her memory is faulty as of late and that she has deteriorating skin patches at random spots on her body.  As the plot thickens though, the goofy melodrama takes center stage and half-baked ideas and characters do things like murder, fall in love, make promises to each other, or in Barbara Crampton's case, lazily behave in a way that about a billion other cold-hearted, "mad scientists working on top secret medical technology that will revolutionize the world as we know it" have.  Keil's idea for an intense finale is to loop the same piece of music over and over again to the point of daring the audience to plug their ears as Rebecca Forsythe and Lucie Aron haphazardly attempt an escape, only to give up and profess their love for each other as the credits arrive with a false sense of profoundness that the movie never earns.  The photography is excellent though, and while Crampton's one-note villainess character leaves her no choice but to B-movie her way through it, Forsythe and Aron's performances are at least decent.

2017 Horror Part Fourteen

THE CURED

Dir - David Freyne

Overall: MEH

While pessimism is often an inherent trait in horror, it becomes quite exhausting in David Freyne's debut The Cured; yet another goddamn zombie movie where the nature of humanity is thrown up against hopelessly dour circumstances.  In all fairness, Freyne's angle here is a unique one in that he presents a world where the 28 Days Later styled, aggressive "zombie" virus is actually cured, only the caveat is that the once infected are treated as lepers by the rest of the society, causing a violent uprising to stand-in for real world, "us vs. them" marginalization.  All of this sounds fine and even intelligent on paper, but things quickly become obnoxious as it is all based on shaky, illogical footing where the discrimination seems preposterously uncalled for and exaggerated.  To make matters worse, Freyne utilizes hacky genre tropes, most egregiously with predictable, deafeningly loud, monster noise jump scares and characters leaving long pauses to let each other dramatically contemplate their dialog before exhibiting asinine behavior in the messy, final act.  The presentation is heady and bleak enough to disguise its poorly thought out details with the humor kept to an almost non-existent minimum and lots of gut-wrenching crying to go about, but the whole thing collapses easily.

GOOD MANNERS

Dir - Juliana Rojas/Marco Dutra

Overall: GOOD

Imperfect yet commendable for its bold choices and unique presentation of dark fairy tale subject matter, writer/director duo Juliana Rojas and Marco Dutra's latest full-length collaboration Good Manners, (As Boas Maneiras), is one of the most interesting, live action Disney homages disgusted as a horror film that one is likely to see.  Structured in two parts, it reveals its cards very slowly, unveiling more stylistic layers as it goes on which throw in everything from conventional monster movie, lesbian romance, and burst into song musical in as least likely of a manner as possible.  The first half is comparatively the strongest as it offers up the most surprises, focusing on the natural bonding between hired caretaker Isabél Zuaa and estranged-from-her-wealthy-family, mother-to-be Marjorie Estiano.  When things jump ahead, it becomes more foreseeable where it will all lead, but the emotional core at the story remains gripping, which focuses in no spoon-feeding terms on the loyalty of unconditional love.  The performances are excellent all around and Rojas and Dutra bathe the movie in vibrant colors as well as a heightened aesthetic that never becomes distracting.  Save a few minor plot holes in the end and some unfortunately terrible CGI, it is an excellent, refreshing work that has both its heart and genre admiration in the right places.

 

THE SLEEP CURSE

Dir - Herman Yau

Overall: MEH

 

It is no wonder that Herman Yau's The Sleep Curse, (Shi mian), is allegedly the movie that broke actor Anthony Wong from doing any future horror films as it is a laughably misguided mess all of the way through.  Even during the initial set up which sees Wong arguing about not being granted the funds to pursue a sleep deprivation experiment, Yau proves to be working within a schlock framework.  Yet once the narrative detours into a half-hour long flashback sequence for the second act, the momentum suffers exponentially from there as it then proceeds to bounce between two different timelines at irregular intervals.  The production values are noticeably cheap; like early 90s straight-to-video cheap except with occasional bouts of terrible CGI and modern day, screechy jump scares that would be annoying if not for how hilariously stupid they are.  Tonally, the real life World War II atrocities sit very awkwardly with whatever else Yau was going for here, especially considering that the last twenty minutes busts out cartoon level violence and preposterous shock-value tactics, though granted neither of these are new to the director's earlier gore spectacles.  We witness Wong removing a corpse's face for no reason in order to take out his brain, feasting on his love interest's arm, and most ridiculous of all, cutting a bad guy's penis off and shoving it in said bad guy's mouth before decapitating him.  At a hundred and two minutes, it is an egregious experience to sit through, but if trash fans are willing to cherry pick a handful of bloody, outrageous moments to laugh at, it at least has you covered there.

2017 Horror Part Thirteen

PYEWACKET

Dir - Adam MacDonald

Overall: GOOD

 

For his second time behind the lens, actor-turned-director Adam MacDonald explores a troubled mother/daughter dynamic through some black magic tampering with Pyewacket.  The title refers to one of the unwholesome spirit familiars that infamous witch hunter Matthew Hopkins alleged to have dealt with in England during the 17th century, here discovered in an occult manual by a high school girl who suffers from a significantly dysfunctional relationship with her widowed mother.  Wisely, MacDonald's screenplay paints both parties in said relationship with a nuanced brush.  We can relate to Nicole Muñoz being drawn to, (and then resorting to in desperation), witchcraft after losing her father, just as much as we can sympathize with the bitter, heartbroken bouts of frustration from her emotionally ravaged mother, played by genre regular Laurie Holden.  Muñoz is particularly good here, basking in very few moments of happiness as her traumatic situation reigns diabolical misfortune upon her.  While some of the plotting comes off as rushed and/or predictable in the third act, the dread building is persistent throughout and even with a couple of B-movie tropes in tow, (like Gothy "loser" kids and a video call session with a demonologist expert to explain the rules), MacDonald treats the important aspects of his story with enough intelligence and respect to make the supernatural elements that much more unsettling.

HAPPY DEATH DAY

Dir - Christopher Landon

Overall: MEH

 

Depending on how one feels about premise borrowing, Happy Death Day may either delight or annoy the multitudes of people with admiration for Groundhog's Day.  This includes the filmmaker's themselves who throw in a meta reference to the said Bill Murray classic which this serves as the comedic slasher variation of.  Originally slated to be produced by Michael Bay in 2007 under the title Half to Death, the script floated around and eventually got rewritten as a Blumhouse production with genre enthusiast Christopher Landon behind the lens.  Sadly, the resulting film is front-to-back formulaic.  It does more than just take the bare bones time loop framework from Groundhog's, it also focuses on the unlikable protagonist who has to go through a repeated series of the same thing to realize that she is unlikable and ergo must change her ways to break the cycle.  While nothing surprising happens, (even when something "surprising" happens during the last act), it suffices as mere popcorn fodder and Jessica Rothe is enjoyable as a bitch turned humbled victim turned badass final girl-ish.  There is no rule breaking going on here by design, but it is harmless, makes fun of itself, and is at least more amusing than most movies with obnoxious sorority stereotypes and killers in stupid masks.

 

ERREMENTARI

Dir - Paul Urkijo Alijo

Overall: GOOD

Frequently hilarious as a dark, bombastic, fire and brimstone fantasy, Errementari, (The Blacksmith and the Devil), is the full-length debut from Spanish filmmaker Paul Urkijo Alijo and an impressive one at that.  A rare genre work in the Basque language as well as an adaptation of the Indo-European folk story "The Smith and the Devil", it adheres to the type of arbitrary rules and regulations frequented in fairy tales from centuries past.  It is all played up for diabolical fun here, involving things like devils with pitchforks who scream in agony over the ringing of blessed bells and are compelled against their will to count spilled chickpeas.  The main focus involves a blacksmith who is so cruel and evil that "even the Devil is afraid of him", a blacksmith who has captured a lesser hell-spawn that he sold his soul to, all in purpose of delaying his unavoidable eternity in the abyss.  While the stakes are firmly established and the plot thickens deliciously enough as things go on, the movie is mostly a triumph for its fantastical, humorous tone and wonderful effects work, most of which are practical besides the CGI, fire-bathed gates of hell finale.  Each demon makeup that is utilized has a unique, over the top look and the rest of the period setting is appropriately bathed in dark, natural lighting and plenty of bleak grime.  The fact that the finished result even manages to add a little heart to the proceedings is also in keeping to the popcorn-munching agenda.

2017 Horror Part Twelve

SUPER DARK TIMES

Dir - Kevin Phillips

Overall: MEH

 

The full-length debut from director Kevin Phillips, Super Dark Times sets up some intriguing ideas with a disturbed scenario before unraveling wildly in a finale that comes off as more awkwardly arbitrary than satisfying.  That may have been intended though as Phillips teases that a sinister aura is hovering over the film's setting, even opening things with a never explained, mortally-wounded animal found inside of a school.  This heavy atmosphere of, (possibly spontaneous), dread runs throughout, which makes it a gripping experience until it is revealed that screenwriters Ben Collins and Luke Piotrowski, (who have continued to have a career penning screenplays exclusively in the horror genre), have nowhere substantial to go with their story.  It could all be saying something about how traumatic experiences cast a permeating cloud of unease over us that certain people are likely to violently spiral out of.  Yet instead of having that unfold naturally while focused on characters who are believably struggling with a profound loss of innocence over an extended period of time, the movie goes for a shocking finale that warrants a would-be false sense of paranoia.  Some audiences may be intrigued by such an outcome while others may be scratching their head in disapproval, but the sloppy conclusion seems unwarranted and its final, uplifting tag undeserved.

 

NOVEMBER

Dir - Rainer Sarnet

Overall: GOOD

A highly evocative and occasionally funny fantasy art film, November, (Rehepapp), sees Estonian writer/director Rainer Sarnet delivering a singular genre work full of grime, spells, spirits, romance, and all things otherworldly.  An adaptation of Andrus Kivirähk's novel of the same name, the story is set sometime in the 19th century where the people in a desperately impoverished village community scheme to survive the impending winter, stealing from each other while trying to trick both the plague and the devil by various means.  In this universe, the supernatural is completely commonplace where kratt servants are made from snow and household items, witches perform magic as a dutiful courtesy, the dead sit and visit with their loved ones, disease is personified as a beautiful woman, then a goat, a wild boar, and one of the lead characters can turn herself into a wolf.  A tragic love story first and foremost, the mystical, folklore elements are so prevalent that the entire thing has a highly surreal vibe, emphasized by its haunting soundtrack and excellent, black and white cinematography from Mart Taniel.  While it is certainly gritty and never portrays its fantastical landscape romantically, the film is persistently spell-binding to look at and many humorous, sometimes even off-color moments are dashed about which make all of the inherent strangeness go down with an odd chuckle or two.

 

SATAN'S SLAVES

Dir - Joko Anwar

Overall: MEH

The first horror remake as part of Rapi Films resurgence with the genre was Joko Anwar's take on Satan's Slaves, (Pengabdi Setan).  Loosely connected to the original 1980 movie and serving as a soft redo/prequel, it is a mostly formulaic, slow burn affair.  While the mood setting is expertly handled with minimal comedic beats, (treating every time that night falls as an anxiety-fest for the audience to witness some spooky stuff), unfortunately said horror-tinged set pieces are almost entirely made up of predictable, loud jump scares.  Even during the more drawn-out bits, the soundtrack department never once resists the urge to bust out the screechy noises and conventional scary music to redundantly slam home the point and ruin the otherwise naturalistic and intensely creepy atmosphere.  Even with this contemporary, stylistic detriment in tow, the actual story is quite silly when one sits back to contemplate it.  Elements such as arbitrary ghost activity and a massage-loving occult expert telling people to read his magazine articles instead of just properly explaining things to them are impossible to take seriously, despite what the eerie and ominous tone otherwise dictates.   Rapi's next re-imagining of one of their beloved, 1980s exploitation film's in 2019's The Queen of Black Magic is far superior, (as is said film that it is based on), but this one almost impresses with its dedication to giving you goosebumps.

2017 Horror Part Eleven

BEAST

Dir - Michael Pearce

Overall: GOOD

An excellent full-length debut from filmmaker Michael Pearce, Beast offers up challenging ideas involving the deep-seeded need for troubled people to find unconditional acceptance and love amongst those who have similarly succumbed to less than admirable, impassioned outbursts.  Led primarily by Jessie Buckley and Johnny Flynn, both deliver multi-layered performances that showcase a perpetual, internal struggle to come to terms with their own tendencies towards impulsive rage and overall recklessness, finding each other in an environment that puts them at odds with nearly everyone else besides each other.  Buckley's character's tendency towards violent fantasy provides the movie with its only psychologically nightmarish moments, but even those are presented in the most realistic of manners.  This fits with the general agenda to stay grounded in unflinching, emotional vulnerability and Pearce creates a series of moments where the very dirt and grime of the earth covers the people on screen.  As far as setting the appropriate, somber mood, Benjamin Kračun's cinematography and Jim Williams score goes a long way as well.

 

DAVE MADE A MAZE

Dir - Bill Waterson

Overall: MEH

 

A purposely absurdist, hipster friendly fantasy film, Dave Made a Maze takes a ridiculous premise to mostly inventive places while meandering a bit along the way.  The debut from Ohio-born writer/director Bill Waterson, (who co-authored the film with Steven Sears, also a relative newcomer), the story generates some automatic laughs when the preposterous situation is first established.  As things prod along and our series of quirky characters react in mostly nonchalant ways to what is happening, the plotting goes in circles that rather appropriately mirror the on screen plight.  As the title would suggest, everyone gets lost in a maze that has no business actually existing in the real world, (or in this case, isolated to a single living room of an apartment), and about half of the dialog is people stopping to say "We need to get out of here", and then the inevitable wacky surprise to keep things moving interrupts them until the next time such a series of events is repeated.  This monotony is a shame since the movie is full of clever, mildly to adequately amusing ideas and it also has a relatable, not too heavy theme of accomplishing something in lieu of lingering in slacker meaninglessness, though this is hardly explored in much depth.  Probably silly enough in an idiosyncratic way to please those looking for something unique to sit through, but it also misses the mark in a handful of ways.

MUSE

Dir - Jaume Balagueró 

Overall: GOOD

A return to by-the-books supernatural horror for filmmaker Jaume Balagueró, Muse, (Musa), is a highly formulaic one that mostly gets by due to the complex and intriguing nature of its source material.  José Carlos Somoza's novel The Lady Number Thirteen offers up an interesting variation of occult witchery which for genre fans will likely remind them of Dario Argento's Three Mothers, here expanded to seven immortal women who each go by the moniker "She who...".  In addition to this, the use of poetic expression itself holds a sort of open ended power where many legendary works by several authors over the centuries have been guided by their wicked influence and when recited, can raise people from the dead.  There is much to unpack with a multitude of rules at play, some of which are only vaguely alluded to instead of properly divulged for the audience.  In any event, Balagueró generic, muted-color pallet presentation which uses a persistent musical score unfortunately creates a mildly campy tone that makes some of the plot points seem more contrived and goofy than they deserve.  There is plenty of heavy, emotional weight to the proceedings though with characters struggling with their own promises of undying love and deep seeded grief, plus for the most part, the movie keeps these elements in proper check.

2017 Horror Part Ten

IT

Dir - Andy Muschietti

Overall: MEH

Several years in development to somewhat redeem the rather flawed 1990 miniseries, the first inevitable remake of Stephen King's It plays all of its cards as safety as possible with predictably derivative results.  Argentine-born Andy Muschietti was the last in a handful of directors to land the gig, but this has all of the feel of a major budgeted, big studio production as opposed to a filmmaker's vision because the former is exactly what it is.  A criminal amount of jump scares are utilized that emerge literally every single time that the incessant music shuts up for a second or two, plus all would-be frightening set pieces are made ridiculous by atrocious CGI and hackey sound design.  So stylistically, this is pure, relentless popcorn schlock that renders the entire production laughable instead of even remotely scary.  The script, (which likewise numerous screenwriters took a stab at), updates King's source material understandably enough and wisely omits that whole underage orgy plot point, but even at over two hours in length, the film feels rushed in trying to establish its array of characters and the family dysfunction that motivates their bonding experience.  Because both the novel and the Tim Curry-led miniseries are seeped in popular culture at this point, this adaptation gets by on the familiarity of its bullet points as opposed to deeply exploring or enhancing them.  Speaking of Curry, at least Bill Skarsgård does not make a bad Pennywise for his select few moments on screen where he is not reduced to a pointy-mouthed cartoon.  Plus Finn Wolfhard steels the show as the wise-cracking Richie Tozier, the only character thankfully allowed to not take such nonsense seriously.

HOUSEWIFE

Dir - Can Evrenol

Overall: GOOD

Once again basking in the Satanic, Euro-horror sleaze of yesteryear like a gleeful kid in a candy store, Turkish filmmaker Can Evrenol delivers another nightmare logic bit of absurdity with Housewife, his English-speaking follow-up to 2015's equally grotesque and bananas Baskin.  Perhaps the best aspect of Evrenol's growing aesthetic is that he manages to create spiritual homages to the work of Mario Bava, Lucio Fulci, Paul Nashcy, and any other European cult movie trailblazer from the 1970s without stylistically copycatting old school cinematic tactics.  Instead, his vision is his own and something wholly seeped in the contemporary, even if this sometimes means that hacky dialog and annoying jump scares rear their ugly head to appease the James Wan fan who may come across his stuff.  The old school nods are unmistakable for those who share Evrenol's exploitation tastes but of course, this would be merely a derivative throwback for the sake of it if he did not up the ante with some gasp-worthy moves of his own.  Exploring repressed, childhood trauma and the fear of motherhood in a delightfully ridiculous manner that pulls out all of the occult stops in an off-the-rails finale, the story here will probably never hold up under a microscope, but if one is down for the hellish ride, you cannot help but applaud its absurdity.

THE BABYSITTER

Dir - McG

Overall: MEH

Far too in on its own self referential, meta joke, The Babysitter is another horror comedy that tries way too hard to be clever while making fun of genre tropes left and right.  Brian Duffield's script was picked up from 2014's Black List by director McG who had previous done those stupid Charlie's Angels movies and Terminator: Salvation, oye.  Going in blind which is essential for something like this, there sure is one hellova rug pull that happens in the second act, but everything surrounding that rug pull is a combination of idiotic and obnoxious character traits for everyone on screen, plus plot points that are nowhere near funny enough to justify how nonsensical they are.  Samantha Weaving's title character and Judah Lewis' "afraid of everything who of course is going to overcome all of his set-up fears by film's end" protagonist assuredly make the most unrealistic babysitter/babysittee duo in the history of recorded fiction.  Having adorable science-fiction nerd-out conversations, sharing in-jokes, reciting lines to old movies, and, (most nauseating of all), actually performing a choreographed dance with each other, it is all enough to bail on the movie before it even gets going.  Once it does, the blood-drenched, foul-mouthed gags solely rely on everyone behaving in a preposterous manner, but the movie goes for heart-warming, coming-of-age cuteness at the same time which makes for a misguided, annoying tone that never formulates itself successfully.  By the time "We Are the Champions" plays while Lewis inexplicably drives a retro car into his own house, flips over several times, and walks away without a scratch, it is also about time to ask for your eight-five minutes back.