Dir - Peter Sasdy
Overall: MEH
The first post-Hammer theatrical film from director Peter Sasdy was Doomwatch, (Island of the Ghouls); an environmental not-really-horror film based off of the BBC science fiction series of the same name. It has a Wicker Man-esque set-up where a scientific investigator visits an isolated island full of aloof inhabitants, but things steady meander after that with a central mystery that is fully explained by the second act. From there, it plods along in a talky fashion as Ian Bannen's well-meaning protagonist tries in vain to convince the islanders that their plight has nothing to do with biblical judgement and has everything to do with dumped growth stimulants that have affected the local fish that they eat. Even in its condensed form here as opposed to the television program, it still plays out in a less exciting fashion than it sounds. There are only two moments that signal any kind of threat and it is all wrapped up, (and heavily proceeded by), endless amounts of banter between scientists, military bureaucrats, shady corporate men, and stubborn townsfolk. Some gnarly, Ben Grimm-esque makeup and George Sanders making a swarmy cameo aside, it still fails to impress.
(1974)
Dir - Freddie Francis
Overall: MEH
An interesting trainwreck for all parties involved, Son of Dracula is a bizarre product of Apple Films, produced by and staring none other than Ringo Starr as a vehicle for none other than Harry Nilsson. The latter had just recently released his quasi-horror spoof album Son of Schmilsson, which this movie daftly has no relation to. Instead, it is a largely incomprehensible mess of musical and montage footage with a rough plot line of Nilsson's vampire seeking mortality after falling in love with Van Helsing's charming assistant. Ringo plays Merlin the Magician, Dr. Frankenstein is the villain, Skip Martin shows up, a werewolf and the Frankenstein monster show up, (though they may be wax figures come to life), and Nilsson's bar band includes the likes of The Rolling Stones' horn section, Leon Russell, Klaus Voormann, Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Peter Frampton. Also, it was directed by Hammer and Amicus mainstay Freddie Francis, though he bowed out during the editing phase for logical reasons. At one point Graham Chapman, Douglas Adams, and Bernard McKenna were even commissioned to write a new script to be dubbed over the footage, yet this never came to pass. Likewise, the film failed to get commercially released and has merely survived in midnight movie screenings and bootleg versions ever since. Unfortunately a sluggish watch with no intended humor coming across besides Nilsson's name being Count Downe, (get it?), but rock and horror buffs should probably give it a curiosity viewing at some point.
(1976)
Dir - James Kenelm Clarke
Overall: MEH
The sleazy, lackluster thriller Exposé, (House on Straw Hill, Trauma), from writer/director James Kenelm Clarke has little going for it besides it being a registered video nasty and staring genre regulars Udo Kier and Linda Hayden in the leads. Apparently neither actor was happy with the results, as Kier rightfully lamenting the fact that he was allegedly never paid for his work, had difficulties with co-star Fiona Richmond, and had his recognizable German voice dubbed over, while Hayden merely considered it the only movie in her filmography that she regretted doing. The story concerns a chauvinistic writer who rents out an isolated abode to finish his latest novel, hiring a secretary with her own revenge agenda that he only becomes aware of when it is far too late. In the meantime, Hayden gets naked, gets raped, plays with herself, and has a narratively unnecessary lesbian encounter, while Kier drinks excessively and grows frustrated with his failed sexual advances towards his employee. Hardly the most charming set of characters to be stuck with for eighty-odd minutes and nothing happens that is particularly shocking or interesting. Different edits of the film exist with more or less nudity and bloodshed depending, but it ends up being a forgettable bit of exploitation in either capacity.
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