(1983)
Dir - Douglas McKeown
Overall: WOOF
Despite having a synth score and a puppet monster that is as decent as any from the 1980s, The Deadly Spawn is deadly, deadly, deadly boring. Written and directed by Douglas McKeown, (who has made a grand total of zero movies before or since this one), the pacing is absolutely detrimental to the film. Essentially, if the giant slug creatures with layers of razor sharp teeth are not on screen munching people up, it is a laborious experience. Even when the kill scenes do transpire, they are anything but exciting. Characters get predictably jumped by them and at one staggeringly insulting instance, a kid literally just stands in place without immediately running away and/or screaming, instead watching them drool right in front of him for what seems like an hour. There is also a party of middle aged ladies that we get to witness all the agonizing prep for, people making breakfast, waking up, sitting around and talking, more sitting around and talking, and then hiding and screaming which is just as dull as all the sitting around and talking. Again, the creatures look good but they are as slow moving as the movie is and the ending, (as in once the creatures are seemingly defeated and everyone is chilling outside with cops and ambulances), just keeps going and going before the last predictable shot finally takes place.
(1987)
Dir - John Grissmer
Overall: MEH
Though it is equipped with an interesting twin brother premise and boasts no shortage of gruesome death scenes, John Grissmer's Blood Rage is loaded with problems. Everything that would be clever about the film is merely implied. Instead of addressing any of its presented psychology or even developing its villain in any way shape or form, it instead just has him start murdering absolutely everyone until the credits hit. It is almost impressive how the movie blows all of its on-paper potential with a plot that is so empty that it barely appears to have one. Whether this was due to editing and censored versions existing which omitted some scenes while adding others, in either case, the filmmaker's complete neglect to flesh out the story and instead just make it a kills-by-numbers outing is thoroughly disappointing. The acting is mostly b-level except with one-time Louise Lasser who delivers the most irritating performances possible as the boy's mother, spending nearly all of her scenes hysterically breaking down and crying, especially the entire middle of the movie. Blood Rage only becomes a bore because after so long, it becomes unmistakably apparent that jacking up the body count was indeed its only goal in the first place.
(1989)
Dir - Bob Balaban
Overall: GREAT
Actor/author/producer/occasional director Bob Balaban's Parents was his non-television debut behind the lens and not the first or last of his forays into horror comedy. It is an extremely strong opening all around though, with everything to recommend and nothing to condemn. Utilizing the premise of a child with an overactive imagination who sees everything his textbook, 1950's, suburban working class parents do as being sinister, Parents is remarkably stylized from beginning to end as an eerie, nightmarish horror movie while simultaneously being cheerful and goofy at surface level. This is one of those films where nearly everything contributes to its success. Christopher Hawthorne's script continually keeps the audience guessing, Jonathan Elias and Angelo Badalamenti's music is superb, the sound design could not be more effectively moody, the cast is perfect, (particularly Randy Quaid as the smiling, calmly threatening dad and Bryan Madorsky as the nervous, almost totally silent kid), and Balaban keeps the tone in check while carefully going the conventional horror movie route when necessary. Many instances wonderfully toy with the horror format, while others are presented in a more genre friendly way that turns visually innocent things into macabre ones. Top notch stuff.
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