(1981)
Dir - J. Lee Thompson
Overall: WOOF
When does it end? Once again again, yet another Canadian-produced slasher movie cashing in on the trend that production studios were apparently legally obligated to churn out, Happy Birthday to Me scraped the barrel to get another holiday to check off as a premise, this time why not someone's birthday? While this one has a more classy production and look than others, make no mistake; it is just as moronic and stock in every last detail. The entire film focuses on red herrings and as we get closer and closer to the conclusion, more and more plot holes erupt with more and more laughable consequences. As you can clearly tell, the appeal of these movies is altogether a befuddlement. They hit the same beats in the same fashion over and over and the fact that so many where vomited out to theaters, (not counting the hundreds more that did nott even make it that far and gasp, even continue to be made ad nausem), the slasher film is a sub-genre so set in its uninspired ways that it is futile to go anywhere remotely interesting with it. The only pleasantry with here is that the characters are not the most obnoxious possible and it is only insulting in its laziness, at least until the ending practically goes Scooby-Doo stupid and beats you in the face mercilessly with how asinine it is.
(1987)
Dir - Jörg Buttgereit
Overall: MEH
This infamous, no budget exploitation film that Alex Webster for one has long championed is primarily what you would expect from its intentionally gross-out title. Nekromantik is meant to be as shocking as possible, aggressively showcasing taboos that are queasy to watch to say the least. Sex with corpses, animal mutilation, rape, and a guy committing suicide by stabbing himself in the gut while his rock-hard dick orgasms with massive amounts of blood and semen are all shown in brightly-lit detail. None are meant to be the least bit tasteful either, as doing so would obviously be impossible. First time filmmaker Jörg Buttgereit is glorifying nothing here and though the goal positively seems to be in repulsing and appalling his audience, it is not necessarily a brain-dead and obnoxious splatter movie completely void of merit. Buttgereit seems to be examining human desensitization where his impotent and wimpish main character can only come alive through such cartoonishly vile acts and fantasies. That said, watching the movie is no joy ride even from a curiosity standpoint. Movies like Nekromantik generally suffer the same problem in how unpleasant they are to experience and basically once you have seen it, re-visiting such unapologetic nastiness is something only a comparative few would indulge in.
(1988)
Dir - Dick Maas
Overall: MEH
Despite being a somewhat rare offering from the Netherlands that barely qualifies as something of note to horror enthusiasts, the fittingly titled Amsterdamned is slow and lackluster in most regards. The backdrop of a scuba-diving serial killer sounds more fun on paper than it ends up being here, primarily due to the serious pacing issues on hand. It does not just fail to deliver an interesting payoff after so long of a wait, but it also does not make for a compelling story in the first place. The film meanders around, boringly going from day to day and predictable kill to kill while the police force remains incapable of catching a guy who is ultimately killing people for a lame reason anyway. This is not even taking into account the stock love interest angle and sub-plot around two uninteresting kids, one of whom pretends to have psychic powers. The ending seems like a downright cheat, quickly unloading expository dialog and then wrapping up right before any kind of exciting confrontation can be made. We actually KIND of get one of those with a drawn-out boat chase sequence throughout the canals of Amsterdam, but that basically shows up twenty minutes too early. Even though the whole thing still feels like an hour and some change too late. A few gruesome moments and light chuckles here or there is all that it is ultimately worth.
No comments:
Post a Comment