(1993)
Dir - Mark Jones
Overall: WOOF
If one were to be generous, you could say that there are about three amusing lines in what is otherwise as terribly obnoxious of a B-movie dumbfest as the 90s ever produced. The first in the Leprechaun series, (how eight of these exist so far is a question only the gods can answer), certainly was not made to be a game changer. Yet it would be fair to assume that the people behind it at the very least intended it to be entertaining. You have to really be a glutton for stupidity though to think they pulled such a thing off. There are false alarms/psyche outs/jump scares, cars not starting, phone lines being down, phone batteries dying, and the title villain can do any number of arbitrary, physics-defying things while ignoring his own would-be apparent rules. Sometimes bullets stop him, sometimes they do not. Sometimes four-leaf clovers stop him, sometimes they do not. Sometimes he appears wherever he wants, other times he has to make toy cars run like real cars with magic to catch up to people. Sometimes he easily gets the upper hand, sometimes he instead chooses to fuck around for no reason. We could be here all night. While English actor Warwick Davis is usually likeable, everything he does and says here grows more painfully annoying and less funny as the movie goes on, though you would think otherwise by how much he incessantly cackles after his every utterance. It is not like people who even dig any of the Leprechauns would argue any of these points so who is there to convincing really?
(1995)
Dir - Abel Ferrara
Overal: MEH
Overtly pretentious and only partially successful because of it, Abel Ferrara's The Addiction is another contemporary vampire allegory that as one could guess by the title, likens the fictitious undead affliction to severe drug dependence. The pairing of the two concepts is not anything new and it is a bit on the nose here, but Ferrara still displays a level of control over his multitude of themes which also includes Catholic guilt and a whole lot of philosophical jargon. The latter element is the one that becomes too much too fast. Lili Taylor is rather good in the lead going from victim, to blood-sucking junky, to remorseful addict, but she does not have a single line of dialog that is readily decipherable. By speaking solely in abstract and pompous declarations, the movie overplays its hand at being a bit too arty to really connect with its serious subject matter. Christopher Walken ends up stealing the movie with his cameo and though his dialog is not really any less grandiose, his very Christopher Walkeny demeanor and delivery sells it better through sheer oddness and intensity. The Addiction is a unique entry in vampire cinema to be fair, but it could probably come back down to earth a little more and maybe take advantage of its dingy, Manhattan setting in place of quoting Nietzsche and Sartre ad nauseam.
(1997)
Dir - Robert Kurtzman
Overall: MEH
Dozens upon dozens of stupid, ultra-violent, post-Nightmare on Elm Street schlocky-horror movies were unleashed primarily in the 1980s, but many other franchises still birthed as late as 1997. Which brings us to the first of four Wishmasters. Any of these movies as well as pick-your-favorite where a wisecracking villain keeps coming back and the scripts keep getting recycled with the target audience rarely complaining are just as dumb as the next and this one does not disappoint in its silliness. Wes Craven threw his name on it which does not come off as random since special effects man turned director Robert Kurtzman is essentially just enhancing the same beats that Craven's directorial efforts indulge in. The plot is dangerously full of holes, no performance comes within several hundred miles of subtle, the digital effects are utterly deplorable though the practical ones are splendid, and it is all gory, loud, and in on its own joke. Shameless horror geek service is offered up in that practically everyone on screen is known from a previous, cherished B-movie or several in the genre. In the lead villain role, Venezuelan-Russian actor Andrew Divoff savors his scenery like a true cornball boss. In all honesty, this is just a big pile of fun garbage and rather hard to hate.
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