Dir - Chad Archibald
Overall: WOOF
Sometimes a movie comes along with no redeemable qualities. It can certainly be as common in horror as it can anywhere else and The Heretics from Canadian genre filmmaker Chad Archibald does in fact staunchly adhere to having no redeemable qualities. From the opening nightmare sequence to the final, pathetic psyche-out ending, it is a non-stop barrage of appalling cliches, appalling dialog, appalling acting, and a script that could have feasibly been written by a six year old who thought weirdos with robes and masks were scary, simply filling in the blanks with pick your horror movie trope in between that one-note premise. The presentation of all of this lazy, uninspired nonsense never stops being annoying. Hallucinations or something are all arbitrary, no one's behavior is remotely believable, the horror movie 101 musical score only pauses for boo scares, and you get the idea. Despite how horribly lazy all of this sounds, it is really only a problem that the movie takes itself so seriously instead of just utilizing its ridiculously tired ingredients to either go full schlock or just make fun of itself along the way. The Heretics does no such thing and just insultingly bores you instead. Enough of this shit, please.
Dir - Joachim Trier
Overall: MEH
Mindfully enigmatic and frequently beautiful, Thelma is the first effort from Norwegian filmmaker Joachim Trier that mildly dances with elements of horror. It does not really come all that close though to qualify, which is great in that it is positively unnecessary to dwell in any cliches for the mere sake of doing so. For a film that deals with repression and the trauma caused by detrimentally draconian parenting, Thelma seems rather straightforward on surface level. The title character's mom and dad are strict Christians, spy on her school activities and social media account, freak out when she does not answer their persistent cell phone check ins, and the dad in particular seems to have a zero tolerance for even the most minute intellectual thought she might bring to the table. How this all seems to effect her is manifested rather troublingly, but it also unfortunately leaves a few too many rather irrational questions dangling. The supernatural elements seem lazily handled and properly understanding the parent's behavior gets kind of bypassed to instead almost exclusively focus on the film being an emotionally impactful experience. It offers a lot to appreciate, but still falls short of being a complete success.
Dir - Guillermo del Toro
Overall: GREAT
Back on top after the creative, hugely lackluster supernatural slump that was Crimson Peak, The Shape of Water is more Guillermo del Toro's romantic love letter to a specific horror film than a horror film itself. Essentially re-writing The Creature from the Black Lagoon as a proper romance between two isolated characters, del Toro plays to his strengths in once again bringing a dark fairytale to vivid, often bloody and adult-oriented life while breathing in all of the emotional hues that his best work always offers. Set during the Cold War and unflinchingly showing the dismissive treatment of the disenfranchised amongst other things, the backdrop is ideal for a rather classic story about how those in power can be bullying towards what they do not understand. Meanwhile, those who are more unassuming and benevolent can truly blossom in the face of something so mystical. Thankfully, another hallmark of del Toro's work which is the stylized, grandiose, visual flair he brings to the table is also on display. Fitting the Gill-man admiration, the movie is seeped in numerous shades of green and even indulges itself in a lone, black and white musical segment that would seem distractingly out of place in a lesser filmmaker's hands. Yet really, this is a rather singular work that is all del Toro's vision from frame one to frame last. Thankfully so mind you.
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