(1971)
Dir - Harry Kümel
Overall: MEH
This maddeningly confused adaptation of Belgian author Jean Ray's novel of the same name does practically everything in its power not to compute. Malpertuis was Harry Kümel's follow-up to the long-admired Daughters of Darkness and it would be his second and last direct horror film, though there is absolutely nothing direct about the narrative, that is for sure. Nearly every character spouts frequent and frustratingly cryptic dialog about the secrets of the title location; a sprawling, labyrinth-like abode that nobody can leave because if they do then they will miss out on Orson Welles' inheritance. Oh yes, Welles is present and received top billing for only a small handful of scenes where he is bedridden, (and dubbed in the Flemish-speaking version), but his involvement is the least bizarre aspect of the film. The ending offers up even more questions than were already there and along the way the blitzkrieg-like editing and two-hour running time helps make for an exhaustively nebulous experience. Particular elements are creepy and the story has some unique ideas, but the presentation is just not worth the taxing effort.
(1973)
Dir - Joseph W. Sarno
Overall: MEH
Sexploitation pioneer Joseph W. Sarno worked outside of his native America on a number of projects, The Devil's Plaything, (Der Fluch der schwarzen Schwestern), being a co-production between West Germany, Switzerland, and Sweden. A primarily awkward and absurd lesbian vampire film with a non-existent budget, it nevertheless has a curious tone of seriousness. The international cast speaks their own English dialog which though preferable over the usual bottom-barrel dubbing that was common in Euro-horror, makes for mostly clumsy performances as it is all delivered in a completely monotone, almost drugged manner. Even during the numerous moments of occult-fueled nudity and characters having sex with one another, they seem like they are about to fall asleep at a moment's notice. The lack of funds available becomes hilarious during a sequence where a woman is supposed to be warding off bats. Instead, she is just flinging her arms at the air and holding up a cross necklace. Oddest of all is how lethargic the actual plot is. Characters are cooped up in a remote castle for days on end with absolutely zero sense of urgency. So when most of them are vampires or witches, (or the resurrected ancestors of vampires or witches), why they simply go about their time having boring, repetitive conversations with their respected victims is something the film needs not bother explaining apparently.
(1978)
Dir - Richard Franklin
Overall: MEH
This ozploitation film from Richard Franklin was scripted by Everett De Roche who also penned the far superior Long Weekend which was released the same year. Patrick makes it a point to throw in some gross-out sleaze with the comatose, telekinetic title character writing filth on a typewriter and getting boners, a doctor lobotomizing a frog and eventually eating it, and a rather unnecessary shot of feces on the floor from a dude trapped in an elevator. Frog-eating doctor guy is a raving asshole for no reason and it even manages to shoehorn in the cliche of people thinking a level-headed, concerned woman must be crazy because the script needs everybody not to believe her. The black comedy aspects only occasionally seem to be intentional. Most of the moments instead come off as kind of awkwardly silly and overall the movie has a somewhat hard time making the viewer take it that seriously. It is also too long, growing a bit monotonously predictable by the finale which also leaves much to be desired. There are probably better movies out there of human vegetables spitting on people and getting hard-ons while they try and kill them with their villainous brains.
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