(1982)
Dir - Allan Holzman
Overall: MEH
With a tag line such as "Part Alien...Part Human...All Nightmare", a nifty painting that combines Frank Frazetta tantalization with sci-fi bug monsters, and the text "Produced by Roger Corman" hovering over the R rating, the cover art for Forbidden World, (Mutant, Subject 20), gives you all the information you need. Meaning it is much lamer than it looks and fulfills all expectations that a typical B-rent Corman movie would have. It was shot on existing sets from the previous year's Galaxy of Terror, (also produced by Corman), utilizes footage from Battle Beyond the Stars, (also also produced by Corman), and allegedly went into production with no script and nothing more than a few notes from Corman. The cast is far from A-list and far from good, with the women being nothing more than vacant-expression boobs to look at and the guys being mostly macho cliches. Plot wise, it is Alien without any of the atmosphere, any of the budget, and any of the brains. If it was not for all of the exploitative nudity and gore, the film would fit right at home with any 50s drive-in, monster B-movie. Whether or not that is a good, bad, or laughable thing is up to the individual of course.
(1984)
Dir - Charles E. Sellier Jr.
Overall: MEH
One of the more lucrative entries in the Holiday horror sub-genre that spawned four sequels and a remake, Silent Night, Deadly Night was also one of the most notorious. Successful protests were launched, complaining about its add campaign that took the film out of theaters only a week after its release. The almost unanimously appalled reviews did not help much either. While the premise of a kid whose parents were murdered by a guy in a Santa Clause costume right in front of him is solid, all of the future problems he faces seem easily avoidable. If all of the nuns who proceed to raise him are aware of this, why would they torture him about it so mercilessly? Then as an adult, why on earth would he get a job at a toy store and furthermore, why on earth would he agree to be their resident mall Santa when the normal guy cannot make it? How 'bout just telling your boss, "Um, I'd love to, but you see my parents were killed and raped by a lunatic in a Santa costume so I'm a little touchy about the whole St. Nicolas thing". The film is pretty consistently in poor taste, which is a problem in that it also plays itself very seriously instead of leaning more on its camp appeal, which would have maybe lightened the nastiness. Linnea Quigley runs around naked and there are several shots of Star Wars and Masters of the Universe merch on the shelves so that is something at least.
(1986)
Dir - Ted Nicolaou
Overall: WOOF
Made by the founding creative team behind the production company Full Moon Features, (including writer/director Ted Nicolaou, producers Albert and Charles Band, and composer Richard Band), TerrorVision could be one of the dumbest and least amusing horror comedies that you are hopefully never likely to see. Deliberately schlocky and juvenile, it takes quite an in-your-face approach to its moronic, B-movie subject manner. This would be tolerable if any and I do mean ANY of the jokes actually connected, but boy do they never. Each character is more obnoxious than the next from the horny, gun-toting grandpa, to the horny guy fixing a satellite, to the horny mom and dad swingers, to the horny Cyndi Lauper-clad teenage daughter, to her horny "woah, gnarly bro" metalhead boyfriend, to the horny Greek gay dude, to the horny kid that no one believes when monsters start showing up. There is even an Elvira stand-in with giant hooters who is about a million times less funny than Elvira ever was. Complaining about the plot, dialog, or character motivation for a movie as braindead as this is probably unnecessary since its entire purpose is to be the antithesis of clever. Trying too hard and failing even harder, it is definitely best not remembered.
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