(1983)
Dir - Dick Maas
Overall: MEH
Killer machinery is always unstable footing for a horror movie premise and Dutch director Dick Maas' De Lift, (The Lift), is a clear example of such a problem. The concept alone of a malevolent elevator is laughable of course which makes the movie's mostly straight-faced tone fail to provide any properly frightening moments. Instead, it is a solid contender for one of the least scary horror movies ever made. It is also incredibly boring. To flesh out the running time, Maas has a mechanic spend his free time tracking people down and trying to get to the bottom of what could be causing so many accidents in the high-end building complex. What else is there to do really then wait for the title "monster" to decide to murder someone or simply stop working so its passengers pass out from heat exhaustion? Even though most of the time the elevator runs just fine, including at the end when the main guy whose especially convinced that it is dangerous just takes a ride in it anyway. Speaking of malfunctioning equipment, either telephones work different in Amsterdam or they forgot to add the ringing sound effect as characters multiple times pick up the receiver and just start talking to whoever called them. Whatever. Moving on.
(1986)
Dir - Wojciech Jerzy Has
Overall: GOOD
This adaptation of James Hogg's novel The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Killer by Polish filmmaker Wojciech Jerzy Has is a deliberately paced, surreal exercise in internal struggles between Christian-fed values of good and evil. Memoirs of a Sinner, (Osobisty pamiętnik grzesznika przez niego samego spisany), is a part-horror film in mood; one which occasionally becomes intoxicatingly fitting with eerie music and fog-laden cinematography. The opening scene of a cemetery full of corpses rising up from their graves at dusk and embarking on a candlelit procession is less cliche-ridden zombie movie fare and more of a curious, ethereal beginning that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Has embellishes in a number of long takes throughout which are visually grand and impressive, though they also tend to extend the running time a bit too long than is perhaps necessary. The dialog is mostly philosophical and though it is not necessarily cryptic in nature, it is less a routine, point A to point B story . Instead, it is ambiguous in its message or lack thereof which involves a disturbed man who justifies his vile deeds against those whom he sees as already damned. While the pacing is cumbersome at times, it is a beautiful film with enough haunting imagery to keep one intrigued.
(1988)
Dir - Edward Hunt
Overall: MEH
A wildly silly, cheap schlock-fest from Canada, The Brain has many hallmarks of craptacular cinema. Several of the actors turn in embarrassing performances, Edward Hunt's direction is laughably inept at times, the script is pure nonsense, and the title monster is a cheap, slimy mess. Thankfully, the amatuer-hour presentation does not bleed too much into the pacing at least which besides a middle act eventually getting bogged down by chase scenes, is kept brisk. Another sleeze-ball, hammy performance from Re-Animator's David Gale certainly helps as well, though sadly he is a bit underused. Many of the set pieces involve elaborate hallucinations where floppy, rubber tentacles choke people or on the lighter end of the spectrum, make teddy bears start moving and women's clothes disappear while they are holding an apple. Sodium also plays a critical role, which is indeed a bizarre sentence to write. While its attempts at mass-hypnosis creepiness kind of fall flat amidst all of the other lame-brained, (har, har), production qualities, for the most part the movie lays into its dumbness enough to make it consistently easy to laugh at. It is trash, but it is trash with a much needed, good amount of eye-winking towards its audience.
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