Dir - Kevin Lewis
Overall: MEH
On paper, Nicolas Cage vs animatronic Showbiz Pizza monsters sounds fool-proof yet Willy's Wonderland rides that one-note gimmick into the ground. Cashing in on the Five Nights at Freddy's craze, the short film The Hug, and the recent, R-rated The Banana Splits movie, the premise here comes off as pretty lazy to say the least. For his role as the Janitor, Cage manages to be incredibly Nic Cagey despite the fact that he has no spoken dialog, screaming a few times and having a random dance-off with himself. The over-the-top, bloody, (and oily), carnage is hilarious to a point, but also tedious and unengaging. Director Kevin Lewis indulges in lens flairs to a criminal extent and the story is too barren to have anywhere to go. This brings up the biggest faux pas which is that the plotting is utterly horrendous. The completely illogical and arbitrary way things progress from point A to point B and how virtually none of the characters are remotely developed enough to explain their moronic and conflicting behavior is way noticeable enough to damper the proceedings. For some viewers, it may get by on its knowing stupidity and Cage's subdued, yet still gonzo performance. As a competent bit of filmmaking though, it is rather a failure.
Dir - Devereux Milburn
Overall: MEH
Essentially an arthouse version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or pick your backwoods-weirdo-hillbilly-horror outing, Devereux Milburn's Honeydew can scarcely be seen as necessary. The presentation is strange before we ever get to our creepy, bible-quoting country bumpkins. Unorthodox sound design, out of focus cinematography, and split screens show up earlier than the opening credits, at which point we are introduced to an unlikable couple who are also the film's protagonists. While this is never a good sign in and of itself, things just get more uncomfortable and odd for the sake of odd from there. Milburn thankfully keeps things shy of going full torture porn at least, cutting away from things no one in the audience could possibly want to see. He still manages to pull off an impressive feat of making people eating cupcakes and drinking milk far more disgusting than most overt movie gore is. The film seems to be attempting a quirky and disturbing tone which it certainly achieves. The only question is who wants to watch something as ultimately unwholesome and narratively derivative to begin with?
Dir - Travis Stevens
Overall: MEH
Travis Stevens' follow-up to his effectively amusing and strange Girl on the Third Floor in Jakob's Wife finds him working with genre legends Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden with somewhat equally quirky results. While Crampton's resurgence on the scene in recent years has mostly been reserved to shameless throwback offerings and Fessenden will pretty much make an appearance in anything with the "horror" tag on it, it is nice to see them in something more singular and interesting. The film's themes of coming to terms with age, commitment, and complacency are refreshing and ideal for such veteran actors to sink into. That said, it is a bit of a flawed offering. Some of the performances are awkwardly weak, including the two lovable leads unfortunately. A lot of this has to do with the amateur-level dialog though. It is difficult to tell if it is supposed to be lame in a parody sense, but in any event, the humor falls flat as often as it connects. It is violently charming in parts and manages to be entertaining for horror buffs without being insultingly nostalgic, but it is a bit clumsy in its approach.
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