Dir - Takashi Shimizu
Overall: MEH
Takashi Shimizu delivers another flawed supernatural yarn, (or YAWN more accurately), with Suicide Forest Village, (Jukai Mura), which is his second of a to-date unrelated "Village Trilogy". The atmospherics are on point concerning ideas that are both idiot-proof and hackneyed, this time playing off of the inherently creepy concept of a mysterious/earthly box and a woodland setting where compasses go haywire, anyone venturing into them gets lost, and a weird enclave of sacrificial structures is made out of the trees themselves. There is plenty to work with here and Shimizu is a veteran in his field so that he can effortlessly deliver a handful of sinister set pieces that may not have any logical footing, but they are effective enough for popcorn-munching purposes, plus the digital effects are agreeable for a change. Regrettably though, just as many would-be spooky bits instead come off as comedic, including two laugh-out-loud moments where characters walk into the foreground of a shot only to get spontaneously decked by something to death. The biggest issue is the almost two-hour running time which regularly drags, introducing unnecessary characters and seemingly taking forever to wrap up a mystery that is hardly memorable in the first place.
Dir - Edoardo Vitaletti
Overall: MEH
A period-set debut from Edoardo Vitaletti that is plagued by cumbersome dialog and a languid pace, The Last Thing Mary Saw hints at a more profound ambition than it delivers. Set in 1843 New York and concerning a religiously repressive household whose daughter and housekeeper conduct an open romantic relationship with each other, the narrative unfolds in flashback as we learn details that are conveyed in a murky fashion. The prohibited couple are punished to relay bible verses while kneeling on wooden planks for excessive amounts of time, yet they always seem to go right back to their fling once such a torturous ordeal is over. Once the patriarch, (played by the unmistakably creepy character actor Judith Roberts), drops dead due to poisoning and a young man with a slightly deformed face shows up, things take on a more predestined nature where the whole of the events seem to have been prophesied in a book that is just as mysterious as the entire presentation. Heavy on oppressive, downtrodden atmosphere that affords zero humor at any instance, everyone speaks their pretentious dialog in a timely dialect that makes it even more laborious to follow, which is embellished further by the miserable tone and eventual outcome.
Overall: MEH
A period-set debut from Edoardo Vitaletti that is plagued by cumbersome dialog and a languid pace, The Last Thing Mary Saw hints at a more profound ambition than it delivers. Set in 1843 New York and concerning a religiously repressive household whose daughter and housekeeper conduct an open romantic relationship with each other, the narrative unfolds in flashback as we learn details that are conveyed in a murky fashion. The prohibited couple are punished to relay bible verses while kneeling on wooden planks for excessive amounts of time, yet they always seem to go right back to their fling once such a torturous ordeal is over. Once the patriarch, (played by the unmistakably creepy character actor Judith Roberts), drops dead due to poisoning and a young man with a slightly deformed face shows up, things take on a more predestined nature where the whole of the events seem to have been prophesied in a book that is just as mysterious as the entire presentation. Heavy on oppressive, downtrodden atmosphere that affords zero humor at any instance, everyone speaks their pretentious dialog in a timely dialect that makes it even more laborious to follow, which is embellished further by the miserable tone and eventual outcome.
(2021)
Dir - Glenn Danzig
Overall: WOOF
Proving that his asinine debut Verotika was no fluke, Glenn Danzig returns with Death Rider in the House of Vampires; another embarrassing bit of celluloid that bypasses one or two particular shortcomings of the blues metal crooner-turned horror schlock filmmaker, while emphasizing others. Scoring actual actors this time instead of just gas station attendants and pornographic performers, (plus pulling off some Mario Bava-esque lighting both indoors and out in the desert), it is at least an "improvement" on paper, but everywhere else, this is an even more head-scratchingly incompetent experience than its predecessor. Things kick off with a topless woman with gigantic fake boobs in shiny hotpants on a horse, (mind you this takes place in the Old West, presumably the 19th century), all to the tune of an original, Spaghetti Western styled song from Danzig himself that sets the appropriate juvenile, mysterious gunslinger mood. After that though, (including the opening credits), the former Misfits frontman forgets to add any incidental music or proper ambience. With his steadfast inability to yell "Cut!" at acceptable intervals, it results in a horrendously sluggish experience that reeks of laughable ineptitude. The dialog is more dull and cliche ridden than unintentionally funny, but watching the likes of Devon Sawa and Julian Sands painfully try and save face while Danzig utilizes every last millisecond of footage of them is something that just makes you feel bad for everyone involved. There is still plenty to laugh at though if one can steer off their boredom, but for round two, Danzig's cluelessness from behind the lens has grown more concerning than enjoyable.
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