Friday, June 21, 2024

2024 Horror Part Two

ARCADIAN
Dir - Benjamin Brewer
Overall: MEH
 
Director Benjamin Brewer, producer/writer Michael Nilon, and star Nicolas Cage all lock horns again with the post-apocalyptic snore-fest Arcadian; an international co-production that takes a cold and lazy approach to tired concepts that it barely bothers to explore.  There are problems here from top-to-bottom, first of all with an uninspired story about families who have learned to meagerly survive the end of civilization against freakish creatures that burrow underground and bang on doors.  Said monsters look as realistic as Who Framed Roger Rabbit? cartoons,(terribly), digitally rendered to the point of unintended hysterics.  Not that you get too many clear looks at them in the first place since Frank Mobilio's exclusively hand-held cinematography gives everything a murky aesthetic that is as ugly as it is tiring to decipher.  Also, none of the characters are properly fleshed-out so that their harrowing plot falls on deaf ears as things escalate, plus their dialog is sappy and embarrassing.  Cage is more restrained than usual even if he disappears for the entire second act, but this is a case where some of his patented, gonzo scenery-chewing could have actually given the movie a much-needed adrenaline shot.
 
HUMANE
Dir - Caitlin Cronenberg
Overall: MEH
 
The first full-length Humane from Caitlin Cronenberg is a different beast than the famed body horror output of her father David or her brother Brandon's similarly-veined psychological outings.  Instead, it is a Purge-style black comedy that misses its mark, which is not surprising due to its implausible plot development that skews plenty of divisive political paranoia to ridiculous lengths.  Depending on the tinfoil hat-wearing willingness of the viewer, the ideas that writer/producer Michael Sparaga's script offers up may in fact seem frighteningly plausible.  Yet it still comes off as silly that a large enough number of the populous would willingly euthanize themselves for a government payout due to overpopulation and environmental concerns.  Equally far-fetched is the immediately violent way that a family of one-percenters behaves when forced to get one of themselves on the chopping block, which is when the film's more humorous elements tiptoe into possible unintentionally funny terrain.  Unfortunately, Caitlin Cronenberg lacks the visual storytelling expertise of her own family members, merely shooting her chaotic thriller in a competent though formulaic fashion.  It is not a total disaster, with some solid performances to appreciate if one can forgive the fact that they all play unlikable characters, as well as turning a blind eye to the narrative shortcomings and pedestrian presentation.
 
STING
Dir - Kiah Roache-Turner
Overall: MEH
 
It has been a minute since we got a killer spider movie with some buzz, but regrettably, the one that we are presented with here in Sting is a tonal mess of a schlock fest.  An Australian/American co-production that was shot in the former country, writer/director Kiah Roache-Turner is channeling the type of monster B-movie juice found in Arachnophobia and Tremors, but he infuses it with lame-brained humor and a sappy story-line.  This is a common faux pas with many a horror film that makes the goofy parts too goofy and the serious parts too serious, trying to ride that thin line without committing enough to either side in order to make them work.  Everyone on screen here is giving it their all, (even if comedian Jermaine Fowler is unfortunately hired as the stereotypical "funny black guy" and is more eyeball-rollingly cliched than amusing), but watching a struggling dad and his troubled stepdaughter come to emotionally devastating blows with each other while a senile grandma keeps forgetting that she called the exterminators already just makes for confused final product.  Thankfully, there are some wonderful and icky practical effects work, but the cartoony shots of the title arachnid in its small-scale form are as embarrassing as any CGI out there.

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