Well this was fun. Rounding out my obsession with singers of all kinds, I already brought you the one-hundred and twenty best there is in two different lists. So now it is only fair that I rank the absolute worst. The bottom of the barrel. The shittiest of the shit. At least to my ears.
Talking trash about people in many ways is easier than kissing their ass. So in that regard, the words here just came naturally. Most of these entries make terrible music, but a few are not in the worst bands of all time so much as they just stink up the joint something fierce with their "singing". I have chosen not to include a link for each entry this time, since why would I want do that to you fine people? I did tackle google images to get the pictures I needed though, so don't anyone say that I did not suffer for my words.
There is plenty wrong with this dunce cap. He rarely wrote anything in Oasis and when he did, it was not until several albums in. Probably because Noel Gallagher was so much better and smart enough to not let his brother have a go. So basically, Liam's only job was to try and fuck up his brother's songs with his whinny, droning, wanker voice. The fact that Liam has always looked like the biggest douchebag you will ever seen just makes it worse I guess. I love Oasis, I just cannot understand why the hell this guy was along for the ride to begin with.
Speaking of band-ruining, you have to include this doofus. Motley Crue actually is not that bad, but along with the Faster Pussycat "singer", Vince Neil has got to be the worst hair metal frontman there ever was. Not saying much I know since most of them suck as much as their bands, but they apparently cannot all be Paul Stanley behind the mic. Vince Neil really does have a shitty voice though, bad enough that I will probably never be as big of a Crue fan as I otherwise would be.
I cannot stand this prick. Besides never liking any of Def Leppard's hits, the main reason I still chose not to listen to them is because of Joe Elliott. Ask this guy any question and his answer will always be along the lines of "Yeah, Def Leppard is the greatest band ever". Not even close ass-whipe. Of course his vocals are dogshit, which makes his baffling arrogance all the more annoying.
I probably would not have bothered to give the guy in Office Space the time of day up until he recently thought he would milk the ironic hipster angle thing with those fucking Honda commercials. So good for Michael Bolton as he made some more money and now he is sort of relevant enough to remind us how much he still blows goats, (I have proof).
Yet another guy like Bolton who suffers from Dude-Seriously-Inside-Voice syndrome. Everything everybody says about Nickelback and their asshat frontman Chad Kroeger is rather justified. Obviously this band is terrible, but they actually do not ignite my rage like they do normal folk whose ears are not broken. For anyone who is a fan, Kroeger makes sure your ears bleed for what you pay for.
I was recently reminded of these two yahoos since Linkin Crap has been off my radar since, well, always. The handful of songs that I have heard from this band range from Jesus-Christ-Is-This-Bad to Unholy-Mother-of-Prick-Make-It-Stop. The combined diarrhea spewing of their two frontmen Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda pretty much make it so. Whinny, obnoxious crap.
Speaking of which, now onto this schmuck. Truth be told, ALL emo singers sound like Tom Delonge and ALL of them I cannot fucking stand. OK, the Fallout Boy guy got pretty good later on if he counts, but I know I am not alone here since there is a multitude of people who dismiss the entire genre based on the whinny, nasally, horse-shit vocals that seem to be a requirement. Very hard to argue with such dismissal.
You ever see that Hollywood Minute joke where David Spade had a picture of Milli Vannilli up and just said "These guys...no, that's too easy" and left it at that? This is kind of the deal with fred durst. I am not capitalizing his name twice. Limp Shitdick is easily in the higher running for the worst band in all of creation and the blame for that lies at least 112% on durst's jaw-droppingly awful vocals. As AMG brilliantly put it, "in fred durst, they have the worst frontman in the history of rock". Yes. Yes they do...
...but that still does not mean that there is not room for this guy. The matter here is rather, well, personal. First off, Dexter Holland has my last name so fuck him. Secondly, ALL of The Offspring's singles, hits, sharts, whatever you want to call them are the worst music I have ever heard. Thirdly though and most importantly is the fact that not nearly enough people out there hate this band as much as I believe they should. Everyone hates ICP, Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, as is natural. Yet how the sound of The Offspring does not immediately make people scream and leave the room just refuses to sit me well. I really cannot stand this guy's voice and I can honestly say that the band he is in remains my most hated ever.
Well, for once one of my lists might have an unexpected number one. I debated including Mayhem's returned vocalist Attila Csihar for the simple fact that he is the only extreme metal vocalist to appear here and well, the rules I made for my "100 Favorite Singers" list of not including such vocalists maybe still should have applied here. I was not prepared to do a top whatever worst extreme metal singers though so fuck it, this is where Attila belongs. He is...shit, the words escape me. Basically if you put someone with down-syndrome in front of a mic and told him to pretend to be a vampire and vomit, Attila's vocals are what you would get. More than anyone on this list, the fact that this guy has a gig is utterly mind boggling. Also, I seem to be rather alone in thinking this. Every metalhead friend that I have made over the years who is into Mayhem either simply tolerates this fuckwad or worse, actually digs him. I even know some of the drugs some of these friends of mine are taking and I still cannot excuse their defending. Attila is awful, unbearable, and just pure, confoundedly and unbearably awful.
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