(1980)
Dir - Sean S. Cunningham
Overall: MEH
Before Jason Voorhees became one of the ultimate, silent, mask-wearing, supernatural sociopaths in horror cinema and then murderized his victims in more and more comically ridiculous/violent ways, he was a mere victim as well as a jump twist in the remarkably unremarkable, Friday the 13th. Slasher films are boring and brimming with cliches by design; a design of which this initial entry into probably the sub-genres most endlessly exploited property proudly upholds to. Even in 1980, the dumb, predictable crap that goes on here was old-hat, but watching it AFTER more copycat movies you could ever dream of have emerged, it is a downright ludicrous viewing experience. This is most laughably apparent at the end when Mama Voorhees, (who up until then was able to flawlessly slaughter every other character like a perfect, unsuspecting ninja), becomes Mama Exposition and for no reason tosses all of her cunning to the wind, getting easily bested by the final girl who keeps knocking her out while said final girl runs away without finishing the job. The most surprising aspect is not how straight-forward and comparatively less gory Friday the 13th is per se, but how very, very dull it is. Sean S. Cunningham makes the common mistake of sucking all of the tension out of most of his scenes by letting the camera linger too long, but Victor Miller's script is so null that there is barely enough to even work with in the first place.
(1984)
Dir - Douglas Cheek
Overall: MEH
An argument can be made that television documentary editor Douglas Cheek's only directorial effort C.H.U.D. takes its subject matter too seriously to work. The monsters look rather ridiculous and there is actually one scene where an actor has effectively creepy make-up on before going full cannibal sewer dweller that makes for a far more striking visual than the cheap, alien-eyed puppet goblins used elsewhere. Not that you see many of them to begin with. C.H.U.D. is a huge offender of the ole "taking way too long" mistake that some slow boil horror films attempt. The movie is staggeringly boring and only after about an hour in do we actually get a minimal amount of monster mash mayhem. The script is uninteresting at best and a disaster at worst, with main characters that are utterly pointless to the story getting liberal screen time while the rest of them just bitch and argue with each other. The ending is enormously poor and seems to have bypassed completely the whole killing off the creatures goal and instead bafflingly makes a the final showstopper a confrontation between a cliched, corrupt, evil jackass government agency villain. Other plot points go nowhere while even more seemed rushed and it all makes for a frustrating and lame experience anyway you slice it.
(1987)
Dir - Tibor Takács
Overall: MEH
This innocent little American/Canadian production, (directed by Hungarian Tibor Takács, who would go on to also helm the sequel three years later), is one of many in the long line of "gates of hell" unleashing horror films. It is also a bit more whimsical in nature, comparatively tame on violence, and mostly resembling a later Goosebumps episode except probably even less scary than even those. The script from future television director Michael Nankin does not try too hard in establishing many rules. The ones it does bring up are not strictly followed anyway. While this makes the movie a bit clunky in parts, (particularly near the end), it is never that much of a problem, what with the serious yet mild tone kept consistent. The stop-motion special effects from Randall William Cook, (Lord of the Rings trilogy), are certainly dated, but they compliment a movie about twelve-year olds fighting off tiny, adorable little demons with bottle rockets just fine. The Gate ultimately does not take enough chances with its material and though it does not insult one's intelligence or even waste one's time, its vanilla flavor still does not necessarily warrant too high of a recommendation.
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