(1990)
Dir - Richard Stanley
Overall: MEH
The full-length debut from South African filmmaker Richard Stanley, (who a few short years later would be fired from the hilariously ill-fated The Island of Dr. Moreau remake after a mere week in), was the post-apocalyptic cyber punk offering Hardware. Stanley and co were successfully sued by Fleetway Comics whose 1980 short story "SHOK!" the movie's screenplay heavily lifts from, but equal comparisons can be made to Terminator and Blade Runner as well. While the budget is sufficient enough to make for an all round excellent production design and there are some fun cameos by rock stars, (Lemmy, Fields of the Nephilim frontman Carl McCoy, plus the voice of Iggy Pop as a radio DJ), the movie becomes muddled at parts and unintentionally schlocky throughout. The big bad, impossible-to-kill robot-monster does not arrive until halfway through and once it does, it becomes comically annoying how many times characters scream at it in slow motion while throwing bullets and fire at it until it still does not die. Before that, there is a greater emphasis on exploring the themes of a society where mankind has damaged the earth to such a degree that humans themselves have been cut off from their own benevolent emotions and a machine take-over seems literally biblical in nature. The fact that the film is too formulaic and a bit dated in some parts while trying to be profound in others, equipped with the problematic plotting, all makes it a flawed if not all together unintelligent offering.
(1992)
Dir - Stephen Volk
Overall: GOOD
Closing out the forth season of the BBC's Session One television series was this deliberate ode to Orson Welle's War of the Worlds radio broadcast, Ghostwatch. Airing on Halloween night and presented as a live documentary featuring actual BBC newscasters playing themselves, the initial airing caused a notable panic and a bombardment of phone calls to storm the BBC's circuit board, though each caller was assured via a recording that it was indeed all fictional. It was still enough to convince many that what they saw was legit, even if it is clearly just a somewhat dated mocumentary upon viewing it today, be it an exceptionally well done one. Outside of how much care and detail went into it as a prank, what is more impressive is the wealth of supernatural Easter eggs scattered about, giving it a high repeated viewing quality that also helps strengthen its believably. The fact that it becomes increasingly unnerving and pretty chilling in the process is also a huge saving grace. It is a bit imperfect in how some of the performances may be trying a little too hard and it takes a long time to really start getting interesting, but the moments that work are aplenty. Many of the "found footage" cliches owe a solid debt to what Ghostwatch unleashed, (be that a good or bad thing), and it is easily one of the better examples of the sub-genre out there.
(1994)
Dir - Simon Sprackling
Overall: WOOF
Here is something that is not only contestable as the worst movie Christopher Lee was ever in, but also one of the worst movie ever made. The fact that all of the things do not work in Simon Sprackling's concerningly awful Funny Man is a mere yet accurate generalization of how unpleasant of a viewing experience it is. Made a year after Leprechaun and in an era where killer clowns and/or wise cracking title villains were becoming a thing, the attempt made here could be seen as the poster boy for everything that can go horribly awry with such a concept. There is not a single "joke" that is anywhere near funny and worse yet, the embarrassing attempts at humor are incredibly incessant. As the Funny Man himself, Tim James breaks the forth wall and falls completely flat on his face in nearly every frame, meanwhile a host of characters even more cartoonishly one-note than him die in the laziest of ways until the ending presents everything as who knows what when a mystery was barely hinted at before. The sets and concept are surely elaborate, but under such over the top, massively unfunny, and head-scratchingly obnoxious circumstances, it cannot even be seen as an oddity worth viewing for curiositie's sake. More like something to sit through at gun point.
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