(2001)
Overall: MEH
After three decades behind the lens at this point in his career, Dario Argento proves that he can crank out another by-the-books giallo in his sleep with the therefor appropriately titled Sleepless, (Non ho sonno). The completely retreaded nature of the film could be seen as an equally good or not so good thing depending on the viewer, as the exact same elements that make it satisfying are the same ones that make it dull. Inviting Max von Sydow to participate brings a distinguished credibility to the proceedings as he turns in a typically solid, straight performance, this time as a retired police detective compelled back to investigate a violent killing spree involving dwarfism and nursery rhymes because Italian giallo movies are silly. Argento puts on the black gloves again, slices and dices several victims, (most of whom are women of course), and throws red herrings at the audience until almost the last possible moment before the credits roll. Everything in its right, ultra-violent place for fans of everything in its right, ultra-violent place. For everyone else though, the structure is so predictable that it could even be seen as parody. Also, the filmmaker's trademark flash only crops up in small doses and it all plays out more underwhelming than not.
(2004)
Overall: MEH
Premise wise, Dario Argento's sixteenth feature The Card Player, (Ilcartaio), breaks up the formula sufficiency of merely another killer with black gloves and some kind of sexually traumatic past who stalks a bystander protagonist that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The gimmick here of an online poker player daring the cops to beat him at standard, five-card draw unless he mutilates and murders his victims on camera is a sufficiently disturbing one that gets introduced during the very first scene. Unfortunately, the movie does not really have anywhere to go after establishing the stakes, meandering a bit until about the last half-hour when the inevitable, unsatisfying, and very silly twist reveal starts to kick into gear. There is still the usual, unnaturally funny dialog, the expected amount of sadism, and a couple of preposterous kills, but even with a hip, techno soundtrack in tow to try and contemporize it, Argento certainly seems to be on autopilot as far as the presentation is concerned. It is all visually competent, just with hardly any pizzazz, coming off like a stripped down version of the filmmaker's more ambitiously outrageous output that made him a legend in his field.
(2005)
Overall: MEH
For whatever reason, Dario Argento found himself making a block of made-for-television films in the mid-2000s, beginning with Do You Like Hitchcock?, (Ti piace Hitchcock). Similar to his Masters of Horror entries only in the fact that it delivers the unintended chuckles, this is otherwise a standard giallo that, (as the title would suggest), deliberately pays homage to the filmmaker that Argento has been classified as the Italian version of throughout his career. Strangers on a Train, Rear Window, and Dial M for Murder are directly referenced where a voyeuristic college student spies on his sexy neighbor and after her mother is brutally murdered, naturally suspects that a cockamamie scheme is underfoot that has everything to do with Alfred Hitchcock's film repertoire that most of the characters seem to have an equal admiration for as they routinely rent them from a local video store. Elio Germano's protagonist studies both German Expressionism and early Russian silent cinema so footage from Der Golem, Nosferatu, and Man with the Movie Camera also make an appearance to further tickle the movie nerd that is watching. Largely stagnant in the plotting, the usual hallmarks are in place like Argento having no idea how normal people actually talk so that everyone on screen comes off as a stupid asshole. Most of the set pieces seem to be nothing more than the first haphazard idea that came to him, with a wet, awkward motor scooter sequence in particular being a goofy highlight.
(2007)
Overall: MEH
By the time that Dario Argento got around to wrapping up his Three Mothers Trilogy, his steadily declining cinematic output had established two stylistic modes that were becoming slightly more exclusive from each other. One was the textbook, giallo-by-numbers which largely dominated his filmography, but the other more interesting and arguably far more terrible one was the bombastic supernatural yarn, which is the category that Mother of Tears, (La Terza madre), falls into. On paper, the "good" stuff is all there; daughter Asia in the lead, her mother/Argento's one-time collaborator Daria Nicolodi making a cameo along with Udo Kier, a story focusing on the most terrifying and nasty of the witch sisters, and easily the most jaw-dropping "Jesus fucking Christ, guy" levels of gore in any of the Italian Hitchcock's movies. A diabolical treat to be sure, but man is the result laugh-out-loud stupid. Whatever flashy camera work and gorgeously designed visuals that Argento indulged in back in his heyday are long gone and in their place are horrendous special effects and dull looking sets. The story derails into illogical absurdity almost right from the get go and it escalates madly to the point where uncontrollable laughter is the only possible response from any audience member. It is a fascinating failure that goes full-tilt, stumbles hilariously, and ends up quite memorable for, (mostly), the wrong reasons.
(2009)
Overall: MEH
After a quick detour into supernatural terrain with 2007's ridiculous trainwreck Mother of Tears, Dario Argento settled right back into his comfort zone on Giallo; the first movie to actually be titled after the Italian sub-genre that the filmmaker has long been synonymous with. This was a troubled production for Argento though as his daughter Asia and potential lead Vincent Gallo dropped out after the two's engagement went kaput, followed by producer interference and then Adrien Brody having to file a lawsuit in order to actually get paid for his work on the project. The result is not as mangled and unintentionally nonsensical as much of the filmmaker's later output, which is probably due to the fact that the script was initially penned by Sean Keller and Jim Agne, both of whom have a comparatively "better" understanding than Argento does of the way that logical behavior dictates our day to day lives. The trade off unfortunately is that the story is pretty dull, even though Brody delivers a half over-the-top/half reserved, dual performance that is far better than material such as this should ever deserve.
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