(2000)
Dir - George A. Romero
Overall: MEH
The last cinematic effort from George A. Romero before he finished out his career with the terrible, second Dead trilogy, Bruiser unfortunately proved that there was already not much creative gas left in the once legendary filmmaker's tank. A French produced/Toronto shot yuppie slasher movie that is substantially heavy on the camp, Romero's penchant for social commentary is a bit vague in such an office politics/revenge setting where an unassuming creative director for a magazine "stands up for himself" and offs several acquaintances who cheated him out of either money, life, or both. He also wakes up with a blank mask stuck to his face in representing his "invisibility" to his peers, because horror movies. It is certainly no mistake that most of Jason Flemyng's victims are exaggerated caricatures of greedy scumbags, exemplified in the least subtle way possible by Peter Stormare's preposterous performance as the eccentric, cocaine-guzzling, misogynistic, one-none, millionaire boss villain. The movie is probably worth it for Stormare's scenery-gorging alone, as well as Tom Atkins playing of course a police detective and The Misfits randomly joining the party. Elsewhere though, this is pretty forgettable, B-grade stuff that seems to be trying too hard to be clever, humorous, and mildly shocking without persistently landing any of the above.
(2001)
Dir - Christophe Gans
Overall: MEH
The schlock-fueled, historical, two and a half hour, martial arts action horror movie that nobody asked for Brotherhood of the Wolf, (Le Pacte des loups), is far from an all-out mess, but it is unmistakably over-bloated. Taking the "Beast of Gévaudan" fable for loose inspiration, French co-writer/director Christophe Gans creates something quite epic in not just length, but cinematic scope. It is an impressive production to be sure with a hefty budget that lends itself to bombastic fight sequences, grandiose music, and detailed set and costume design. Some practical effects by Jim Henson's Creature Shop are appreciated, but the CGI is much more prominent in several scenes and is absolutely appalling. The much bigger issue though is the bloated running time. There simply is not nearly enough story here to be stretched to such ridiculous proportions and the intimidating, monstrous wolf-beast that the characters arrive in the beginning to hunt down is not even teased on screen until a full hour in. The very thin plot development between characters before that is not only largely unnecessary for the considerable amount of time still left, but also meandering and boring. Gans tries to overcompensate for the lack of narrative material with a flashy, quickly edited pace and lots of laughably campy set pieces, but it sure is just a lot of genre mishmash window dressing in the end.
(2007)
Dir - Paddy Breathnach
Overall: WOOF
Tonal problems, cliches, a messy narrative, and characters that are unlikable, stupid, and obnoxious all run rampant in Shrooms. An international co-production between Ireland, Denmark, and the UK from Irish director Paddy Breathnach, the schlock factor seems to be more unintentionally funny than deliberately in place. The concept of a couple of college kids vacationing in the remote woods so they can partake of nature's favorite hallucinogen brings forth the usual crop of one-note, bickering, douchebag protagonists whose behavior is anything but natural and often just plain idiotic. Worsening matters is the backdrop of a creepy orphanage, deranged woodsmen, cell phones being taken away, and a dirty, supernatural figure in a black hood just to further cover the bases of derivative crap to play with. Oh, and there is a twist ending because, duh. Presentation wise, Breathnach limits himself only to every genre trope that has overstayed their welcome, constantly bouncing between loud soundtrack cues and quietness, vaguely unsettling images, an overly filtered color pallet, etc. The premise of people violently tripping balls in the middle of nowhere does rather lend itself to some of these tactics, but there is just too much conflicting, tired nonsense mucking everything up.
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