Friday, July 21, 2023

Gamera Shōwa Era Part Two

GAMERA VS. GUIRON
(1969)
Dir - Noriaki Yuasa
Overall: WOOF

Lazy, redundant, obnoxious, stupid, and above all else catastrophically boring, the firth Gamera film Gamera vs. Guiron, (Gamera tai Daiakujū Giron, Gamera vs. Giant Evil Beast Guiron, Attack of the Monsters), continues the downhill trajectory for the series, a series which was already lame-brained at its "best".  When two dumb-ass kids accidentally launch a UFO and fly around in outer space, followed by their sister informing her mother of this and merely being told to stop imagining things and just do good in school so she can get a swell job as an adult, (all within the first eighteen minutes), you know exactly what kind of dopey, child-friendly schlock that you are in for.  The problem is that Niisan Takahashi's script is so uninspired that it insults both grown-ups and children alike who are unfortunate enough to sit through such drivel.  The smaller budget from Daiei does not help either as it reuses previous monster footage from earlier installments and focuses more than ever on the kid's point of view in a fittingly ridiculous, quasi-Hansel and Gretel plot where another group of humanoid aliens in absurd costumes now want to eat people for reasons.  Rest assured though, it still finds time to shoehorn in pointless sequences of scientists in lab coats as well.

GAMERA VS. JIGER
(1970)
Dir - Noriaki Yuasa
Overall: MEH
 
More of the same for round six in the Gamera series, Gamera vs. Jiger, (Gamera tai Daimajū Jaigā, Gamera vs. Giant Devil Beast Jiger, Gamera vs. Monster X), sticks to earth this time instead of bothering with extraterrestrial forces.  It still has little kids sitting in on board meetings with scientists and military people, little kids who are also given dangerous tasks as part of the team in order to get their favorite over-sized, reptilian hero monster to take care of this year's baddie who was slumbering just fine beneath the earth until a stature on Wester Island was removed.  The story has enough bare-bones plot points to move things along, but it is all still made up of only slight variations of the same ole crap that is thrown into the mix time and time again, particularly for this kaiju franchise which is noticeably less inventive than Toho's Godzilla one by obvious comparison.  Speaking of comparison, this is a less insulting entry than others before it, yet what it makes up for with less obnoxious cuteness, (though there is still plenty of that), is a laborious structure whose suitmation sequences are as stock and boring as ever.  Gamera even sits out a significant portion of the latter half which gives inconsequential human characters the chance to study diagrams of his physiology, (and how did they get these diagrams in the first place you may ask?), further stalling an already redundant viewing experience.

GAMERA VS. ZIGRA
(1971)
Dir - Noriaki Yuasa
Overall: WOOF

Annoying grown-ups, annoying kids, and a giant, flying monster turtle all lock horns to defeat an alien race...again in Gamera vs. Zigara, (Gamera tai Shinkai Kaijū Jigura, Gamera vs. Deep-Sea Monster Zigra).  The sheer audacious redundancy of these movies is actually admirable after awhile, yet this was the entry that finally broke the camel's back after a new, barely distinguishable retread kept arriving year after year for the last six of them at this point.  This was due to Daiei Films going bankrupt shortly after the movie was finished and another installment would not arrive for almost a decade.  Serving as a saving grace then, the initial run was put out of its misery with a story that combines all of the previously used plot points...again.  Stupid little kids finding their way into dangerous situations involving outer space vehicles and underwater vessels?  Check.  An extraterrestrial force that craves world dominance? Check.  Said aliens having a giant monster of their own to put Gamera temporarily out of commission until the finale when the kids can help find the bad guy's weakness? Check.  Military meetings? Check.  Up-tempo music sung by children? Check.  So basically, you can watch all six of the previous movies at the same time and that technically counts as seeing this one too.

GAMERA: SUPER MONSTER
(1980)
Dir - Noriaki Yuasa
Overall: WOOF

One would think that nine years could wield markedly improved special effects in a tokusatsu movie, yet Daiei's ridiculous cash-grab Gamera: Super Monsters, (Uchū Kaijū Gamera, Space Monster Gamera), throws a monkey wrench in such an assumption.  The film's embarrassing reliance on stock footage, (including nearly every single shot of the title monster and all of his former, over-sized adversaries), makes sense considering that this was quickly thrown together to generate some easy revenue for the studio who was once again undergoing financial hardships.  Even more baffling and hilarious is the use of footage from Space Battleship Yamato and Galaxy Express 999, meaning that yes, flying suitmation mixes with cartoons in as jarring of a manner as you would think.  Story wise, (you guessed it), we have another alien takeover plot, but at least only one annoying kid is at the center of things instead of a pair or gang of them, plus the added ingredient of a female superhero team, (because Japan), is something that the series never bothered taking enough drugs to come up with before.  Visually, the movie is a bona fide trainwreck of horrendously dated effects work that should be downright unacceptable as this was released in a post-Star Wars landscape.  Of course all of the film's multitude of flaws is exactly what makes it appealing for terrible movie fans, but make no mistake; a terrible movie this here certainly be.

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