70's American Horror Part Forty-One

HEX

(1973)

Dir - Leo Garen

Overall: MEH

 

Fusing together horror, Westerns, and the counter-culture biker film, Hex is unfortunately far less of a memorable ride than it sounds like on paper.  The only theatrically released movie in the minuscule filmography of director/co-writer Leo Garen, it has some tonal issues aside from the hodgepodge of primary genres that it attempts to replicate.  Quirky hillbilly music plays throughout various scenes, (some of which do not even seem to be comedic), and a liberal amount of freeze-frames and fades give it a TV movie feel that does not properly convey a rustic, mystical atmosphere.  The pacing quickly hits a brick wall when a rag-tag group of motorcyclists hold up with two half-Native American women whose recently deceased father was a shaman, at which point everyone cannot decide whether to persistently hate, fight, shoot, flirt, rape, or perform weird magic stare-offs with each other.  Said biker gang are also too dim-witted to immediately hit the road after their members either disappear or die, instead wasting the audience's time by repeatedly proclaiming that they are going to "clear out in the morning".  Early, yee-haw-tinged performances are featured from Keith Carradine, Scott Glenn, and Gary Busey, with Cristina Raines turning in a frustrating one as the stubbornly stoic and eldest of the curse-wielding daughters.

CURSE OF THE BLACK WIDOW

(1977)

Dir - Dan Curtis

Overall: MEH

Sticking well within his comfort zone, Curse of the Black Widow, (Love Trap), is a cousin film of sorts to Dan Curtis' Kolchak: The Night Stalker series and proceeding television ABC Movie of the Weeks.  Tony Franciosa steps in for Darren McGavin, channeling his inner Tony Curtis as a private investigator who grows frustrated with the police's insistence on keeping an unbelievable chain of events from the public.  Besides the fact that Franciosa is not a newspaper reporter with a light blue suite and silly straw hat who trades hilarious, volatile quips with his editor, this is essentially the same story as every Night Stalker episode and easily could have fit into that show's season-long run if only it was green-lit a few years earlier.  Sadly though, hinging an entire plot on the mystery of which of two sisters turn into a brunette with a foreign accent who is also a giant spider makes for an incredibly lackluster viewing experience.  Way too much talky and way too little spidery, the movie plays out with characters gradually and ergo boringly trying to uncover what is going on, with the giant monster unveil not coming until well within the last eight or so minutes.  While the deadly, over-sized arachnid looks fairly decent considering the modest, TV budget, the rest of the proceedings do not have nearly enough wit, suspense, or virtually any excitement whatsoever to latch onto.

 

SAVAGE WEEKEND

(1979)

Dir - David Paulsen

Overall: WOOF

Shot in three weeks on a budget of $58,000, David Paulsen's abysmal Savage Weekend, (The Killer Behind the Mask), was his first of only two directorial full-lengths and the world is certainly a better place that he did not make a third.  Notable for some barely gruesome murder sequences, (nearly all of which occur after almost an hour in), and for being filmed in 1976 and therefor serving as a precursor to the 80s slasher film which it is very similarly structured as, Paulsen makes a number of horrendous choices in the final result.  Granted, much of this can be attributed to both the filmmaker's inexperience and the lack of funds that he had to work with, but sympathy alone for his cinematic struggles cannot justify it as a worthwhile viewing experience.  For one, there are too many characters who are all either unlikable or so boring that you can barely remember who they even are when they show up again.  Considering that one of them is a dim-witted, sadistic country bumpkin, another a short-tempered ex-husband, and another still an aggressively flamboyant gay man who also might be the biggest asshole of the bunch, good luck giving a shit what happens to any of them.  Then take into account that the story itself is uninteresting enough to be incomprehensible at times and with all of the other either amateurish or sleazy aspects in place, the whole thing is just aggressively comatose-inducing.