100 Favorite Metal Songs - Part Two

80. King of All Kings - Hate Eternal

My introduction to Hate Eternal came with the 250 bpm blast fest title track from their second album King of All Kings.  It was the first to feature Derek "One Take" Roddy on drums and boy does he make his presence known.  Roddy never slows down and makes a seriously impressive show to accurately place him at the top of all extreme metal drummers.  Production wise, this and pretty much every Hate Eternal album suffer from various problems, mostly the guitars being buried and the bass getting the Jason Newsted ...And Justice for All treatment.  But if you looked up the word "brutality" in the dictionary, at least one of the explanations should simply say "King of All Kings".

79. Phobophile - Cryptopsy

Canada's one-time mighty torch bearers of technical death metal Cryptopsy has one album that no one will argue isn't their masterpiece, of course meaning None So Vile.  When Lord Worm returned to the fold before they recorded the also excellent Once Was Not in 2005, they did an entire tour playing Vile from front to back.  Thankfully I saw this btw.  "Phobophile" is probably Cryotopsy's signature tune and is iconic enough to be the only death metal song I'm aware of to have a Lego music video treatment, (see link above).  A brief, creepy piano intro slowly oozes into the main riff played solely on bass before all tech breaks loose and Flo Mounier drum solos all over the riffs.  It's a gasm of greatness.

78. Carnage - Mayhem

"Carnage" has had quite an odd history.  It first appeared on the Mayhem demo Pure Fucking Armageddon, but this version is totally unlistenable.  Then it showed up on Live at Leipzig and as the b-side to the "Freezing Moon" single.  Both of these versions featured the band's most notorious frontman Dead (Per Yngve Ohlin) and were released posthumously after his suicide.  It then made the rounds on every live album since and probably hasn't NOT been played live since ever in the band's history.  The lyrics to "Carnage" are pure poetry, pretty much what would happen if you asked a third-grader to write down every ugly and evil word they could think of and then just screamed them over riffs of pure awesome.

77. Shackled To Guilt - Anata

Swedish tech metalers Anata haven't released an album since 2006, (even though they apparently tried as recent as 2013, but Earache sadly dropped the budget before mixing began).  And though I wasn't that wild about their apparent swan song The Conductor's Departure, 2004's Under A Stone with No Inscription on the other hand made me feel all fuzzy inside.  Most all tech death to me is far too concerned with being tech and not at all interested in banging heads, but "Shackled To Guilt" is a rare example where the riffs are (gasp!) memorable.  All of them seem to be better than the last and at least one is somehow as hilarious as it is heavy.

76. Morgue Whore - Lord Gore

Speaking of haven't been around in ten years, Portland Oregon's relatively little known gore metal band Lord Gore only dropped two full lengths in two years before disbanding to get less gory real jobs.  First time I heard The Autophagous Orgy I had to laugh both at the cartoonishly gargly vocals and the fact that every song on it starts with a sample.  Mmm...Mortician.  But low and behold, the songs on Orgy are neck-breakingly stupid and heavy.  Two words I often like where metal is concerned.  "Morgue Whore" is, (you guessed it), about fucking a corpse and a line like "Her bowels now empty on the filthy floor and I come inside my morgue whore" are just as hilarious as the riffs accompanying them are wicked awesome.

75. Black Seeds of Vengeance - Nile

Derek Roddy back again on easily one of the most pummeling death metal albums ever made, Nile's sophomore effort Black Seeds of Vengeance.  Much Nile is still on the way on this list, (they actually have the most songs from any band on here which kinda surprised me), but I once saw Dallas Toler-Wade announce this one live as being a song that no Nile show is complete without.  I certainly didn't yell "bullshit" at him.  Probably "take it off" instead.  Once again though, Roddy slows down not at all.  Even during the fantastic, chanting breakdown finale, the feet are still cruising.  One could easily argue that this is Nile's best song and album.

74.  Snaggletooth - Motorhead

I kinda had same the dilemma I had with Black Sabbath as I did for Motorhead when it came to deciding when to count them as a metal band for this list.  "Ace of Spades" perhaps should've been the oldest song I included as it, predictable or not, rightfully is considered Lemmy and Co's "Stairway To Heaven".  But I decided not to include anything from 1980 for who knows what reason and instead thankfully remembered "Snaggletooth".  Motorhead probably has or never will be heavier than they are on the song they penned about their mascot.  It was one of the "new" songs on the compilation No Remorse and I have loved it since I first heard it probably sixteen or so years ago.  Hard to hate Motorhead and this song makes a gnarly case for that.

73.  Lament of a Mortal Soul - Arch Enemy

Somehow I remember hearing "Lament of a Mortal Soul" before I had heard anything else from Arch Enemy, yet I can't put together the puzzle of how this could be.  I picked up Wages of Sin after hearing the band's name here and there and probably something about them having a chic screamer in their ranks.  Also you can't really be a metalhead and not know who Mike Amott is so I'm sure that had something to do with it.  Wages is this band's best album by lots and lots, yet somehow "Lament" was released on I think every version of it yet oddly dubbed a "bonus track".  Whatever the dick that's about.  The opening riff to this song is a motherfucker as is the ridiculously balls tight chunk-to-kick drum one that shows up twice.

72.  Higher Coward - Immolation

Hell death metal has no finer band than Immolation, (sorry Morbid Angel, but your last two letters blew children).  And New York's finest dropped their very best album Close to a World Below at the turn of the century which opened with "Higher Coward".  "Didn't you say...Jesus was coming?" leads right into an assault of all over the place, tom heavy drumming and "Guh?" riffage, all with Ross Dolan's outstanding cookie monster blasphemy on top of it all.  It all sounds like evil and chaos fucking each other and it all sounds so very right.  Ultimately at the 2:45 mark, "Coward" cranks into one of the sickest and oddest breakdown riffs of all time.  It all proves that sometimes hating heaven and loving to headbang are the same thing.

71.  Disciple - Slayer

God Hates Us All ended up being the last descent Slayer album says me even though most people I know pretty much only dig "Disciple" off of it.  But good Satan, how could you not?  This is easily one of the best Slayer songs and just like literally every one of the best Slayer songs, the late Jeff Hanneman wrote it solo.  Well Kerry King did the lyrics but wah wah I don't like religion, who cares.  This was the first Slayer album I bought when it came out, though not the exact day since like the rest of you, I was rather preoccupied on 9/11.  This was also the only Paul Bustaph era song they played live with Dave Lombardo back in the band and it's obvious why.  It was an instant classic then and now.

70.  Kill the Bitch - Maggot Twat

Besides The Morons Who Ruined Heavy Metal DVD, "Kill the Bitch" and it's accompanying music video were my very first exposure to one of the greatest bands of all time, The Starland Vocal Ba...oh wait, I mean Maggot Twat of course.  This song was all I needed to hear and long before I finally got my lazy ass out to actually see them live, I loved these guys like I love donuts.  Meaning I can have them and just them every day of my life and be plenty happy.  Just like we aspire to be in my death metal band Gorphanage, the Twat is a comedy act that just so happens to be retardedly heavy.  The riffs here are whammy madness and any song with the lyric "Remember that one time I made you fuck that horse?  I put the tape inside a box and left it on your parents porch!" is worth your time.

69.  Episode 666 - In Flames

In Flames has been active for years though I stopped after 1997's undoubted masterpiece Whoracle.  And it wasn't just because said album was a highwater mark for Swedish melodic death metal that can't be topped, (unless you're At the Gates), but it was actually in fact because this band got boring as all get out immediately afterwards.  Shame.  "Episode 666" is my In Flames inclusion here basically because of the moment that happens at the 1:40 mark which may be the greatest breakdown in all of metal.  I'll probably say that again at several points here after, but these words beith true.  This whole album as well as The Jester Race are perfect though.  It's just the other eight that came after it that stroke.

68.  She Never Noticed Me - Vehemence 

Phoenix Arizona's Vehemence seemingly can't decide if they're done for good or not.  2005 brought the end to them after the astounding Helping the World To See album, which was only their third overall.  Then in 2007 they released a new song on myspace.  Then nothing until this year when apparently a new album is either out or coming out any day now.  So color me confused.  "She Never Noticed Me" stems from God Was Created which my old guitar player randomly caught wind of and played for me.  I've always wondered why these guys never gained higher ground than they did as they're incredibly unique for a brutal death metal band who incorporates boatloads of melody and lush keyboards.

67.  Winds of Horus - Nile

Dallas Toler-Wade offers up a phenomenal stand-out with "Winds of Horus" off In Their Darkened Shrines, Nile's third masterpiece of an album in a row.  This guy really should write a lot more in this band.  "Horus" begins all Egyptian creepy but quickly kicks into arguably the best Nile riff of all time.  And in typical fashion, it's fast as balls.  Drummer powerhouse Tony Laureano makes his only appearance on a Nile album here and if every other drummer they've had wasn't AS if not MORE incredible, this would be a sad thing.  Far as I know, this song never got the live treatment and is just humbly hiding as an album only track.  Guess they still feel the need to play stuff off their current albums.  The nerve.

66.  Christ Denied - Deicide

I think most death metal purists could all pick a different album that represents Scott Burns at the peak of his production prowess and I'd go with Once Upon the Cross from Deicide.  Far as the band goes, the self-titled debut or Stench of Redemption would probably rank as the peak of THEIR prowess, but Cross is plenty excellent so basically it's the best meeting of both worlds.  The low-end here is just pummeling, perfectly representing what death metal in general is supposed to sound like.  At only twenty-eight minutes, drummer/riff writer Steve Asheim has said that originally the album was even shorter but they recorded most of  the songs at a slower tempo to stretch out the length.  Good move as the extra groove seems to help the evil.

65.  Epitaph - Vader

Speaking of groove, Vader's fifth album Revelations is their South of Heaven.  Vader has and remains one of the most consistent and reliable death metal outfits almost since the beginning of the genre's formation, with stand-out songs on all of their albums to this day.  "Epitaph" opens Revelations and establishes right out the bat that it was time to let the riffs breathe a bit.  The only time I saw Vader live was on this tour, which was also drummer Doc (Krzysztof Raczkowski) last before his sad departure from the band and eventual death.  They opened with "Epitaph" and me and my guitar player both gave a "Oh fuck yeah" look to each other and headbanged accordingly.

64.  Sentenced to Burn - Cannibal Corpse

So many classic death metal bands up in here.  "Sentenced to Burn" was the single off Gallery of Suicide which was the first Corpse album to feature Pat O'Brien and also the first to not have Scott Burns behind the boards as he had recently and permanently retired from such board running.  It's ultimately not the best sounding Corpse album, but much stellarness is on it.  Namely of course this song.  Most of "Burn" sticks to one headbangingly comfy tempo and as usually the case with CC, once the pitch harmonic riff shows up, the entire thing transcends mere good territory and enters "Holy dick this is awesome" territory.  Few moments in any metal song kick as much ass as the one at the 1:50 mark here.

63.  Lashed to the Slave Stick - Nile

When Annihilation of the Wicked was set to be released and Nile pimped out "Lashed to the Slave Stick" as the first single I was certainly tantalized.  Kind of unfortunately, that ended up being by far the best song on said album even though Annihilation still is probably above average overall.  It was just nowhwere near as solid as the three albums proceeding it.  "Lashed" was another one of the few songs written by Dallas Toler-Wade instead of Col. Karl Sanders as per usual so maybe that's why it stands out so much.  Though the fact that these riffs here are utterly fantastic probably has more to do with it.  "Lashed" is also the only full song on the album to not be dominated by blast beats and in this case, mo groove equals mo betta.

62.  God of Emptiness - Morbid Angel

Pete Sandoval hilariously ripped on the best part of this song when I met him once after a show, but then again he loves Jesus now so what does he know?  The said Pete Steele-esque "Bow to me faithfully" end to "God of Emptiness" I at least sing along with every time.  The opening, long as shit riff though is hell metal excellence.  I wrote my own ode/rip-off of it in my old death metal band Wretched Disciple and you guessed it, "God of Emptiness" is way better.  David Vincent's vocals overall here are as excellent as the slow, odd, and evil riffage.  Also the music video kicks ass and showed up on Beavis & Butthead.  What better of an honor can you get?

61.  Stabwound - Necrophagist

The very best wankery fueled tech-death yet produced appears on Necrophagist's Epitaph.  Me and my friends usually describe this band as sounding like Yngwie Malmsteen playing brutal death metal.  Turkish/German born Muhammed Suiçmez offers up a dazzling bit of songwriting here and the whole thing kicks off with "Stabwound".  This song pretty much tells you everything you need to know about Necrophagist.  The riffs are even more complex than the leads, the drumming is superhuman, there's bass solos, and above all, it's all hooky as fuck and incredibly punishing.

100 Favorite Metal Songs - Part One

100. Capitel I : I Troldskog Faren Vild - Ulver

Coming near the end of the Norwegian black metal boom that began in the late 80s and kinda peaked out by the mid-90s, Ulver's debut album Bergtatt – Et eeventyr i 5 capitler is Norwegian folklore set to music.  The album's long-titled opening track "Capitel I : I Troldskog Faren Vild" contains not a moment of screaming, Garm (Kristoffer Rygg) instead sounds like a sole choir boy in a massive Viking temple.  Musically, Ulver hit a peak here that they'd never get to again, not that they ever tried mind you as they haven't resembled anything close to a metal band for almost all of their existence since.  But then why keep going for glory when you knock it out of the park on the first swing?

99.  The River Dragon Has Come - Nevermore

Nevermore's first 7-string written and recorded album Dead Heart In A Dead World I'd say is their finest and the band's signature jam as far as I'm concerned is "The River Dragon Has Come".  Just reading that song title and assuming that Nevermore is a power metal band, (which on paper I guess they are), this could be a lot closer to the truth.  Nevermore were exceptionally heavier and darker both lyrically and musically than literally every other traditional metal band there's ever been.  Sick riffs, a harmonized lead from Jeff Loomis, plus a rare high scream from Warrel Dane and lyrics about something-something serious.  It's enough to make a believer out of any extreme metal head who's allergic to clean singing.

98.  Leave No Cross Unturned - Darkthrone

And here we have Fenriz delivering one of the funniest power metal parody vocal performances of all time.  At least I think it's a parody.  Very hard to tell with this guy.  If you'd have told me when I first got into Darkthrone that in 2015 I'd be regularly bumping a 13 minute, traditional metal song with vocals like this and zero of the primitive black metal elements the band got on the map for, I'd of said you must enjoy drugs.  That said, Darkthrone has never been a band to beat a dead horse, as they've gone from generic death metal, to black metal, to punk, to now "Leave No Cross Unturned".  I like my metal with a heavy dose or at least side of silly and Fenriz who wrote, "sung", and performed this one on his lonesome may be the Benny Hill of metal musicians.  It's physically impossible to not both laugh and headbang to this one all at once.

97.  Enter the Eternal Fire - Bathory

Quorthon (Tomas Börje Forsberg) was basically the sole godfather of black metal and 1987's Under the Sign of the Black Mark was his near one-man project Bathory's third and finest album.  It was also the first one to contain listenable production and more epic arrangements and the last to embrace the Dark Lord.  "Enter the Eternal Fire" is primal enough musically that I've debated covering it in one of my band's whilst having all of us switch instruments, but this does zero to diminish it's impact.  A lumbering, slow, and of course evil hym, Immortal, Satyricon, Darkthrone, and you name it pretty much had the rule book laid out for them here.  Quothon still had three more quality albums to release under the Bathory title, but this one sums up his powers most good.

96.  The Leper Affinity - Opeth

This was the first Opeth anything I ever heard and it kicks off barely-arguably their very best album Blackwater Park.  Before this song was even over that first time, I was an Opeth fan.  I actually enjoy Mikael Åkerfeldt's more mellow compositions if I was forced to choose, but I was still rather surprised to discover that this is the first of only two songs making this list.  But it assuredly belongs.  Besides just being my introduction to one of metal's all time finest bands, it's textbook Opeth at their very strongest.  I really could've picked any song off this album, ("Bleak", "The Drapery Falls", or "The Funeral Portrait"), but I'll stand by this one till I change my mind next time I make this list.

95.  11th Hour - Lamb of God

"11th Hour" was one of the crowning moments off As the Palaces Burn, once again the first album I had bought and heard from THIS band.  Lamb of God was getting better and better by the time they cut their third album with ridiculously talented Devin Townsend helping produce.  This has been a concert staple pretty much ever since and it's easy to see why.  Two-ish minutes in when it kicks into thrash gear and ultimately breaks down that ridiculously tight "stupid" riff is the moment anyone in the crowd will compulsively start circle pitting, moshing, and/or just cracking one's neck in place.  Really every Lamb of God song has a moment or several like this, but this one just cracks the neck more nicely it does.

94.  Lucifer - Behemoth

As of late, Poland's unholy extreme metal darlings Behemoth have been getting increasingly better and more interesting.  I've always been a fan since their Morbid Angel worshiping early 2000s days, but the band's latest album The Satanist is where I wish oh so many metal bands would go musically.  The album before that one though Evangelion ended with "Lucifer" which not only may be the greatest music video ever made, but is my pick as the band's high water mark.  It also clearly set the tone for what they'd do on The Satanist, meaning slow, very moody, groove oriented hell metal.  Out of all the metal band's that take themselves way too seriously, Behemoth is my favorite.  Moments like "Lucifer" are so godforsaken good that it almost makes me wish I didn't play in a comedy death metal band but instead one that made pretentious arthouse music and videos that piss off Christians.

93.  Stripped, Raped, and Strangled - Cannibal Corpse

And now, this list's introduction to the feminist poetry that is Chris Barnes lyrics.  Many people, (including many in and out of Cannibal Corpse), consider The Bleeding to be the band's finest album.  I do not, though I love it plenty mind you.  But the crazily catchy "Stripped, Raped, and Strangled" doth appear on it so there's your glowing endorsement right there.  My old death metal band Wretched Disciple learned this song at one point and me and my brother still made a point to start playing it during band practice on a regular basis afterwards, regardless of which band we were practicing in.  It's as infectious as death metal can possibly be.  I could be having a root canal done and explosive diarrhea at the same time and if this song came on I'd still start headbanging.

92.  Slave New World - Sepultura

Initially I had three Sepultura songs written down for consideration for this list.  Ultimately I settled on just "Slave New World" off Chaos A.D.  As fantastic as "Refuse/Resist", "Territory", and well every other song on that album is, "Slave" just kicks all the ass.  I simply love dumb, chunky riffs like the main one here where the drums kick in.  And the awesome and simple D standard riffage doesn't stop there.  Chaos A.D. is where Sepultura both changed up their sound from the excellent, Slayer-inspired death metal of their first few albums to move into tribal groove metal.  But it's also where they perfected said move, as Roots onward would slowly deteriorate into TOO much de-tuned primal-ness.  But 1993, still Max Cavalera fronted Sepultura was certainly firing on all cylinders.

91.  Black Seeds On Virgin Soil - Old Man's Child

One of the shittiest named metal band's of all time released their fifth album In Defiance of Existence in 2003 and I was hip to it right away.  I had some Dimmu Borgir and was aware of the band's then second guitarists Galder's (Tom Rune Andersen) long going project Old Man's Child when I heard "Black Seeds On Virgin Soil" on a compilation CD, (remember those?), for Century Media Records.  I promptly went and picked said album up as this song whoops fucking ass.  It certainly doesn't hurt that Dimmu, Lock-Up, and ex-Cradle of Filth drummer Nicholas Barker is behind the kit on this one.  This entire album is excellent and it remains the only OMC album I ever listen to even though I have all of them.  Lightning caught in a bottle I suppose.

90.  Creeping Death - Metallica

It's understood by most that when Metallica was good, they were goddamn godlike.  Until (The Black Album) came out, they could basically do no wrong.  The title track from Ride the Lightning just missed the cut, but "Creeping Death" was written in Moses' tablets as for sure showing up on this list.  A song about the plagues of the death of the first born from The Bible, (which is a good song title in and of itself), and containing a riff that makes most other riffs sound like they suck, "Creeping Death" is one of those songs you'd play an alien who's never heard metal before.  In fact it's also a song you'd play an idiot who only knows Metallica post "Enter Sandman" to show them that at one point Metallica chanted "Die!" and tore the roof off the place.

89.  As Fire Swept Clean the Earth - Enslaved

The first excellent Enslaved album I picked up was Below the Lights and it's lead-off track, "As Fire Swept Clean the Earth" hit me right away as a masterpiece.  First off, how awesome of a song title is that?  Second off, any song that starts with the world's most beautiful instrument the mellotron has my attention straight away.  The rest of "AFSCTE" perfectly encapsulates Enslaved at the peak of their powers, with eerie melodies, odd drumming, chanted and growled vocals, and slamming riffs all thrown into the mix.  Amazingly this isn't even the best song off this album, meaning of course if you haven't done so yet, you should make it a purchase that you make.

88.  Mourning Palace - Dimmu Borgir

Boring and sub-par vocals, drumming, and kinda cornball keyboards aside, Dimmu Borgir's third and best three-word-titled album Enthrone Darkness Triumphant has some gloriously Satanic excellence on it.  Opener "Mourning Palace" is easily the band's best song.  Truth be told, I'm not the overall biggest Dimmu fan as I find them very hit or miss.  This album is very solid though and "Palace" is chock-full of riffs that they'd never had or would have again.  So clearly their prayers to the Great Deceiver were being answered at this point in their careers.  Look no further than the 3:45 onward mark in this song for all the evidence you need that at least in this instance, Norway's most commercially successful black metal band was worthy of the hype.

87.  Pandemonic Hyperblast - Anaal Nathrakh

My bass player Eric randomly emailed me one day that he had found the heaviest song of all time.  As this was the bass player in both the death metal band's I've thus far played in, (and much of our conversation revolved around just how heavy metal truly was), this was indeed saying something coming from him.  And after partaking, my head, mind, and ass were assuredly blown.   To date, I'm hard pressed still to find anything that is indeed heavier than "Pandemonic Hyperblast".  Nearly everything that's happening in this song is distorted to obscene levels and the non-human drumming is so relentlessly pummeling that it nearly knocks you off your seat listening to it at any volume level.   Anaal Nathrakh would go onto make more stellar music and noise throughout their still going career, but they never came as close to defying the laws of physics as they did here.

86.  To Daimonion - Mayhem

Mayhem is one of those band's that you can take or leave entire moments in their career.  I have friends who've stuck by everything this band has done, but I hate their back-again asshat frontman Attila Csihar with all of my black heart so anything he's on and ruining doth not get listened to by me.  Mayhem's early basement recordings are as unlistenable sonically as their later era stuff is complex musicianship wise.  Through it all, it's brutal and bleak though.  "To Daimonion" is the last full song on Grand Declaration of War which is probably my favorite Mayhem album.  Maniac is everything Attila isn't as I adore every sound he makes from his ridiculous preacher talking to his cat being murdered with a demon throat ripping.  And musically this is Mayhem at their most technically proficient.

85.  Curse of the Pharaohs - Mercyful Fate

Long before I trained my ears to tolerate and ultimately dig King Diamond's outrageously silly vocals, what the rest of his band members were turning out behind him certainly sat me well.  Melissa is my favorite Fate album between it and Don't Break the Oath if I had to choose, and "Curse of the Pharohs" be my favorite song.  The clown prince of Satan does his usually wailing thing, throwing his vocals hither and tither, but riff wise this is as classic as old school metal gets.  Technically Danish and ergo technically not part of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, Mercyful Fate was still better than virtually all of their English peers for at least two albums in a row.  Hail Satan and go Egyptian curses!

84.  One Bullet Left - Six Feet Under

It may be cheating to include the only Six Feet Under song in this list almost solely for the reason that Ice T raps on it.  But in my defense, said rap is brutal as all get out and certainly meets Chris Barnes standards lyrically.  Also, SFU has enough tasty jams that I could've easily included any number of their non-MC featured ones, "Impulse To Disembowel" juuuuust missing the cut.  But yeah, this is good shit.  Me and my death metal band member cohorts have been planning on covering this some day in a live setting, but as of yet we have not found a worthy enough MC to tackle the Ice T part.  Maybe we'll just throw the Cop Killer himself a line and see if he's game.

83.  Ashes In Your Mouth - Megadeth

Megadeth easily followed up their best album with another damn excellent one.  Countdown to Extinction was their comparatively stripped down and better answer to Metallica's (The Black Album), though "Ashes In Your Mouth" is actually probably the most complex song on it, with odd timings and in unison transitions sharing space.  And it also ended with possibly the best utterance of the word "mercy" in any song ever.  But luckily for us all, the rest of "Ashes" besides the M word is also oodles of fun.  Because when you think of Dave Mustaine, you think of the phrase "oodles of fun".  Right after the phrase "asshat" most likely.

82.  Bible Black - Heaven & Hell

The "oldest" band on this list meaning it features four men who's ages added up far surpass the number of years added together of any other group appearing here.  Of course meaning the second and far technically better line-up of Black Sabbath, in 2009 dubbing themselves Heaven & Hell for Sharon-Osborne-Is-A-Cunt legal purposes.  Not confused?  Very good.  Moving on then.  With "Bible Black" and The Devil You Know, (the album said track stems from), Ronnie James Dio, Geezer Butler, Tony Iommi, and Vinny Appice proved that their best work was not at all behind them.  I couldn't have been more pleased the day this song was released as I was hoping that the awesome was still very much in these gentlemen.  And it most certainly was.

81. Tyrants - Immortal

According to one of the funniest things to ever be on youtube, "Tyrants" was Abbath's attempt to re-write "Kashmir".   Time will tell if it ends up being as iconic to metal heads at least as said legendary Zeppelin classic, but the third track off Immortal's masterpiece Sons of Northern Darkness certainly brings the fuh-ng meh-ol.  A slow and slamming beast of a song, "Tyrants" is as heavy as they come, due in no small part to drummer Horgh's (Reidar HORGHagen, get it?) giant drum sound and attack.  The "Kashmir" esque riff ain't none too shabby either.  Go Abbath!  My old death metal band actually DID cover and play this one live, but alas, Immortal does it better.  As I assume they do most things.

100 FAVORITE METAL SONGS

100 FAVORITE METAL SONGS

As opposed to every other list I've done on this blog, I didn't read any other source's version of breaking down metal songs by quality to inspire my own.  Instead, my guitar player Tyler simply asked me, "Hey, wanna do a 100 favorite metal songs list?".  Say no more good sir!

I've ranked me some metal on here before.  My "20 Favorite Extreme Metal Vocalists" and "100 Favorite Metal Albums" of course, then a few of these songs here showed up on my overall "100 Favorite Songs" list, naturally.  As I had to with said albums list, I had to once again hammer down and decide what exactly I wanted to count as "metal".  Should it be any song from any metal band?  Any song that helped define or invent the current criteria for metal?  Should it just be anything with distorted guitars?  There's also a handful of bands and artists that got heavier with the times.  Black Sabbath, who singlehandedly invented stoner and doom metal, easily comes to mind here.   Yet I've always lumped them in with Deep Purple or even Zeppelin as hard rock pioneers.  Though by the time Heaven & Hell the band came into existence, certainly that stuff counts as metal.  Am I making a point or just being confusing?   No matter.   My list, I makes up the rules as I damn well please.

Because one of these men is made of gypsy powers instead of drugs, ergo is more metal.

There's also other bands that have some damn heavy moments, but not exclusively so.  Does Type O Negative's more melodically driven/borderline ballads count?  Cause otherwise "Love You To Death" might be my favorite metal song, which sounds wrong somehow.  Or what about anything off Damnation from Opeth?  That band is or was at least certainly metal and does make appearances here, but said album has nothing resembling heaviness or distortion to be found.  And such the conversation went between me and my bandmate who suggested this project.  And we still didn't' see eye to wang.  He counted solo Dio, I did not.  Per example.

Then there's neo-classical stuff like Yngwie Malmsteen, prog-metal like Dream Theater and Fates Warning, or hair metal like Twisted Sister.  I digs all of this stuff to varying degrees, but none of it shows up here.  This comes to the main point which is that I decided ultimately to make up this list with songs that I feel like hearing when I want to hear something heavy.  Not necessarily brilliant and gorgeous pieces of music.   Just brutal ones with sick riffs that make my head want to go Jennifer Love Hewitt album.

Operation "Incorporate Let's Go Bang album title into blog post" = success!

Now anyone who knows my tastes with extreme music for extreme people, you'll know that I'm primarily a death metal fan.  By a large amount, this particular sub-genre is the most represented here.  Others such as power or traditional metal and stoner metal are barely present.  And I shouldn't have to tell anyone that nu metal ceases to exist up in here, though I have no problem admitting that early Slipknot and Mudvayne aint' half bad.  Thrash, black, NWBHM, and all that like are all here, but my preference for DM takes, well, preference.  I've to date played in two death metal bands so me and my bandmates influencing each others tastes has been going on for quite awhile.  But I suppose every metalhead has their go to stuff.  Be it band, album, song, or era,  when I want killer riffs in my belly, there's certain stuff I go to more than others.  And with that, here be a hundred examples...

2011 Horror Part Two

HUSK
Dir - Brett Simmons
Overall: WOOF

The After Dark Film series has offered up some incredibly terrible films such as Gravedancers and Frontier(s) and though not as unwatchable as either of those, Brett Simmons' Husk is easily still in the "terrible" realm.  Scarecrows are naturally creepy, comparatively not that overused in horror movies, and ergo one would think that they would be close to idiot-proof to do well.  For the first twenty or so minutes here, this is indeed the case.  The main problem though is that the film embraces nearly every cliche in the book and has protagonists that consistently, scene after scene, do the most illogical things possible.  The laws of physics are also ignored where characters have been hacked to pieces and pierced with sharp things only to be granted spontaneous stamina and "I'm not dead yet" bouts of not being dead.  Elsewhere, a car crashes, cell phones do not work, a creepy farm house is surrounded by corn, the phone there also does not work there are ghostly flashbacks, tons of boo scares exactly and always where you expect them to be, lights do not work, cars do not start, and every character is unlikable and a moron.  This basically sums up the game here and even if you like to watch horror films where you can eat popcorn and laugh at how stupid it is, this takes itself seriously enough to just make you anxiously await for it to be over instead.

THE TUNNEL
Dir - Carlo Ladesma
Overall: GOOD   

A crowdfunded, Australian feature-length debut from Filipino-born director Carlo Ledesma, The Tunnel was done on a very modest, $36,000 budget, which is nearly $100,000 less than they were originally going for.  Ladesma and his crew nevertheless make splendid use of their funds while plunging their four actors into the real-life underground tunnels of Sydney.  The film only has a few minor problems with it, namely that is is yet another found footage movie presented as a finished documentary.  So once again, we at least know that the interviewed characters are all going to end up OK while the ones not interviewed are not.  Also, the last few minutes here do not work so well, coming off as a little underwhelming.  The actual holy-shit creepy parts though are quite memorable, rather in spire of or because of the fact that they take awhile to get to and are somewhat few and far between.  It is flawed by design, but for the forgiving viewer that champions getting genuinely freaked-out above anything else, it more that suffices.

MARIANNE
Dir - Filip Tegstedt
Overall: GOOD

The personally funded film debut from Filip Tegstedt is one of those psychological dramas that merely disguises itself as a horror movie.  The concept is plenty excellent in that it contemporizing the Mare from Swedish folklore into a story of a father and husband who is crumbling at the seems.  The film spends very, very little time on the actual spooky stuff, which perhaps makes said spooky stuff that much more effective when it does emerge.  Comparisons can be made with this and Guillermo del Toro's work as both filmmakers do not seem exclusively interested in scaring us for ninety-ish minutes.  Instead, they are more concerned with slamming home an individual, relatable narrative.  Sweden is not known for producing many horror movies, (death metal yes, horror no, perhaps oddly), but it would be nice to think that films like this can show what truly can be done in the genre.  It is certainly deserving of carrying the torch in such a manner so here is hoping more traditional folklore can be delivered in films, both creepy and compellingly like it is here.

2014 Horror Part Five

STARRY EYES

Dir - Kevin Kölsch/Dennis Widmyer
Overall:  GOOD

This kickstarter-funded outing from the writer/director team of Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer is rather on the nose yet expertly done.  Taking the long-established cliche that much of Hollywood is run by evil studio executives and then making that quite literal, Starry Eyes uses such a premise for strange, unsettling, and fantastically gory results.  This includes but is not limited to one of the most brutal head smashing scenes ever.  Sinister bizarreness is center stage though.  The narrative concept is exaggerated to a horrific extent yes, but also to an amusing one which never lets the tone get too beak or serious.  Relative newcomer Alex Essoe is quite good as the desperate actress Sarah, who is in just about every scene in the movie.  Without giving too much away, (hopefully), her body almost ballerina-style "becomes" something quite...well yeah.  Gene Simmons son Nick is also in three scenes randomly so there is that.  The presentation is certainly unflinching, but once again, the dark, funny, and over the top tone is balanced well enough to make the subject matter not as heavy as it otherwise could be.

CREEP
Dir - Patrick Brice
Overall: WOOF

Urge to kill...rising!  Creep is a found footage collaboration from Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass and quite possible the most insulting movie ever made.  Far too often in horror, the viewer is talked down to by being asked to accept too much illogical behavior, depending on the movie of course.  The last set piece to this film exists based on such an enormous lack of logic that someone would have to be clinically braindead to not be bothered by it.  Such an ending made all the other predictable and enormously aggravating moments that happened elsewhere in the film, (including making "jump" scares officially note cute anymore...more so), THAT much more unacceptable.  Whether or not it is just one offensive practical joke by Brice and Duplass or not, it is so infuriatingly bad that each man should be ashamed of themselves and held accountable in a court of law.  Anyone unfortunate enough to endure this criminally terrible film well deserves their seventy-eight minutes back, that is for damn sure.

HORNS
Dir - Alexandra Aja
Overall: GOOD

Alexandra Aja is responsible for one of the worst horror movies ever made with Haute Tension as well as the thoroughly lame The Hills Have Eyes remake so one should logically be skeptical when venturing into his latest offering Horns.  Well, that would be the case if not for the fact that it is rather pleasantly decent.  Based off Joe Hill's novel of the same name, it is a modern day fairy tale that bounces around from horror, to black comedy, to pretentious art film.  Thankfully though, it stays consistently entertaining throughout said bouncing.  The middle of the movie is the most strange yet also the most engaging, where both we and Daniel Radcliffe's Ig Perrish are trying to piece things together.  There are a number of equally odd and funny moments here, more than enough to carry you through the third act which is where things dumb-down a bit.  Yet the twist is not that well thought-out and is rather predictable aside.  The true heart of the story though is the quirky and hilariously dark fairy tale element.  Thankfully, Aja successfully creates an atmosphere where everything is just as easy to buy into as it is to enjoy.

1960s Hammer Horror Part Two

CAPTAIN CLEGG
(1962)
Dir - Peter Graham Scott
Overall: MEH

Out of all the Hammer films nudged into the "horror" category, Captain Clegg could be the most undeserving.  Though it was released in America under the menacing title Night Creatures, any ties to supernatural and/or Gothic creepiness begins and ends there.  The film features two scenes of "the Marsh Phantoms", (a bunch of glowing ghosts on horseback that keep the villagers in their locked doors during the eve), and some of these shots are indeed unsettling.  As there are no blood sucking maidens or mad scientists running amok though, the film can of course be judged for what it is instead of what it is not.  The script by future Journey To the Unknown producer Anthony Hinds is as tight as any in from the studio.  It is plenty suspenseful enough to be enjoyable, and Peter Cushing has an almost duel role that suits his exquisite talent to a tee.  Some gruesome torture scenes are also alluded to, though never shown and the exotic Yvonne Romain and her bountiful cleavage fit the eye-candy requirement that Hammer films usually had.  It is hardly as rewatchable as other films from the production company, but there we go comparing it again

THE KISS OF THE VAMPIRE
(1963)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall:  GOOD

In the slew of hundreds upon hundreds of vampire films which Hammer Studios in particular contributed a hefty portion to, sometimes it takes just a few tweaks on the mythos to produce a refreshing bit of celluloid.  The Kiss of the Vampire was helmed by Hammer's premier Fu-Manchu director Don Sharp and it twas originally intended to follow Horror and The Brides of Dracula to be the third film in said series.  The famous Count or any mention thereof is not to be found here though.  Neither is Peter Cushing or any of Hammer's other heavy hitters, though keen eyes will recognize Noel Willman and Jennifer Daniel who both appeared in The Reptile.  What the film does posses is that aforementioned subtle and fresh take on bloodsucker epics, including but not limited to a quite unusual massacre scene.  Hardly any cross waving or holy water throwing is to be found here, but an evil cult does makes an appearance at least.  For familiar films like this where "vampire terrorizes a small, peasant village" is the recycled plot, the extra effort to change it up ever so slightly is nice since the other usual, atmospheric, Gothic eeriness is predictably still present.

NIGHTMARE
(1964)
Dir - Freddie Francis
Overall:  GOOD

Prolific cinematographer/occasional genre director Freddie Francis took charge of the low-key, black and white Hammer offering Nightmare from 1964.  It was written by studio regular Jimmy Sangster, who also did the Horror of Dracula and Curse of Frankenstein screenplays.  This one was enjoyable for both pulling the rug out several times, switching protagonists halfway through, and having a few characters satisfyingly get their comeuppance.  Francis conveys a good, ominous mood where shadows are constantly seen, doors mysteriously open and close, and unexplainable things keep happening to break the psyches of certain characters.  The opening "nightmare" is quite good and you would be right to guess that the film's best moments are at night when we the viewer do not know who or what is messing with whom or to what extent let alone end game.  Even with a lesser known cast and few if any of Hammer's Gothic horror hallmarks, it is an effective, atmospheric thriller that is well-deserving of more eyes upon it.

Random Wes Craven - In Memoriam

August 2nd, 1939 - August 30th 2015

There are a number of filmmakers who have become known as pioneers in ushering in the "modern" age of the horror film.  George Romero could be considered the first to get his name on the map with Night of the Living Dead, which helped revolutionize gore, bleakness, and tone let alone single-handedly turning the zombie film completely on its ass forevermore.  Then before Tobe Hooper made the most disturbing exploitation movie yet conceived of at that point with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Ohio born and raised Wes Craven turned heads with his directorial debut Last House On the Left.   Others emerged like Dario Argento in Italy, David Cronenberg in Canada, and John Carpenter back in America that collectively made some of the most genre-defying and best horror films in the history of the medium.  All of these men to greater and lesser extents would continue to inspire countless filmmakers who either dabbled or straight-up dwelled in the genre since.   In good ways and bad as we all know.

Out of all the aforementioned, Wes Craven is possibly the most successful.   From a commercial standpoint, the Nightmare On Elm Street and Scream franchises are two of the genre's most enormous money makers and Craven spawned, continued to direct, write, and be creatively involved in both of them.  That alone makes him a person who is impossible to ignore in this field of scaring people at the movie theater.

Of course, Craven offered up quite a few non or minimally sequeled-out horror films over the course of four plus decades as well such as Deadly Blessing, The Serpent and the Rainbow, Shocker, The People Under the Stairs, Vampire In Brooklyn, Red Eye, and of course his very most terrifying Music of the Heart.  Now here is where I have to unfortunately play Debbie Downer.  After seeing many of these, (including the Screams and the Elm Streets), I am honestly only really a fan of one of them.  As in The Serpent and the Rainbow, which made my 100 Favorite Horror Films list.   Maybe because Craven did not write it and simply stuck to directing?

*Spoilers* It certainly does not have anything to do with anyone's testicles getting pounded into dust

I have always found Wes Craven's film output to be either somewhat or severely flawed.  Tone problems run amok in many of them and his earliest offerings suffer from, among other things, some terrible acting and very questionable direction choices.   I could write a series of articles about what is wrong with the atrocious Last House on the Left as it is one of the worst movies in the history of filmmaking.  Nightmare on Elm Street has a muddled ending and unfortunately it is impossible to take Freddie Kruger seriously after this.  I have made no shortage of proclamations that the slasher film is my least favorite horror sub-genre, ergo the Scream franchise which both poked fun at yet completely adhered to EVERY cliche in the slasher book never sat me well either.

So sadly, I have personally never agreed with the label "master of horror" where Wes Craven is concerned.  I originally had the intention to watch a handful of the man's films that I had never seen and review them on this blog as a fitting tribute, as of course we all know he just succumbed to brain cancer at the age of seventy-six this past Sunday.  I have to be honest with my opinions though and not sugarcoat the results of this experiment.   So yes, I regret to inform that none of these films blew my mind as I hoped maybe they might.   Though who knows, I have re-watched movies for the second time years later only to find that I very much enjoyed them where I had not before.  So maybe there is hope for me to become a Freddie fan after all.  Despite my tastes though, Craven's legacy is certainly impressive and now that it is complete, I shall send him off as honestly as I can.   May the gods stop future remakes from tarnishing said legacy and may Craven still continue to give future generations the nightmares they, well, CRAVE!

THE HILLS HAVE EYES
(1977)
Overall: MEH

This was Wes Craven's five-years-later follow-up to Last House On the Left and both explore similar themes.  Basically meaning, a bunch of crazies pick off normal folk and then the normal folk eventually fight back.  The similarities do not necessarily end there, as several scenes in Hills seem to be there just to make you uncomfortable.  This is something Last House certainly attempted and has been recognized for ever since, but the difference of course is that said film is astonishingly awful while this one is an improvement in a few areas.  Five years working on miscellaneous projects seemed to have temporarily taught Craven a thing or two about tone, as Hills sticks to its gruesome one from beginning to end.  The acting is mostly sub-par, especially Robert Houston who performs like a reluctant teenager in a high school play.  Iconic, naturally horrific looking Michael Berryman makes his horror film debut here and though he sadly does not get much to do, he pretty much just needs to stand in front of the camera while motionless to creep you out.  The initial trailer-park break-in comes after perhaps a too long build up, but it is generally unnerving.  Ultimately, the movie has potential to be a mountain-man horror classic, but Craven was still in amateur terrain where the direction, (particularly with the actors) and pacing is concerned.

THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS
(1991)
Overall:  WOOF

Yikes.  Easily put, The People Under the Stairs is the worst Wes Craven movie ever made that is not called Last House On the Left.  The problems that plague most of Craven's work are practically beating you over the cranium with iron clad fists in this one.  The tone is outrageously off.  Social commentary, racial injustice, poverty, and child abuse are all heavily handled with an equally hefty dose of slapstick comedy, horrid dialogue, cartoonish overacting, and illogical acts taking place every sixteen or so seconds.  A little of any of these things and one can shrug it off and continue onwards.  Yet all the awful just never lets up, making you shake your head wondering just what in the hell Craven was trying to accomplish here.  Was it supposed to be one of those intentionally stupid popcorn horror flicks that a teenager-filled movie theater can laugh at while simultaneously yelling at the screen?  If so, then why have so many serious themes?  Was it instead meant to actually be a menacing and disturbing bit of celluloid that got under your skin?  Whether either or both of these things was attempted or not, the results brutally fail.  In addition, the movie is very tedious.  Lunatics run around screaming, threatening, shooting guns, and sicking their dog on people.  Kids hide in basements, then in walls, then in vents, then in the basement a few more times, then the walls several more times, then various rooms, then the roof, etc.  This takes up no joke over an hour of the hour and a half movie.  Messy, off the mark horror has rarely been done messier or more off than here.

MY SOUL TO TAKE
(2010)
Overall: MEH

What would turn out to be Wes Craven's penultimate feature film, My Soul To Take is unfortunately a lackluster way to almost go out on.  With a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes, the general opinion here is that it is basically dullsville in celluloid form.  Being yet another slasher movie, having yet another cast made up of teenagers, and throwing in enough other cliches to clutter up the plot, it pretty much guarantee you will be watching it while leaning on one of your hands and occasionally yawning.  Because most teenage protagonists in movies are irritating at best anyway, you are practically rooting for the killer to pick them off here.  While this is usually played intentionally, in this setting that very killer is unintentionally sillier than both Freddie Kruger and Ghostface at their silliest.  Well, maybe not Freddie but still.  So basically, there is no one to either care about or get behind.  After so many successful horror works under his belt, (arguably more than any other director in the field), Craven just seems to be doing a teenage-slasher-with-a-schizophrenic-twist film by numbers here.  Maybe the all too familiar themes were just a safety net for the writer/director as he felt he could do this kind of stuff in his sleep.  Sadly, it certainly looks like he did just that.