1970s British Horror Part Five

SEE NO EVIL
(1971)
Dir - Richard Fleischer
Overall: GOOD

Richard Fleischer, (The Vikings, Soylent Green, Red Sonja), deserves nearly all of the props for what really works in See No Evil.  The premise of a blind woman under attack has been done a bundle of times, but Fleischer in utilizing a Hitchcockian gimmick to never reveal the killer's face until the last scene, (keeping both us and Mia Farrow's hapless damsel equally in the dark), makes for an innumerable number of effectively tense scenes.  The fact that most of these instances play out with no dramatic music underneath them also incredibly helps.  On that end though, the score when it does arrive succumbs to that near ruinous trait to be mood killing as it is much too lovely and swelling to fit the movie it is in.  Mia Farrow does not come off as cinema's most convincing blind woman as she noticeably makes eye contact with speaking characters a handful of times.  There are also two scenes that are not intended to be hilarious but rather are when she slips wildly and wide-eyed down a mud hill and gets knocked off her horse by a tree branch which resembles something right out of a Looney Tunes cartoon.  These are very insignificant complains though as once the movie hits the half hour mark, the majority of what follows is pretty heart-racing stuff.

THE STONE TAPE
(1972)
Dir - Peter Sasdy
Overall: GOOD

One of the most lauded horror works within the television medium, The Stone Tapes debuted on Christmas Day, 1972 on BBC Two as a standalone part of its annual Christmas ghost story tradition.  Director Peter Sasdy recently had some Hammer productions under his belt, (Taste the Blood of Dracula, Countess Dracula, and Hands of the Ripper), and writer Nigel Kneale was already known as one of the most prolific screenwriters in England, most famously for originating the Quartermass series.  As it holds up all these decades later, this is still pretty solid.  The cast is recognizable from other horror genre works, Doctor Who episodes, and even by one of them, (Jane Asher), being Paul McCartney's old love interest.  Though it is expertly performed,  delivered very straight from Sasdy's directorial chair, and has a very unmelodic and adequate score, Kneale's unnerving and approximately realistic story itself is the star attraction.  Few horror works would influence actual science, but The Stone Tapes indeed has a theory named after it in the paranormal research community, pertaining to the play's premise of ghosts leaving behind recordings within a natural environment.  Rather impressive.

PSYCHOMANIA
(1973)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: GOOD

Both silly and fun in equal amounts, Psychomania , (also known more appropriately as The Death Wheelers), is one of those movies where its absurdity has everything to do with its charm.  Though it has a distinguished enough cast, (with George Sanders no less in his last film role), and director Don Sharp is credited with some straight-laced Hammer outings, Psychomania is a ludicrous, often exploitative movie that uses its nuttiness to its advantage.  There are one or two genuinely chilling scenes, (the one involving the weird room and the mirror for the win), but most of the time it is humorous to watch the main motorcycle gang partake of many outrageous, leisurely activities.  The film's premise is as outlandish as they come, but there are so many odd details that you can not only forgive but actually kind of admire the randomness of many of them.  One moment involving a guy getting buried in a hole while he sits perfectly erect on his motorcycle while his buddy sings a jaw-droppingly terrible hippy song about how rebellious he was was so asinine it should derail the whole movie.  Instead, it proved rather memorable, be it in a way most likely not intended.  To be clear though, most of the enjoyment to be found here is meant to be found.  It is a wonderfully wacky addition to anyone's British horror viewing.

1970s British Horror Part Four

AND SOON THE DARKNESS
(1970)
Dir - Robert Fuest
Overall: MEH

Though co-scripted by prolific Doctor Who writer Terry Nation, having Dr. Phibes director Robert Fuest behind the lens, and featuring Pamela Franklin, (The Innocents, The Legend of Hell House), all on board, And Soon the Darkness ends up being a sleazy bore.  Emphasis on the word "bore".  As was unfortunately commonly done in this era, monotony is a gargantuan problem here, a movie that once again makes up nearly its entire running time with scenes of people walking, running, and looking around two or three locations back and forth, over and over again.  Fuest does not concoct nearly enough suspense to keep these endless moments of waiting for anything at all to happen come off as anything but laborsome.  Now to the film's credit, the actual mystery as to what is going on is very successfully kept secret until the last possible second and there are numerous moments that cleverly misdirect the audience.  The only problem again is that these moments are suffocated by a such a tedious pace and honestly the final reveal is a little dumb.  Maintaining an effective slow burn is a delicate matter to be sure, but the movie does not pull it off in the least and is a bit of a near-miss, (or near-hit), judging on the handful of elements that otherwise would have elevated it into being one of the more unique thrillers of its kind.

FRIGHTMARE
(1974)
Dir - Pete Walker
Overall: GOOD

Following up the same year's House of Whipcord and once again teamed up with Shelia Keith who would go on to be featured in a number of his films, Pete Walker's Frightmare is arguably the director's most straight-laced horror movie.  This is even taking into account that his very last movie would feature horror icons Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and John Carridine.  Certainly exploitative though forgoing any nudity, the film has cannibalism, family dysfunction, some nasty murders. and even a gang of hoodlums beating a bartender to a most bloody pulp as part of its makeup instead.  This would go on to become a lauded role for Keith who portrays a type of mania that hits several different beats, often in the same scene and never venturing too far into schlock terrain.  In fact most of the film keeps a lid on it as far as going too far over the top with some very well-staged moments that appear more natural than one would expect from the genre-ripe script.  This is both in part of the entire cast playing it straight and Walker controlling the jolts very attentively.  It is this type of fine line control that would make Walker a well-respected name in his field, Frightmare proving that he had the skills to keep his outrageous scripts reasonably in check.

SYMPTOMS
(1974)
Dir - José Ramón Larraz
Overall: GOOD

Missing for several decades due to the original prints being mishandled and simply circulating in bootleg form for the time being, José Ramón Larraz's Symptoms was finally located and re-released in 2016.  This is fortunate not only from a film preservation standpoint, but also because it is a rather sufficient bit of psychological horror to be sure.  There are some pacing problems as it boils perhaps a bit too long on the kettle, but Larraz has an aptitude for exhibiting very subtle, creepy moments usually in a "blink and you'll miss them" fashion.  When these moments do transpire, they successfully grasp the viewer back into it all and there is just enough of them to not crawl everything down.  Rare for a horror film, the shocks are actually rather shocking here, being mostly attributed to the patience Larraz has in revealing them.  Donald Pleasence's daughter Angela not only looks exactly like him, but her skeletal, odd, and unkempt appearance is matched perfectly to her abnormal performance.  It is obvious to see the comparisons one can make to Roman Polanski's top-notch Repulsion, which took a far more visually striking, avant-garde approach to similar subject matter.  Yet Symptoms is a unique and more low-key enough beast on its own merits.

1970s British Horror Part Three

MUMSY, NANNY, SONNY, AND GIRLY
(1970)
Dir - Freddie Francis
Overall: MEH
 
A rare auteur work of sorts from Freddie Francis that was not a directorial assignment from a production studio, Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly, (Girly), was instead made independently and represents one of the exploitation British films from the turn of the 1970s that channeled more risque subject matter.  Based on Maisie Mosco's two-act play Happily Family, screenwriter Brian Comport toned-down or outright eliminated elements of incest, lesbianism, and sadomasochism, though the story kept the disturbed premise of a cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs family that holds up in a spacious mansion, kidnapping hapless people and making them partake of childish games and regulations.  Francis set up the project both as a means to attain full creative control and to shoot something at the Victorian Gothic house Oakley Court in Berkshire, which he had merely utilized for exteriors on other films.  Both Vanessa Howard and Howard Trevor behave like kids in a unwholesome home life that skews proper English etiquette into twisted playtime that go on perpetually, and Francis keeps the dark humor in check with all of the ghastly murders played for shock value as the ridiculous scenario goes on undeterred.  Excessive in length and repetitive with an unsatisfactory ending, it still has enough historical merit to recommend.

THE BEAST MUST DIE
(1974)
Dir - Paul Annett
Overall: GOOD

One of Amicus's more gimmicky entries, The Beast Must Die basically locks Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None and Richard Connell's The Most Dangerous Game together in a room with a werewolf.  The premise being a rather clever "who done it?" hybrid, much of the movie's success stems from its concept alone.  Peter Cushing has a bit part and the man could not come off as more classy and professional if he tried, plus other genre regulars Anton Diffring and Charles Gray bring in more familiarity.  In the lead, Calvin Lockhart is either delightfully or annoyingly over the top as the eccentric millionaire who is as equally obsessed with hunting a lycanthropian beast as he is making grandiose speeches at every opportunity.  The film slags a little bit as it becomes clear from the outset that we are going to sit through all three nights of the full moon before finding out what is transpiring.  There is ultimately little else to do but have Lockhart continually shoot at a wolf that keeps getting away and then accuse his party guests who grow less and less tolerant of the monotony of it all.  The climax is relatively satisfying though, all the more so for coming after a rather funny and meta "werewolf break", something rather unique to this movie.

THE SHOUT
(1978)
Dir - Jerry Skolimowski
Overall: GOOD

Boasting a genuinely strong cast, (including John Hurt, Alan Bates, and even Tim Curry for a few moments), Jerry Skolimowski's The Shout is the type of arty, psychological semi-horror film that very deliberately presents itself as a bewilderment.  Based off pf the short story by Robert Graves, there are minor hints of Lovecraftian madness, but the appearance of it all is something uniquely credited to Skolimowski most likely.  As a graduate from the National Film School in Łódź, (who also has Roman Polanski as one of its alumni), Skolimowski's direction of his actors particularly and the way the film is spliced together are its largest components to the intended on-screen delusion.  Yet the avant score from two members of Genesis not only contributes to the movie's hipness, but also does a bang up job of furthering what is strange about it.  The narrative increasingly bounces between what' is most likely the present and what is most likely not the "actual" past, and all the behavior from all of the characters does everything it can to make the viewer uneasy as to what on earth can be occurring.  No audience spoon-feeding allowed, it is a welcomed approach regardless of the overall outcome, but thankfully said outcome is quite effective in its subtle eeriness.

1970s British Horror Part Two

THE BEAST IN THE CELLAR
(1970)
Dir - James Kelley
Overall: WOOF

Nearly every last aspect of The Beast in the Cellar is deplorable.  These are not even taking into account any message or story elements because who cares about that when the viewing experience is this catastrophically boring.  It goes past the point of unintentional comedy when the entire film is made up of rapidly edited, terrible POV shots of people getting attacked followed by an ungodly amount of minutes with two elderly women grumbling on about tea, feeling fine, then not feeling fine, then some of the most ridiculous expository dialog staging you can imagine.  The lack of budget is a monumental hindrance as it is filmed at one house for 90% of the time, which is fine in and of itself if anything actually interesting ever transpires.  There is monotony and then there is what this movie takes to near uncharted territory.  Not only does it just faintly qualify as a horror film, but it is barely a movie at all since it far more closely resembles a play that was written and performed in a retirement home by its occupants and the only people forced to endure it are the other inhabitants who only cheer at the finale since that means they can go play bingo now.

THE ASPHYX
(1972)
Dir - Peter Newbrook
Overall: GOOD

Though there are a few dubious missteps in Peter Newbrook's The Asphyx, (Spirit of the Dead, The Horror of Death), by the whole it is a genuinely particular take on the mad scientist genre.  To fully immerse oneself in the science of the plot, one has to gulp down a generous concoction of absurdity, but as far as the realms of even the most remote of realistic possibilities are concerned, it does a swell job of keeping the preposterous logistics of its universe in check.  The story really wins some points in being unique amongst the untold amount of would-be similar horror films made throughout the decades though as few if any others hold quite the same fantastical premise.  Newbrook forgoes going with a dramatic score a noticeably frequent amount of times and uses many stylistic editing techniques such as long takes, characters beginning one conversation in one location and then seamlessly continuing it much later in another, and the old walking into the camera to quickly fade it out and in from black to another scene.  Really it is only a few needlessly extravagant death scenes you can see coming miles away and the lead performance from Robert Stephens, (1968's Romeo and Juliet), that fractures what is solid here from time to time.  Several of Stephens' hysterical breakdowns garnish unintended laughter, especially when they transpire at very pivotal and alarming instances.  Still, the film is certainly different and well accomplished enough elsewhere to be worth the watch.

HOUSE OF WHIPCORD
(1974)
Dir - Pete Walker
Overall: GOOD

Peter Walker and screenwriter David McGillivray's first collaboration is the mostly notable House of Whipcord, which is probably one of the strongest women in private prison movies that has been made.  The ironic humor is so undercut by the very grim, dire tone that permeates most of the film that it is only occasionally noticeable.  The opening on-screen text is the obvious in-joke and most of the sequences between Ann-Marie's roommates act as silly and somewhat boring mood killers that get in the way of the real meat of everything, being psychotic right wing sadism brought forth upon innocent young girls who have the audacity to be flirtations and shameless whilst showing some skin once in awhile.  There are some liberties taken with physics and logic to move things along, particularly in the final act when the prison that took several hours to drive to earlier in the film takes but mere minutes later on, (unless we are to believe that Anne Michelle's Julia has been playing cat and mouse with her pursuers for much longer than is conveyed).  Also, why Julia is the first and only one to break free from the grand total of two prison madams who act as the establishment's muscle is rather far-fetched as the place is hardly equipped with an arsenal of guards to keep it running smoothly.  It never once convincingly comes across as an inescapable fortress.  Still, Walker turns what could have been ludicrous and trashy for trash's sake into something that comes off as very consistently dire and menacing by the end. 

1970s Sergio Martino Part Two

THE STRANGE VICE OF MRS. WARDH
(1971)
Overall: MEH

Sergio Martino's first of many giallo offerings was The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, (Lo strano vizio della Signora Wardh, Blade of the Ripper, Next!, The Next Victim).  Lead actress Edwige Fenech would end up being in a whole lot of this Italian sub-genre, (more helmed by Martino as well), and she would be naked in even more movies than that, making her rather the textbook, preeminent giallo scream queen.  Several screenwriters were on hand here and it rather shows since the film ultimately cannot make up its mind as to what its twist is going to be.  So many players could potentially be behind such murderous plotting so why not make all of them behind it, (kind of)?  You are more likely to chuckle to yourself than scratch your head by the last ten or so minutes, particularly where two characters decide to swerve all over the road whilst cackling over their fiendish scheme going off without a hitch.  It was a goofy moment proceeded by lots of naked ones with the occasional "oh, now this woman is obviously going to die" throat-slashing scene thrown in.  This would usually happen while said woman was still naked of course.  It is easy to dismiss these films as male libido driven excursions into sexism even when those same males in the film generally get their comeuppance, but though this one is delivered with a wildly convoluted plot and plenty of eye candy, it is still basically giallo by numbers.

YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM AND ONLY I HAVE THE KEY
(1972)
Overall: MEH

Well this one certainly wins the "most ridiculous title for a giallo movie" award.  Confusing matters, Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key, (Il tuo vizio è una stanza chiusa e solo io ne ho la chiave, Gently Before She Dies, Eye of the Black Cat, Excite Me!), is actually taken from a letter that a killer left in The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, (so many vices).  In that film it made sense more or less but in its context here, it is rather headscratching.  The film follows the pattern of having lots of horny people who ultimately have no redeeming qualities to them.  The blade-wielding psychopath is more of an afterthought here, but on top of numerous women getting their necks slashed so we can see blood splattered across their chests, other women get routinely smacked around, upping the male chauvinism tenfold.  As mentioned, it becomes more of a miserable experience in that the three main protagonists are all awful people so you on the one hand want them all to get what is coming to them, but also do not want anyone coming out on top.  Since nearly all of these stories follow the same series of blueprints, it really comes down to cinematic styling as far as how successful they are.  Martino knowingly references Edgar Alan Poe's The Black Cat throughout which gives it just a hint of a supernatural quality and he expertly frames all of the mysterious goings on to keep us in the dark.  Yet the despicable aspects are too cumbersome to make the movie properly enjoyable.

THE SUSPICIOUS DEATH OF A MINOR
(1975)
Overall: GOOD

Sergio Martino trades in any and all elements of macabre or even dreamlike stylistic touches with The Suspicious Death of a Minor, (Morte sospetta di una minorenne, Too Young to Die), one of his lesser appreciated giallos.  Instead, he pretty much makes the Italian version of Dirty Harry.  The script, (credited to Martino and Ernesto Gastaldi who worked with nearly every B-movie Italian genre director throughout the 60s, 70s, and 80s), is rather competent with layers of corruption, prostitution, and drug trafficking mixed with chase scenes, people shooting guns, and bad guys murdering women.  As the main protagonist, (and clear Clint Eastwood stand-in), Cladio Cassinelli is effective at gaining our sympathies even when it is unclear for quite a ways into the film that he is actually the "good guy".  Which is a pleasant structural twist in and of itself.  Things get a little bumbly along the way with slap-stick comedy and goofy music overtaking the score at several instances, many of which come off as kind of sidetracking any genuine tension that could have been communicated.  These are minor, (huh huh, get it?), complaints though as the film becomes increasingly more interesting as it goes on.  Martino stages most of the plot curves admirably, even the ones that may have been more predictable than others.  Perhaps slasher fans may find the movie lacking in more brutal, gory, and elaborately staged murdering sequences, but as a capable, Euro-flavored action film, it gets the job done.

1970s Italian Horror Part Two

LADY FRANKENSTEIN
(1971)
Dir - Mel Welles
Overall: MEH

With the most noteworthy thing on his resume being the role of the flower shop owner in the original Little Shop of Horrors, you are not necessarily going into a "directed by Mel Welles" movie with the highest of expectations.  An international joint production that was heavily funded by Roger Corman's New World Pictures after an Italian bank backed out, Lady Frankenstein is of course one of the countless films that once again adapts the Mary Shelley novel.  Well, adapts its "Man playing god" premise at least.  There are some less common flourishes for this round with Frankenstein's bizarrely horny daughter fetching a scheme that can only exist in low budget horror movies to have her father's assistant's brain transplanted into a young, hunky village idiot's body in order to both make sweet, Gothic lover to him and be strong enough to kill her father's monster that is repetitively murdering people by throwing things at them in every other scene.  So it is definitely stupid, but it is also delightfully stupid for the most part.  Welles, (a coincidental last name as none other than Joseph Cotten plays the Baron, hardly looking the thirty years older that he was since Citizen Kane), does not drag the film down into typically tedious pacing and there is just enough nudity and cliched shots of mad scientist equipment that serves no logical purpose besides having to be there because Frankenstein.  The ending is comically abrupt and asinine, but it also does not really surprise you by being so.

THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE
(1972)
Dir - Emilio Miraglia
Overall: MEH

Many giallo films fly off the rails at various times, usually around the conclusion when the mystery of who is causing all the bloody shenanigans and why is finally divulged to the audience.  Yet The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, (La notte che Evelyn uscì dalla tomba), consistently keeps things absurd the entire time.  The main protagonist is psychotic as soon as we meet him and we witness this several times throughout the film, not only making him wholly unsympathetic, but also making it very far-fetched and silly by the end that virtually every other character is even more diabolical.  The viewer is completely mislead, (which is a given for these bloody, Italian pre-slasher movies), but the "pay-off" at the end where multiple rugs are pulled out from under us in a matter of mere minutes is wacky to the point of being comical.  This can be considered a plus though as the incredibly implausible lack of realism certainly does not make the film come off as anything resembling "boring".  To flavor things up, it is loaded with Gothic horror elements, (including a very goofy seance, a dark and spooky castle, crypts being opened, ghost sightings, and even a woman wearing a skeleton mask), all of which make the script's believably suffer while at the same times making for a more fun ride.  There is conclusively too many missteps, (particularly in the jumbled ending), to give it a sincere recommendation, but it does distinguish itself just enough as a hoot.

THE HOUSE WITH LAUGHING WINDOWS
(1976)
Dir - Pupi Avati
Overall: WOOF

What a bizarre experience this is.  Few, (make that no), giallo films are more frustrating in their presentation than Pupi Avati's generally praised The House with Laughing Windows, (La casa dalle finestre che ridono).  One can be brought to an aghast standstill over how unbearably boring it is.  The one-hundred and ten minute running time is the movie's undoing in so many ways.  Nothing happens for so very, very long besides people leaving vague warnings over the phone, (which are never explained), our main protagonist having two love interests, (the first of which is 100% irrelevant to anything), several characters repeatedly attempting to deliver expository dialog only to continually be stopped, and so, so, so much back and forth between various locations where absolutely nothing transpires to further the plot.  It is simply exhausting to have our main character be in one building, walk around slowly or have a conversation, then have him go to another building and do the same over and over again for well over an hour with the outright bare minimum in suspense being portrayed.  This is a pivotal mistake to wearing the viewer's patience down so incredibly much that by the ridiculous ending, it is nearly impossible to have any kind of investment nor the faintest idea of what is going on.  Shaving off an hour and a half where it could have been a short segment for a TV series may have proved memorable, but in its brutally uncompromising full-length, giallo rarely gets more excruciating to stay awake for than here.

1960s British Horror Part Five - Fu Manchu Series

THE FACE OF FU MANCHU
(1965)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: MEH

Ignoring the ever present whitewashing that many films in typically Anglo Saxon countries produced during this time, (only one actual Asian speaking main character is actually Asian here), The Face of Fu Manchu has Christopher Lee as the fictitious, evil criminal mastermind and because it is Christopher Lee, it is therefor certainly watchable.  Thankfully, the legendary actor had enough class and good sense to not put on a fake Chinese accent to go along with the fake Chinese makeup, (though he would unfortunately hint more at that in later installments), but his title character is written as generically boring as they get despite how competently Lee portrays him.  The plot is so simple that much of the action seems forced and barely warrants much more than a complacent shrug from the audience.  The general lack of creativity in the script department unfortunately permeates the whole, which throws in a lot of drawn-out fist fights to make the film appear more exciting than it is, with said fist fights being just as lackluster as anything else transpiring.  Four more films immediately followed this one, (each one emerging a year apart as to effectively wear-out the franchise), but unfortunately things were already off to a very mediocre start to begin with here.

THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU
(1966)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: MEH

Once again Fu Manchu is up to his old tricks which in installment two is already starting to wear thin.  Handled again by one of Hammer's second tier directors Don Sharp, (The Kiss of the Vampire, Rasputin, the Mad Monk), this would be Sharp's last in the Fu Manchu series before he was replaced by Jeremy Summers the next go-round.  The role of Scottland Yard detective/Fu Manchu's arch enemy Nayland Smith was switched from Nigel Green to Douglas Wilmer, but besides that, The Brides of Fu Manchu is an almost identical run-through as the previous year's Face of.  Daughters of prominent scientists and political figures, (who all seem to conveniently be around their mid twenties and attractive), are gathered up by the Asian-by-way-of-Christopher-Lee tyrant to use as leverage to get his next doomsday weapon operational.  He thwarts the authorities hunting him every step of the way through the exact same means, (misleading them with disguises, red herrings, and announcing dates and locations of his attacks by way of the airwaves), until he does not anymore, then getting his headquarters blown up only to have him ominously threaten in voice-over that he will of course be back to fight another day.  Lee gets a little more screen time and we pretty much jump right into him back in action with no set up, but the retreaded story elements are so precise that it barely if all all warrants its existence in the first place.

THE VENGEANCE OF FU MANCHU
(1967)
Dir - Jeremy Summers
Overall: MEH

Switching directors with Jeremy Summers, (House of 1,000 Dolls), for round three in the Constantin Film produced Fu Manchu series, thankfully the villainous, title-character overlord at last changes up his world domination scheme.  Though he still cannot help but to kidnap somebody's daughter and torture them to get what he wants.  The man has an itch he seems incapable of not scratching.  The Vengeance of Fu Manchu is appropriately titled as the story focuses near exclusively on the would-be undoing of his arch enemy Nayland Smith, which up until a point is showcased somewhat interestingly.  We are given a rather large thematic-leap pill to swallow for the plot to gain momentum, but this is forgivable as the pace is kept up even though most of the action set pieces yet again seem to be padded on to fatten the fist fight quota.  There are also some very unmemorable side characters with rushed-to-non-existent backstories, two entirely pointless musical segments, and everything is more clumsy than clever in that Smith's at-long-last capture is depicted entirely off-screen.  The biggest flub though is in the ending which appears to have been improvised after they forgot to write one.  At this point it is assuredly laughable that no one ever bothers to check the recently blown-up remains of Fu Manchu's hideout to see if he is actually dead, instead just continually shrugging and literally proclaiming that they will probably hear from him again.  With two more sequels on the way, their very predictable prediction would prove correct.

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU
(1968)
Dir - Jesús Franco
Overall: WOOF

Well, bringing Jess Franco on board to helm the fourth Fu Manchu excursion noticeably changes a few aspects, none of which in a good way.  The first three films in the franchise being relatively competent if somewhat lifeless in many parts, The Blood of Fu Manchu is the first one to aggressively insult the viewer's intelligence.  To pit all of the blame on Franco would probably be unfair as most of the observable directorial choices he makes are innocent enough quirky camera angles, zooms, and more nudity and sadism than was previously on display.  Yet he also very jarringly inserted footage from another movie, (The Girl from Rio), and somebody somewhere made some dubious editing choices.  Lady Manchu Lin Tang, (Tsai Chin), now has randomly generic Eastern mystic powers for the first and only time, (for one scene), and has a brief moment of her cackling on her throne, which is also out of character.  The schlock level is jacked-up elsewhere as well with the worst character in the series, (some fat bandit pendejo called Sancho Lopez), getting way too much screen time and Dr. Petrie badly attempting comic relief about how cold his tea is getting while he is suffering in a dungeon.  It is the plot though that takes the most jabs at our intellect as Fu Manchu gets a bunch of kidnapped girls, (yes, more of that), to get bitten by a snake and then sends them all over the world to kiss and poison his enemies which will miraculously kill all of them at the exact same moment six weeks later when the moon is full.  When the heroes dash in at the last minute to save the day, do they unleash a stream of bullets anywhere near Manchu or his daughter who are just standing there watching?  Why would they do that when they can instead easily pick off all his no-name henchmen and for the forth straight time blow up his hideout and admit that he is probably going to return again later.  As Mr. Charles Brown would say, "Good grief".

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU
(1969)
Dir - Jesús Franco
Overall: WOOF

Well the "movie" that finally brought the Fu Manchu franchise to a mercy killing end is powerfully awful enough to have had the potential to end everyone's career involved, let alone the titular villain's fictional legacy.  After watching it, one can be at a complete understanding as to why it caused the cast of MST3K to break down into tears of agony.  Right out of the gate, the signs are pointing towards doom as footage from two different movies, (the earlier The Brides of Fu Manchu and inexplicably the Titanic film A Night to Remember), are spliced together to make up the opening scene.  In fact nearly all of the effect shots are taken from stock footage and other films, (including a moment where a dam gets demolished for absolutely no plot-worthy reason).  So there are assuredly budget problems here.  Things get increasingly muddled to the point of incomprehensibility and also wearisome as the running time clocks down, making the majority of The Castle of Fu Manchu the kind of bad cinema that is more boring than funny.  For a few moments sprinkled throughout and certainly all of the last twenty minutes though,  the bets are all off.  Characters easily escape as Fu Manchu watches them escape, characters whose names we do not even remember fall in love with absolutely no build up, a woman drowns in waste high water, a prisoner is declared to have no further use only to have further use in the next scene, a doctor easily bests several trained guards at unarmed combat, a scientist who can speak just fine is given a heart transplant in order to continue to speak just fine and when he is asked again to divulge a secret formula and simply says "no", Fu Mahchu gets it anyway on a piece of paper that someone nonchalantly hands him, and well, this will go on for about another thousand words if we are to list everything atrociously wrong here.