Wednesday, September 21, 2016

My 50 Favorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episodes

My 50 Favorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episodes

At this writing, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is at eleven seasons and has been renewed for another three.  And I'd say it's contestable that this is the most consistently funny TV show there is.  The Simpsons really only had about a six-seven year run of brilliance, South Park generally delivers but loses some staying power by being too topical, and I personally wouldn't regard any other comedy program as a favorite of mine that's been on as long as Always Sunny has.  The point is, even what anyone could dub the "worst" episode of this show is still really goddamn funny.

But we're not here to talk about those "worst" episodes.   'Cause again, there really aren't any.  Nor are we here to talk about all one-hundred and twenty-four of them so far.  With no sign of slowing down for at least another several years and in the mood for another ranking of something I'm nerdy about during my free time, I decided to compile a list of the fifty best episodes this show has to offer.   As always is the case on my blog, they are in order of preference and not just put together by season or alphabetically.  After all, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right.
Pictured: Jack Kelly - doing it right
It may not seem possible that a show made up of five despicable, self-absorbed, vile, delusional, compassionately void, quick-tempered degenerates could not only be on the air so long but also be so tirelessly funny.  Every scenario plays out the same; the gang hitches a scheme, they either go it together or trade alliances, under pressure it's always every man for himself, and nothing ever works out according to plan.  If the characters themselves evolve at all it's never for the better.  Dennis grows more psychopathic, Dee grows more pathetic, Charlie grows more stupid, Frank grows more disgusting, and Mac is cluelessly gay.  But it's all a perfect, dysfunctional stew that wields hilarious wonders week after week.

I recall the first episode of Always Sunny that I ever saw.  I remember the place, circumstances, and everything.  It took some time after that before I got my hands on the box set of the first five seasons and then proceeded to marathon the fuck out of them catching myself up.  Fast forward a few years and I got lazy, thus recently I marathoned the last four seasons together, bringing me now 100% up to snuff.  Meaning I'm as fully qualified as any other fan of this show to tell you what's the funniest shit they've ever done.

There are a plenty of lists just like this out there.  A quick google search will prove I ain't lyin'.  And naturally, mine is better.  Mwa ha ha ha!  But alas, I leave it to the Always Sunny minions to decide how right on I am.  Or how wrong.  In any event, I have a rum ham in the oven that needs attending to, so let us begin shall we?

50. Who Pooped the Bed?
Season Four

"I have a bleached asshole."

This is a given for the most disgusting Always Sunny episode, one that thankfully we the viewer can't smell as we watch it.  Artemis' Clue-worthy mystery solving in the finale is probably her finest moment on the show and shows off how clever the writing here can be, even revolving around such extremely juvenile subject matter.  But Dee and the Waitress both walk away with the prize with the former's pathetic and desperate attempts to assemble a Sex In the City worthy crew, (and trip and slam into a parked car on $700 shoes that are grossly under-sized for her gargantuan feet), and the latter being a laugh-out-loud drunk.

49. Charlie Gets Crippled
Season Two

"Hey! Mr. Tibbs was not just some stupid stuffed element!"

And enter Frank Reynolds.  It's contestable just how good this show would've continued to be, (or even if it would still be on for that matter), if Danny DeVito wasn't brought on board to play Dee and Dennis not-actual father/Charlie's maybe-actual father.  For his first appearance, he's the closest he'd ever come to "tame", but signs of the true Frank are present just the same; namely his pussy hounding and backstabbing nature.  The rest of the gang at various points trying their hand at exploiting crippled people, (Dee most hilariously), are where the true laughs lie though.  That and Mac carelessly dropping a stripper to the floor after losing a race with a wheelchair-bound Charlie.

48. Mac Is a Serial Killer
Season Three

"There's about fifteen severed heads in there I'd say."

With references to Law & Order, Primal Fear, and To Catch a Predator, the rest of the gang becomes convinced that Mac is targeting and murdering blondes, only to find out it's actually Dee's neighbor Gary who has a fridge full of severed heads, none of which are blonde by the way. Mac was just banging the Tranny.  Both Dennis and Dee dressing up as their ideal serial killers and "staging" an eventual murder of the Waitress is also ludicrously fantastic and provides further evidence that Dennis is kind of psychotic.  And Pepper Jack loves Fraggle Rock more than he loves making Dee his latest hoe.

47. Charlie Work
Season Ten

"Look at me when you're talking to me!"

From a technical standpoint, this is easily the most impressive Always Sunny episode of all time.   With the benefit of some nifty camera tricks and green screen, almost all of "Charlie Work" comes off like a single take and almost half of it was literally shot continuously.  If "Charlie Work" sucked otherwise though, it wouldn't be here.  This might have the simplest premise of any episode in the show; Paddy's Pub gets a impromptu health inspection and Charlie turns savant and commands the rest of the gang with an iron fist to help him make sure they pass in real time.  Which of course they not at all appreciate.  There's also a chicken/steaks/air-line scheme going on, but as is usually the case, it's better just not to ask.

46. The Waitress Is Getting Married
Season Five

"How much cheese is too much cheese?"

Charlie's blind date that Mac and Dennis desperately set him up with after creating his online dating profile themselves is way up there on Always Sunny scenes.  As the episode title would suggest, the Waitress is getting married to an old high school acquaintance, (Charlie later gets him back with a box full of hornets, fear not), and Dee is insulted that she's not the one getting hitched while Mac and Dennis are fearful that Charlie will go postal on them once the love of his life settles down with her would-be husband.  And Frank and Artemis are now fuck-buddies who are into food.  In other words, nothing too surprising going on in this one.  Now who wants some milk steak?

45. The Gang Gets Whacked: Parts 1 and 2
Season Three

"Holy shit you can talk!?!"

Whether it's a ravenous, cannibal hunger, steroids, or in the case of "The Gang Gets Whacked", cocaine, watching Dee and Charlie succumb to various addictions scores on so many levels.  The moment where they go full ridiculous-junky and knowingly scarf handfuls of flour in place of coke since it's the next best thing is a highlight to this entire program.  Not to be outdone, Frank becomes Dennis' pimp which the latter succumbs to like a broken, anything-in-the-butt-goes gigolo puppy.  And Mac gets dubbed Pussy Hands by the mob that makes him their toilet-scrubbing bitch for a week.  Oh, and horse jockeys can talk apparently.

44. The Gang Broke Dee
Season Nine

"The thing. Whatever. Both"

Twist endings aren't necessarily an Always Sunny staple, but this one is so brutally satisfying and in hindsight typical that it easily makes this episode one of the greatest "everyone shit on Dee" ones in the entire series.  Because of course, no one's arc in this show can actually have a happy ending.  Least of all Dee's.  The perfectly plotted rise and fall from comedic stardom, (at long last), of Sweet Dee wonderfully coincides with Dennis' inability to cope with that stardom or furthermore, see the fiendishly soul-crushing plot at work before his eyes.  Which ultimately means both the Reynolds twins get broken, Frank, Charlie, and Mac having the last super villain worthy laugh.

43. Mac and Dennis Break Up
Season Five

"That's what I was trying to avoid, ok?  A conversation about body mass!"

As less intelligent as Mac generally is portrayed than Dennis, (an admittingly weak comparison I know), this episode is great for delving deeper into the two roommates relationship and realizing that in fact both of them are morons.  And utterly dependent on one another.  Dennis can't peel his own apple, an apple he needs to eat skinless because Mac has drilled it into him that the skin of apples is loaded with toxins.  Then when he panics after swallowing the seeds and relays the story to Mac later on, the latter's advice is to smoke some cigarettes that will smoke-out the bacteria in his stomach.  At least we can all agree that the cast of Predator can certainly pack on some serious pounds.

42. The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation
Season Three

"Well it was worth a try."  "It was not worth a try."

There's lots of subtle details to "The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation" to enjoy.  The cartoons that Charlie and Sun-Li are cackling at are the same that Little Kev was in "Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person", twelve year old Sun-Li was in fact played by a twenty-four year old actress, and numerous North Korea references are sprinkled throughout the script including a female Kim Jong-II, the term "enriched", Dee as an inspector getting kicked out of the Korean BBQ joint, and Sun-Li's talent show routine of an actual propaganda song.  Frank getting a wet t-shirt soak and perhaps the best drunk Dee performance ever are also good stuff.

41. The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby
Season Three

"I banged your girlfriend."

The plot thickens here with increasing evidence that Frank is indeed Charlie's dad since the latter's mom up and cheerfully admits that the gang's janitor survived an abortion.  He and Frank also go on a trash-rummaging kick that overcrowds their apartment to such an extent that they sleep on the sidewalk and then, in a dumpster.  Elsewhere, Dennis gets temporarily hung-up on saving the environment but quickly ditches that plan once a hippy burns him, resulting in one of his finest revenge schemes.  This was one of the first Always Sunny exploits I ever saw and the final shot I long considered the single funniest finale the show ever did.

40. The High School Reunion/The High School Reunion, Part 2: The Gang's Revenge
Season Seven

"Ah, yeah I'm a guy now."

Was there any doubt initially that the gang's high school reunion WASN'T going to be a trainwreck?  Or should I say a "freight trainwreck"?  They all immediately or eventually retreat to their old traits and pretty much prove beyond a doubt that they always will be/were never the cool kids of their graduating class.  The two-part closer to the Fat Mac season was one of the more ambitious ones in the whole series, bringing back numerous reoccurring characters, (Fatty Magoo, Cricket, Schmitty, Maureen, etc), dropping some very big reveals, (Dennis was actually a loser in High School, Mac's beyond hilarious real name, and possibly the Waitresses real name), and ending with a fake-out dream/dance sequence.

39. Mac's Big Break
Season Six

"You keep using this word 'Jabroni' and it's...awesome!"

This is another one where a member of the gang, (Mac in this here case), is doomed to fail and the entire episode plays as one long tease to find out exactly how said failing occurs.  I can't deny that there is a primitive type of hysterical funny to the final image where Mac slips and falls on his ass the second he steps into the hockey ring for his "big break", accompanied by the same perfectly timed sound effects that Dennis and Dee fuck with in their ill-fated podcast earlier on.   "Mac's Big Break" also has an 80's montage, (to the tune of Scarface's "Push It to the Limit"), and the Waitress almost gets topless and eats soup out of Frank's shoe before Cricket dumps dirty dishwater all over her instead.

38. The Gang Finds a Dead Guy
Season One

"How much will you give us for it?"

Pop-Pop seems a criminally underused Always Sunny character as he only made two kind-of appearances thus far and for the second one, he was unrecognizably rocking the Rip Van Winkle look and unconscious in a bed.  Dennis and Dee having an ex-Nazi for a grandfather who still doesn't trust Jewish people though seems like it could've wielded further gold.  The offensiveness continues as both Mac and Dennis continually hit on/blatantly lie to a chick who's grandfather just died, we find out that Dee is deathly afraid and disgusted by old people, and Charlie and Mac try and sell a museum Pop-Pop's box of Nazi treasure.

37. Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad
Season Two

"Now don't come back here without anything up those asses!"

The first appearance of Mac's dad was basically a given for inclusion on this list.  I love this man.  But as far as Always Sunny history goes, "Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad" is a milestone episode.  It was here at the end of the first Frank Reynolds season, season two, that it is revealed that a four foot ten man with brown hair and brown eyes is in fact not Dennis and Dee's biological father.  Frank's tirade in the Italian restaurant upon being told this is one of Danny DeVito's most shining moments ever on the show.  Every encounter Mac and Charlie have with Luther McDonald regarding the smuggling of heroin through ones own anus though is even more amazing.

36. Mac and Charlie Die: Parts 1 and 2
Season Four

"Did I see you bang that thing?"

Mac's dad, back again.  This one actually has a somewhat happy ending with Luther McDonald newly out of prison taking an extended vacation to Tahiti to work on his own forgiveness issues.  Of course the two episodes worth of shenanigans previously have Mac and Charlie doing everything in their power to either keep Mac's dad behind bars or throwing their hands up in inevitable defeat, deciding that the most practical course of action is to pretend to kill themselves in a badass blaze of glory and live the rest of their days out as bean-eating hobos.  Can't argue with that logic.

35. The Gang Buys a Boat
Season Six

"Because of the implications."

There's a beautiful Seinfeld nod in "The Gang Buys a Boat" where Sweet Dee's tube-man style move-busting seems very "Elaine sucks at dancing-esque".  And Mac is totally right; Dee does look exactly like one of those things.  The rest of this episode has a simple yet perfect premise that due to a sudden influx of Dick Towel money, (I thought the Lawyer owned 100% of that product btw), Mac, Dennis, and whatever presumably small amount of life savings Charlie has wracked up are enough to buy a boat to partake of Puff Daddy worthy tomfoolery on.   But because of course, that never happens and instead Charlie blows it up at the end.

34. Mac and Charlie Write a Movie
Season Five

"Full penetration."

Mac and Charlie's entire brainstorming session for their script they plan on proposing to "that slumdog bastard" M. Night Shyamalan basically reads like a conversation me and my friends would laugh our tits off to while having ourselves, probably whilst high and/or drunk.  Thus when the most underrated actor of all time Dr. Dolph Lundgren is defended as the perfect male actor specimen to sniff crime before it happens, there is virtually nothing wrong this episode could do afterwards.  And Dee making an ass of herself as a blood covered movie extra, Dennis pretending to give zero shits as to anything going on at all, and Frank eating sausages out of his chest pocket qualify as "virtually nothing wrong".

33. Sweet Dee Gets Audited
Season Seven

"I don't want any of that shit.  I just want the money.  And the illusion of power.   And puss."

For whatever reason, I missed this episode when it originally aired even though I saw every other one from the Fat Mac season right on time.  Catching up with this one years later, I feel a fool for having missed out way back when.  In the world of Always Sunny, it makes plenty of sense that one of the gang's schemes, (Dee's in this here case), could be something like claiming her surrogate baby that she had for the Tranny and her husband for a tax break.   It comes back to bite her in the arse and this culminates with the "darkest thing we've ever done", meaning a baby funeral in Paddy's Pub. The crucifix arguments and Wolf Cola endorsements were less dark but just as goddamn funny.

32. Charlie Got Molested
Season One

"Did you just say 'WE just stepped out of the shower'?"

And enter the McPoyles.  The gang's thankfully reoccurring nemesises debuted in the very first Always Sunny season and were customarily creepy from the get-go.  Pound for pound, season one was pretty solid considering it was all pre-Frank Reynolds, and at a mere seven trial episodes long, "Charlie Got Molested" topped it off nicely.  Charlie getting blackmailed into touching a doll's butt during his intervention and Mac trying to seduce Mr. Belding from Saved By the Bell after feeling insultingly turned down for such molestation when he was an adorable youth are just two of the many "so wrong they're hilarious" moments from this program.

31. Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire
Season Three

"Is there anything about this place you don't like?"  "The blacks."

Watching Dee get repeatedly shit on is one of the staples of Always Sunny, (so much so that it even happened literally in "The Gang Goes to Hell: Part One"), so knowing this, it makes pristine sense in this universe that Frank keeps trying to set her on fire.   He, Charlie, and Mac are of course more concerned and annoyed by the fact that she keeps tossing a box of kittens, but well, it's a long story.  Dennis of course plays an important role in making sure his sister gets the short end of the stick as he leaves her sleeping on a pile of garbage while he drops ecstasy and spends entire evenings at the club.  Then there's the dancing guy on public access TV and "Diaper Time", but again, it's a long story.

30. Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens
Season Five

"Think there's no answer? You're so stupid! There is!"

This has one of the best Always Sunny intros to any episode first off.  Whenever the gang makes camcorder videos in general never fails to go over, as the running joke of them seemingly only having one videotape to constantly record over means awkward, out of context footage from previous videos always comes up.  This also probably has the best appearance of the Lawyer who eventually one-ups the gang, but not before having his secretary regularly locked in closets and tied to sinks by Charlie and Dee.  Throw in the dick towel, two versions of the "gun shot/shot gun", an egg, and six pairs of giant boobs and another Always Sunny classic is born.

29. Dennis Reynolds:  An Erotic Life
Season Four

"That's my head shot.  I'll autograph it for you a little later on."

There's been the occasional celebrity cameo on Always Sunny and my favorite by a mile is the one-two punch of both Sinbad and Rob Thomas, beyond randomly showing up in "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life".   I was just as confused yet far more amused than Dennis was when he woke up in "rehab" with Sinbad spewing frightening inmate threats upon him, all the while muttering to myself "Is that Rob Thomas?".  Charlie and Dee walking in each others shoes is another superb side-plot that could've easily deserved an entire episode dedicated to it.  What may or may not be a glue-huffing hallucination of The Shining twins showing up in Charlie's hallway and Dee's always pleasant dry-heaving can both attest to that.

28. The Gang Gets Trapped
Season Seven

"The chips are off the table!"

In more recent Always Sunny seasons, more premises revolve around making fun of the gang's shtick to be ridiculous, loud, illogical, and self-serving to the point of insanity.  "The Gang Gets Trapped" is one of the first and best episodes that toys with this.  Thrust midway through one of their spontaneously stupid schemes, the details are emphasized here as not at all being important.  What is is how gullible and manipulative the whole gang is by loud speeches and the prospect of "adventure".   Dennis is the first to snap and from the onion breath, Mac being fat, Charlie being a simpleton, Frank being a lunatic and a teddy bear, and a family that doesn't at all look like they should have southern accents onward, it's all stupendous fun.

27. Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender
Season Three

"I don't blink."

I basically consider Mac's dad to be a national treasure to this show and his second appearance in "Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender" is my favorite of such.  The dinner party orchestrated by Mac and Charlie for two very polar opposite purposes is a beauty and features Charlie calling his mom a whore and convincing Mac's dad to bang her, where all the while Mac just wants his parents to make his life normal.  Always Sunny has a true gift of turning tragic dysfunction into some of the funniest shit on TV and this episode has it in spades, culminating with the misunderstanding between father and son McDonald in the end.  And least we forget, there's also Dennis' shirtless/mustached physical fitness lesson in a public playground.

26. The Gang Runs for Office
Season Two

"Hello fellow American, this you should vote me.  I leave power. Good.  Thank you, thank you.  If you vote me I'm hot.  Taxes, they'll be lower.  Son!  The democratic vote for me is the right thing to do Philadelphia.  So doo!"

"The Gang Runs for Office" is the first of a continuing stream of excellent episodes written by David Hornsby (Rickety Cricket), where we realize two on-going sources of funny.  One, Charlie and Frank sleep together, (literally), and two, Charlie can't read, (also literally).  Always Sunny's trademark to have the gang backstab left and right is present here, going beyond the gang with Mac, as even the Union and the police eventually start fucking with him.   Dee gets dressed up as a whore and has a drink thrown in her face which is as humorous as it sounds, but Charlie's campaign speech written for Dennis could be the finest single moment of dialog this show ever had.

25. Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense
Season Eight

"Oh Sandra, you dumb bitch."

Season eight wasn't an entirely brilliant season, but it did end with it's very best episode.  The very first scene in this one is great, (and they do it again, double great), but the trial that the gang decides to take it upon themselves to take seriously, (all to the anger-fueled bewilderment of Dennis), is a wonderful showcase for Mac's blindly religious faith.  It's always a joy to have random episodes where random members of the gang seem to have random moments of heightened intelligence, and Mac's attempt at explaining his faith in the bible and Dennis' in science as being parallel is one of these such moments.  All to just have them ultimately insist it was just Dee's fault and go about their business makes for a most satisfying verdict.

24. The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6
Season Nine

"It's going to be so confusing!"

This one was imminent.  Starting around season eight, Always Sunny began to more shamelessly make sequels to older, "classic" episodes.  You could chalk it up to laziness and a lack of new ideas, but "The Gang Recycles Their Trash" at least very much seemed to be in on that joke.   "The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6" on the other hand was a revisiting that probably every fan of this program was patiently waiting to see.  Picking up where Lethal Weapon 5 left off, instead of just a side-story as in "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth", this one dedicates it's entire running time to Mac and Dennis switching roles, offensive black face, Frank going full penetration, and not one but two blatantly gay 80's movie references.

23. The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
Season Five

"My grandmother had an affair with Susan B. Anthony."

As Glenn Howerton said, "What's sick about this system is that it actually works."  Whereas most of the gang's logic at any given time is impracticable to say the very least, the funny part of "The D.E.N.N.I.S. System" is how they take something that disturbingly makes sense, but skew it through Dennis inflated ego and emotionally barren backbone.   Because it's an Always Sunny episode, of course everything falls to pieces before the credits roll, this time due to every other members of the gang failing miserably at executing any of Dennis' diabolical instructions.  Frank derails the entire plan the most beautifully of all, proclaiming himself Dr. Mantis Toboggan M.D., which thankfully wouldn't be the last time he'd use that moniker.

22. McPoyle vs. Ponderosa: The Trial of the Century
Season Eleven

"For example, you remember me, (possibly), as a man with small hands."

Here's another sequel episode that continues the arc laid down in season eight's "The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre", concerning two families whom the gang seems incapable of not getting involved with, 100% of the time for the worst.  A man who I now consider to be my favorite side-Sunny character Jack Kelly absolutely steals this one.  There was not a single moment where his giant fake hands didn't make me laugh out loud.  Not one.  And his speech/rant defending them makes me wish ever so much that Judge Carl Winslow didn't cut him off while delivering it.  Then throw in Maureen going near-full-cat and I continued to fucking lose it.

21. America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest
Season Four

"When you be in the clubs and you be dancing, why you look so stupid?"

Yeah there's Dennis' delusional thinking that he can compete with chiseled, hunky male models, one of those models eating a whole bowl of cockroaches without being asked, Mac's model/life partner interviewing process, and the final image of Frank on a billboard in between two giant pairs of boobs, but "America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest" is ultimately all about Dee.  Her, (as Charlie very accurately describes them), "incredibly racist" characters that she thinks are gonna give her a sure fire shot to get a casting call for Saturday Night Live are tear-inducingly great.   Meaning of course, tear-incucingly stupid and offensive.  Charlie continually throwing a volley ball in her face and at least once doing the same to Dennis' crotch also equal gold.

20. The Nightman Cometh
Season Four

"I will smack your face off your face!"

This episode was so brilliant that the actors decided to stage it for real for a brief tour in September of 2009.  Hopefully Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 likewise become "real" in a similar fashion.   It's all about sequels nowadays anyway.  But "The Nightman Cometh" was one of the first of several sequels to an earlier episode that Always Sunny ever did and it's highly regarded as the best one overall.  The songs, (most of which seem to blatantly allude to a little boy having sex), are funny enough, but Charlie getting "up to here" the whole time at everyone carelessly trying to sabotage his greatest life's work with impromptu songs, role switching, kung-fu moves, bad rape...I mean sex scenes, and gum make this the classic that it is.

19. The Gang Hits the Slopes
Season Eleven

"It's mountain rules man."

Having grown up in the 80's, (just as the cast and writing staff of Always Sunny did), the frequent throwbacks in this show to the films of this decade always give me a chuckle.  Whether it's the whole gang trying to convince Dee that Rocky IV is the greatest movie of all time, (because it is), or in this case, styling an entire episode after a wacky ski-resort comedy wins me over on premise alone.  Casting Chainsaw, (Dean Cameron), from Summer School brought a smile to my face and speaking of which, Charlie's inexplicable sex scene with a Russian super model was easily one of the funniest goddamn moments in Always Sunny's history.  If they ever decide to do one of these again, I won't complain.

18. The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore
Season Seven

"Don't try and swim to Europe."

The "Fat Mac season" of Always Sunny was the first one that I watched as it aired, in other words the first that I didn't marathon chronologically with other seasons.   And "The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore" was my favorite from said season then and now.  The montage to the tune of "Vacation" from The Go-Go's is fantastic, Charlie has the perfect summer love evening on the beach with an ecstasy-high Waitress, Frank and Mac get their spray-tan on and party with guidos on a boat, and best of all, Dennis and Dee, (both high on angel dust), fear for their lives with a van full of criminals.   Least we forget rum ham, Charlie drinking sunblock, Dennis puking, Dee's braids getting ripped out, and two homeless dudes finding love under the boardwalk.

17. The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
Season Four

"Maybe the dudes are babies!"

This highpoint to season four is the absolute perfect stew of one of the gang's ludicrous schemes backfiring stupendously.  And I do mean "firing".  Frank waterboarding Dee, Mac, Dennis, and Charlie removing their shirts and asking a bank teller which one of them she wants to get banged by, the tinted windows from the inside, blowing fireballs, the baby monitor, dude's car repeatedly getting destroyed, Charlie drinking gas, Charlie's southern accent, Charlie's break cutting, etc.  There isn't a single moment in "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis" that doesn't work. "Wild card bitches!" became a catchphrase of sorts for Always Sunny and this understandably remains an episode that future ones would occasionally reference.

16. The Gang Gets Quarantined
Season Nine

"He got throat cancers from eating some bad...p.p.pussy."

Boasting a simple enough premise, there's a lot going on in this season nine gem.  A flu epidemic brings out Frank's hypochondriac side as he insists the whole gang quarantine themselves in Paddy's Pub until it all blows over.  At the same time, Mac, Dee, Charlie, and Dennis are taking their Boys II Men opening act audition very seriously.  Then shit gets weird.  Frank's slow descent into madness mirroring Col. Kurtz from Apocalypse Now and his inevitable shaving of all his body hair and wallowing like a sloth in hand sanitizer is a brilliant piece of "Danny DeVito's body is disgusting" humor.  And the rest of the gang having what turns out to be severe alcohol withdrawals within a matter of minutes and hours?  Equally brilliant.

15. Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person
Season Three

"Uh-AH-AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

Goddamn right "Dayman". "Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person" set-up the pieces for what would become the show's most famous episode "The Nightman Cometh".  The gang trying to form a band is one of those premises that this show simply HAD to do at some point and everything from Frank and Mac's complete inability to play their instruments, to Charlie singing in a Bob Dylan put-on about the Nightman coming inside of him, to Dennis improvising the falsetto hook to Electric Dream Machine's one and only song is all magnificent.  But it's also debatable that Dee watching her boyfriend watch cartoons while eating popcorn stands as even funnier than all that other shit.

14. The Aluminum Monster vs Fatty Magoo
Season Three

"Oh you're gonna peak all over everybody!"

This masterpiece hits it out of the park for furthering Dennis's unhinged side as he uses the lingo of a over-confident rapist to further his delusion into thinking A) he can design women's "clothing", B) then sell them, C) that every model in Philadelphia has the body of an "oompa loompa and hippopotamus", and D) that he can transform himself into the model of his own dreams.   And Charlie seems to like jerking off to Dennis's pictures. "The Aluminum Monster vs Fatty Magoo" also features Frank's sweatshop and he and Mac breaking Charlie with dog-like discipline.  But it's really all about Dennis barging into Fatty Magoo's office, just as he's not even beginning to peak.

13. The Gang Hits the Road
Season Five

"I eat stickers all the time dude!"

Having the gang go on a road trip and then never actually leaving the city of Philadelphia is brilliant in and of itself.  Then to have them constantly try and ditch Dee and reveal that Charlie has never left the city in his life, (or eaten a pear, a blueberry, or a strawberry), is just extra brilliant.   After falling asleep on a pullout couch in the back of their U-Haul and waking up to no longer moving, you're laughing before the big reveal even hits that of course they're parked right outside of Paddy's.  It's one of the things Always Sunny can do so well, where being predictable is never a detriment.  Oh, and Sweet Dee drunkenly croons "Runaway Train" and throws a jar of piss in Mac's face.   Can't forget that.

12. The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention
Season Five

"Where'd you come from?"  "I've been walking next to you the entire time!"

Frank Reynold's depravity gets the full treatment here as his wine-in-a-can-inspired plan to "get weird with it" and bang his dead wife's sister and/or niece never stops being hilarious as shit.  "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention" also introduces us to the thirty-three year old, sexually active Gail the Snail, (played by Mr. Show/The Larry Sander Show's wonderful Mary Lynn Rajskub), who could be the most disgusting character in Always Sunny history.  And that's impressive.  The rest of the gang delivering the intervention with a barrage of roast-worthy insults, (whilst all of them are more drunk than Frank even is), further kicks everything to marvelously absurd levels.

11. Chardee MacDennis:  The Game of Games
Season Seven

"You have to eat the ingredients of a cake."

Why an officially licensed version of Chardee MacDennis hasn't been released yet as a piece of Always Sunny merchandise seems criminal.   I guess it has to do with the game being made up of elements of nearly every other famous board game, hence lawsuits.  In any event, the first of two episodes dedicated to The Game of Games features only the gang and takes place entirely in Paddy's Pub's main room.  As simple as the premise is, the game itself is far from elementary.   Even if it technically lasts only fifteen minutes.  From the thickness of the rule book alone, there's a whole lot going on in Chardee MacDennis, a game of mind, body, and soul that Mac and Charlie have to date never won.  There's always next time though.

10. A Very Sunny Christmas
Season Six

"Did you fuck my mom Santa Clause?"

Almost every show needs a Christmas special and Always Sunny's by no means disappoints.  Exhibit A; Danny DeVito crawling naked out of a leather couch could be the funniest thing that ever happened.  Leave it to this program to pervert numerous Christmas traditions and have the gang throwing rocks at a train end up being pretty much the happiest ending possible.  It's reveled that Frank consistently delights in ruining Christmas for Dee and Dennis, buying both of their favorite presents for himself and continually wrapping empty boxes for his one-time children.  Mac's holiday childhood, (when his dad wasn't in prison mind you), revolved around going door to door and stealing other peoples gifts bright and early before said neighbors would wake up and catch them.  And an endless stream of guys in Santa costumes, (or not), ran a train on Charlie's mom all Christmas Day long.

9. Mac Day
Season Nine

"Holy shit there's two of them."

Arguably the greatest one-off Always Sunny character is Mac's cousin from out of town, simply dubbed Country Mac.   Everything that happens in "Mac Day" for the guy the day is named after goes awry once his superiorly "badass" doppelganger shows up.  Mac wants to CGI himself jumping off a bridge.  Country Mac just up and does it for real without spilling an ounce of his beer.   Mac wants to grease up beefcakes because he's "not" gay.  Country Mac wants to because he's "into dudes".  Regular Mac drops the line "shut up science bitch" too late.  Country Mac drops it right on time.  And it goes on like this, culminating in a karate tournament meant to have reality come crashing down on Mac, but since he technically scored an actual point in it, the delusion wonderfully continues.

8. The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition
Season Four

"We need this guy to build up copious amounts of debt.  That is the best way for him to build up his credit."

When the gang wrecking-balls into the Juarez' families home in the middle of the night to kidnap them/destroy their house/give them an extreme home makeover, I proclaim that it rarely gets better than this on Always Sunny.  I could've laughed harder at this than anything else I ever saw on this show.   Frank is the only one here who seems to realize and further delight in how absurd the rest of the gang's psychotically stupid plan is, where every single move they make is the wrong one.  Because we all know breaking down a few walls, some badass shorts and a blowtorch, vision boards, Dee's Spanish, a taco bed, a credit card, and terrifying a Mexican family will all get everybody exactly what they want out of life.

7. The Gang Beats Boggs
Season Ten

"I got all numbers!"

When the gang partakes of massive alcohol consumption, hilarity always ensues.  Case in point in the season ten opener "The Gang Beats Boggs" where Frank trails behind over forty beers worth and slowly collapses to the floor while mumbling, Dee takes "a ride on a carousel", and most brilliant of all, Charlie needs subtitles.  All for the honor of beating Mr. Bogg's cross-country drinking record.  Dennis is written-out casually before the tournament has ended, (but not before he's done his usual M.O. of taking extreme advantage of a poor horny woman).  And where would an Always Sunny episode be without some barely contained frustration, this time in the form of Mac consistently reminding Charlie that Wade Boggs is in fact very much alive.

6. The Gang Gets Held Hostage
Season Three

"You know, your eyebrow drives me crazy.  It's so thick. It's so dark and so very...connected.  You're a stone cold fox Margaret.  You're a stone cold fox and I want you, I gotta have you, I need you.  I want you inside me."

It becomes apparent that "The Gang Gets Held Hostage" is a Die Hard parody near the end when Frank has his pistol taped to his back and is rocking the exact same white wife-beater/bare feet attire as John McClane after walking on broken glass and crawling through a vent for most of the episode.  But this one has so much more.  The McPoyle's are the terrorists armed with rubber guns who's demands include a Planet Hollywood jacket and they successfully fuck with the gang, (all of whom immediately start conspiring against each other the second they're under pressure), getting them to trash their own bar, dress like them, lick a Stockholm syndrome stricken Dee, and get Dennis to make-out with Margaret.  Though that last one was Dennis' own desperate idea.

5. Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs
Season Eleven

"Slow down!  Children play here you fat cow!"

There's been a handful of solid episodes that focus around Dennis and Mac's relationship and moving them to the suburbs for this one was a stroke of pure gold.  This is one of those plots where you know how it's all gonna end up, but laugh just as hard when it predictably happens.  Kinda like old Loony Tunes cartoons.   Mac is the stay-at-home house-bitch who disguises store bought mac & cheese for his own Mac's famous mac & cheese and Dennis spends an hour plus in traffic per commute which of course brings his every-increasing psychopathic side to the boiling point.  The two's stare-down of their neighbor Wally, the fate of their dog, the Russian hats, it just all keeps gloriously coming.

4. Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare
Season Two

"Hi, I'm a recovering crack-head.  This is my retarded sister that I take care of.   I'd like some welfare please."

After a number of years being told to watch this show by a number of people, I was finally introduced to it at a friends house with "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare".  Since here we are, I was obviously hooked immediately.  Out of all the gang's numerous, wackadoo schemes, Dennis and Dee Reynolds welfare plan could top them all in hilarity.  Then how they nonchalantly buy and try crack for the first time, (and how the rest of that predictably plays out), is the kinda stuffs that got this show the "Seinfeld on crack" tagline in the first place.   After that, it's really just icing on the cake that Mac and Charlie get a hold of a bunch of Frank's money and proceed to spend it like cartoon character versions of millionaires.

3. Mac and Dennis:  Manhunters
Season Four

"Is it racist if we don't eat this guy?"

"Mac and Dennis: Manhunters/Charlie and Dee: Cannibals" kicked off what could be the best Always Sunny season, meaning season four and this has "instant classic" stapled all over it.  Frank can't keep his own past and that of John Rambo separate, Mac and Dennis see nothing remotely gay about tea-bagging Cricket with their painted balls and/or gluing their pubes to a dude's face, (both of which they do to each other to prove a point), and best of all, Charlie and Dee get the hunger.   Of course it turns out to be a tapeworm from the racoon meat Frank tricks them into eating, but watching the two of them try and logically defend their cannibalism and whether or not it's racist to not eat a black guy is exactly why this is one of the best shows to ever be on television.

2. The Gang Gets Invincible
Season Three

"Was that the guy from the Cosby show?"

As solid a contender for the greatest of all Always Sunny episodes as there could possibly be, this one is faultless front-to-back.  Dennis, Mac, and Dee, (or Cole), try out for the Philadelphia Eagles which of course goes completely different/more terrible than they all expected, and basically does so right away.  Mac gets tackled by Doyle McPoyle, (who Frank later shoots in the leg, furthering the rivalry with the said milk drinking, inbred family), Dee gets one lucky kick in before breaking every bone in her foot on her second try, Dennis gets knocked unconscious in his very first wide-receiver attempt, Charlie rocks the Green Man, and Frank trips balls in the McPoyle's Winnebago, (or so he thinks).

1. Who Got Dee Pregnant?
Season Six

"Delightful

Far as a debut viewing goes, I never laughed as consistently as I did during the season six masterpiece "Who Got Dee Pregnant?".  As every "brown" re-telling of the story on Halloween night at Paddy's Pub got increasingly more ridiculous and embarrassing, I hit the floor once Dee finally went full ostrich and had a conversation with Mac in the bathroom.  The usual deal is here with Frank being really gross, (Wendy's dumpster), Mac being completely inept as a security guard, (stumbling wildly into a mass of people to "secure" the situation), Charlie making a fool of himself in front of the Waitress, (this time when it's not even the Waitress), and Dennis being stalker-level creepy to a girl he's trying to bang.  The McPoyle's then come in near the end to shine with the only sober account of what happened and seem blissful at the alleged outcome that Dennis banged his sister.  Then in the finale, we never find out the answer to the episode's question as no one else in the gang gives a shit any longer once they know none of them are the father.  Thus, this is the most perfect of all Always Sunny gems.

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