THE BABY
(1973)
Dir - Ted Post
Overall: MEH
It is a bit trying to decide what to make out of a film like The Baby. It goes far enough trying to be disturbing to border on pathetic, but because it is portrayed so deadly serious, the sleazy schlock value is undermined to a critical point. Things continue to fire off of the deep end as it goes on and the final culmination is in such bad taste while being so absurd that it is nearly impossible not to laugh at it. The fact that everything that comes before it is so frustratingly stupid and disturbing makes for quite a problem though. In other words, if this is meant to be "Oh, brother" silly, then it is too dark and twisted. If it is meant to be seriously dark and twisted, then it is far too "Oh, brother" silly. Director Ted Post, (Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Magnum Force), tries to concoct a conventional, chilling finish, but he fumbles the pacing too much. We spend several minutes watching characters slowly creep around a house and then not turn any lights on when the logical moment arises. At least the script somewhat "explains" some of the other gigantic disregards for logic, (most prominently why no one goes to the goddamn police), but in the end, it still comes down to whether or not you want to watch a movie with a grown man in diapers acting and screaming like an infant while wackadoo women physically, sexually, and psychologically abuse him at every opportunity.
(1976)
Dir - Rene Daalder
Overall: WOOF
When teenagers are concerned, few things in cinema are more annoying than A) high school kids endlessly being repugnant assholes to each other and B) no adults being anywhere. The second full-length work from Russ Myer protégé Rene Daalder Massacre at Central High is thankfully not a slasher movie as the title profoundly suggests, but rather an incredibly annoying thriller that poses so many illogical scenarios with a complete disregard for creating the desperately necessary, surreal mood to make any of its social commentary work. The film's first act is nearly impossible to stomach as a small group of bullies hold complete sway over an entire school, (again with no teachers, parents or authority figures at any time intervening), and before we are even five minutes in, you simply want everyone on screen to die. Then the massacre of the title begins, (one such murder happening to a kid who is too stupid to notice that a giant swimming pool has no water in it just because someone turned the lights off), and the moronic scenario escalates rapidly. So many students get piked off over the course of days and weeks, (again with no teachers, parents, or authority figures at any time intervening, cannot mention that enough), and everyone goes about their business while both practically ignoring what is happening and even more excruciating, the bullies become even bigger scumbags. The ending is the most insulting moment of all. After so, so many murders, a bomb goes off outside of a school during a dance and the first grown-up we have seen the entire film says "Its just a fire, let's all go back to dancing". You can almost see what the allegorical intention was but, nah it just sucks.
(1977)
Dir - Donald Cammell
Overall: MEH
Donald Cammell's long-awaited follow-up to Performance was the Dean Koontz adaptation Demon Seed, a film that is accidentally silly despite its best efforts. While featuring a generous budget, somewhat acting heavyweights Julie Christie, Fritz Weaver, and the voice of Robert Vaughan, and again based off of a novel from the renowned Koontz, the sum of its parts should probably wield something better. The premise of an artificial intelligence going malevolent on its makers is fool proof to at least be creepy on paper, but it poses a problem when it comes to life. Scenes like a mechanical robot arm attached to a wheelchair and a giant, bronze, puzzle-looking thing or whatever attacking people are all bound to garnish a laugh or several from the audience when of course you are supposed to feel the opposite. There are also some plot holes getting in the way. One can buy that it only takes a mutant baby less than a month to reach full term, but nobody is going to check on the woman who is been held captive that whole time or the guy who visited and went missing weeks ago? Things are also pretty one-note. From the very beginning it is pretty obvious what is going to happen and then waiting through it gets more tedious than spine-chilling, leaving us with an ending where characters seem to behave rather inexplicably. Then there is a weird looking alien/machine/monster kid thing for good measure.
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