(2001)
Dir - Ernest Dickerson
Overall: MEH
As a modern day blaxploitation horror outing from director Ernest Dickerson, Bones has a persistently formulaic presentation that still manages to be fun either in spite of or because of its campy homage aesthetics. The story from Adam Simon and Tim Metcalfe follows the supernatural revenge framework to a tee, with the audience being completely behind Snoop Dogg's resurrected title character as he invokes mostly deserving comeuppance upon his wrong-doers. Tone-wise, it is identical to the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise; a steady melding of freaky and violent imagery, frightened, straight performances, and unabashed schlock. Dickerson even throws some references to Dario Argento's Surpiria in as well, with bright red blood and maggots falling from the ceiling because why not? Despite the novelty of the inner city setting and seeing Snoop in the diabolical lead, it is a pretty textbook affair that is not likely to wow anyone who is expecting some sort of potent, social critique of disenfranchised neighborhoods and corruption. Yet for those who simply want to see Snoop Dogg toss some still-speaking severed heads into a wall that is made up of icky, tarred souls who are screaming in damnation, this movie has you covered.
(2006)
Dir - Eduardo Sánchez
Overall: MEH
For his first solo directorial venture following The Blair Witch Project, Eduardo Sánchez dropped the found footage angle entirely, making the more conventional if still modestly budgeted Altered. As far as a concept goes, a story about alien abduction survivors out for revenge is not one that has been done too many times, but Jamie Nash's script botches most of its potential with hare-brained plotting. Right from the get go, the testosterone-ridden characters practically foam at the mouth while screaming "mother fucker" at each other in southern accents and for various reasons, the movie turns into more of an unintentional comedy as it goes on. The villainous extraterrestrial looks halfway decent, but he gets enough screen time in standard lighting to make the "guy in a rubber suite" appearance a bit too goofy to buy into. Particular rules are established between the aliens and their telepathic linkage and transformative relationships with humans, but such rules are kind of half-baked and all of the angry, machismo posturing from everyone taking things oh so seriously does not help the audience from chuckling when they probably should be both intrigued and spooked out. If it is indeed purposeful schlock, then it could use a few more nods and winks to the viewer, but as a sincere bit of emotionally intense horror, it drops the ball.
(2008)
Dir - Glenn McQuaid
Overall: GOOD
After collaborating with horror renascence man Larry Fessenden on two previous projects, special effects guy turned writer/director Glenn McQuaid delivered his full-length debut with the efficiently comedic I Sell the Dead. A fleshed-out version of his 2005 short film The Resurrection Apprentice which had a more serious tone, the presentation here is anything but. Mildly goofy high jinks plus jaunty music play throughout a grave-robbing buddy story that goes for and achieves a number of macabre laughs along the way. Ron Pearlman makes a mysterious, intimidating presence and Angus Scrimm gets to play the violin in one of his small handful of scenes, but the movie primarily hinges on the likeability and chemistry between Fesseden and Dominic Monaghan as the more slapsticky, alcohol-pickled Burke and Hare duo. McQuaid's love for the genre is unmistakable in every scene, yet it wisely does not adhere to strict throwback rules even if the period setting and various details are absolutely nothing new to horror movies from decades past. It works due to the lighthearted nature of the homage material so things like Creepshow-styled animated transitions and vampires sit right at home with Monaghan and Fesseden having a pint-drinking contest while gleefully abusing their cockney accents.
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