(2000)
Dir - Robert Zemeckis
Overall: MEH
Taking a stab at an overtly conventional, supernatural thriller with some Alfred Hitchcock references sprinkled in, Robert Zemeckis' What Lies Beneath is unfortunately everything one would expect from something played so strategically by the books. The story by Sarah Kernochan and Clark Gregg focuses heavily on the domestic nightmare that gradually unfolds between Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford and it works largely due to the top-notch performances of the two leads. Both A-listers have a likeable, natural chemistry between them, at least before things fall apart. They still convey a level of plausible sympathy at that point which could have easily went awry in lesser actor's hands. The ghostly details involving the central mystery are taken right out of so, so many other movies though to the point of parody. Outside of a couple of patiently staged, spooky moments, Zemeckis maintains a very formulaic approach that is to the film's detriment. Dropping the predictable jump scares with few more genuine surprises, perhaps a shorter running time, and some stylistic tweaks could have elevated it to a memorable level, but it is merely a well-produced, mediocre chiller as is.
(2005)
Dir - Charles Band
Overall: WOOF
"Boy that Charles Band sure can direct a movie" said no one ever. In order for something like The Gingerdead Man to achieve its intended, stupid-by-design cult status, the presentation has to lean into the ridiculous premise rather hard and rather relentlessly. Proving that Band and company have no idea what they are actually dealing with then, they spend a truly alarming amount of screen time fleshing out the most forgettable characters imaginable who are played by some of the most forgettable actors imaginable, all trying to tell some sort of actual "story" while Gary Busey's title pastry of doom is delegated to a small handful of shots. The fact that nothing works plot-wise is to be expected so on that note, this can hardly be seen as a legitimate complaint, but pushing Busey so far to the sidelines when his involvement in such stupidity is the main, (cough, only, cough), attraction is a baffling, inept choice for all of those responsible. Further bottom-barrel sequels followed this one because of course they did, but without the use of psychedelic drugs to enhance what the filmmakers failed to provide for us themselves, one can fairly chalk this up to an embarrassing failure that drops the ball on its idiot-proof, trash potential in virtually every respect.
(2009)
Dir - Àlex Pastor/David Pastor
Overall: MEH
Filmed in 2006 though not released until three years later after star Chris Pine's A-list turn as Capt. Kirk in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot, Carriers is one of countless post-apocalyptic, zombie-esque films to emerge within the turn of the 21st century and largely because of that, it is quite forgettable. Writer/director/brother team Àlex and David Pastor offer up a particularly dour as well as utterly hopeless take on the tired formula where a rag-tag group of people try to survive a contagious outbreak while suffering the traumatic loss of their loved ones. It is an "everyone out for themselves" scenario that is particularly miserable without having anything insightful to say as it recalls a whole lot of stuff that has been seen before, particularly various plot points in 28 Days Later to name an obvious source of then current inspiration/plagiarism. For anyone who is absolutely jonesing to see innocent, well-meaning characters consistently getting killed, infected, and/or left behind in a persistently heart-breaking manner, look no further than here. For the rest of us that unfortunately stumble across what this movie has to offer, Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland would provide a much needed pallet cleanser.
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