(2001)
Dir - Victor Salva
Overall: WOOF
"Remember those parts in scary movies where somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it?" Dropped within the first act, said line of dialog epitomizes exactly what Victor Salva's Jeepers Creepers is too wretchedly idiotic to do anything remotely clever with. The only reason a movie like this does not end after fifteen minutes is because these characters make the most asinine decisions they possible can, decisions that no one with even half a brain cell would make under any circumstances of any kind, ever. Salva possibly could redeem such stupidity if the movie exclusively leaned into its slasher parody tendencies as it continued to pile on the cliches with reckless abandon. Instead though, this makes the unforgivably lazy mistake that most horror movies with such a rightfully dismissed reputation do, which is that it thinks that simply referencing how unforgivably lazy it is in effect makes it not only clever, but even worth anybody's time. Nope. Go sit in the corner, think about what you did, and try again. Better yet, just forget the "try again" part entirely.
(2004)
Dir - Shane Carruth
Overall: MEH
Unquestionably unique amongst science fiction thrillers yet also unwatchably befuddling by nature, Shane Carruth's DIY debut Primer is a bold work that deserves its dictators for the same reason that it garnishes its praise. Shot for a mere seven thousand dollars on the outskirts of Texas with Carruth appearing in the lead along with David Sullivan and a small crop of friends and family, it is a painstakingly researched home movie that tackles quantum physics and casual loop theory in a purposely naturalistic fashion. Containing relentless technical jargon, overlapping dialog, and zero expository spoon-feeding for any audience member who is not an advanced-level electromagnetic engineer or scientist, the bare bones production aspects make this the antithesis of conventional Hollywood sci-fi. While the sincere, stripped-down approach is refreshing for the genre that has long been established on pseudo-science simplicity, million dollar laboratories, and neon-lit contraptions, the choice to mirror the narrative on the hopelessly confusing ordeal faced by the characters who try to manipulate their own lives via time travel is one of the most frustrating in any movie. In layman's terms, (terms of which the film makes every effort to bypass), it is incessantly incomprehensible and should only be approached if one wants a splitting headache afterwards.
(2007)
Dir - David Slade
Overall: MEH
Originally conceived of as a comic book, then as a film, then becoming a comic book before becoming a film anyway, (long story), 30 Days of Night boasts a nifty premise and some solidly entertaining ideas, but its execution is only partially on point. Director David Slade chose to adapt the graphic novel as his immediate follow-up to 2005's Hard Candy, with the series creator Steve Niles penning the screenplay along with studio mandated rewrites by Stuart Beattie and Brian Nelson. Setting a vampire film during a month-long polar night in Alaska is such a no-brainer concept that even Danny Huston's head undead proclaims that they "should have done this years ago". The primitive, click consonants language that the vampires utilize plus their tar-eyed, jagged teethed look are both evocative and gnarly. Save Ben Foster's "trying too hard Renfield", the performances are ideally good, with Huston especially making a pretty freaky, blood-sucking pact leader. Once the movie settles in after its iron-clad set up though, it becomes a bit monotonous. There are also minor to major annoyances like the fact that 90% of they time, the filmmakers did not bother to add digital breath to anybody even though they are dealing with sub-zero temperatures, plus the screechy monster noises grow as obnoxious as the ADD-riddled, nausea-inducing editing does. Even for what is essentially a silly genre movie, the finale comes off as both half-baked and borderline preposterous as well, something that probably sounded much more bad-ass on paper than it does on screen.
No comments:
Post a Comment