Dir - Emilie Blichfeldt
Overall: GOOD
A fairy tale reimagining with plenty of gore and set pieces that are not for the squeamish, Norwegian filmmaker Emilie Blichfeldt's full-length debut The Ugly Stepsister, (Den Stygge Stesøsteren), takes a brutal and purposely absurd look at how destitute wields monsters. What better way to examine such a concept than to turn the "Cinderella" fable on its ass, switching the focus from the title character's struggle to that of one of her evil stepmother's daughter's. Lea Myren goes through the ringer in such a role, starting out as the "ugly stepsister" to Thea Sofie Loch Næss' eventual princess, going through an outrageous ordeal that is not limited to barbaric cosmetic surgery, humiliating etiquette classes, and tapeworm swallowing. By the time that the royal ball is taking place and the Prince is preordained to choose his bride, Myren has undergone a full transformation, not just from a humble and only slightly homely girl with few options to a conventionally stunning debutante, but also to a ruthless byproduct of traumatizing conditioning. It is a film where even the winners are shown to have some unflattering muck on their resume, (plus the ick factor may be too much for most viewers to stomach), but it has a demented tone and admirable determination to slam home its beauty-obsessed themes.
Dir - Zach Cregger
Overall: GOOD
For his follow up to the insulting and ridiculous Barbarian, (one of the worst genre films of 2022), writer/director Zach Cregger thankfully sharpens his focus, crafting something with plenty of absurdity and ambition yet inventive enough to make its desperate attributes work. Weapons begins as a fairy tale, with a child narrating the premise before we kick into a slow structure that examines one character at a time. This gives the audience an explanation for each WTF moment that transpires, resetting things so that every layer complements the last one until we get to a fittingly ramped-up conclusion that pushes the tonal tight-wire act as far as it can go. The film is equal parts unsettling and humorous in this regard, miraculously so at the exact same time more often than not. While this could be seen a Cregger exhibiting reckless enthusiasm where preposterous things are happening in unassuming suburbia, he is so consistent with this mood melding that one has no choice but to accept it on its own terms. Performance wise, the heavy hitter cast do commendable work, even when things get jacked up to eleven and they have to participate in ludicrous behavior that, (once again), is as off-putting as it is funny. Some of Cregger's scare tactics are cheap and idiotic, themes are only present if one stretches for them, and there are a few loose ends scattered about, but its melding of grounded characters, cinematic gimmickry, and strangeness is unique enough to champion.
Dir - Luc Besson
Overall: GREAT
So many, (too many), Dracula adaptations have come down the pike since the dawn of cinema, but if we are going to have to sit through yet another one, at least it is given substantial tweaks by a filmmaker who admittingly does not like horror films and does not like Dracula. Enter Lur Besson's Dracula: A Love Tale, easily the most inventive, over the top, divergent, and hilarious reinterpretation of Bram Stoker's well traveled novel in recent memory. Besson was not inspired by the text so much as he was simply by the desire to work with the perpetually unsettling leading man Caleb Landry Jones again after their 2023 collaboration Dogman. How they stumbled upon Dracula of all things is anyone's guess, but perhaps it is the quasi-indifference to the source material that wields such wonderful results. The movie acts as a parody and homage to so many versions that have come before it, (Francis Ford Coppola's blockbuster being the most immediate), with Danny Elfman's typically bombastic score recalling just as many recognizable motifs. Yet innumerable plot tweaks and details like a dance montage through various countries, a perfume that renders women irresistible to the arch blood-sucker's charm, and terrible CGI gargoyles with martial arts skills just scratch the surface of the ridiculous direction that Besson goes for here. The production design is every bit as grandiose and the pacing every bit as frantic as Coppola's version, but the epic structure is refreshingly ambitious, bouncing between cartoony horror, to absurd melodrama, to tongue in cheek glee. Jones may not make an ideal Vlad Țepeș on paper, but he is fantastic here, chewing the scenery with a sly bravado that oozes charisma in every one of his frames. Christoph Waltz meets him just as well on such turf as the Van Helsing stand-in, and overall this represents the only acceptable avenue to go down when bringing something to the screen for the millionth time.
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