1960s British Horror Part Five - Fu Manchu Series

THE FACE OF FU MANCHU
(1965)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: MEH

Ignoring the ever present whitewashing that many films in typically Anglo Saxon countries produced during this time, (only one actual Asian speaking main character is actually Asian here), The Face of Fu Manchu has Christopher Lee as the fictitious, evil criminal mastermind and because it is Christopher Lee, it is therefor certainly watchable.  Thankfully, the legendary actor had enough class and good sense to not put on a fake Chinese accent to go along with the fake Chinese makeup, (though he would unfortunately hint more at that in later installments), but his title character is written as generically boring as they get despite how competently Lee portrays him.  The plot is so simple that much of the action seems forced and barely warrants much more than a complacent shrug from the audience.  The general lack of creativity in the script department unfortunately permeates the whole, which throws in a lot of drawn-out fist fights to make the film appear more exciting than it is, with said fist fights being just as lackluster as anything else transpiring.  Four more films immediately followed this one, (each one emerging a year apart as to effectively wear-out the franchise), but unfortunately things were already off to a very mediocre start to begin with here.

THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU
(1966)
Dir - Don Sharp
Overall: MEH

Once again Fu Manchu is up to his old tricks which in installment two is already starting to wear thin.  Handled again by one of Hammer's second tier directors Don Sharp, (The Kiss of the Vampire, Rasputin, the Mad Monk), this would be Sharp's last in the Fu Manchu series before he was replaced by Jeremy Summers the next go-round.  The role of Scottland Yard detective/Fu Manchu's arch enemy Nayland Smith was switched from Nigel Green to Douglas Wilmer, but besides that, The Brides of Fu Manchu is an almost identical run-through as the previous year's Face of.  Daughters of prominent scientists and political figures, (who all seem to conveniently be around their mid twenties and attractive), are gathered up by the Asian-by-way-of-Christopher-Lee tyrant to use as leverage to get his next doomsday weapon operational.  He thwarts the authorities hunting him every step of the way through the exact same means, (misleading them with disguises, red herrings, and announcing dates and locations of his attacks by way of the airwaves), until he does not anymore, then getting his headquarters blown up only to have him ominously threaten in voice-over that he will of course be back to fight another day.  Lee gets a little more screen time and we pretty much jump right into him back in action with no set up, but the retreaded story elements are so precise that it barely if all all warrants its existence in the first place.

THE VENGEANCE OF FU MANCHU
(1967)
Dir - Jeremy Summers
Overall: MEH

Switching directors with Jeremy Summers, (House of 1,000 Dolls), for round three in the Constantin Film produced Fu Manchu series, thankfully the villainous, title-character overlord at last changes up his world domination scheme.  Though he still cannot help but to kidnap somebody's daughter and torture them to get what he wants.  The man has an itch he seems incapable of not scratching.  The Vengeance of Fu Manchu is appropriately titled as the story focuses near exclusively on the would-be undoing of his arch enemy Nayland Smith, which up until a point is showcased somewhat interestingly.  We are given a rather large thematic-leap pill to swallow for the plot to gain momentum, but this is forgivable as the pace is kept up even though most of the action set pieces yet again seem to be padded on to fatten the fist fight quota.  There are also some very unmemorable side characters with rushed-to-non-existent backstories, two entirely pointless musical segments, and everything is more clumsy than clever in that Smith's at-long-last capture is depicted entirely off-screen.  The biggest flub though is in the ending which appears to have been improvised after they forgot to write one.  At this point it is assuredly laughable that no one ever bothers to check the recently blown-up remains of Fu Manchu's hideout to see if he is actually dead, instead just continually shrugging and literally proclaiming that they will probably hear from him again.  With two more sequels on the way, their very predictable prediction would prove correct.

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU
(1968)
Dir - Jesús Franco
Overall: WOOF

Well, bringing Jess Franco on board to helm the fourth Fu Manchu excursion noticeably changes a few aspects, none of which in a good way.  The first three films in the franchise being relatively competent if somewhat lifeless in many parts, The Blood of Fu Manchu is the first one to aggressively insult the viewer's intelligence.  To pit all of the blame on Franco would probably be unfair as most of the observable directorial choices he makes are innocent enough quirky camera angles, zooms, and more nudity and sadism than was previously on display.  Yet he also very jarringly inserted footage from another movie, (The Girl from Rio), and somebody somewhere made some dubious editing choices.  Lady Manchu Lin Tang, (Tsai Chin), now has randomly generic Eastern mystic powers for the first and only time, (for one scene), and has a brief moment of her cackling on her throne, which is also out of character.  The schlock level is jacked-up elsewhere as well with the worst character in the series, (some fat bandit pendejo called Sancho Lopez), getting way too much screen time and Dr. Petrie badly attempting comic relief about how cold his tea is getting while he is suffering in a dungeon.  It is the plot though that takes the most jabs at our intellect as Fu Manchu gets a bunch of kidnapped girls, (yes, more of that), to get bitten by a snake and then sends them all over the world to kiss and poison his enemies which will miraculously kill all of them at the exact same moment six weeks later when the moon is full.  When the heroes dash in at the last minute to save the day, do they unleash a stream of bullets anywhere near Manchu or his daughter who are just standing there watching?  Why would they do that when they can instead easily pick off all his no-name henchmen and for the forth straight time blow up his hideout and admit that he is probably going to return again later.  As Mr. Charles Brown would say, "Good grief".

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU
(1969)
Dir - Jesús Franco
Overall: WOOF

Well the "movie" that finally brought the Fu Manchu franchise to a mercy killing end is powerfully awful enough to have had the potential to end everyone's career involved, let alone the titular villain's fictional legacy.  After watching it, one can be at a complete understanding as to why it caused the cast of MST3K to break down into tears of agony.  Right out of the gate, the signs are pointing towards doom as footage from two different movies, (the earlier The Brides of Fu Manchu and inexplicably the Titanic film A Night to Remember), are spliced together to make up the opening scene.  In fact nearly all of the effect shots are taken from stock footage and other films, (including a moment where a dam gets demolished for absolutely no plot-worthy reason).  So there are assuredly budget problems here.  Things get increasingly muddled to the point of incomprehensibility and also wearisome as the running time clocks down, making the majority of The Castle of Fu Manchu the kind of bad cinema that is more boring than funny.  For a few moments sprinkled throughout and certainly all of the last twenty minutes though,  the bets are all off.  Characters easily escape as Fu Manchu watches them escape, characters whose names we do not even remember fall in love with absolutely no build up, a woman drowns in waste high water, a prisoner is declared to have no further use only to have further use in the next scene, a doctor easily bests several trained guards at unarmed combat, a scientist who can speak just fine is given a heart transplant in order to continue to speak just fine and when he is asked again to divulge a secret formula and simply says "no", Fu Mahchu gets it anyway on a piece of paper that someone nonchalantly hands him, and well, this will go on for about another thousand words if we are to list everything atrociously wrong here.

1970s Spanish Horror Part Three

HANNAH, QUEEN OF THE VAMPIRES
(1973)
Dir - Julio Salvador/Ray Danton
Overall: GOOD

This one is rather all over the place.  Existing mostly under the horror radar with a scant few reviews you can find online after some digging, Hanna, Queen of the Vampires, (La tumba de la isla maldita, Young Hanna, Queen of the Vampires, Crypt of the Living Dead, Vampire Woman), appears to be made up of footage shot by two different directors, placing its initial origin somewhere vague.  Was it a co-production from both America and Spain or a Spanish film that got sliced and diced by an American director for said market?  Or both?  Ray Danton was mostly known as a B actor, (and for being married to Creature from the Black Lagoon scream queen Julie Adams), but he is credited with being behind the lens on this one along with Julio Salvador who is obscure enough to not even have his own wikipedia page.  Script wise, the film adheres to as many cliches as it possibly can with rude, superstitious villagers, a shouting foreigner who follows science, cult worship, a mute wild man in place of a village idiot, creepy kids, a vampire who is barely threatening and easily thwarted, and of course a tomb, wooden stakes, and dogsbane, (in place of wolfsbane) to round up the undead specifics.  Yet despite the occasionally goofy story elements and some jerky editing, the pace is remarkably brisk and the entire film is satisfyingly atmospheric with a nice, nasty ending and a creepy if easily anticipated final tag to boot.

THE LEGEND OF BLOOD CASTLE
(1973)
Dir - Jorge Grau
Overall: MEH

Though mostly interesting yet ultimately brought down by a tedious flow and botched editing, Jorge Grau's The Legend of Blood Castle, (Bloody Ceremony), is a near recommendable vampire outing that succeeds at manipulating many of the sub-genre's stereotypes.  In this universe, dead vampires are put on trial, (wheeled into a lavish courtroom, coffin and all), and the entire town acts not as a manic, superstitious mob, but instead as a very well-organized and oiled, vampire investigating machine.  Vampirism and witchcraft both seem to just be normal things that are dealt with just as legally as say a land dispute.  This all makes it a very exclusive take on the Gothic, Hammer-esque style that otherwise the film closely follows, certainly taking into consideration that it is yet another re-working of the Elizabeth Bathory legend.  Oddly though, the film is sort of given an additional twist that seems to have been thrown in as an afterthought where instead of being shown flashbacks, it would have been far less confusing to let the scenes pan out in a natural, chronological fashion.  Instead, it rather looses the audience along the way and then abruptly tries to smooth it out once it is rather too late.  The set pieces though bounce back and forth rather tiresomely, which is yet another shame given all the potential to be thoroughly unique elsewhere.

WHO CAN KILL A CHILD?
(1976)
Dir - Narciso Ibáñez Serrador
Overall: GREAT

Screenwriter/director Narciso Ibáñez Serrador has only made two theatrically released films in his decades long career, instead being far more prolific in television.  Yet both of them, (this and 1970's The House That Screamed) are easily two of the best European horror films out there.  Adapted by himself and Juan José Plans from the latter's own novel titled El juego de los niños (The Children's Game), Who Can Kill a Child? is one of the many in the Village of the Damned vein where the premise alone is naturally disturbing to any viewer.  Serrandor simply excels with the material though.  The film could almost be criticized as being too long if not for the fact that all the time spent building and then simmering in the eerie fantasy is deliberately given enough depth and detail to work.  With an eight minute intro of war footage showcasing suffering children and then a full half hour of our main protagonists innocently portrayed without any cliche foreboding, by the time the film enters its second and third acts, everything unbelievable that transpires sits in a completely realistic set of circumstances.  The performances are as believable as they get and Serrador stages all of his heart-racing scenes in the most memorable way possible, with virtually no blunders to be found.  It is far more appropriately unflinching than exploitative and the only real downside to the experience is that Serrador has so very few such other works under his resume.  On that note, having two out of two masterpieces is highly commendable.

1970s Spanish Horror Part Two - The Blind Dead Series

TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD
(1972)
Dir - Amando de Ossorio
Overall: MEH

The Blind Dead film that started it all, (La noche del terror ciego as it was titled in it's native country), Tombs of the Blind Dead still stands as the absolute definitive example of having a page long plot dragged out to around ninety minutes by way of atrociously plodding pacing.  This is really such a painfully unforgivable quality as it nearly could have been avoided.  Amado de Ossorio, (who would write and direct all four films in the series), has a genuinely ideal premise at his disposal as well as some fantastic sets, music, monster design, and cinematography to work with.  All of these valuable elements nearly warrant the film being recognized as favorably as it often is.  Yet hardly any horror franchise has aggravatingly made its steadfast component one in which every character at every opportunity moves as slowly and illogically as possible while their pursuers move just as sluggish.  Add to this some insulting "horror movie logic" that would be too embracing even for a Goosebumps episode, (a door gets easily locked from the inside only to find that thirty seconds later it is impossible to open from the inside by the same person for one), and completely pointless, awful characters acting equally as moronic and you get the idea.  The amount of dedication made to make the good stuff work only to have the complete opposite amount of effort spent on making all the bad stuff at least competent puts this very sadly in the "what could have been" heap.

RETURN OF THE BLIND DEAD
(1973)
Dir - Amando de Ossorio
Overall: MEH

For the second molasses-leaking installment in the Blind Dead series, Amando de Ossorio basically slightly twisted his monster's cannon and threw them into a Night of the Living Dead-type scenario.  For Return of the Blind Dead, (Return of the Evil Dead, El ataque de los muertos sin ojos), the undead, blood obsessed, skeletal Knights Templar once again look and act exactly as slowly as they always do and once again everyone they come in contact with is a textbook horror movie moron who makes the worst, most foreseeable, asinine decisions at every opportunity.  Also rest assured, the laws of physics are continually ignored.  A chase scene transpires where people speed off away from the horseback riding Knights only to inexplicably get overcome by them a few miles away because we need the last act to take place while everyone is held up in a church.  Completely lazy storytelling mechanics like this make up every plot point where there is also a laughably untrustworthy hunchback who, (with virtually no effort), convinces a woman to abandon everyone and follow him into a tunnel.  Also, everyone assumes everyone is drunk on the phone and the fat corrupt Mayor of course tries to fuck over whoever he can to get away.  These are all just a scant few such annoying moments.  The gore level is amped up a bit more, (particularly in the non-English cut), and there is some nudity for this go round, but neither of these factors make the film anything more than a bottom barrel, pathetic genre excuse.

THE GHOST GALLEON
(1974)
Dir - Amando de Ossorio
Overall: MEH

Continuing to retcon his own mythos with each film, Amando de Ossorio ditched the crypts for a ghost ship in the third Blind Dead entry, reasonably titled The Ghost Galleon, (The Blind Dead 3, Horror of the Zombies, Ship of Zombies, The Ghost Ship of the Swimming Corpses).  As appropriate as it was to see the lackadaisically maneuvering Knights Templar emerge from their stone tombs and terrorize whoever stumbled upon them, utilizing that exact set up once again would have been very ill-advised.  So, thankfully the location at least has changed and what a marvelously horror-worthy one it is.  The ultra spooky pirate ship is laced with an unnatural fog and void of both sun and moonlight, has cobwebs galore, and even a giant skeleton head with horns mounted on a wall because why would you not have one of those?  Little to no backstory is given this time as that would hardly be necessary and also thankfully, the ending is rather splendidly if predictably done.  Yet since this is a Blind Dead movie, christ is it sluggish.  The first two acts are even slower to get over with than usual and the "plot" this time complies with no logic whatsoever.  Above even the first two installments though, the characters here are MORE obnoxious and make some of the dumbest decisions yet.  All of this complies with cliches left and right, with scantily clad women nonchalantly roaming the most macabre areas, (and preferring to stand still and scream as opposed to run away at full speed), the most deceitful character succumbing to his doom due to his treasure stealing greed, opposing sides using the words "superstition" and "nonsense" in the same argument, etc.  So basically the same shit...just now on a boat!

NIGHT OF THE SEAGULLS
(1975)
Dir - Amando de Ossorio
Overall: MEH

Well finally everything is wrapped up in a nice, (boring), package with the conclusion to the Blind Dead series Night of the Seagulls, (La noche de las gaviotas, Don't Go Out at Night, and Night of the Death Cult).  Identical to all the other segments, there is good and not good to be found.  It is expected that the Knights Templar's backstory will be redone to fit the setting and it is basically only given a minor tweak.  Yet it is also rather a nifty one at that, with the Knights feeding a fresh heart to a Lovecraftian deity statue as they feast on the blood of their victims, only to terrify the inhabitants of a village, (who of course will not just pack up and move to another village), every seven years with a specific set of horror movie rules that totally work.  The monsters still look cool, still sound cool, and still ride cool-looking horses in slow motion.  They are also still so slothlike that even a cripple could skip past them with little trouble.  Alas, the actual plot, though perfectly suited and familiar to such fair, is repetitive and wearisome and very, very tiring to actually watch.  It is in part Blind Dead fatigue simply setting in as we know all the beats, but the combination of a new couple moving to a town where everyone is a scared, superstitious, and rude asshole, nobody coming right out and actually saying what is going on even though that would save so much trouble, a creepy village idiot, (again), and girls being willingly then screamingly sacrificed all just feels like a wasted time.  Also the ending is pretty silly as the boring "hero" couple just accidentally knock a statue down and whelp, that is all she wrote for the Knights Templar who then collapse to the floor and barf all the blood they ate.  Roll credits.

1970s Jesús Franco Part Two

THE BLOODY JUDGE
(1970)
Overall: MEH

So many witch-burning films.  Jesús Franco sensationalized re-telling of the later days of Judge George Jeffreys in The Bloody Judge, (Proceso de las Brujas, Night of the Blood Monster), could afford to be a little more sensational.  For starters, it contains probably the least exciting battle sequence ever filmed, mostly because it plays more like stock footage with just an endless see of horses, canons, and soldiers that have no names doing the whole war thing over dramatic marching music.  That is just one relatively minor and somewhat amusing blunder though.  Christopher Lee is very Christopher Leey as the stereotypical, ruthless Judge who coldly condemns every accused witch he comes across, of course has his own hypocritically lustful intentions, and gets his comeuppance at the end.  Though his preordained demise is anything but satisfying as he just kind of randomly faints to death after witnessing someone else get what is heading his way.  Even Franco's nearly mandated nudity/violence quota is also noticeably diminished.  The only really surprising element to the sub-genre here is that he forgoes abundant scenes of eye-wincing, dungeon-set torture.  We get a few of those, but really, (for a Franco film in particular), it is "disappointing" to instead spend extensive amounts of screen time talking politics, alliances, betrayals, and watching villainous brutes calling women "whores", "bitches", "wenches" and then smacking them around.

COUNT DRACULA
(1970)
Overall: MEH

On paper, this Dracula adaptation from Jesús Franco should work better than it does.  It has both Christopher Lee once again in the lead that he had already long made famous for Hammer Studios AND has Klaus Kinski ideally cast as Renfield a mere nine years before he would play the Count himself in Werner Herzog's Nosferatu remake.  Though the concept of vampires, a Gothic setting, and sexual overtones all seem ideal for such a filmmaker to take on, the results in Count Dracula are far from satisfying.  First off, Kinski is absolutely wasted as the would-be ranting and raving lunatic Renfield.  He instead spends all of his handful of scenes staring off into space and only utters a single word of dialog.  For his part, Lee gets to indulge in a rather faithful to the novel speech proclaiming his zealous, ancestral pride, but otherwise he is comparably dull when compared to even his phoned-in, later Hammer Dracula sequel performances.  He is off camera for large chunks of time and when he does show up, he pretty much just stares menacingly for a few seconds.  If you were expecting nudity at every opportunity, there is absolutely zero to be found.  Do not worry though, there is gallons of zooms, not even trying day for night sequences, and plenty of "people walking around" scenes.  The screenplay was credited to no fewer than seven people and it certainly reeks of having too many cooks in the kitchen.  Once the first relatively straight forward act is over, the movie waddles off at a snails pace and seems to lose all focus by the finale, the last twenty minutes or so coming off as if they were shooting it chronologically and were running out of film stock and money.

THE BARE BREASTED COUNTESS
(1975)
Overall: WOOF

There are pointless, meandering, and suffocatingly boring vampire films and then there is The Bare Breasted Countess, (Female Vampire, various others).  Three different versions under even more titles exist, (a "normal" horror one, a softcore erotic one, and a still soft yet more genitalia revealing pornographic one), but you would be very hard pressed to find any of them comprehensible let alone entertaining.  Franco's indulgences of combining the absolute bare, (har, har), minimum storytelling with tedious, uninteresting shots of people moving as slow as humanly possible through random terrains finds its apex here.  Other directors such as Jean Rollin come to mind in utilizing similar ingredients to their bizarre, seductive works, but Franco's images are so vapid that combined with the almost unwatchable pacing, the film is a mindless headache.  Lead actress/Fraco's eventual wife Lina Romay plays a mute whose only actions are to look into the camera, nod her head a few times, and thrust her body on anyone and anything that she comes in contact with.  Meanwhile there is a sort-of subplot with some doctors and inspectors not-really-at-all investigating her murders and Jack Taylor narrates a bunch of nonsense that until about halfway through the film leads us to believe that his scenes were taken from a completely different movie.  Franco seems to be intentionally dreaming up something artistically important here as he compared the film to Nagisa Oshima's far superior In the Realm of the Senses, but sadly this is just an amateurish mess that cannot honestly be enjoyed on any level.

1970s Jesús Franco Part One

VAMPYROS LESBOS
(1970)
Overall: MEH

The praise granted to the music for Jesús Franco's seminal lesbian vampire film aptly titled Vampyros Lesbos, (Las Vampiras), is all levels of baffling.  Euro-horror in particular, (amongst its many traits), had a tradition of randomly inappropriate film scores and this one "delivers" in that category, nearly exceeding all others.  Only a few mere seconds at a time are the only breaks we get from the sitar-laced, psychedelic garage band score that is upbeat and jaunty at mostly arbitrary times.  It never once enhances any kind of disturbing or eerie mood and is consistently obnoxious and ill-fitting.  Considering that the music was co-written by Franco himself and was certainly not a misplaced afterthought, this leads one to conclude that it was knowingly meant to convey some kind of tone.  As a "horror" experience, the movie is unacceptable, meaning that it is more akin to the type of ethereal exploitation that Franco helped expose to a wider audience here.  Yet with the script being awful even for a Franco film and the direction bordering on inept, (with sluggish pacing, enormous plot holes, and haphazard editing), it is certainly avant, but more in a laughable, inadvertent way.  There are a select few almost memorable moments though and the completely wooden performances do in fact give it a successfully surreal quality of sorts.

A VIRGIN AMONG THE LIVING DEAD
(1973)
Overall: MEH

Infamously butchered with added pornographic scenes upon its release in France and Italy and then re-edited again with totally unrelated zombie footage shot by a hired Jean Rollin in 1981, A Virgin Among the Living Dead, (A comme apocalypse, Among the Living Dead, Christina chez les morts vivants, Christina, princesse de l'erotisme, Christina, Sex Princess, La nuit des etoiles filantes, Los suenos eroticos de Christine, and Zombie 4), is one of the filmmaker's very rare consistent offerings.  Well, at least in its original, Jesús Franco-cut, unmangled form.  Many hallmarks of Franco and Euro exploitation cinema in general are a plenty, with liberal amounts of nudity, a completely logic-defying script, terrible dubbing, bizarre performances, and tedious pacing.  Yet for once, all of these pieces seem to concoct a satisfyingly odd endeavor.  What barely qualifies as a "plot" is certainly confused, but it creates such an offbeat result that it becomes more interesting than boring as it goes along.  Rarely as well, the ending is downplayed in a very somber and bewitching way and provides the film with one of its strongest moments.  Often times in Euro-trash, (particularly Franco's generally embarrassing brand of it), dreamlike storytelling is fighting such an uphill battle that it is basically a wild dice roll if any of it ends up working.  This film occasional rides that fine line of tipping into inanity, but whether it rides it luckily or not, the outcome thankfully attains its goal.

JACK THE RIPPER
(1976)
Overall: MEH

Overtly gruesome in a few instances of course, Jesús Franco's West Germany/Swiss co-produced Jack the Ripper, (Der Dirnenmörder von London), seems to have the ideal casting choice in the title character, with Klaus Kinski in a roll he was practically born for.  Portraying very unnerved men who were brimming with inhuman amounts of rage just under their unwholesomely quiet and restrained demeanor was something that came all too natural to the German actor and he barely comes off as acting here.  That said, one certainly would not go as far as to expect him to rape women and cut their tits off right afterwards in real life.  Franco maintains his usual emphasis on nudity and vulgarity, that latter aspect of which provides the film with some crass humor at parts.  There is nothing particularly erotic here, but this seems to be intended as its unwholesome, sexual murder elements are meant to be repugnant.  Whereas the burlesque moments in front of cackling Brits all brimful of ale are equal parts exploitative, though relatively harmless.  Besides pacing issues which are to be expected, the unfortunate final act really falls apart in the logic department with a woman willingly putting herself in harms way, followed by easily one of the least satisfying endings that any slasher horror movie has ever had.  So it is ultimately a bit of a missed opportunity save Kinski's effortlessly spot-on performance.

1960s British Horror Part Four

DOCTOR BLOOD'S COFFIN
(1961)
Dir - Sidney J. Furie
Overall: WOOF

Grievously, the second color film on record to depict the modern day, badly decomposed, rotting corpse-like zombie is very lousy.  This is despite it featuring renowned scream queen Hazel Court and being directed by the man who would make the amazing The Entity two decades later.  Doctor Blood's Coffin was produced on the cheap and shot largely on location in the Cornwall county of South West England, both details of which are more exciting than anything that happens in the actual movie.  The script has deservedly been scrutinized as bordering on idiotic, but the real mishap is how boring of an experience this mad scientist playing god, lazy hodgepodge is.  There are no twists and even less suspense, plus the main title character, (the very manly shouldered Kieron Moore), behaves so obnoxiously self-centered that it is hardly believable that anyone acts surprised when they find out what he is up to.  Watch him go on romantic walks with a clueless, smiling nurse and try not to laugh at how he barely lets her get a word in as he endlessly rattles off his life story and how much he really, really cannot stand being told what to do.   Nice guy to date.  You will also have to wait until the very last five minutes to get any kind of a horror movie pay off, which is so little, so late, (and so lame), that it does the opposite of saving the previous eighty-seven minutes from providing you with an utterly pointless ordeal.

NIGHT OF THE EAGLE
(1962)
Dir - Sidney Hayers
Overall: GREAT

With one other adaptation before it, (1944's Weird Woman, with Lon Chaney Jr.), and a comedy version in 1979, (Witches' Brew, with Teri Garr), Fritz Leiber's novel Conjure Wife found its ideal on-screen envisioning with 1962's Night of the Eagle, (Burn, Witch, Burn).  Prolific horror screenplay writers Richard Matheson, Charles Beaumont, and George Baxt, all collaborated on this version and the result directed by Sidney Hayers is one of the best "skeptic verses the supernatural as premise" psychological horror excursions ever done.  Hayers' direction is superb, with various subtle to not so subtle camera tricks, sound cues, and visual suggestions liberally splashed around everywhere.  By giving us few details, the script expertly works on the viewer's psyche just as it does on the lead protagonist's Norman Taylor, (a perfectly cast Peter Wyngarde).  Even the usually annoying, stating the obvious voice-overs work in this context as they further convey his desperate growing doubt.  Everything is feverishly brought up to the type of conclusion that clashes all logic with a bombardment of the uncanny, not one minute of which is wasted with any cinematic padding.

THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS
(1967)
Dir - Roman Polanski
Overall: MEH

On the very impressive list of Roman Polanski's paramount works, (which also happens to include three other reputable horror films), his first in color The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck really is not one of them.  Written by Polanski and French screenwriter Gérard Brach, this is a premeditated farce of the Hammer horror films and one where the humor more often than not falls flat.  There are a couple of clever scenes, humorously hammy performances, and adept costumes and set design, but only a very small amount of chuckles to be had.  The slapstick is not so much tedious as it is awkward and dull, and the page-long, (at most), plot is not playful enough with its cliches to enthuse much laughter.  The main characters, (Polanski himself as a bumbling, whimpish sidekick and Jack MacGowran as the trivially goofy professor and self-proclaimed vampire hunter), are just kind of aimlessly inept and no opportunity is taken to even give a sprinkling into their mentor/pupil relationship.  Of course viewed today, the brash yet soft sexual overtones unfortunately come off as incidentally creepy what with Polanski's real life, infamous sexual misconduct scandal.  Though at the time, these are clearly meant to be yet another send-up ingredient to the Gothic Hammer films that reveled in displaying copious amounts of cleavage.  Ultimately there are better vampire, comedy, and Polanski movies out there though.

1960s British Horror Part Three

THE CITY OF THE DEAD
(1960)
Dir - John Llewellyn Moxey
Overall: GOOD

Technically kind of not really the first Amicus production as it was made jointly by producers Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg two years before they would launch their film company proper, The City of the Dead, (Horror Hotel), has endured as an excellent British witchcraft foray, even if most of the British actors are intentionally and convincingly putting on American accents.  Prolific cinematographer Desmond Dickinson seeps every possible frame that takes place in the cursed, Massachusetts town of Whitewood with pitch black shadows and enough fog per shot to suit an entire rock band's arena tour.  The typical elements of dismissive skeptics, superstitious locals, and sinister, smirking villains that ooze amplified creepiness are all present and the backdrop of a small village cursed for centuries by witches has been done more than enough times to find no surprising twists here.  Yet director John Moxey (who would also later helm the first Night Stalker film), keeps everything moving cleverly and quite briskly, making it a smooth ride to be sucked up into all the genre tropes that were still standard and charming enough then.  Though only granted a small handful of scenes in a minor role, Christopher Lee displays the type of effortlessly menacing skill that he always had in front of the camera, making his presence a very welcome addition.

EYE OF THE DEVIL
(1966)
Dir - J. Lee Thompson
Overall: GOOD

Filmmaker J. Lee Thompson would end up being behind the lens for the last two installments in the original Planet of the Apes franchise, and for Eye of the Devil, he was a last minute addition after original director Sidney J. Furie was replaced by Michael Anderson only to have the latter fall ill.  Thompson's style here is rather elaborate with numerous dutch angles, quick cuts, and perhaps more zooms than any ninety-minute movie has ever had.  This keeps the viewer on edge most of the time as the mystery becomes increasingly cloudy.  It is a minor fault that through some of the editing, the plot ends up being perhaps unintentionally difficult to get a hold of.  Still, there is a well maintained level of unease with how very subtle the actual behavior of the cast often yet not always comes across, making what appears to be normal and far from malign occurrences seem much more sinister.  With everyone from Donald Pleasence, David Niven, David Hemmings, Deborah Kerr, and Sharon Tate in her first credited film performance, the cast is certainly recognizable and efficient.  As far as any gore or shock levels, Eye of the Devil is nonexistent in both, (which is not at all a handicap), but later masterpieces such as The Wicker Man particularly would revisit similar themes and excel tremendously more at them.

THE SHUTTERED ROOM
(1967)
Dir - David Greene
Overall: WOOF

Based off the short story by August Derleth and H.P. Lovecraft, (and parodied either directly or indirectly in The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror VII"), there is casting, setting, dubbing, pacing, editing, musical, and logical problems in The Shuttered Room.  Shot in England with a primarily British cast, the film is set in Massachusetts and Oliver Reed's heavily distinct, manly-man-man voice almost sounds dubbed with his distracting, American accent.  This seems unnecessary since either cast someone else in said role or maybe switch the location to merry ole England so everyone can talk in their native tongue.  Hardly anything at all happens for the majority of the film's running time and several obvious cuts could have been made to move things along.  Yet when the editor is given liberty to leave stuff out of the picture in the finale, it becomes very sloppy as to convey what logically should be happening.  Which brings us to an all too common problem in that several times, characters do things that are aggravatingly ill-advised.  You and your wife have been continually harassed by a bunch of jacked-up and violent local yokels since you arrived?  Why not give one of them who is hitchhiking a lift the day after he and his pals attempted to rape your wife?  Makes perfect sense.  Lastly, the jazz soundtrack is completely inappropriate which ruins any suspenseful mood that could have otherwise been created.