1930s American Horror Part Nine

SECRET OF THE BLUE ROOM
(1933)
Dir - Kurt Neumann
Overall: MEH

 

Universal's version of the German film Geheimnis des blauen Zimmers would get the remake treatment from the studio two more times in the following decade and some change, with horror regulars Lionel Atwill and Gloria Stuart showing up here.  Secret of the Blue Room has a rudimentary, old dark house premise of a handful of people staying at a spacious manner and daring each other to sleep in the infamous blue room of the title; a room that three people had previously perished in at one o'clock in the AM.  The Old Dark House element is even more prominent since portions of the set where allegedly utilized on the James Whale-directed classic the previous year, which also starred Stewart of course.  Though silly in some respects with plot holes galore, it is handled with melodramatic professionalism from its cast and director Kurt Neumann maintains a stead pace.  The spooky atmosphere proves to be a red herring as things quickly reduce to a typical whodunit scenario of a police inspector conducting interviews and various characters who are withholding pivotal information, but it gets in and out agreeably.

THE NINTH GUEST
(1934)
Dir - Roy William Neill
Overall: MEH

A precursor to Agatha Christie's famed, 1939 novel And Then There Were None, The Ninth Guest from Columbia Pictures features an identical plot of several people trapped in a mansion, getting picked off in dramatic fashion one at a time as their unseen host psychologically torments them.  Unfortunately though, it is less tightly-scripted than it pretends to be and suffers from forgettable characters and insufficient pacing from director Roy William Neill, who had been making movies since the 1910s.  The cast of working character actors go through the motions sufficiently enough and there are some grisly deaths in Garnet Weston's script; a script that was based on the Owen Davis' play of the same name, itself an adaptation of Bruce Manning's book The Invisible Host.  An electric gate and acid-tainted alcohol do away with several characters, yet it happens with pinpoint procession from the man on the radio who of course is actually one of the guests and turns on the evil mugging once exposed.  The first act sinks the proceedings before they even get going though, hilariously showing us everyone's telegrammed invitation about seven dozen times just in case theater patrons from the day were late getting to their seats.

THE RETURN OF DOCTOR X
(1939)
Dir - Vincent Sherman
Overall: MEH

 

Notable as the only horror movie to star Humphrey Bogart, The Return of Doctor X is a sequel in name only to the Lionel Atwill/Fay Wray-starred Doctor X from six years prior.  Bogart's performance is minor and it was done at a time in his career when he was typecast as heavies for the Warner Bros. B-unit, but he easily stands as the most interesting aspect here.  Donning a limp, spectacles, a pale completion, and a white streak in his hair, he remains unsettling throughout and easily outshines the rest of the stock and forgettable characters that he has to work against.  On that note, the movie is an uninspired yawn, mostly focusing on Wayne Morris' golly-shucks news reporter who makes a bland, top-billed protagonist to say the least.  Based on the short story "The Doctor's Secret" by William J. Makin, it concerns the usual pseudoscience nonsense of reviving dead tissue, a noble cause that has to run into some hick-ups or else there would be no tale to tell.  Though hardly a conventional vampire yarn, Bogart's resurrected doctor of the title does need to kill and garnish human blood in order to prologue his artificial existence.  Sadly, exciting set pieces are non-existent and everyone prattles on and on instead, but it is almost a passable curiosity due to Bogie's involvement.

2024 Horror Part Three

I SAW THE TV GLOW
Dir - Jane Schoenbrun
Overall: GREAT

 

As their follow up to the exemplary low-key We're All Going to the World's Fair, writer/director Jane Schoenbrun tackles many complicated facets of the transgender experience with a more explicit pallet to play with.  For those unfamiliar with the fact that Schoenbrun their-self is non-binary, I Saw the TV Glow may read more readily as a frightening metaphor for aging out of what gets us through our youth, in this case a fictitious television show that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer in all but name, (slammed home by the fact that Amber Benson herself makes a cameo).  Any teenagers or adults with high anxiety or any other spectrum afflictions who lament the fact that life keeps cruising by to a bleak outcome can relate to what Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine are going through here, which is a testament to Schoenbrun's broad ambition that this is not exclusively akin to those who struggle with gender or sexual identity.  Make no mistake though, those theme are at the forefront of a vividly photographed and designed, (as well as beautifully acted), work that is one of the most poignant genre films about what we feel our life should be compared to what we settle on making it.

ABIGAIL
Dir - Matt Bettinelli-Olpin/Tyler Gillett
Overall: MEH

 

The latest from the Radio Silence filmmaking duo of Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett is a mostly fun, R-rated horror romp, but it lays on the bombastic schlock to ruining levels in its unsatisfactory ending.  Somewhere along the line, (possibly always?), vampires are required to chew the scenery as much as they do their victims and up until a point, Abigail works its comedic shtick appropriately with all of the blood-suckers gaining superhuman quipping and smirking abilities.  While the characters and all of the plot points list more like a series of cliches than anything inventive, the cast knows the assignment and it is hard not to fall for Alisha Weir in particular as the ballerina-dancing undead of the title who proves to be a badass amongst a wise-cracking gang of criminals that are trapped in a mansion with her.  There are no loose ends in the script department as it plays out to popcorn-munching payoffs and setups the whole way through, but as is often the case with contemporary genre hybrids, the character's emotional hooks are handled too seriously and prove to be arguably unnecessary when the whole thing could have benefited from an exclusively goofy tone.  That said, the finale does go big and dumb, but even with its imperfections in tow, there are still several laugh-out-loud moments to get a kick out of.

HANDLING THE UNDEAD

Dir - Thea Hvistendahl

Overall: MEH

 

Relentlessly still and ultimately just as unwavering in its misery, Handling the Undead is the latest cinematic adaptation of one of John Ajvide Lindqvist's novels.  Sadly, it is weaker than both Let the Right One In and Border since its perpetual tone offers up nothing more than ninety-odd minutes of people quietly suffering the emotional trauma of first having their loved ones die and then getting false hope that they are miraculously spared that loss.  Still, the film and the story are not entirely wasted on barely-written characters that we never get to know or a lingering feeling of pointless dread.  The first act is expertly handled by director Thea Hvistendahl, this being her full-length debut and continuing the trajectory of Lindqvist working with a different filmmaker on each of his projects.  Since we do not know where things are headed, the lack of dialog and bouncing between three different and seemingly mundane narratives that may or may not be happening simultaneously gives it a fascinating sense of unease.  Sort of like what Chantal Akerman's take on a genre film would be.  Unfortunately once we arrive at what type of horror category this falls into, the movie stops dead, (pun intended), in its tracks and then it is only a matter of time before it arrives at its predictably dismal conclusion.  It works to a point as a mood piece, but it is too undercooked to deliver on its potential.

2024 Horror Part Two

ARCADIAN

Dir - Benjamin Brewer

Overall: MEH

 

Director Benjamin Brewer, producer/writer Michael Nilon, and star Nicolas Cage all lock horns again with the post-apocalyptic snore-fest Arcadian; an international co-production that takes a cold and lazy approach to tired concepts that it barely bothers to explore.  There are problems here from top-to-bottom, first of all with an uninspired story about families who have learned to meagerly survive the end of civilization against freakish creatures that burrow underground and bang on doors.  Said monsters look as realistic as Who Framed Roger Rabbit? cartoons,(terribly), digitally rendered to the point of unintended hysterics.  Not that you get too many clear looks at them in the first place since Frank Mobilio's exclusively hand-held cinematography gives everything a murky aesthetic that is as ugly as it is tiring to decipher.  Also, none of the characters are properly fleshed-out so that their harrowing plot falls on deaf ears as things escalate, plus their dialog is sappy and embarrassing.  Cage is more restrained than usual even if he disappears for the entire second act, but this is a case where some of his patented, gonzo scenery-chewing could have actually given the movie a much-needed adrenaline shot.

 

HUMANE

Dir - Caitlin Cronenberg

Overall: MEH

 

The first full-length Humane from Caitlin Cronenberg is a different beast than the famed body horror output of her father David or her brother Brandon's similarly-veined psychological outings.  Instead, it is a Purge-style black comedy that misses its mark, which is not surprising due to its implausible plot development that skews plenty of divisive political paranoia to ridiculous lengths.  Depending on the tinfoil hat-wearing willingness of the viewer, the ideas that writer/producer Michael Sparaga's script offers up may in fact seem frighteningly plausible.  Yet it still comes off as silly that a large enough number of the populous would willingly euthanize themselves for a government payout due to overpopulation and environmental concerns.  Equally far-fetched is the immediately violent way that a family of one-percenters behaves when forced to get one of themselves on the chopping block, which is when the film's more humorous elements tiptoe into possible unintentionally funny terrain.  Unfortunately, Caitlin Cronenberg lacks the visual storytelling expertise of her own family members, merely shooting her chaotic thriller in a competent though formulaic fashion.  It is not a total disaster, with some solid performances to appreciate if one can forgive the fact that they all play unlikable characters, as well as turning a blind eye to the narrative shortcomings and pedestrian presentation.

 

STING

Dir - Kiah Roache-Turner

Overall: MEH

 

It has been a minute since we got a killer spider movie with some buzz, but regrettably, the one that we are presented with here in Sting is a tonal mess of a schlock fest.  An Australian/American co-production that was shot in the former country, writer/director Kiah Roache-Turner is channeling the type of monster B-movie juice found in Arachnophobia and Tremors, but he infuses it with lame-brained humor and a sappy story-line.  This is a common faux pas with many a horror film that makes the goofy parts too goofy and the serious parts too serious, trying to ride that thin line without committing enough to either side in order to make them work.  Everyone on screen here is giving it their all, (even if comedian Jermaine Fowler is unfortunately hired as the stereotypical "funny black guy" and is more eyeball-rollingly cliched than amusing), but watching a struggling dad and his troubled stepdaughter come to emotionally devastating blows with each other while a senile grandma keeps forgetting that she called the exterminators already just makes for confused final product.  Thankfully, there are some wonderful and icky practical effects work, but the cartoony shots of the title arachnid in its small-scale form are as embarrassing as any CGI out there.

2024 Horror Part One

IMMACULATE

Dir - Michael Mohan

Overall: MEH

The latest collaboration Immaculate between director Michael Mohan and actor Sydney Sweeney can be seen as a nunsploitation response to Roe v. Wade being overturned, but the schlock-heavy execution leaves something to be desired.  In development hell for a decade, Sweeney got enough recent cred to get it greenlit under her own production company Fifty-Fifty Films.  Shooting it in Rome with mostly local actors to the country gives it a level of Euro-trash authenticity that hearkens back to convent horror's heyday.  Sweeney is great in the lead, succumbing to a form of, (as the title would suggest), immaculate conception that is more removed from god's divine providence than would be preferable, plus the movie does not skimp on its unflattering brutality and exploitation value, (though anyone expecting lustful nuns engaging in naked behavior will have to look elsewhere).  The third act reveal is more silly than gasp-worthy and as Mohan's first foray into the genre, he plays it too conventionally to elevate what is not the most refreshing material in the first place.  Inconsistent yet not without some unintentionally goofy charm, (and a nasty ending to boot), it gets a solid B for effort.

BRAMAYUGAM

Dir - Rahul Sadasivan

Overall: MEH

A black and white, Malayalam folk horror epic from filmmaker Rahul Sadasivan, Bramayugam, (The Age of Madness), is richly photographed and suffocating with ominous atmosphere, but it also extends its dark fairy tale story to the point of over-indulgence.  Notable for containing a command performance from the ridiculously prolific actor Mammootty, (whose career is over four-hundred films deep at this writing), it delves deep into Kerala folklore, trapping its two protagonists in a dilapidated mansion by a mysterious and terrifying Master who is likewise supernaturally bound to the place.  Details are slowly dished out as to what is going on and by the movie's drawn-out climax, the mystery has been exhaustively covered.  While immersive up until a point due to Shehnad Jalal's cinematography, the wet, muddy, and claustrophobic set design, Christo Xavier's persistently foreboding music, and the painstaking patience that Sadasivan exhibits in its pacing, frustration unfortunately sets in as we meander like the characters do in an endless stream of inescapable dread.  The narrative falls apart under the presentation's sheer weight and overstays its welcome by at least thirty to forty minutes, but it still weaves a supernatural spell through its themes of power manipulation, fate, and the silence of any intervening god.

EXHUMA

Dir - Jang Jae-hyun

Overall: GOOD

 

For his latest and most ambitious supernatural project Exhuma, writer/director Jang Jae-hyun delivers a folk horror tale that is epic in scope and treats its material with an impressive amount of detail and grit.  Though the narrative is broken up into several chapters, it comes off as two films that are run right after each other.  The first arc concludes at about an hour in and is already packed with plenty of ominous folklore and a heart-racing climax, making it necessary for the events of the second half to be that much more dark and explicit.  While this may prove exhausting for some viewers since Jang never eases up on the grim tone that unveils more and more layers to shaman mysticism and ancient curses, the dire presentation gives this a sophisticated edge that disguises what could have been mere schlock-ridden occult shenanigans.  The cast is excellent, particularly Choi Min-sik and Kim Go-eun as a Feng shui master and shaman respectively, both of whom spend more time confused and paralyzed in their tracks than in displaying otherworldly wisdom and confidence.  Some CGIed foxes notwithstanding, Jang's insistence on using practical effects, plus a last act reveal of an imposing presence, (to say the least), are both appreciated.

2023 Horror Part Eighteen

HORROR IN THE HIGH DESERT 2: MINERVA

Dir - Dutch Marich
Overall: MEH

Indie filmmaker Dutch Marich pulls off an unsatisfying bait-and-switch with Horror in the High Desert 2: Minerva, a follow-up to his 2021 film Horror in the High Desert that utilizes the same mockumentary framework while detouring with a different story that only mentions the events from the first film in passing, once again promising to get back to them later.  So yes, this one ends on another cliffhanger to try and garnish interest in further developments, yet by the looks of things, Marich may lose viewers instead of continuing to hook them along the way.  As opposed to its predecessor, there is no long-winded build up here as we get right to the unsettling found footage in a fresh new missing case; the woman of the title who was a geology student shacked up at a creepy, isolated trailer with a vaguely sinister past.  Part of the problem is that while we are given a lot of stuff to look at that spans several years and various characters, it is frustratingly undecipherable.  Marich is going for a teasing approach to keep us invested as to what is luring in such murky, dark, and poorly photographed shots, but the mystery is deepened without any interesting revelations.  We also have a haphazard side-plot that takes up the entire third act and some silly paintings of creepy figures in the woods, making this a bloated and meandering side-step that tries our patience in place of delivering genuine chills.

WHERE THE DEVIL ROAMS

Dir - John Adams/Zelda Adams/Toby Poser

Overall: MEH

The latest from the Adams family who write, produce, direct, shoot, and star in their own independent horror films, Where the Devil Roams is another quirky slice of violent, occult-fueled Americana that recalls their 2018 movie The Hatred.  Set during the Great Depression where people are reeling from the devastation of World War I, it has the Adamses portraying a family of traveling carnie folk who occasionally murder people along their route.  Aesthetically, the digital film quality is too clean and low-end to properly convey the time period, but the team's penchant for grimy, goth rock surreal flashes, their own metal band H6llB6nd6r providing a not-at-all-time-accurate soundtrack, and characters routinely rhyming, singing, doing interpretative theater, and poetically pontificating about the Devil and the like all rides the line of being cringy, yet also deliberately macabre and kitschy.  As has steadily been the case, the cinematic output of Toby Poser and John and Zelda Adams is more fun than good, but if this is any indication, it is also getting more grand and bizarre which in their case is not a bad thing.

 

NEW LIFE

Dir - John Rosman

Overall: MEH

 

A promising if imperfect debut from writer/director John Rosman, New Life has a bare-bones premise that equally focuses on two women who are undergoing traumatic experiences, but it utilizes cheap horror tactics that undermine a solid story about the unavoidable encroachment of life's cruel hand.  Sonya Walger and Haley Erin's characters would otherwise have no reason to cross each other's paths, but when the later unknowingly becomes an asymptomatic host to an aggressive virus that reduces anyone who comes in contact with it to a blood-thirsty puss zombie, Walger's fixer, (who has recently been diagnosed with her own comparatively more slow-moving disease), must hunt the poor, confused, and terrified lady down.  It makes for a heart-wrenching watch and both actors are ideally cast as women who are going through the motions to survive, only for their ailments to get the better of them come hell or high water.  The budget is modest and besides some nasty blood work, it is void of special effects, all of which makes it agreeably intimate.  Sadly, we also have stupid jump scares and when a handful of poor saps become fully infected, they lurch at the camera and omit the same stock, loud screechy monster noise that is in virtually every single contemporary horror movie.  Take that lazy nonsense out of the equation and play everything without a genre-pandering agenda and you have a duel, post-pandemic character study that is well-done and potent.

2023 Horror Part Seventeen

THE CONFERENCE
Dir - Patrik Eklund
Overall: MEH

 

The second full-length from Swedish filmmaker Patrik Eklund, The Conference, (Konferensen), takes the office space horror comedy into the woods.  Because so, so, so many slasher movies have been barfed out with an identical structure for over four decades now, one or two differentiating angles are apparently all that it takes to get another one greenlit.  Not that Sweden cinema is as immersed with the slasher sub-genre as on the other side of the Atlantic, (or Italy for that matter), but besides the language that everyone speaks, the company retreat via Friday the 13th gimmick, and the gradual reveal that our killer bumbles his way through his murders as often as his schlubby victims get the better of him, this is the same slice and dice nonsense that has been done a billion times.  Three of the corporate shill characters are eccentric douchebags, with Adam Lundgren being a more obnoxious villain than a fun one, plus the actual murderer refuses to talk and puts on a big stupid mask that he cannot possibly see out of, let alone have superhuman periphery vision in.  Thankfully though, the finale showdown has the least-likely-to-survive minor players step up to the plate and they fend for themselves in a manner that is at least kind of intentionally funny.

SOMEWHERE QUIET

Dir - Olivia West Lloyd

Overall: MEH

 

Milking the "gaslighting women" cliche for all that it is worth, writer/director Olivia West Lloyd's Somewhere Quiet is the sixth horror film in a row to feature Marin Ireland and the second from 2023 where she ends up tied to a banister in a basement.  Lloyd intentionally explores a post-final girl scenario where a woman tries to adjust to some semblance of normalcy after getting kidnapped, yet she bashes the idea that nothing is as it seems to the point of, (likely), deliberate frustration.  Jennifer Kim is sufficient in the lead, coming across like a helplessly broken woman who painfully begins to realize that trust is no longer an option for her to bestow on anyone, least of all her husband who is either doing his best and feeling the weight of his partner's trauma or was behind that trauma the entire time.  While it is not refreshing that Lloyd provides no answers, she also does not stage this as a hackneyed tale of a woman overcoming her PSD to face the world with newfound optimism and this gives the movie a grim edge over what it could have been under a more digestible framework.  Still too unpleasant and nebulous to enjoy, but it captures a type of inescapable hopelessness that few films have the determination to stick with.

GODZILLA MINUS ONE
Dir - Takashi Yamazaki
Overall: GOOD

Seventy years and gallons of entries in, Toho's Godzilla franchise achieved its most lauded spectacle with Takashi Yamazaki's Godzilla Minus One, (Gojira Mainasu Wan); yet another reboot that became the most globally appreciated perhaps in the series' history.  No small feat for the title monster that will never die, and this installment while imperfect still mitigates many of the given flaws in kaiju movies.  Godzilla has a minimal amount of screen time yet again, but Yamazaki's attempt to make him terrifying for once actually pays off, particularly in his first ocean appearance which is arguably the most nail-biting sequence that the series ever produced.  The choice to focus the narrative on a single ex-kamikaze pilot just after Japan's rehabilitation from World War II is a stellar move, not just because it bypasses the lazy and boring concept of military people and scientists trying to concoct one failure of a Godzilla-killing plan after the other, but because Ryunosuke Kamiki's antagonist is beautifully compelling.  Yamazaki's script dips too much into Spielbergian syrup in its closing act where every side character and previous set-up gets delivered with a popcorn-munching roar of approval, but even with its cornball sentimentality in tow, the themes of post-war trauma and the relentless sacrifice and suffering endured from the Japanese perspective is something that no other Godzilla movie has delved into so deeply.

2023 Horror Part Sixteen

HOME FOR RENT

(2023)

Dir - Sophon Sakdaphisit

Overall: MEH

Another unabashed horror outing from Thai director Sophon Sakdaphisit, Home for Rent bites off a lot for a schlock fest and it wastes no time in doing so, pummeling the audience with "bump in the night" occult scare tactics and trying to have its emotionally ravaged outcome at the same time.  It can be seen as the country's answer to a James Wan movie; one that is so over the top that it becomes unintentionally goofy yet also one that diligently stays in its genre in the most aggressively popcorn-munching manner.  Broken up into three sections, (the latter two filling in each last nuance of mystery that was thrust upon the audience in the first one), Sakdaphisit and co-screenwriter Tanida Hantaweewatana throw every super scary detail that they can think of into the mix and never let the momentum simmer for an instant.  Old grandma witches, "white eyes equals creepy", chanting cult members, sinister symbols and alters bathed in blood, not one but two creepy dolls, psychic children, dead children, crows, mysterious behavior, shady characters, concerning tattoos, evil red books with no writing in them, CGI monster-faced ghosts, a continuous musical score, and jump scares a plenty; the entire thing easily tip its toes into a laughing stock on paper.  The performances are wonderful though and such a ludicrous supernatural story somehow defies the odds by being able to tug at the viewer's heartstrings by the heavy finale.

LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL
Dir - Cameron Cairnes/Colin Cairnes
Overall: MEH

The latest Late Night with the Devil from Australian sibling writer/director duo Cameron and Colin Cairnes gets by to a point on its bold premise and throwback aesthetic, but it also misses too many shots at the basket along the way.  First off, the found footage gimmick is half-assed, throwing in a stylized prologue and then presenting a complete recording of an alleged, 1977 late night talk show broadcast that also inexplicably has polished, black and white handheld camera sequences during the commercial breaks.  Also because of course, the digital effects and camera operators crosscutting between things that are inexplicably supernatural does everything in its power to further break verisimilitude, pummeling the viewer with the age-old found footage faux pas of "Who is editing all of this and why are they still shooting all of this so cinematically?".  That is a shame because other elements of the movie are fun, including a dedicated cast, a nifty concept, and a mostly authentic period presentation.  Many horror tropes are toyed with, as well as backstage politics and even a Bohemian Grove tie-in that provides plenty of juicy Easter eggs to nibble on.  The Cairnes' script leaves much to be desired though.  Despite its persistent flaws, it deserves props for still managing to keep the audience invested as to what diabolical and strange place everything is headed in, but the finale drops the ball, the intended humor never lands, and it clumsily bites off too much to chew.

LOVELY, DARK, AND DEEP

Dir - Teresa Sutherland

Overall: MEH

Though its unwavering mood is commendable, writer/director Teresa Sutherland's full-length debut Lovely, Dark, and Deep ends up spinning its wheels in an abyss of traumatic nightmare logic.  Georgina Campbell is becoming a scream queen as of late, appearing in a number of horror or horror-adjacent films and she does stoic work here as a park ranger in the Pacific Northwest who is drawn to such a line of work due to her sister disappearing at her current job's location, where a steady stream of people have also vanished to the point of even podcasts apparently trying to uncover the Bermuda Triangle-esque conspiracy of the place.  Campbell is aloof and says little, but this fits the trajectory of a person with Bruce Wayne determination to right a childhood wrong, yet her ultimate destination leaves much to be desired.  The mysterious tone serves the story better in the first of the film's two halves where the expansive woodland location has an effortlessly chilling and intimidating quality that could harbor any number of supernatural things.  Once we delve into them though, the momentum drags with an endless stream of shifting hallucinations that offer no satisfactory closure for our protagonist and instead just bring about a frustrating acceptance of the unknown.