Saturday, August 8, 2015

100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS: 80 - 61

80.  I'm Looking Through You

First off, the riff in this song is awesome.  I remember when I was a teenager and I must have gone a few months not listening to Rubber Soul because I distinctly remember thinking that I had come up with my own brilliant riff for one of my own songs in my head before finally re-listening to said album and naturally uttering an inner "Doh!".  The rest of "I'm Looking Through You" is greatness as well, one of Paul's more bitter jabs at his near ex-girlfriend Jane Asner.  Also, more clever Macgyver-esque percussion from Ringo, this time using a matchbox AND his knees.

79.  Don't Bother Me

"Don't Bother Me" is remembered more as George Harrison's first released and first successful stab at songwriting than as a memorable Beatles song.  Even Harrison himself thought so.  It was never performed live or talked about in many interviews, just kind of coming and going as an experiment to see if he could pull something album-worthy off.  That said, I have always been fond of it.  It is not even my lowest song by the Quiet Beatle on this list.  Ringo's Latin grooves stand-out pleasantly, plus the minor-flavored melody is one of the more interesting moments on With the Beatles.

78.  Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Many a source seems to point to "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" as the song that broke the camel's back during The Beatles (White Album) recording session.  Paul McCartney insisted on recording roughly forty-seven thousand takes of the song, trying every conceivable arrangement under the moon and stars before John Lennon presumably stormed off, calling it Paul's "granny music shit".  Which would have been a brilliant alternate title BTW.  Lennon later smoked some green, came back, and hammered away the famous piano intro to the song and demanded that they do it THAT way.  Which they did, thankfully so.

77.  Little Child

Relatively hidden by the hits, "Little Child" is a damn stand-out on With the Beatles.  It is one of the closer Beatles songs to sound like ones that they did during their old sweaty, upper-fueled, nicely-toasted, all night jam sessions in Hamburg, Germany.  Meaning that it is rip-roaring stuff.  Originally written as an early songwriting attempt between John and Paul, the dynamic duo were going to hand it off to Ringo, but Mr. Starr instead tackled the previous Rolling Stones giveaway "I Wanna Be Your Man".  This worked out well as both of these songs are successful toe-tappers.
76.  While My Guitar Gently Weeps

I love Eric Clapton, yet I prefer the Anthology released/solo George acoustic version of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" to the official The Beatles (White Album) one.  There are two reasons for this.  One, I always like acoustic ballads anyway and two, the original started to go the route of "Back In the U.S.S.R." and "Get Back" as a Beatles song that was too played out for my liking.  Still, any version of this song is great, including that one time that Prince gloriously destroyed the guitar solo when he had a go at it during George's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.

75.  Martha My Dear

Long and still suspected to be a song about Paul McCartney's own English Sheepdog, "Martha My Dear" is most likely once again also about Jane Asner, who is also known to Vincent Price fans as "that girl that was in Masque of the Red Death".  A number of lines can be interpreted either way, which is a big part of the song's fun.  "Help yourself to a bit of what is all around you" could either accurately describe what a large K9 would do when left alone at a banquet table or what a bitter ex-fiance would help themselves too before making the split official and permanent.  The song contributes to the excellence of The Beatles (The White Album) either way.

74.  Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)

I have always fancied the reprise of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" over the more famous album opener title track.  It starts with possibly Ringo's most famous and defining drum beat, (which the Dust Brothers got the jump on sampling for the Beastie Boys Paul's Boutique album).  Also, it has some of the band's heavier guitar sounds.  I cannot listen to "A Day In the Life" without bumping this right before it, as the segue is one of the many stupendous things on said album.  On that note, I generally listen to all of Sgt. Peppers from front to back anyway, as it was clearly meant to be heard.

73.  I Will

Alright, back to The Beatles (The White album).  Another song that is less than two minutes long and one that was originally conceived of in Rishikesh, India, "I Will" features zero George Harrison and mostly Paul and Ringo, with John supplying the percussion.  More "We're the Beatles, we do what we want" creativeness is present in the "mouth bass" that McCartney supplies, because why use a real bass all the time?  The galloping hooves sound that runs throughout is also nice, as well the very last "I wiiiiiiiillll" high note.

72.  She's Leaving Home

Alright, now back to Sgt. Pepper's.  Just as "Eleanor Rigby" was a success in featuring only voice and orchestra with no actual Beatles musicianship, "She's Leaving Home" goes the same route.  It is still unique in the fact that George Martin did not arrange the string section as he always had done before and would continue to do until that nasty Phil Specter business on Let It Be.  Instead, Mike Leander did and does a swanky job at that.  Paul wrote the verses, John the chorus, and they each sing lead on each section, respectfully.  I have always adored the melody in "She's Leaving Home", one of the most lush and sweeping moments on Pepper's.

71.  Tell Me Why

Here is a successful John Lennon attempt to write a doo-wop song for the Hard Day's Night album.  "Tell Me Why" was recorded in eight takes in a single day in February of 1964, which was typical of the time.  It still blows my mind that so many legendary Beatles songs were written, tracked, and then released usually in a period of mere weeks or months at the most.  Maybe that is because it always takes mere mortal bands years to get around to doing much of anything, let alone anything of The Beatles' caliber.  The opening drum fills are great, the high harmony in the middle eight is great, the drum break is great, and especially that chorus is early era Beatles just firing on all cylinders.

70.  Octopus's Garden

The Ringo Rises!  Ringo's second, last, and best solo contribution to a Beatles album was the Abbey Road highlight "Octopus's Garden".  Since that album is full of nothing but highlights, this is saying something that Ringo got a piece of the pie.  A fitting sequel to "Yellow Submarine", this time Mr. Starkey is singing his own words about living not in a brightly colored sea vessel, but instead in the sea itself.  It is intentionally childish, lighthearted, and infectious as all get out.  George helped his drummer flesh out the chord changes to fit the vocal melody, plus his lead guitar playing was rarely better than here.

69.  Taxman

George Harrison's only opening track to a Beatles album was Revolver's viscous, funny, and brilliant "Taxman".  It may be one of the most "no room for interpretation" songs that the band ever cut, as it wears its prime objective on its sleeve; "paying taxes sucks".  George rambles off two British party leaders by name, (Harold Wilson and Edward Heath), and the line "one for you, nineteen for me" sung from the "taxman's" point of view is not an exaggeration.  Not to take a thing away from Mr. Harrison of course, but Paul is a beast on this song.  The guitar solo is his and I would put this in the top five best bass performances that he ever gave as well, which says much.

68.  Julia

"Julia" is John Lennon's one and only solo Beatles performance on record, and it may be the most personal song that he ever penned whilst in the group.  John's mother Julia was killed by a drunk driver when he was 17, and the indecent understandably scared him for life.  Also at this time, Yoko Ono was in the picture and the line "Oceanchild calls me" directly references her transcribed first name of "child of the sea".  Lennon learned the finger picking style used for the song from Donovan whilst the band was transcendental meditationing it up in Rishikesh, India where a huge bulk of The Beatles (The White Album) was written.  It is a beautiful moment to close off the first half of the greatest album ever made.

67.  If I Fell

John Lennon called "If I Fell" his first attempt at penning a proper ballad, and it is so effortlessly gorgeous and etched into our brains that it is hard to imagine that the song has not just always existed.  Then again, there are a good number of Beatles songs which one could say this about.  I love how the song starts before the "one" with vocals, plus John and Paul's harmonizing is chill-inducing.  It is also a funny moment in the Hard Days Night film when John basically sings it directly to Ringo to cheer him up before yelling that he needs "more bang!" on the drums when they are done.  Thankfully the song itself worked just fine without such "more bang".

66.  Yesterday

Just like how I put Superman in the lower half of my Favorite Comic Book Characters list and The Exorcist in the lower half of my Favorite Horror Movies list, now I present you with "Yesterday" in the lower half of my Favorite Beatles Songs list.  Though do not get me wrong; I have nothing but loving praise for this song.  Paul famously composed his very most famous and covered tune while stumbling out of bed and onto the piano, singing "Scrambled eggs" until he came up with the proper words.  This was after he played the melody for everyone that he knew, convinced that he heard it somewhere else before.  When finally giving up that it was his own, The Beatles first solo performed single and record was made, as was music history in the process.

65.  I Want You (She's So Heavy)

Out of the many, many revolutionary musical innovations that we can thank The Beatles for, the invention of doom metal is one that few people would consider was one of them.  Enter "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" into the discussion though and you could make at least a relatively fair argument.  At nearly eight minutes, this was as long as a Beatles album track ever got.  There are only fourteen words in it, only two sections that it bounces between, it has one of John's greatest screams, and it intentionally ends abruptly, presumably to make you think that your record player stopped working.  For a meandering song exclusively about Yoko Ono, there is certainly a whole lot of awesome going on up in here.

64.  The Night Before

The second track on Help! is "The Night Before", and it is McCartney's first of numerous fantastic moments on said album.  John Lennon makes a rare appearance on just electric piano, with both Paul and George laying down the lead guitar.  Paul's lead vocal with George and John's call back background accompaniments sounds stupendous as always.  Plus Ringo spices it up during the middle eight with some Latin-esque accents again.  The Beatles have so many masterpieces with ingredients similar to this that it is almost like shooting fish in a barrel with coming up with your favorites.  Am I complaining though?  Heavens no.

63.  Flying

The only instrumental that is making an appearance on this list and one of the few Beatles instrumentals in general is Magical Mystery Tour's "Flying".  This is also just about the only song floating around that all four members of the group share equal writing credit on.  Mystery Tour is a high album and an even higher film, so "Flying" fits the free-loving, do all the drugs thou wilt, tied-eyed hippy spirit of both.  It also features my favorite instrument ever built, the mellotron which John plays throughout.  There is nothing much to it arrangement wise as it is just the same part looped around a few times.  It ultimately makes me wish that The Beatles had some more mellow jams such as this in their catalog.

62.  You're Going To Lose That Girl

More doo-wop inspired, call and response and harmony vocal magic on the Help! track "You're Going To Lose That Girl".  It is only sung as "You're gonna lose that girl" the entire time, but that is neither here nor there.  This one is amusing due to Lennon basically being a dick and threatening/bragging about how he is going to easily steal an acquaintance's girl from him if he does not "treat her right".  We never hear the other side of the story and you are right, it does not matter.  There is some mighty fine bongo playing in this one, plus it has one of George's best solos.  Also, the studio sequence in the film Help! is as memorable as a pre-MTV music video ever was.

61.  I'll Be Back

The only somber moment that can be found on the otherwise jovial Hard Day's Night album is in the closer "I'll Be Back", at least musically.  It is certainly still an excellent way to send said album home.  A mostly John Lennon song with a side of Paul throwing in a thought or two, "I'll Be Back" features no real chorus and no electric guitars.  Similar lyrically to "You Can't Do That" in the fact that the verse here is semi-threatening and bordering on stalker-esque, the minor chords giving it its sinister edge.  As is the case with every Beatles song, I love the melody, plus the "IIIIIIIII thought that you would realize" part can also do no wrong.  I could easily put every song from this album on here and just about did.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS: 100 - 81

100.  Day Tripper

"Day Tripper" is one of the few Beatles songs that any of my bands have attempted to cover, if only for the reason that it contains arguably the most famous riff in their catalog.  Playing primarily in riff-based rock and metal bands my whole life, it seems the go to.  John Lennon came up with said guitar hook and most of the rest of it, Paul McCartney throwing his two cents in as he was wont to do.  Not too serious or too silly, just a hasitly written and recorded single that The Beatles pushed out in time for Christmas of 1965 when they were able to do such things in their sleep.

99.  I'm Down

My cousin once sang along to this in the car going "How can you crap, when you know it's brown?".  So now you are welcome, since you will likewise be laughing out loud every time that you hear it from here on out, just as I have since that fateful day.  There is actually more to give us a chuckle with "I'm Down" than me and my family's immature humor though.  The live Shea Stadium version of the song is the one that features John Lennon's elbows on the Vox organ, an instrument by his own admittance that he had virtually no idea how to play.  Try watching said footage and not start giggling right along with George, Paul, and especially John at how wonkers it all sounds.

98.  The Fool On the Hill

When Paul McCartney came up with the Magical Mystery Tour film "concept" all on his lonesome, he supposedly drew a circle and said "OK we'll have a song here, then a bit here, then you write something here..." and so on.  McCartney not only composed "The Fool On the Hill" solo while mucking about on his dad's piano back home, but during the filming of Tour, he also ran off with the crew and just shot the would-be music video segment solo as well.  The rest of the band is on the actual track, as well as a handful of flutists which you cannot miss, but for the most part this is just a simple and memorable Paul ballad.

97.  Misery

The first Beatles jam to get covered and released by another artist and the second song on the band's first album Please Please Me was the ballad "Misery".  It was written for British songbird Helen Shapiro whom The Beatles embarked on one of their earliest tours with.  Both John and Paul "hacked it out" as they later said backstage and on the fly.  Shapiro never used it, but Kenny Lynch, (who later appeared on McCartney's Band On the Run album cover), did.  The Beatles version, being the only one that anyone remembers anyway, clocks in at less than two minutes and was basically thrown in to give the album another original.  Though it is hardly a bad thing as it holds up as well as if not better than many.

96.  What Goes On

Though seemingly 90% written by John, I look at Rubber Soul's "What Goes On" more as a Ringo Starr song.  Well for one, it is the first such Beatles original that Mr. Starkey got a writing credit on as he contributed "About five words", he later said.  The bulk of it was composed back in the Please Please Me days and was going to be a follow-up single to said title track, an idea that at some point was abandoned.  The group brought it back to life a few years later, Paul and Ringo pumped some input into it, yet most impressive to me, Ringo delivers his most restraint drum performance on it.  Not one fill, crash, or hi-hat accent, just straight time for two-minutes and fifty seconds.  For any snob out there who thinks that such tasteful does not deserve so much praise, you try playing that and resisting the urge to embellish it so much as once.

95.  Help!

Another total John Lennon joint, "Help!" was the fourth number one Beatles single in the US in a row and the title track for one of their finest albums as well as their finest film of the same name.  Yes I know, A Hard Day's Night is amazing too.  John, (who was manic depressive for most of his life), penned the tune as an honest plea for assistance.  Yet being the song-slinger that he was with only McCartney as his peer, he could not help but to turn it into a pop masterpiece, the toll of fame, women, and being in his "fat Elvis period" be dammed.  So even though its earnestness may have fallen on deaf ears for most people besides those close to Lennon at the time, everyone knows this song, has sung along to it, and loves it.

94.  When I'm Sixty-Four

Sir Paul composed "When I'm Sixty-Four" when he was sixteen, more as a goof to amuse his Liverpudlian band mates at the time than anything for serious consideration.  Call it the eclectic brilliance of Sgt. Peppers, (or the Beatles in general), but the song found its proper and memorable home on said album, fitting there amongst the rest of the psychedelic whimsy.  I always dug this song as I have most of the Beatles "sillier" numbers, ala "Yellow Submarine" and "All Together Now", (more on that one later).  The oompa bass line and self depreciating lyrics cannot help but to crack a smile on one's face.  Nice brushwork from Ringo as well, naturally.

93.  I Saw Her Standing There

Whenever I listen to The Beatles discography in order which is often, the "One, two, three, fah!" intro to "I Saw Her Standing There" just seems like the perfect jumping-off point.  Just as the "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End" trilogy is the perfect place to, well, end.  This is mostly a Paul song, though John chimed in hilariously with a fix up line.  Originally "She was just seventeen, never been a beauty queen", John apparently said that is rubbish and helped contribute the "you know what I mean" line instead.  Showing that John probably was the only person ever to have the right to step-in and tell Paul he done fucked up something in a song.  Now if only he could have also done that for "Wonderful Christmas Time".

92.  I Don't Want To Spoil the Party

A beautiful, understated ballad from John Lennon,  the country-esque "I Don't Want To Spoil the Party" fits perfectly on Beatles For Sale.  Similar to the lonesome and self-pitying lyrics in "No Reply" and "I'm a Loser" off said album, this is another one where John seems to be quietly moping to himself.  Never that famous of a Beatles track, Rosanne Cash still covered and topped the country charts with it in 1989, proving that a Lennon/McCartney jam can do such things where that genre is concerned as well, and decades after the fact no less.  As for my self and the Beatles version, I love the melody and twangy guitar solo, as well as Ringo's floor-tom hook during the bridge.

91.  What You're Doing

12-string goodness right here.  Another off of the Beatles For Sale album, "What You're Doing" features a drum intro, George Martin on piano, and no chorus, most of which are rare for a Beatles song.  Also rare is that it is a more somber love song helmed exclusively by Paul, with doubtful lyrics more akin to something that John would have come up with at the time.  I love the For Sale album in general as it is a perfect midway point showing the group getting weary and restless from Beatlemania as well as from pumping out "I Want To Hold Your Hand" type singles, thus prompting them to get into more introspective songwriting.  "What You're Doing" fits perfectly with this lot.

90.  Wait

Since John Lennon apparently did not remember writing it, one must logically assume that "Wait" is a solo McCartney joint.  Originally tracked for the Help! album, "Wait" had to "wait", (har, har), for Rubber Soul to finally get unleashed.  As great as both Help! and Rubber Soul are, it is at one point impossible to understand how this got cut from the former yet also impossible all of these decades later to picture the latter without it.  "Wait" just sounds like a Rubber Soul jam.  I enjoy how Ringo fucks off during the second middle-eight section, as it is the little things that matter sometimes.

89.  Lovely Rita

Were The Beatles the first band to even think of using a comb and paper kazoo on a recording?  I would place my money on "yes".  Fitting for an album such as Sgt. Peppers where the rule book was intentionally abandoned, "Lovely Rita" is equally inspiring and amusing in that its genesis lies in the most mundane everyday life occurrence.  Referring to the fact that Paul McCartney got a parking ticket outside of Abbey Road and instead of getting all pissed as I would have done, he simply shrugged it off and wrote a song about the meter-maid who gave him said ticket.  Now we have this song, and the world is a better place because of it.

88. The Long and Winding Road

"The Long and Winding Road" is almost infamous due to McCartney's own open disdain for the officially released version that Phil Specter "ruined" on the Let It Be album.  Maybe it is because that is the version that we all heard for years, but I like it just fine, love it in fact.  If McCartney did not take every opportunity available to say how much the strings suck on it I probably never would have even questioned them.  The Let It Be Naked and Anthology versions that were eventually put out sans-any orchestral enhancement show Paul's intended vision anyway, and it goes to show that the song is amazing with or without the bombastic strings.

87.  Yer Blues

Sometimes, (well make that all the times), it is nice just to hear The Beatles tearing up a live jam session.  "Yer Blues" is John, Paul, George, and Ringo at their proper instruments with no overdubs, a rare moment for the time not only coming out of the Sgt Pepper/Magical Mystery Tour studio experimentation phase, but also being on The Beatles (White Album) where for the most part, all four of them went off and did their own thing.  John came up with "Yer Blues" while fasting and trying to find god in Rishikesh, India during the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi retreat.  The lyrics are full of fun, tongue-in-cheek white-people-playing-the-blues references.  Yet mostly the song just kicks ass for rocking harder than The Beatles would usually usually allow at that point.

86.  Cry Baby Cry

I will be having a lot of songs from The Beatles (The White Album) on this list as it is my favorite record ever made, so now we come to "Cry Baby Cry".  A Lennon song with a brief McCartney tag in the form of the "Can You Take Me Back" outro, this is John at his acoustic best.  I love the walk down melody in the verses, plus this has one of Ringo's finest performances, perfectly placed drum fills as per his usual shtick.  Of course I wish that the Paul section was longer and more fleshed out, but a large part of said album's charm is its sprawling mess, so this fits right at home.

85.  She's a Woman

Paul McCartney made a career out of trying to copy Little Richard whenever he could, and he admitted that "She's A Woman" was another attempt at just such a thing.  One of The Beatles' most overall fun tracks, it was released as a B-side to "I Feel Fine" in 1964.  It ended up in their live set shortly thereafter and got a fittingly rambunctious treatment.  Paul's bass line and especially the choppy rhythm guitars are slamming.  I reckon if I ever get a Beatles tribute band going, (which Satan willing, someday I will), this would be one of the first songs that we would attempt to nail down.

84.  Savoy Truffle

Sometimes if you are cool enough to be rock royalty, you can not only be in The Beatles elite social circle, but you can also inspire one of their songs.  The also cool enough to be a guitar god Eric Clapton's sweet tooth gave George Harrison the idea for "Savoy Truffle", one of his four songs on The Beatles (The White Album).  Similar to how John simply took the text from a poster to make the lyrics for "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite", George reads off a list of flavors from a box of Mackintosh's Good News here.  "Truffle" is one of the funnier Beatles songs, and one of the stronger George ones to boot.

83.  I'll Follow the Sun

This may be the shortest song on this list, clocking in at only a minute and forty-seven seconds.  It is also one of the oldest, a recorded version from 1960 existing in bootleg form for years on the You Might As Well Call Us the Quarrymen compilation.  Appearing officially on Beatles For Sale, "I'll Follow the Sun" has always been my favorite Paul moment from said album.  Acoustic ballads always do it for me so naturally, one by The Beatles would extra do it for me.  It is also nice that Ringo chose not to use his kit but instead just kept the beat for the song while smacking his knees.  I have said it several times, but Mr. Starr always knew exactly what to do to make every song that he played on work.

82.  Any Time At All

At this point, every Beatles album sounds like a greatest hits album.  At least for any other band who could only dream of having ONE record as good as any of theirs.  A Hard Days Night proves this in spades as each song is almost better than the last, and "Any Time At All" is the debut from said album on this list.  It is a true collaboration between John and Paul, with John composing the bulk of it and Paul coming up with the middle-eight.  Lennon called it a re-write of "It Won't Be Long", another awesome song that shall be making an appearance later on here.  So if you are as good as The Beatles, why not rip yourself off once in awhile and get two masterpieces out of one?

81.  You Can't Do That

John Lennon playing a guitar solo and singing about being a jealous guy?  Well at least one of those two things was a rarity.  George actually came up with the guitar intro to "You Can't Do That", but the rest is John at his threatening best, a precursor to "Run For Your Life" to be sure.  Another Hard Days Night cut with typically amazing harmony, as well as call and response vocals from John, Paul, and George, it is just jangly pop greatness as is that whole album, plus most of what The Beatles songbook is chock full of anyway.  Any band in 1964 would have shot their mother in the face to write a song as good as this mere B-side to "Can't Buy Me Love".

100 Favorite Beatles Songs


100 FAVORITE BEATLES SONGS

Yay, time for another list that was inspired by the exact same list!  Last Christmas I got Stephen J Spignesi and Michael Lewis's book 100 Best Beatles Songs - An Informed Fan's Guide from a fellow gargantuan Fab Four freak, and I proceeded to quickly plow through it.  Naturally, I amused myself throughout the read, spending equal moments going "Yeah I can see that" ("Strawberry Fields", "In My Life"),  as well as "Huh? ("It's All Too Much", "Long, Long, Long").  Other entries were entirely predictable, ("Get Back", "Come Together"), yet they would not be choices that I would made in my own such list.  So what choices WOULD I make in my own such list, you are all clearly asking right this very second?  Read on good sirs and madams.

Now the authors of said Beatles songs volume chose not to include any of the group's excellent covers and I likewise stuck with this rule.  As much as The Beatles totally own "Baby It's You" and "You Really Got a Hold On Me", there are over two-hundred original compositions in the Fab cannon and virtually all of them are masterpieces.  The Beatles are and have always been my favorite band, (as I have said on this blog before), and I have been of the opinion for most of my life that they do not have any "bad" songs or albums.  There are less groups that I can say that about than I can count on one hand, John, Paul, George, and Richard topping them all.

So for consideration on these here originals, I went all the way back to the group's earliest recordings through the very last.  Meaning the two "new" Beatles songs "Free As A Bird" and "Real Love" count for inclusion, as does "You'll Be Mine", which is the earliest known recorded Lennon/McCartney original.  Granted the band was still known as the Quarrymen then, but we all know how that ended up, right?

Here's a hint, it did not fare well for the chap on the right.

There may be one other band that I will do a list like this for and you would be right to guess they are the band that rhymes with Piss, but more on that when and if I ever get around to it.  Me and my Beatles fan girlfriend just started watching The Beatles Anthology, which would make it my sixth or seventh time I believe, and that is not counting my reading of the massive book of the same name which is virtually a transcript of the documentary, plus a few extra thousand words or so.  So I have the utmost confidence to make both a well-informed and personal ranking.  If anyone else out there thinks that I like "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)" way too much, Paul McCartney has gone on record as saying that it is his favorite Beatles recording.  So argue with him, not me.  I will have plenty of other entries for you to argue with, I am sure.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

2012 Horror Part Two

CITADEL
Dir - Ciaran Foy
Overall: MEH

A lot of up and coming filmmakers are offering up their debut ventures into horror over the last several years, which is a good thing on paper.  Irishman Ciaran Foy's Citadel is apparently autobiographical, which is a bit unnerving in itself as the parts of the film that actually happened to him are quite terrifying.  As far as the actual finished product being terrifying, that is a different story.  There is a moment where a pipe is hacked open to let the gas leak out of it and this is a perfect analogy for the movie as a whole.  The dilapidated setting is depicted in such an overblown manner that it loses believability.  For a city where human beings supposedly live, there is a single bus route, cab service, a hospital, and we see less than ten actual people dwelling there. The opening scene is effectively unpleasant and generally the whole first act is well done with the agoraphobia of our main protagonist Tommy (Aneurin Barnard) being decently conveyed.  Ever so gradually though, the dreadful air gets let out and the final act boasts some groan inducing character development and a quite unclimatic ending.  This is very much an example of a horror film with plenty of potential, but one that took an unfortunate, mediocre turn with some all too common leaps in logic thrown in. 

HERE COMES THE DEVIL
Dir - Adrián García Bogliano
Overall: GOOD

Leave it to Mexico to usher back the good ole camera zoom into horror cinema.  Adrián García Bogliano's Here Comes the Devil, (Ahí va el diablo), is a surprisingly successful outing.  Surprising for a few reasons.  First of all, it only has a 39% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and also, the film's lead heroine Laura Caro was a Mexican pop star at one point and spends a good number of her scenes in the nude.  In fact every female except one has their clothes off at one point or another and the film opens with a lesbian sex scene that is basically pornographic.  There is also some brutal gore and a grindcore song plays during the closing credits, putting things more on the bombastic side.  Bogliano makes a splendid effort to pack some wallops in with a leaning-towards-thin budget.  There is a small handful of highly improbable incidents and one or two monologues delivered that will make you chuckle unintentionally, but this is nothing to undo the more over-the-top, blasphemous tone.  Ultimately it is all about titties, blood, Satan, and metal and the film makes no apologies in being so.

THE CONSPIRACY

Dir - Christopher MacBride
Overall: GOOD

The Conspiracy is a Canadian film and the full length debut from writer/director Christopher MacBride.  It also serves as one of those faux documentary/found footage movies there always seems to be no shortage of, one that is clearly inspired by unsettling, Bohemian Grove theories.  This is a clear example of the limitations and benefits of said genre pretty much evenly duking it out with each other.  Things build up nicely for the first two acts, but the third is really when the horror components kick into serious gear.  The most fantastic moments in the last thirty minutes or so were made fantastic by the single camera technique that only a found footage approach could pull off.  At the same time, the decision to structure everything as a documentary ends up hindering the film as a whole.  We the viewer know from the beginning that since we are watching the finished, edited, and scored product of the filmmakers within a film's "movie", that what we end up seeing is not really going to get all that crazy.  So as a general rule of drama, if there is no true peril for the protagonists to face, then we cannot really worry about them too much.  Even though it can only be so compelling by design then, it delivers some undeniable chills the likes of which few thrillers ever effectively pull-off.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

2000s Asian Horror Part Two

DARK TALES OF JAPAN
(2004)
Dir - Yoshihiro Nakamura/Norio Tsuruta/Kōji Shiraishi/Takashi Shimizu/Masayuki Ochiai
Overall: MEH
 
The made-for-TV anthology collection Dark Tales of Japan, (Suiyô puremia: sekai saikyô J horâ SP Nihon no kowai yoru), was originally broadcast on a TBS program and is of interest for featuring some notable J-horror directors behind the lens.  While none of the segments are memorable and the television presentation neuters any gore or otherwise explicit content let alone any intense scare tactics, the collection runs an agreeable ninety-minutes and has a couple of oddball ideas to work with.  Yoshihiro Nakamura's wrap-around bit with an old lady persistently asking people on a buss if they want to hear a scary tale is pointless, but his opening "The Spiderwoman" is a fun urban legend romp with a ridiculous monster creature that shows up.  Norio Tsuruta's "Crevices", Kōji Shiraishi's "The Sacrifice", and Takashi Shimizu's "Blonde Kwaidan" all fail to capitalize on their otherworldly premises, but at least Shiraishi's entry has a giant disembodied head that inexplicably shows up for effective "WTF" purposes.   The closing "Presentment" by Masayuki Ochiai is the most predictable and straight-forward, but it has a nice frantic performance from Teruyuki Kagawa as an embezzling office worker who gets trapped in an elevator with some unwanted guests.

KAIDAN
(2007)
Dir - Hideo Nakata
Overall: GOOD
 
The only J-Horror Theater entry to be a period piece, Hideo Nakata's Kaidan was based on the ghost story "Shinkei Kasanegafuchi" by Enchou Sanyutei, which was also adapted in the 1957 film Kaidan Kasane-ga-fuchi.  Set in feudal Japan and largely adhering to a more tranquil, traditional Japanese horror tone that harkens back to paramount works such as Ugetsu and Kwaidan, the vengeful spirit story still lends itself fittingly to the filmmaker who brought us the Ring.  As one of J-horror's most prominent voices, Nakata still manages to utilized a number of modern day scare tactics and visuals.  Sadly these include enormously poor CGI snakes and blood splatters, though thankfully such things infrequently appear.  Though it runs for two hours and presents a relentlessly dour chain of events, the film never feels too laboriously long or monotonous.  This is due to a well-maintained atmosphere which is benefited by effectively haunting music and well-grounded performances.  The movie is not particularly scary and the plot follows a rather foreseeable, tragic ghost story logic, but it is an effective, quasi-throwback all the same.
 
YOGA HAKWON
(2009)
Dir - Yoon Jae-yeon
Overall: MEH

The to-date second of only two films from writer/director Yoon Jae-yeon, Yoga Hakwon, (Yoga, Yoga School, Yoga Academy, Yoga Class, Yoga Institute), is well-shot and pulls no punches with some viscerally unsettling set pieces, yet it also fails to properly string its narrative components together.  Delving into the disturbing lengths that pressured women will go to in order to achieve empowerment and elongated beauty, (which the latter can be seen as an essential component to the former here), it mostly takes place at a mysterious yoga sanctuary where a small handful of students are taken on at a time in order to train under an even more mysterious former actor who may very well be immortal via supernaturally dubious means.  It plays in a similar league to Dario Argento's Suspiria, yet it is visually more grimy and contemporary even if it has its own fairy tale allusions that help permeate an otherworldly tone.  Highlighted by wonderful cinematography and solid performances, unfortunately the third act shits the bed by abandoning a side arc all together and indulging in monotonous, sluggish mood setting that leads to a messy payoff.  Lumbering instead of suspenseful, it is therefor only partially successful as a whole, yet genre fans may enjoy the diabolical effort all the same.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

2014 Horror Part Two

THE CANAL
Dir - Ivan Kavanagh
Overall: GOOD 

Irish filmmaker Ivan Kavanagh's The Canal is a mostly enjoyable, contemporary spookfest.  Opening rather undramatically with the line "Who wants to see ghosts?", the grounded yet unnerving tone is set pretty directly from the outset.  The soundtrack is a strong point, with low, droning hums and completely unmelodic ambience conveying the right atmosphere.  The standard dream sequences are marvelously done as well, (a particular scene in a rather filthy, public toilet is quite memorable).  Another strong component is the performances and as opposed to the same year's The Babadook, youngster Calum Heath's Billy is a remarkably pleasant and well behaved movie kid.  For a ghost story, it is nice for once that "imaginary friend" tropes are not attributed to him as he pretty much never encounters any of the bumps in the night as children in horror films almost 100% seem required to do.  Considering that the material is rather conventional on paper, Kavanagh's approach is noticeably fresh.  This nicely elevates it from hoards of other more by-the-books, supernatural horror movies.

KRISTY
Dir - Oliver Blackburn
Overall: WOOF

Opening with long set up and even a fun montage to become familiar with the lead protagonist, Olly Blackburn's Kristy eventually becomes an obnoxious checklist of illogical and over-used slasher movie nonsense.  By being so generic in structure as well as execution, there is zero that happens which is unique in anyway shape or form.  Nearly every move is predictable, every character does stupid things, the laws of physics are ignored, the lights are all off, cell phones do not work, the villains wear masks and tilt their heads like a pug while the soundtrack makes banging noises, blatant foreshadowing stinks up the joint, and, well, you get the idea.  For those familiar with the concept of a pretty girl left all alone while a bunch of maniacs chase her around, then you likewise know all the rhythms and cliches which this film misses not a one.  Haley Bennett's performance is fine and the movie looks OK so there are no problems there.  Everything else though is a different story.  As an extra negative, the final line of dialogue and the post credit scene are both terrible in a cringe-worthy manner.  The same can truly be said about the whole movie really.

TUSK
Dir - Kevin Smith
Overall:  GOOD

Well this is certainly...a movie.  From the SModcast episode where Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier both conceived of the film in real time, to the Twitter post by Smith to ask his fans if they wanted him to make this insanity a reality, to the updates on filming and casting and the eventual release of the trailer, the final unveiling of Tusk certainly delivers on its ludicrous promise.  This movie walks an incredibly tricky line.  The concept, (on paper and screen), is absolutely ridiculous and obviously Smith is well aware of this considering the well-documented, marijuana-influenced circumstances of its origins.  Johnny Deep's entire character as well as a handful of other scenes throughout definitely reek favorably of Smith's laugh-out-loud sense of humor.  On the other hand, the majority of it is played very straight.  When things gets real, they get very real in an intentionally unpleasant way.  Michael Parks steals the film and is astounding here, turning in a Vincent Price worthy performance that sees him taking the camp level to an utterly believable place, making the absurdity of it so very disturbing.  It is equally one of the most preposterous major-released horror movies out there yet also one of the most balls-out unsettling.